I was content in my decision to completely ruin Ivans life, but I was at a complete loss when it came to washing my pajama bottoms. I had no idea if there was even a washer and dryer here, or if I was going to have to wash my clothes by hand. Or worse, draw the water from a frozen lake outside. Really, burning the things was becoming an appealing idea, and my healing leg and feet were a problem for walking, but I wasn't about to let Ivan know any of my weaknesses... Even if it came to washing my own cloths. Or worse. Cooking my own food. Or even worse than that! Being nice.

I pulled the covers over my body and called out Ivan's name a few times to see if he was in the house, but was a little disappointed when I got no response. I called out again, just to be sure, then slowly swung my legs off the side of the bed to get up. Surely with all that sleeping I would of been fine, but when I put pressure on my leg, it hurt like ram horn in the ass. My feet didn't seem to be a problem, and my other injuries seemed fine too, but the healing bruse on my leg and ankle hurt. I thought of what Ivan would say if he had to wash cum out of my clothes and cringed. What if he didn't care? What If… What if I wanted him not to care?

Of course I knew that was a bunch of bull and that if I wanted him to feel emotional pain, I would have to be my own man and stick it to him good. And not like a pixie stick either. Or even a Chick'o stick. More like a stick stick. One with spikes on it. And it would scratch the fuck out of him and he would be like, "What the hell dude, your stick just scratched me." And I would be like, "I fuckin' know. Thats when you get when you mess with me." Then pound my chest like King Kong. I knew how all of this worked.

You have to exert your dominance over everything. You had to claim what was yours, even if it wasn't really yours. Cause thats what men do. I took a deep breath and, leaning on my good leg, made a start for the bathroom. The floor was warm under my toes, which sort of distracted me. The small journey shouldn't have been as hard for me as it was, but I guess laying in bed for almost four days, coupled with being a lazy shit can really get to you sometimes. When I finally got to the closed door I gave it a firm knock, hoping that if Ivan was inside he couldn't hear my excessive panting. After a while of impatiently leaning on the door I opened it and stumbled inside.

The room was small, cosy and awkwardly shaped. Like a short L flipped over. The floor was a caramel colored granite, with black granite placed every few spaces. The entire back wall was one large window that looked out over rolling hills that fell into a valley of sunflowers, all dusted with snow. The entrance was only a bit wider than my arm span. On my right was a white tiled counter fitted with a bowl shaped sink and a faucet attached above it to the wall.

Small hand towels were neatly folded and placed on either side of the sink, a peach colored bar of soap sat on a small wooden soap holder next to it. Shelves were built into the wall, and among Russian labeled products, I could find my own. Bottles of hair gel, cheap cologne, Crest toothpaste, my hair brush. All of it was there, all my things neatly lined up along side his. The guys who took me really left nothing behind. Even my toothbrush was there, leaning up against his, their bristles touching… I moved it away quickly. The only intimate relationship my toothbrush was going to have was the one with my mouth.

I looked over the products, picking things up and touching them, trying to speak the Russian words on all the jars, then opening them and smelling the contents of each one. Every drawer was opened, every object touched, and every openable object opened. Nothing was safe from me. Not even Ivans privacy. I would not only find every flick of dirt he had, but I would do it under the cover of a sweet happy face that was just 'exploring' its new 'home'. It was all a darned perfect happening.

When I was done assaulting Ivan's things and moving them around to different places, I turned around and contemplated what to do next, when I realised I was still prancing around in my soiled pj bottoms. I turned around and was getting ready to hop onto the counter and wash my jammies by hand when another door reflected in the bathroom mirror caught my eye.

It was around the corner, which would have been harder to see if the bathroom mirror had been a normal size, but shurly Ivan wasn't vain. Probably. What really lead my eye to it was my clothes hamper beside the door overfilled with all my dirty clothes. I staggered over to it, almost forgetting about my hurt leg. The bathroom floor was warm and clean. The room was quiet, and the couple of steps I took echoed loudly.

I touched the clothes on top, rubbing them gently between my fingers, remembering my mother. I used to watch her do the laundry, and suddenly I longed to watch her again. Watch her do anything as long as she was near me. As long as she was with me. I wanted to hear her weird deep laugh… The one she did when she was really happy and got the double chin. I held back my tears, knowing that I wouldn't be staying with Ivan much longer, and opened the door.

Sure enough, it was the laundry room. There was a window on the right, letting in the white gleaming light from the world outside, framed by a small lace curtain. The washer and dryer were sleek and new looking, stacked one on top of the other with front opening doors, all in a pretty blue color. Under the window was a table where my cloths sat immaculately folded, and a couple of bottles and boxes of what I could only assume were laundry detergent. I looked at all my clean folded clothes laid out on the table. It was great! I could wash my cloths and take a bath while the machine did all the work! Two birds with one stone!

I slowly undressed, thinking about what my mother would do when she cleaned my dirty clothes as a kid. She would alway spray my grass stains with soap, right? I thought that if I put a little bit of the wet soap directly onto the spot that it would just come out easily. So I did just that. I picked up all the bottles of soap stuff, looking them and their floral patterns over, wondering what one to use and how much of what to put in. I finally decided to use one of the boxes filled with a white powder and a few drops of the liquid stuff so that he wouldn't feel the difference when he picked it up next time.

I laid my jammies out on the table and immaculately applied half a scoop of the white stuff with a few drops of the pink stuff directly onto the crotch of my pants and boxers, not bothering to apply it on the inside, knowing that the water would pick it up and wash it all out later. Then I threw all my cloths into the washer and hit a couple buttons until it started up.

I was so incredibly proud of myself for doing my own laundry that I decided to go through all of the rest of Ivan's stuff in the bathroom, and then take a nice long relaxing bath to celebrate. I went back into the main bath aria to exploder even further. After shutting the door with a rather hard slam, my attention was directed up above me to a long mirror spanning the length of the wall, set at a rather odd angel. You couldn't see anything from it, and I pushed it out of my head after deeming the man who built the house a complete idiot.

There was nothing but magazines on the toilet, so I skipped them and went further in. After you get past the laundry room the place opened up quite a bit, and the view outside was really humbling. It was really weird walking around the room with a limp leg while naked, looking through a strangers stuff. To make the situation even weirder there was huge window for a wall, but considering the fact that no one was around to see… I could see why Ivan liked it. The ability to let your junk out freely in nature with no cops to prance your naked ass home was a really nice change.

The only problem was… There seemed to be no bath or shower. A bit after the toilet the floor just fell away. I was wondering if there was some secret compartment you had to enter to get the the baths when I got a bit closer to and discovered that the floor was there, it was just a lot lower. You had to go down five marble steps just to get down to it, and then there was still no actual bath. There was a tiled round hole in the ground centred in front of the window, which looked remarkably like a bath… Only imbedded into the floor. I mosied on over to it, walking around it a but, looking for a way to start the water, but there were no handles or anything. There was a sheet of metal on the ground, and after a few nudges with my toes I finally got it to flip over. It was actually a lid, and under it was an array of buttons.

I got down on my hands and knees, being mindful of my gimpy leg, and looked intently at them. They were each labeled in russian, but under them was a white piece of tape serving as an 'English' label and a marker. Only a few were actually labled. It was nice that he took the time to do all of that, while leaving a bit of mystery to it all. I was great at puzzles. There was only six buttons in the whole thing, and the only two labeled were 'Hot' and 'Cold'.

I pressed both buttons, yet nothing happened , so I used deductive reasoning to push every single button until something did happened. Eventually cold water started to spill out of the sides of the tub, only to be washed down the drain. I pushed the button next to is, and the water immediately stopped. Obviously these were on and off, but I decided to label then 'YES' and 'NO', just to be a bit of a dick.

Near the window was a plug, and I leaned over to grab it when I saw that the bottom part of the window could be opened. I crawled over to it and undid the latch. The window easily slid over, and cold air rushed into the room. My nether regions protested greatly, and I quickly shut the window, curiosity completely fulfilled.

I threw the plug into the drain and hit the 'YES' and 'Hot' buttons, and soon hot water was filling the deep tub. I got really excited and grabbed my bathroom things, taking a few of Ivan's too. He'd never know if I didn't use much, and they were really nice… So, I took them all to the tub and placed them side by side along the edge of the steaming water.

I dipped my hand into the water and it burned like hell. I figured this was a good time to dumped in half a bottle of lavender scented bubble bath that my mom gave me when I was twelve. She gave it to me for my growing anxiety problems at little meaningless things. After that I hit the 'Cold' button and hoped for the best. When the tub was almost full I eased myself in, my bruised leg first, and felt the overly warm lavender scented water rise over my body. I was hopeing that the scabs on my feet could withstand the heat. When I was touching the bottom I hit the "NO" button and turned the water off. I fully relaxed for the first time in a long while.

I let out a long tired sigh, suddenly feeling overly tired after doing a long twenty or so minutes of absolutely nothing. I imagined Ivan sitting in in the tub, probably in the exact same spot too. His back hugged by the curve of the tub walls, his arm resting on the side next to the panel ready to push any buttons if need be, his head lulling back just a little… Just like mine.

I sat up straight, thinking about just how large Ivan truly was. The water rose up to my neck, but on Ivan it probably only hit his lower chest. I leaned back again, floating and thinking about the mysterious Ivan. What would posses a person to build a house in the woods with a really fancy bathroom? All alone with nothing but bears and Russian winter's to keep you company? That would really suck balls, but if Ivan did it… There must have been and even suckier suck reason behind it all. If he was sain.

I fingered the marble beside the tub, watching as it started to glow from the moving sun behind me, my body casting a long shadow over the frothy bubbles. I looked back up at the room above me, glowing gold with the sunlight reflecting off the walls and floor. The large mirror I had given little thought about was showing reflections of the view outside. Rolling hills and snow dusted sunflowers… The whole room looked like a giant glowing sunflower… It felt like a sunflower… It smelt like a sunflower... I felt like I was in a glowing crystal palace… A crystal palace on fire! Why the fuck was it so fucking hot?

I was pulled from my daze violently, looking over the buttons again to let in a bit of cold water, but realised the tub would over flow. The warm air was causing panic to pool in my gut, which only made me testy.

"What the hell am I thinking!" I yelled angrily. "This place smells like lavender, not sunflowers! Do sunflowers even have a smell?" I slowly got out of the tub, feeling light headed from my unnecessary shouting. "Oh my god why is it so hot." I crawled on my hands and knees and pressed myself against the cold window. The air was hot, humid and smelled like bleach and lavender. My skin was warm and flushed, but my bare back pressing against the glass was cool and growing cooler. I started to fan myself and yelled out to Ivan.

"I know you're not here, but could you please some how turn on an air conditioner? I'm dying here!"

My breathing quickened, and I was growing angrier. I started to yell out curses, cursing Ivan, cursing Guy, cursing my own situation… Then It all hit me… It hit me really hard… I knew that I was assaulted, kidnapped, separated from my family, and taken to another country… But until that moment, when I was sitting in the silence with my naked skin pressed against the glass of a window facing a mountain side, with the air growing hotter and the walls glowing golden, looking at a bathroom I had never seen before… Full of stuff that didn't belong to me… Knowing that my things probably didn't belong to me anymore… I broke. I just… I just started to cry, and once I started I couldn't stop.

My words started to overflow, my feelings became unbearable and I screamed my sorrows into the silence for only the walls to hear. My mother was gone, My father was gone… Heck, I even missed my twin brother who never seemed to be home… He probably didn't miss me anyways. I brought so much trouble to the family… Maybe Ivan was right… Maybe they were glad I was gone… It would be a perfect family with the enigma that was me gone… The realization hurt… Hurt more than anything had ever hurt me before…

It was like someone had taken my heart in their fist and squeezed it, and no matter how much I begged them to stop they wouldn't. They just pulsed it when it shouldn't of been pulsed, grasping it harder and harder until the pain spread over my whole body and my guts threatened to leave if my heart didn't burst first.

So I wailed into the empty house, screamed my hatreds and my sorrows into the humid air until my voice was hoarse and my body trembled. Telling Ivan how much I hated him, how much I hated Guy, how much I missed my family, having my own bed, going to school, the ability to walk... Telling him how much my family really did love me… Telling him how much I didn't believe that… Confiding every inch of my heart break to a man who wasn't there… Sitting in his bathroom crying out the last of the water in my body, with my back against his window, with overly hot air that smelled like chemicals and lavender… And my shame…

I spent what felt like hours crying… Crying until I couldn't talk. Crying until my head broke into a splitting ache. Crying until I wezzed and gasped for breath. Crying until I had to clutch my aching heart and rock myself back and forth… Crying until my nose started to run. Crying until I couldn't cry anymore. And after it all… After I was coming down from the emotional impact... And my breath started to come back… And my body felt lighter… I realised I could just open the window. I realised… That this moment… No. These moments… These kinds of moments… Was what this place was made for. I decided that this place was built for me… That these walls were built as good listeners to help ease me… Even if they weren't, because obviously they weren't, I would pretend they were, and go about my life being endlessly angry at Ivan for not stopping something that had nothing to do with him… For not stopping something he had no idea about.

After a while I was able to calm down. I dipped my hand into the tub and wiped my face with the water, feeling how much cooler it was after all that time had passed... But I opened the window anyways. I sat there for a while, reveling in it's cold feeling on my hot face. The cold air on my hot body… On my hot emotions… Cooling my very being down. When my skin had become as numb as my mind I finally slipped back into the tub, it's waters significantly warmer than the air now.

I opened all of Ivans jar's, used a bit of all his products, mixing them with mine… No. His newest ones. I mixed them with his newest products, and then I used them on my body. I would only be using Ivan's stuff from now on. I would only be using Ivan. Every thing would be Ivan… And I was going to destroy him… I was going to use him, and I was going to use him well... Use him slowly… Because there was nothing else for me to use. There was no other way for me to feel better.

(Hey guys! Feel free to leave a review, say your feelings and what not. Please tell me if you catch any grammar or spelling issues too. Thanks and enjoy as best you can.)