Chapter 32
Apologies
The dawn broke quietly in the forest but Robin felt no peace. What had he gotten himself into? Marion was dead, he had taken Noor and her son hostage, said horrible things to her, soon he was going to allow a man to die in the worst way possible and eventually James of Essex would realize that Noor was not here willingly. Robin was pretty sure that no matter how closely they had been friends in the Holy Lands; James was not going to allow him to take Noor and Abdullah out of here without a fight.
What had he gotten himself into? Robin lay on his side as the dawn rose and tried to clear his head. How was he going to make any of this right? Could he make any of this right?
"Noor," he whispered.
A slight shape stirred from across the fire. "Noor, please come and talk to me." Robin whispered to her in a low voice. The shape stirred and set the small boy down near the fire and smoothed his hair. Noor then moved to just out of his arm's reach and sat silently on the ground, her face still covered by her chador and niqab. "Noor, I don't know how I ended up here. Really I don't. I don't know how all of this ended up this way and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you Noor. Tell me what to do so that this is right."
The silent figure stared at him from its uncovered left eye. He could understand why Vaisezy hadn't wanted her cloaked. It shook him to see her that way. It didn't seem natural to not be able to see her face. Before last night she had never remained covered around him unless Salahadin and King Richard had been present.
"Noor, please, what would you have me do, beg?" Robin stood in front of the kneeling figure and then formally prostrated himself in front of her, head in the dirt floor of the forest. "Oh great sorceress, I humbly beg your intervention. It seems I have made many mistakes in the last day and I have hurt a person I care for dearly. What must I do to make amends?"
"Get up, Robin. Get your head out of the dirt. Quit making a pathetic spectacle of yourself. You want to make amends – here's a thought - apologize."
"No really Noor. What would you have me do?" Robin looked at her in exasperation, obviously Noor was still angry.
"Seriously Robin, apologize, first to your men for going insane. It is your job to lead them and your display yesterday not only put them in danger but let them down. You heard my stories for a long time and yet have learned nothing. Apologize to your men for your mistakes.
Next, you go into Nottingham and reveal that this man is not dead. I told you in the Holy Lands your purpose in this life; it is the doing of all good and righteous deeds. Letting this man be buried alive is neither good nor righteous and you cannot allow it.
Then my Lord Locksley, Earl of Huntington, you have a few choices. If you wish to remain here, I feel you must return Abdullah and me to the castle. If you decide that this place is intolerable for you to remain then you must choose to leave. Then you must also decide whether or not to ask us, politely, to journey with you or return us to the castle." With that Noor fell silent again and peered at him with her uncovered eye.
"Noor, take your niqab off at least, you know it bothers me not to be able to see your face. I'll do everything you say except there is something I must do first." Taking her hand Robin pulled her into the deep woods, slightly apart from the camp. Once again he fell to his knees and lowered his head. "Princess Noor I have insulted you deeply. You are a friend of my King and I once counted you as a dear friend of mine. My actions are unforgivable but I beg for your indulgence. I'm sorry."
"Robin, get up. Quit talking to me like you're in the court of Jerusalem. We're friends, Robin, that doesn't change when you lose your mind. It's when you lose your mind that it is most important for your friends not to listen to you. Do you remember the moral of the story I told you once, 'the mad merchant's wife'?"
"No, Noor, I don't remember the moral." Robin looked at the ground in shame. Noor had tried her hardest to teach him how to be a good leader when he was in the holy land and somehow he had forgotten her teachings.
"When the wife was asked why she remained with the merchant once he had gone mad do you remember what she told the fishmonger's wife? Loving someone is easy when things are good but Allah gives you the strongest love when it's hard. That is how loyalty works Robin. Being your friend was easy when our Kings were working for peace and we could laugh in the gardens of the palace. Being your friend when you are in pain is much harder, but the rewards of it are much more substantial."
"Later, Noor, we will need to talk again. Can we do that?" Robin asked quietly. He was never sure what to do with Noor, just like Marion and Much, he didn't really deserve to have her in his life in any way.
"Of course, Robin, I'm sure there are things you would like to talk about now that you are in a calmer frame of mind. First though you should talk to your men and attempt to save this Guy of Gisbourne from being buried alive."
"Do I really have to, Noor?" Robin asked her with a mischievous smile.
"What apologize? Of course, you have disappointed your men and you must take responsibility for that."
"No I meant, save Guy of Gisbourne. He really is a pain in the neck, Noor. Trust me, if you knew him you'd let them bury him alive." Robin said with a laugh.
"Doer of good deeds, Robin, you are to be a doer of all good deeds. Your atonement for your sins in the Holy Lands is the doing of good deeds for as long as you are alive. That includes saving this 'pain in the neck' from being buried alive." Noor said with a laugh. It was good to hear Robin joke again; perhaps she could talk him into releasing her and Abdullah safely at some point.