Luna Loud was furious.

Sitting up in bed, her arms and legs crossed, she glared into space, her anger like a ball of gnashing teeth in her chest. She glanced at Luan's bed and thought of all the times her sister had laid there on her side, staring at the wall and sighing heavily, and her rage intensified. Luan was so miserable for so long, Lincoln too, and it was because their parents broke them up? Sure, she thought siblings kissing and fucking was kind of gross, but to be honest, she thought eating another woman's pussy was pretty gross; that didn't mean she felt any differently about Lynn. Hey, if that's what you're into, go for it.

Man. All that time. All that pain.

Everyone knew they were suffering. It became commonplace, something that no one talked about because there was nothing that could be done about it; neither Lincoln nor Luan wanted to open up. For the longest time she didn't understand, but now she did. They were probably afraid their sisters would be bitches like their mother.

And their father. He wasn't innocent either.

All that time...and it was something as simple as letting them be together. How could their mother watch them suffer like that for three fucking years and know all the time that she could cure it with a couple words and a nod? Luna couldn't blame her mother for not liking the relationship and maybe for trying to break it up in the beginning, hoping they'd get over it, but when it became apparent that they weren't getting over it, she should have stepped off. Luna would have. Jesus, three years of constant depression. Three years of crying. Three years of aching to be with the one you loved, but not being able to...only to have to face them every time you went to eat your dinner, or to get in the car, or even walked out of your fucking bedroom. No wonder Lincoln and Luan spent so much time in bed: It probably killed them to cross each other's paths.

That would explain why they rarely even looked at each other.

She didn't blame them for leaving. In fact, she was happy for them. They were together and probably smiling ear-to-ear.

What she wouldn't give to see it; she'd forgotten what their smiles looked like.

A knock came at the door, and she turned her head. "Yeah?"

It opened, and dad peeked his head in. Luna looked away. She was mad, but she knew she couldn't stay mad at him if she looked at him, and he didn't deserve her not being mad at him.

"Hey, honey," he said hesitantly.

She ignored him.

"Look," he sighed as he came over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I know you're mad at me and your mother. We..." he glanced away. "We're mad at us too. I just don't want you to be too hard on your mother. She tried her best and now she's going out of her mind with worry."

"How could you guys let them suffer like that for three years?" she asked, still not looking at him.

Her words twisted like a knife in his heart, and nothing that came to mind could answer her. "I don't know," he said. "We fucked up. Pure and simple."

Luna couldn't help look at him; she'd never heard him use that word. He was staring down at his hands, which were clasped in his lap. He looked miserable, and Luna's anger drained away just like she knew it would.

"I'm sorry," she said, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. "I just...you know, I sat here for three years watching Luan in pain. Every night she'd lay on her side and stare at the wall. Like she had no hope. No reason to live. And she'd cry too."

Her father nodded, sucking in his lips and fighting back tears.

"It killed me."

"I know," he whispered.

He deserved to be in pain. Still, Luna leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"We didn't what to do," he confided. "They already...had sex. It wasn't a crush or puppy love. It was...more serious. We just...what we could we do? We were lost."

"You guys could have done something. Let them go on dates or something, I dunno. It was so hard seeing them so depressed."

"I know. It was hard on me too. And your mother. We messed up. You're right. We could have allowed them something."

He sighed and patted her hand. "But things are going to be different," he promised. "When we bring them home."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "Your mother told me she wouldn't keep them apart anymore. If they want to be with each other, we won't get in their way."

Luna smiled. "Good."

He looked at her and smiled wanly. "I love you, Luna. You know that, right? You guys mean everything to me and your mom."

"You guys mean everything to us, too," she said and hugged him.

"I have to make a phone call," he said, patting her leg and getting up.

Luna cocked her head. "To who?"

"A private investigator. Your mother and I don't want to call the police, so we're going to hire someone."

At the door, Luna stopped him. "Are we grounded?" Luna asked.

"No," he said over his shoulder. "Just...be easy on mom, okay?"

"I will."

"Thank you."

After he left, she laid back against her pillow and stared up at the ceiling, a mixture of emotions going through her. Fear. Anger. Sadness. God, what were Lincoln and Luan going to do out there? Where would they go? They were kids still! Lincoln wasn't even fifteen, and Luan wouldn't be eighteen for another two months. She hoped they were okay. She hoped they managed somehow, and she hoped that if dad was serious about things being "different" they would come home. She already missed them so much it ached.

Lynn Loud met Amber Paulson, the girl she had been with since she was thirteen, at the end of Amber's street. It was a warm, sunny day, and Amber was dressed in a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt, her dirty blonde hair hanging down to just below her ears and her clear blue eyes sparkling. When she saw Lynn, a smile touched her pouty lips, and for a brief moment, Lynn was able to forget the events of that morning.

"Well," Amber said, putting her hands on her fleshy hips, "if it isn't Lynn Loud in the flesh. What took you so long, Lynn? Trip over your own feet and break something again?"

Six months ago, Lynn tripped on the way to school and broke her ankle. Amber tormented her about it now, but when it happened, she was almost in tears, rubbing Lynn's face and asking if she was okay, shaking and near hysteria. Lynn didn't have the heart to make fun of her for it, mainly because it touched Lynn so deeply.

"No," Lynn sighed.

"Uh-oh," Amber said, sobering. "I know that look. What's wrong?"

She wrapped her arms around Lynn's waist and looked into her eyes. They searched Lynn's soul, pooled with love and concern, and Lynn's heart swelled. "My brother and my sister ran away."

"They what?"

Lynn nodded.

"Which sister?"

"Luan."

Over the past three years, Amber had been to the Loud house enough to know all the siblings on a personal level. All except Lincoln and Luan. They were both always alone in their rooms when Amber came over, and for a while she thought they didn't like her and disapproved of her relationship with their sister.

"Why?" she asked.

"They – " Lynn started, but stopped. "I shouldn't say. It's private."

Amber nodded. "Alright. I respect that." She leaned in and kissed the tip of Lynn's freckled nose. "But I don't respect you on the football field."

"Fuck you, bitch," Lynn laughed as she pulled away.

Amber grabbed her arm and yanked her back. "You want to? I wasn't planning on it, but if you insist..."

"Get out of here," Lynn said. "I have a headache."

"Oh, yeah?" Amber laughed. "You're such a girl."

"Am not!"

They were walking toward the park now. Full green trees lined the way, their leaves rustling in the warm pre-summer breeze.

"Are too. You're a total girl."

"Pffft. Look who's talking. You're the girl in this relationship." Lynn crossed her eyes and did her best impression of Amber. "'Look at me, I wear make-up and thongs, Dur, dur, dur.'"

Amber shoved her. "You're an asshole."

"It's true."

Amber shrugged. "Okay. Don't ask me to eat you out later. If I'm such a girl, I'll go find a dick to suck and you can find yourself a 300 pound bull dyke."

Lynn's face crinkled and Amber laughed. "You don't want a biker mama with tattoos and a wallet chain?"

"Uh, no."

"Cargo shorts? Hiking boots?"

"Don't worry about what I want, just go suck on your nasty penis."

They crossed the street and entered the park. A bunch of teenagers were throwing a Frisbee in a wide, grassy field while, closer to the street, kids climbed over playground equipment.

"You've never wondered what a dick would feel like?" Amber asked.

"No," Lynn said, though, to be honest, she had. A lot like a vibrator, she imagined. Then again, a dick wasn't plastic and cold, it was fleshy and warm. She didn't particularly like the thought of looking at one, or touching it (and putting it in her mouth – ugh), but maybe, just maybe...

"I have," Amber said. "You know, just to see what it's like."

"Well, go jump one of those Frisbee guys. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

"Probably not," Amber agreed.

From the field, they followed a path to a stand of pine trees. Most of the park was crisscrossed with bike and pedestrian trails which wound through the steep hills rolling along the park's eastern flank. Every Saturday, Lynn and Amber would hike the paths partly because Amber enjoyed nature, and partly so they could spend time together. On most Saturdays, they had lunch at the Taste-E-Freeze on Park Street afterwards, and sometimes they capped the day off by seeing a movie at the Marquee. It was a comforting ritual they had established long ago and rarely deviated from. 'A relationship needs consistency' Amber said once.

Lynn turned Amber's words over in her mind, an inexplicable twinge in her heart. She imagined her girlfriend, the girl she loved, with a dick in her hand, and shuddered.

Am I not enough? Lynn found herself wondering, and her stomach twisted.

"Y-You're serious about it?" Lynn asked, speaking for the first time in five minutes. They were following a narrow path flanked by trees and dense undergrowth.

"Yeah, kind of," Amber said causally. "Something new. You know, the experience. I mean, come on, you've never thought of it? Really?"

Lynn shrugged. "Not seriously."

Amber jabbed her elbow into Lynn's ribs. "Don't be like that, Loud. You know I love you."

"I love you too," Lynn said, rubbing her bruised side.

Amber took Lynn's hand and threaded her fingers through Lynn's. When she spoke, her tone was serious. "If it bothers you, don't worry about it. But...I mean...if you want to try it..."

Lynn looked at her. "Fucking a guy?"

"Yeah."

Lynn thought about it for a minute. It actually did kind of bother her to think of Amber with someone else, man or woman. She started to say so, but stopped. She didn't want to look jealous: Amber once told her about an ex of hers who was insanely jealous and how she hated it, and Lynn vowed never to be like that. Still...

"If you want to..." Lynn said noncommittally.

"Well, it's up to you. I mean, it's like skydiving. I'd like to try it, but I'll die happy if I don't."

"Yeah."

They rounded a bend, and Lynn walked into someone coming down the trail in the opposite direction. Literally. She jumped a foot.

"Whoa, sorry!" Clyde McBride said. When he saw Lynn, he smiled. "Hey, Lynn! How's it going?"

"You scared the shit out of me, Clyde," Lynn said angrily.

"Sorry," he said, "you kind of scared me too."

Once upon a time, Clyde was Lincoln's best friend. Then, after Lincoln and Luan got weird, they drifted apart. Clyde stopped coming over and Lincoln stopped going to Clyde's. Lynn saw him every once in a while at school. He was taller than he had been three years ago, but looked much the same: Gangly, goofy, and four-eyed.

"Yeah, well, watch where you're going."

"Sure," he said, "sorry." He nodded and brushed past them, disappearing around the bend.

"You know him?" Amber asked.

"Yeah, he's friends with Linc."

"Hm."

Lynn looked at her. "What?"

"Nothing," Amber said.

Lynn's brows furrowed, then she realized what Amber meant. "Oh, God, Clyde?"

Amber shrugged. "Why not?"

"He's...he's a dork!"

"Yeah, but wouldn't that make you feel better? If we did some guy neither of us had any chance of actually, like, being attracted to or falling in love with? That's what you're worried about, right? That some guy's going to steal me from you?"

"No!" Lynn said too quickly.

Amber grinned. "You're cute when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous," Lynn said with a blush. "If you wanna fuck Clyde, fuck Clyde."

"I'm not interested in Clyde," Amber said as they started walking again, "I'm interested in Clyde's dick."

Lynn scrunched her lips and tried to imagine her and Amber fucking Clyde. It wasn't a pretty sight. But it wasn't about that, right? It was about trying something new.

"Do you really want to fuck Clyde McBride?" Lynn asked.

Amber shrugged. "You wanna try dick, right?"

"Kind of," Lynn said, and that wasn't entirely a lie.

"Well, there you go."

Lynn sighed. "Alright. We'll fuck Clyde."

Amber laughed. "You know that old song? I really like it. It's called "Hey, Jealousy.""

Lynn shook her head. "You're a bitch."

"Love you too," Amber said, and pecked Lynn on the cheek.

You can't trust anyone.

Leni Loud frowned in the mirror over her dresser. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was drawn. Her normally shiny hair was wan and lusterless, her skin the color of ash.

You can't trust anyone, the voice repeated in her ear. She lifted her hand as if to brush it away, but of course, there was nothing there.

Shaking her head and sighing, she unscrewed the cap and shook a small white pill into her hand. She popped it into her mouth and followed it with a drink of water, the plastic bottle crinkling in her unsteady hand. In the mirror, her roommate, Kristy Johnson, was searching through their shared closet for something to wear.

She's stealing your clothes.

No she's not. I told her to take something. She has a date.

Unlike you.

The voice cackled mean-spiritedly, and Leni had to bite her lower lip lest she reply to it. She knew it was in her head...but that didn't mean she didn't respond to it sometimes.

It came only when she skipped her medication, and that afternoon when she dragged herself out of bed, the voice whispering into her ear, she realized she'd skipped two doses. Thank God it was just the voice and not weird thought patterns, because when it was weird thought patterns, she was a goner; when her thinking was funny, she didn't have the presence of mind to even take her meds, and her illness fed on itself until she disappeared down the rabbit-hole. That had only happened once, shortly before she left home: She missed two doses like she did now, but instead of the voice, she woke up certain that her sisters were out to get her. She barricaded her door and wouldn't come out until the police came...then they took her to the hospital. She totes did not want that to happen again.

"Oooh, this is cute," Kristy said. In the mirror she held a black dress to her chest. Kirsty was tall with a slim figure, long black hair, and blue eyes. It did look good on her. "Take it," Leni croaked.

Kristy tossed the dress onto her bed and came over. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," Leni said.

"Awww, honey," Kristy said, squeezing Leni's shoulders, "it's his loss."

Leni nodded at her reflection. The loser in question was Dave Benson, who Leni had been seeing for close to six months. A burly football player for Chicago Tech with curly blonde hair, Dave was – or so Leni thought – the perfect guy. Funny, smart, charming. Then, the other day, she went over to the frat house to surprise him and found him sucking some skank's face on the couch.

You can't trust anyone.

She'd never been so heartbroken in her life, even over Lincoln (she couldn't remember much of that. She thought it hurt, but she knew this hurt). She was so depressed that she couldn't even get out of bed, hence why she'd missed two doses of her medication; though she took it every day, she completely and totally forgot about it.

"I know," Leni said, "that doesn't make it any easier."

"You should get out," Kristy said. "Go to a club and meet someone else. Bring him back here and fuck his brains out."

That shocked a laugh from Leni. "I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

You're fat, ugly, stupid, gay...

Leni frowned. "Because I don't like clubs." That wasn't entirely a lie. She didn't. Every once in a while she would go to one, but the loud music and pushy horndogs really made it unenjoyable. And if she was there too long, even full of medication, she started feeling like everyone was watching her, plotting...

"Do one of his frat brothers."

"I'm not 'doing' anyone," Leni said.

"Well, if you change your mind, I might know some guys."

"I'll think about it," Leni said, knowing she wouldn't.

After Kristy left, Leni took another drink of water and studied her reflection some more. At least she had going home tomorrow to look forward to, she couldn't wait to see everyone. Though the Chicago School of Design had been Leni's dream since she was a little girl, she often found herself so homesick she'd drop out in a heartbeat if she could. She couldn't, though. She was so close to being finished. Then, after that...a career. She didn't know doing what exactly. You had to start small and work your way up in the fashion industry. She'd probably get someone's coffee for three or four years before even really breaking in, but that was okay, because just being in the biz was a dream come true.

But she dreamed of going home a lot too, of being fifteen or sixteen again and being surrounded by her family. How she missed those days. Sometimes she wanted to go back to them so badly it hurt.

Time doesn't work that way, though. It move forward, always forward.

Your family's going to kill you.

"Shut the fuck up," Leni told her reflection and stood. "Asshole."

She was hungry. Maybe she'd eat. There was a little deli she liked near the park that had the best roast beef.

Poisoned.

"Just ignore it, Leni. Ignore it."

Acid sandwiches.

Sigh.

The joys of mental illness.