A/N: LOOKIT!!! AN UNDEAD MONKEY!!!
Kioko: You stole that from Pirates of the Carabian didn't you?
Rhea: Shush, shush, shush! They'll never know…O.o
Kioko: (Sighs) - -'''
XP
I didn't bother to put my disguise back on, it was likely Alzik had told Tormal, and also likely that doing so would make him all the more angry. So when Aizira and I walked back into camp…or rather, I walked and had to drag Aizira along behind me, Tormal stood up and gaped openly at me.
"It's true?! I didn't believe it but, you are a woman!" He exclaimed, "But you're so strong! How can you be a woman!?"
"That's no woman, that's the devil incarnate." Alzik snarled. His back was to us and he was sharpening one of his swords, the one he didn't loose in the river.
"Believe it or not you're not the first person to call me that." I told him evenly.
He snorted, "Who was the first?"
"My father." I answered simply. "And trust me, he had a much better reason than you do." He looked at me, but swiftly looked away before I could see the expression on his face.
I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing, "Let me deal with this." I told the other two.
"But—"
"Aizira this is my fault, alright? I didn't join you to tear the three of you apart, I'm not going to just sit back and let you clean up my mess." I told her in an undertone. "I want the both of you to stand over there and don't listen to our conversation. I don't care what happens, don't interfere, okay?"
"But, but if he tries to, to kill you…" Aizira said, looking as though she wanted to start crying again.
"He can't kill me, and I promise you that I won't kill him." I said, "Go on."
They did so, and after a moment to make sure they weren't going to try listening, I walked over to Alzik and stood in front of him. For a moment, we were both silent, I could feel my heart beating, but it quieted down as I watched him sharpening his sword. Finally, I decided that I should be the one to break the silence. "You should know that it was my idea." I lied, "It wasn't Aizira's intention, at first. At first, she honestly thought I was a man, and that became dangerous because, as a woman, I know exactly what other women like to hear and see. I think she was attracted to me at first because I showed her difference and treated her like an equal. However it wasn't long before I decided I had to tell her I was a girl myself. I convinced her that women deserved as much independence as men, and I hold to that statement, I'm not going to back down from it. But it wasn't her idea, so don't hold this against her." I said.
"You are so full of it." He snarled, glaring at me, "I know you're lying, I know that it had to be Aizira's idea in the first place, you're just turning yourself into a scapegoat because you feel guilty."
I crossed my arms over my chest and glared right back at him, "Maybe I am," I said, "Maybe I simply never learned how to handle social situations like these, maybe taking all the blame onto myself is easier, maybe my own life, damaged beyond repair, makes me strive to fix other people's lives because they've got a better chance than me of being happy. Aizira loves you, and you love her, and I don't want to be the cause of your separation, I don't want the two of you to part in anger at the very least. And I don't feel guilty, I am guilty. I'm guilty because there was a better way to handle this situation, I'm guilty because we went too far, because we didn't think you would catch us and that there would be a need for an explanation so soon. I'm guilty of turning you into the butt of an elaborate joke that was meant to teach you a lesson, but which has now backfired on the both of us.
"There are a lot of things in my past that I am guilty of, that I am responsible for, a lot of terrible things that I had no control over. But this time I did have the control, and I messed it up. I'm sorry, it's my fault, and if you want me to leave, I'll leave, but not until I set things right." I said.
"So that's it? You're sorry, you just admit your mistake like that? You're not even going to try and defend yourself? To explain?" He nearly demanded, his face contorting into a look of rage.
"Why? Just so you can have a reason to hate me? You're having a hard time of it, aren't you? You were hoping that I would tell you it was your problem, that I wouldn't own up to my mistakes, just so you could keep hating me. But I'm not and that's what's making you angry. Fine, you want me to explain? I'll explain. I hated the way you tried to take control of Aizira when she asked me to train her in swordplay. I hated the way you said no, as if it were your decision what she did with her life, as if she were your property. I hated the fact that, had she been a boy, this wouldn't have been an issue. I saw myself in her, I saw what I would be feeling if I were her, as if I really were her. And I hated you for it, I wanted you to pay, I wanted you to understand that she was a person, that she has a heart, a soul, a mind, and she has dreams. I hated how you wouldn't let her be who she really was, how you were trying to suppress her, I felt myself choking on the restraints you placed on her, and I wanted to rip them off and turn them right back against you, to see how you might feel under their weight. I hated you, and I wanted to watch you squirm under the weight of those restraints. That good enough for you? Think you can justify your anger with that? Or did you want me to tell you that I'm a crazy messed up sociopath who just wants to tear your family apart so I can have Aizira all to myself?" I asked him.
"YES!!!" He roared, standing up and tossing his sword aside, "YES! I want you to tell me you did it on purpose! I want you to give me a reason that I don't believe for why you did this because I want to hate you! I want to blame you! Because of you, I hit my own sister, I called her a slut because of what I thought was going on!!! I heard you talking, I saw your clothes hanging on the branch, saw the two of you embracing in the pond, what was I suppose to think!? She was crying! Aizira never cries! Ever! That was the first time in years that I've heard her cry! I wanted to kill you! I would have, I would have tried in spite of the fact that you could more than defend yourself against me! I want to protect her, and I want to hate you! I want to hate you so much but you're not making it easy! How can I hate you when you openly admit your guilt!? How can I hate you when you don't even try to defend yourself!? How can I hate you…when you love my sister like she were your own? How can I hate you when you've done everything for her, when you risked your life to come back for her, for us, in spite of Malik's dragon, you came back? How can I hate you when all you wanted was for her to have the freedom that you had, for her to make her own decisions, to find her own path to happiness. How am I suppose to hate you for that? I can't, d(beep)it! I can't!" He turned away from me, unable to look at me, and leaned onto a tree with his face pressed against his crossed arms.
"Alzik, whether you believe me or not, I think of you as a friend, just as I think of Aizira and Tormal. Perhaps not as close a friend as Aizira, but still a friend. That's why I don't want to make this difficult, that's why I'll leave if you want me to, and I'll never come back, even if it means never seeing Aizira again. I don't want to come between the two of you." I told him.
"Friend…" He chuckled wryly, "Tell me, Amon, just what does that word mean to you?" He asked, turning around, an even look in his eye.
I stared into his face, my lips pursed, and said, "A long time ago? That word meant death." I said, and he blinked, clearly thrown by this. "Let me tell you a story, let me tell you what it use to be like for me, then maybe you'll understand just how much that word really means to me, and how painful it once was to even think about."
X3
She was only 8 years old, a little girl with ruby red hair and amber colored eyes. She was sobbing, sobbing out tears which soon mixed with blood, there was a knife in her hand, several more lay around her, bent and broken, or even melted up. Her hand shook, she was covered in blood, her own blood, blood from the wounds all over her body which she had given herself. She was sitting on the kitchen floor, there was so much blood, it was everywhere. There was too much blood, too much to be hers, too much for her to still be alive. But she was alive, she was alive, she was shaking, and she was begging to an entity that no one could see.
"Let me die!!!" She sobbed, driving the new knife in her hand right into her leg with all her strength, and crying out as she did so, "Let me die!!!" She screamed.
"No." Came the answer, an echoing, hissing voice in her mind, a voice like no other, one that chilled to the bone, made your blood run cold. It was the sort of voice that is not meant to be heard by ears, it is simply there, in the mind. Echoing in the dark chambers of a person's own thoughts. "You cannot die, I won't let you."
"IT'S MY BODY!" She shrieked, plunging the knife into her other leg, "I want to die!!! I'm going to die!!!"
"I won't let you."
"It's my fault! It's because of me! Those people are all dead because of me! Everyone's so afraid because of me! If I died, they would go too! It would stop! If I died it would stop! Please, please let me die!!!"
"If you die, I go with you, child. You can bleed all you like, I will make more blood to replace that which you lost. You can drive your knives into vital parts of your body, I will repair them and make them whole again. You can poison yourself, I will make you immune, you can drown yourself, I will give you the ability to breathe under water. You are going to live, Kaida, whether you want to or not. So try to make the most of it." The voice said.
"I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!"
"I'm not too fond of you either, but I need you alive, so just deal with it."
Kaida screamed, sobbing and throwing her knives around. She slipped on her own blood and fell in her attempts to get out of the kitchen. She just sat there and screamed, and cried, and cried.
"Kaida, what the hell!?" Demanded a woman at the door. The woman's face resembled that of her daughter's, but her hair and eyes were both black, and she was very pretty. She wore a yellow sun dress, as well as a disgusted expression on her face as she looked at her once-clean kitchen, "Another mess!" She huffed irritably, walking straight past her bleeding daughter to find the mop, "Another hour of cleaning, just where did you get all of this?!" She demanded, not even looking at the child.
"Mommy, it's my blood!" Kaida cried.
"Fine, fine, whatever, go play outside. Go on, get out, and don't track it on the carpet, use the back door." She ordered, shoving Kaida towards the door with her mop.
"But, but I don't want to go outside!" Kaida exclaimed, looking terrified.
"Out." The woman pointed.
Kaida screamed and flung herself out the door into the back yard. Not caring anymore, not caring who heard her, who saw her, she couldn't stand it, she couldn't take it.
What had she expected? That her own mother might actually care that her daughter was trying to kill herself? No, not at all, she was just disappointed that Kaida didn't succeed. Would she tell her husband? Would she even care enough to bother? To her it was just a messy kitchen, no big deal, nothing a bit of cleaning wouldn't cure. Just send the child outside, she wouldn't be back for a while.
She never came back until she had to.
The fence was easy to kick open, and Kaida was out on the streets once more. She began to run, run away from the residential areas, away from people, from neighbors that might look out their window and see this little girl, bleeding like mad, scrambling towards the city lights.
Towards the danger.
I want to die. She told herself firmly, I want to die, if I want to die, I don't have to be afraid to die, I want to die, I want to die. Let them kill me, let her kill me, like she wants to so much.
"It's pointless, Kaida, don't even bother." She ignored the voice, she had to. She couldn't take this anymore, she didn't want to live anymore! Three years, for three years she'd wanted to die, even before she really understood what death was, she'd wanted to die, to make it stop, to make them stop.
The city loomed over her like some gargantuan creature, ready to swallow her. The people were doing their best to keep the pace as normal as possible, to continue living in spite of the threat that caused them to live in fear. Only glances followed her as she ran through the streets, the stopped traffic, not even the law enforcement bothered to investigate the fact that she was covered in blood, they were too busy watching out for them.
They liked to hang in the alleyways when they weren't active, that's where they would be, that's where she would finally make it stop.
"Hey!" A voice called. She ignored it, "Wait, no! Don't go that way! Hey! Stop, stop you're bleeding, you're hurt!!! Someone help!" She kept running.
She ran until she came to a dead end, thinking she might have lost the owner of the voice, but when she turned around to find another way, there he was, a boy no older than 13, panting from the exertion of following her. "We have, to get you, to a hospital!" He exclaimed, reaching out for her, "Come on, I know the quickest way, let me carry you on my back."
"Don't touch me!" Kaida screamed, jumping away from his hand. The boy blinked.
"It's fine, I don't mind getting blood on my—"
"Get away from me! Leave me alone!" She exclaimed.
"But you're hurt! Where did all that blood come from!? You have to tell someone what happened to you!"
"Leave me alone!" She shrieked, trying to run past him, but he caught her up in his arms, "NO! STOP IT! LET GO OF ME DON'T TOUCH ME LET GO LET GO!!!" She screamed, struggling and crying to get out of his arms.
"I'm just trying to help!" He exclaimed.
"LET ME GO!!!"
"No! I'm going to help you whether you like it or not! We're going to the hospital!"
"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I WANT TO DIE, I WANT TO DIE, I WANT TO DIE!!! LET ME GO!!!" She screamed, finally managing to slip out of his arms and run away from him.
"Wait! No! Someone stop her! Stop her she's going to kill herself!!!" He yelled, running after her.
"Leave me alone! No one cares, and you'd better stop caring to or you'll die right along with me!" She exclaimed.
"You don't have to die!!!" He said, managing to tackle her to the ground and hold her down in spite of her screaming and wailing. "So stop that! Stop screaming! I just want to help, so let me! Death isn't the answer! Neither of us have to die!"
She continued to struggle, but eventually her strength gave out, and she simply sobbed, unable to get out of the boy's firm grip. He though he was holding her in a comforting position, but all she wanted was for him to just let her go, to stop touching her. She hated it, she couldn't stand it, why couldn't he stop touching her!?
"Tell me why you want to die."
"I just want it to stop!" She sobbed, "I want it to go away, I want all the nightmares to stop, I want them to stop!"
"There's nothing you can do, okay? Killing yourself won't accomplish anything. I know it's hard, but you can't just give up like this, we're all fighting to keep on living. If we all just gave up, there would be no reason for us to still be here. They would win. Don't you see? You can't just give up!" He insisted.
"But…it hurts so much…it's so hard…I just want it to end." She murmured into his shoulder.
"Let's get to a hospital." He said, standing up and carrying her, "Okay?" She nodded, and he smiled at her. "My name is Alex Parker, by the way. What's yours?"
"Kaida…my name is Kaida Megowan." She answered softly.
"Kaida? That's cute! Do you know what it means?" He asked.
"It's, it's Japanese, it means 'Little Dragon'." She answered, smiling up at him.
"Awwww, how cute! Such a sweet little boy." Cooed a voice that made both of them freeze, and pale.
From out of the opening to the alleyway, a figure of a woman stepped out. Her long hair left only one bulging eye visible, a long, small body improperly proportioned was clothed with black rags, her skin was gray, like death, and her hands…they were huge, they were twice the size of her head, her fingers were like long claws, like daggers with joints.
It was one of them.
"Hold on." The boy whispered, and he ran. He ducked beneath the fatal swipe of the demon, the girl held tightly in his arms, and he ran as fast as his legs would carry him, as fast as he could with Kaida in his arms. He wasn't so much bigger than her, and he wasn't so strong that he could hold her for this long, but he refused to put her down, he kept going, not looking back, only forward.
"Come back sweet thing! Come baaaaaaack!" The woman figure cackled, coming after them.
"They're here!" Alex shouted when he managed to get out of the alley way, "The demons are here! Run!" He screamed, and panic erupted in the streets.
Then the rest of them came out, having taken Alex's warning as an invitation, the world became dark with their presence, and they began to wreck havoc upon the world once again.
"We have to hide." Alex panted, finding a dark corner and sitting down to catch his breath.
"I'll stay here, you go on without me." Kaida said, hoping he would leave her now.
"No way!" He snapped, "I'm not leaving you alone!"
"That's sweet, and so cute." The woman said, appearing at the only exit, blocking their way out. "Such a gallant young man, Dear Kaida, you have found your knight in shining armor at last." She chuckled.
"No! Leave him alone! Please, Kaltmet, it's me you want! Let him go he was just trying to help!" Kaida begged, tears in her eyes.
"Kaida, run! Get out of here!" Alex exclaimed, pulling a dagger from his hip. He charged at Kaltmet, but she laughed and threw him aside. She placed one clawed finger on his chest where his heart was, keeping him down.
"No! Leave him alone! Leave him alone!" Kaida screamed, pouncing on Kaltmet, but she knocked her back as well.
"Afraid I can't do that, Kaida. He's so cute, I want to hear him scream, I'll bet it's adorable. Want to listen? You really don't have a choice." Kaltmet cooed.
"No!"
"Kaida run! Just run! Don't watch!" Alex yelled.
She tried, but another demon had appeared, and grabbed hold of her. "Y-y-you!" Kaida exclaimed, her heart stopping as she stared up at the black-eyed face of Monigan.
The demon smiled at her, and turned her around to face Kaltmet and Alex, "This is what happens, Kaida." She whispered sinisterly, taking the girl by the hair and forcing her to watch, "This is what happens to your friends, this is what happens to everyone you care about. He's going to suffer, Kaida, and it will be your fault. It's all your fault. All the fear, all the suffering, all the pain that this world is experiencing at our hands? It's your fault, it's because you are alive, because you were born. Watch, Kaida, and see."
Kaltmet laughed as Kaida sobbed, and she drew a line across the boy's chest, and then another from the center of that line on down, blood flowing freely. Alex began to scream and struggle, Kaida screamed too, and Kaltmet began to pull back the flesh, exposing bear muscle. She did it slowly, and somehow she made sure to keep him alive, alive so that he could experience the pain, so that he would continue screaming until she eventually carved his very heart out of his chest.
X3
"Is that…is that the sort of thing that…that all summoners go through? Is that what happens to you?"
"No, that's not what happens to summoners, because I am not a summoner. You only find people like me one in every hundred or so worlds. These beings? They're not summoned creatures, they're my inner demons. They're monsters that were born from my one negative energies, from my own mind. And when I was a child, I didn't know how to control them, they were in control, many of them wanted me to die, but there was always that one, the most powerful of them all, who refused to let me. Who went out of her way to make sure I didn't. That's how my life use to be like, day in and day out. How could my parents allow themselves to care about me when it would only mean death? But now that I am in control, now that they can no longer harm me, can no longer harm anyone else, I'm free to have friends. The problem is that, for a long time, I didn't know how. All I knew of friendship is from books and stories, nothing more.
"And then I met my fiancé, typical romantic little story there. He became the first person I could ever really call friend without being afraid. His cousin became the second, and Aizira is the third. A friend means more to me than you can possibly imagine." I told him.
He couldn't look at me, we sat in silence for a while, all throughout the story he had been staring at me, transfixed, as though he were watching something horrific happening and he wanted to look away, but until now he simply couldn't. Eventually, he broke the silence, "Amon, or rather, Kaida…I'm sorry."
"What?"
"I completely misjudged you. From the very beginning I have misjudged you. You were always too…too good to be true. You were a kind person, you had gone out of your way to help Aizira, you went out of your way to do anything you could to help with the actual luggage, you even groomed Bano without us even asking you to. You worked hard for us, and the entire time I somehow got the feeling that you weren't going to take our money for it. I thought there was an ulterior motive, that there was something else you were going to take from us instead. I didn't trust you, but now I realize that you were honest. I'm sorry. You're the sort of woman I know Aizira will aspire to, and I suddenly realize that I don't have a problem with that whatsoever. It seems almost impossible that you could have gone through that hell, and still come out with such a noble spirit. I feel so ashamed of myself, can you forgive me?" He asked.
"So far as I'm concerned, Alzik, you didn't do anything that a concerned brother wouldn't do, and so far as I can tell, you are neither to blame, nor is there anything for me to forgive. I didn't not present a very trustable face to you, no pun intended, and you had every right to be suspicious." I answered.
Alzik looked into my eyes, and smiled, I smiled back, "Your fiancé is a lucky man, but I don't envy him for the mistakes he's likely to make, and the beatings he's going to get for them." He said, and I started laughing.
"Well, well, well, what a touching little scene this is. Too bad it has to end, Empress." Said a familiar voice, a voice which caused the blood to drain from my face, for my eyes to widen, and to spin around, blades extended, to see the owner, even though I already knew who it had to be, even though I knew that voice.
"Shahdee." I murmured, and she started laughing.
XP
Kaida: O.o, WHAT THE CRAP!?!?
Prince: WHERE DID SHE COME FROM SHE'S SUPPOSE TO BE DEAD!!!
Rhea: Wouldn't YOU like to know!? Heheheheheheh.
Aizira: Who is she?
Kaida: You'll find out soon enough.
Rhea: FAQ time! Who wants it? (Everyone raises hand) Why do I even bother asking?
DP: Let me do it, I haven't been in this story at all! Fork it over!!!
Rhea: Okay, okay, you can do it! Sheesh!
Q: So what was the deal with the story?!
A: Don't know, don't care.
Rhea: Oh for the love of—I thought it'd be a nice touch for Kaida to really open up to Alzik, to help him understand her better.
Q: What is Shahdee doing there!?
A: No idea, ask her.
Rhea: NOT TELLING!!! Wait till the next chapter!
Q: When will the Prince and Dark Prince be in the story?
A: Hmph, not soon enough.
Rhea: It will be a while I'm afraid, I've got quite a bit of stuff planned out here, so it may take a few more chapters. Well, that's all for now!
Kioko: R&R and all that crap.