Kakashi knocked on the door. For some reason, no one answered it. So, he grasped the doorknob and turned…
To find fifteen people sitting on the floor, on the couch, and at the table, slurping up ramen. Kakashi and Iruka blinked, puzzled.
"My eternal rival!" Gai greeted, "Welcome to our …ramen luncheon! Have you already had lunch? Maybe you should like some ramen, we have bought extra!"
"No, those are supposed to be my emergency ramen!" Naruto protested.
"Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei! What are you two doing here?" Sakura asked.
"I came over to talk to Naruto about something," Kakashi replied. Naruto paled.
"Eh, um, if it's about that one thing about the water bucket on top of your doorway, I'm really sorry," he stuttered. Iruka was the one who got mad though.
"NARUTO, YOU DID WHAT?!!!!"
"Eee! Uh, Sasuke told me to!" the blond cried, and earned a smack from his male teammate.
"Dobe, only you would think of such a lame prank as that," the Uchiha retorted. Naruto puffed his cheeks out.
"Hey, I'm the one who thought of th—nmph?!!"
Suddenly, Sakura, Sasuke, and the other few people who were sitting near Naruto quickly clapped their hands over his mouth. The ones farther away just looked nervously between Naruto and the two visitors, sparking up suspicion.
"Thought of what?" Iruka asked in a stern tone, meaning he wanted an answer, and he wanted it now. There was silence, and nobody moved, or hardly breathed. Certainly not Naruto, for he began to wriggle around, and shoved the people off of him.
"You people don't have to suffocate me!" he whined. Sakura and Sasuke landed hard on their rear, and the other people flew off to various places. One of them landed on the remote control to the TV. The idiot box instantly turned on to a frozen image. There was another silence, and this time nobody dared to breathe at all, even if they all were capable. Iruka and Kakashi looked long and carefully. (a/n: It. Was. Porn. Dun dun dun….no, I was just kidding.)
"…isn't that Kakashi? And that…one woman?" (a/n: that'd be really really freaky porn. Because porn is already really freaky. Charli: Stop talking about porn then.)
There were various and assorted "er's," "um's," "eh's," "no's," and "maybe's".
Meanwhile, thoughts raced through Kakashi's head like a speedy kunai. How did they get a videotape of that? There was a camera? But why would there be a camera? Oh crap, they must have seen the whole thing! They're never going to let me live it down! What do I do what do I do what should I do? Calm down, Kakashi. Think rationally. WHAT IS THERE TO THINK?! Did I feed Pakkun this morning? He always demands five star quality steaks. I CAN'T AFFORD FIVE STAR QUALITY STEAK EVERYDAY!!! I'M A NINJA DAM— OW!
Kakashi rubbed the stinging spot on his arm where Iruka pinched him. Iruka was a master at pinching. It always got the victim's attention.
"So, uh, Naruto. Care to explain how you got ahold of that…video?" Kakashi asked meekly. Iruka's pinch really hurt.
Sakura clapped a hand over his mouth again, and said nervously, "Um, well, it's this uh, really funny movie we rented and, um, it stars this man who looks a LOT like Kakashi-sensei, but it isn't really Kakashi-sensei, you know, and uh—EW!"
Sakura quickly withdrew her hand, as if it had been licked, because it was, and wiped it on a napkin she had nearby.
"Okay, Kakashi-sensei, what really happened was this:" Naruto took a deep breath. "IthoughtofthisjokewhereItaughtGenmaandHayatemycoolSexyJutsuandthenwe'dputupthiscamerathingsomewhereandthey'dbewomenandtrytohitonyouandstuffandwejustreallywantedtoseehowyou'dreactandstuffandthenweplannedtopostitonthiswebsitecalledyoutubeand—" he took another deep breath. "Yeah…"
The people in the room groaned, except for Iruka and Kakashi, who were baffled by how fast Naruto could talk and how everyone else seemed to understand what he said (hence them groaning).
"Um, come again?" Iruka inquired.
"Alright you guys just tell them," Genma sighed.
"Long story cut short, the brat ("Hag!") thought of a prank that we all agreed would be hilarious to try," Tsunade said. Anko picked up from there.
"We assigned Genma and Hayate to be the two women ("I taught them my Sexy Jutsu!" "Shut up, Naruto!") because we thought it'd be funnier than having two real women do it, and it was. I mean really, not even for Hatake Kakashi would a woman put a smothering amount of perfume on her."
"Hm, hm!" Jiraiya agreed. "Not very attractive to have a bubble of perfume clouding the pretty face!"
"Well, we apologize for not knowing how to properly apply cosmetics and perfume," Genma growled.
"Genma, that seriously stunk," Hayate coughed, remembering what it was like.
"As if you were any better!"
"At least he could still breathe!-cough- Couldn't you, Hatake?"
"Um…"
"So then we saw you walking along and we put a camera up ahead in a tree and when you came around the corner, Genma and Hayate, as women, were supposed to ambush, er I mean, approach you and stuff. And then we'd get the whole video and we were going to put it on this website called 'youtube' or something."
There, the whole story was out.
"So…the two women aren't real. They were just Hayate and Genma?" Kakashi asked. They nodded. Kakashi's visible eye curved upward.
"Well, now I won't have to think of a solution to that problem!" he said happily. But I still need to find a solution to how I can get five star quality steaks for Pakkun everyday, or whenever he's around. Which is nearly everyday.
"So now the secret is out," Gai said, "Kakashi! Have some ramen! You need to fuel up for our upcoming challenge: Who Can Knit The Most Scarves In Ten Minutes!"
Kakashi sweatdropped.
"Um, well, I already had lunch with Iruka," Kakashi said. He didn't bother to try and get out of the ridiculous challenge. Gai would have been too persistent.
"Wait a minute, you had lunch with Iruka?" Anko asked.
"I believe I said that, yes…?"
"WERE YOU TWO ON A DATE?!!"
"No."
"W-what makes you think that, Anko-san?"
"Well, it's not like Kakashi eats lunch with just anyone."
"I've taken Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura to ramen before…"
"-gasp-PEDOPHILE?!!"
-sweatdrop-
"NO."
Cough, er, yeah, very strange way to end the story… And this probably sucked, because I wanted to wrap it up as fast but explanatory as I could. I'm sorry. Maybe I might rewrite it.