Ed Edd n Eddy
Future ShockED
Chapter 5
The Eds had survived a very twisted ride on the river down into the cavern.
"That horrific ride was like that devilish rocket car track." said Double D, wringing out his hat, as his friends looked away.
"Ha ha, we named it the Yellow Devil's Ride, didn't we?" said Ed, looking at the chicken he had rescued.
"Geez, the writer's paying me double for this!" said Eddy, with his friends giving him a confused look. "What? Never heard of breaking the fourth wall before?"
"If the Gourd and his minions don't kill us, and we get back to our time, we're putting you in therapy, Eddy…" said Double D.
"Well, at least we're out of there alive." said Ed. "Along with my feathery friend."
"Yeah, and you care about a flea-bitten BIRD!" shouted Eddy.
"Gentlemen, we have to find our way out of this cave." said Double D, pointing to the dank, dark caverns, with various metal junk everywhere.
"I bet we could sell all this junk for a mountain of jawbreakers!" said Eddy, pulling out three metal oars.
"Ugh, everyone grab an oar and paddle." Double D said, as his friends did what they were told.
They paddled up the underground river, passing the domain of Blue, the Cyber Plank. His robotic red eyes glared at the heroes as they went past.
Ed watched the chicken, lying unconscious as he paddled with his oar in the half of the hoverbus. He looked at its feet, and saw that they had suction pads underneath the tips of the toes.
He stared at them, mystified.
"Hey guys, my feathery friend is mutating!" he shouted, holding the chicken by his legs.
"We don't have time for your over reactive imagination, Ed, just keep paddling." said Double D.
"But…" said Ed.
"You heard Sockhead, Lumpy, get paddling!" shouted Eddy. His yell broke a stalactite and made it fall. It barely missed Eddy's oar.
"And you stop should quiet down, someone could be in here…" Double D whispered, looking around and keeping his gun near him.
"I believe you, chicken." said Ed, putting his pet down and continuing to paddle.
Later, back at Blue's hideout, the metal kraken slithered into the water, hunting for the Eds.
Back on the bus, The Eds were having no luck trying to pinpoint the exit of the cave.
"Geez, what's taking ya, Double D?" Eddy complained.
"You can't rush this sort of thing, Eddy." replied Double D. "We have to take into consideration the current and the location of the exit."
"I'm dying from listening to you." Eddy said back. "You know that?"
"Details are important, Eddy. If it wasn't for them, some of your scams would have failed miserably!" Double D replied angrily.
"Hey, who said you could yell at me?" Eddy roared.
"I did!" Double D yelled back. The two of them started to argue.
"Stop!" Ed shouted, but his two friends didn't listen.
"Stay out of it, Ed!" Eddy shouted. "I'm trying to tell Sockhead who's the leader here!"
"Oh, chicken, what must I do to help us all survive this futuristic domain?" Ed whined, talking to his pet.
Meanwhile, Blue was hunting. He saw a rectangular object on the surface from his underwater route. It was the hoverbus.
"Ha ha haagh!" He laughed in a robotic voice. "Targets have been sighted!"
One of his eyes had a camera in it, a camera that took footage from the robot to the Gourd's lair. The Gourd sat in his throne with his gourd-mask on his head, and was wearing his costume that had flaps between the arms and legs, which allowed him to fly. He was watching the Eds through Blue's eyes.
"Blue, status report." he said.
"Targets have been sighted, proceeding to kill them." Blue replied through his built-in headset.
"Don't kill them." Gourd said. "If you do, we can't turn their future selves into our minions."
"Affirmative." Blue replied. "Proceeding to capture them. Blue out." The Gourd's monitor turned off, and he turned his attention to a mysterious machine, with a ticking noise coming from a clock on the top of it. The Gourd angrily stared at it, waiting for the ticking noise to stop.
"I can't stand the suspense!" he complained. "When will this be finished? Come on, hurry up! Almost there, almost there…" He then heard a tinging noise that killed the ticking of the machine. "At last! My ROFLBURRITO is finally ready! This MegaMicrowave needs a bit more tuning!"
Meanwhile, back on the hoverbus, Ed and his pet mutant chicken watched as his two friends quarrelled.
"Why won't they stop this?" Ed continued, "We mustn't fight in this brutal universe!"
"Ugh, I think we should listen to Ed." Double D said. "If we are to survive this apocalyptic world, we have to work together."
"I suppose you're right, Lumpy." Eddy said, turning to Ed.
Suddenly, Blue burst out of the water with a roar.
"Oh my!" Double D yelled, as Blue barely missed his neck. He jumped onto the boat, planning the sink it down, and store the Eds in his tentacles.
"Come to Bluaaaarrrggghhh!" he roared in pain, as Ed's pet chicken attacked him and destroyed one of his eyes.
"Baccarrk!" the chicken screeched scratching at Blue's paint.
"Get off me, you feathered rebel!" he roared before the chicken leapt off of him and back on the boat.
"Nice moves, chicken." said Ed.
"You think a little bird can defeat me?" Blue roared. "This isn't over…" he added, as he sank back into the depths.
"It must have been the chemicals in the river." said Double D. "It must have mutated this chicken."
"See, I told you guys!" replied Ed.
"Yeah, yeah, we got a chicken to protect us, whoop-de-doo." Eddy rudely interrupted. "Let's just get outta this dump!"
Suddenly, the chicken started to grow, evolve. It gained a human posture and grew a little bit bigger. Its brown feathers became blue and its skin became green. Its wings formed little hands and its beak grew teeth. The result was unimaginable. It started to move its jaws as if it was talking but it just made clucking noises, except for the middle part…
"Cluck, cluck, clalk a little bit about my rejuvenating breath of sentience. I think my upbringing has vast opportunities for the nearest future. When you introduce toxic materials with the compound Mutatus Rioxide, to genetic material such as mine, you get interesting and surprising consequences."
"Wow, a chicken's smarter than you Double D." giggled Eddy, jabbing Double D in the side with his elbow, but Double D ignored it and gasped in awe.
"So you're interested in the possibilities of rapid evolution through exposure to certain chemical mixtures." He said.
"Yes indeed, and that duplicitous, larcenous contraption deserved that beating I gave him. I sure hope he doesn't come back. My name is…well, I don't have a name."
"Let's just call you Eddd." said Eddy. "Or Triple D."
"Seems reasonable." Eddd said. "What do the folk around refer you as?"
"Ed." said Ed.
"Edd or Double D" said Double D.
"Eddy, the most awesome kid on the street, chicken boy!"
"Pleased to make your acquaintances, Ed, Edd and Chicken Boy." Eddd said as he shook the Eds' hands.
"What?" Eddy yelled.
"Don't mind him Triple D, he's always like that." said Double D. "Always avaricious and rapacious."
"You're asking for it, aren't you?" said Eddy.
"Look, land in sight!" Eddd said, pointing to an exit to the cave.
"Let's go!" yelled Ed. The team jumped out of the boat and ran towards the exit. Just then, Eddy was caught by a metal tentacle, belonging to Blue, who had come back for revenge.
"Help me out here, guys!" he yelled, throwing Gamma Bombs that the metallic beast.
"Give me that mutant chicken and little Eddy doesn't get hurt!" Blue chuckled as only a robot could.
"Why, you diabolical, defective and destructive machinery!" said Eddd, ripping off one of Blue's tentacles not in use and whipping him with it, breaking his other eye, blinding him. He let go of Eddy, and stumbled around.
"Where'd you little pests go?" he roared. "Now I've got you!" He whipped a rock holding up a huge boulder, causing the boulder to crush him under its weight. "Aaaaarrrggghhh!" Just then, a little golden micro-chip flew right into Double D's hands.
"I'll keep this." he said. "Could be useful."
Meanwhile, in a barren desert, the Peach Creek Force had just defeated Yellow and captured his micro-chip, much to the dismay of the Kankers.
"Give it up, Kankers!" Kevin shouted. "There's nowhere to run."
"You may have beaten Yellow but he's not the only one." said Lee. "Three of the Cyber-Plank captains remain."
"Marie, get us outta here!" shouted May, punching Marie in the head.
"Alright, alright, keep your snow on!" Marie said angrily, as she turned into a green blob that engulfed the Kankers, and flew off into the sky to find Green, the master of the swamplands.
"I hope the Eds are still alive." said Sarah.
"I'm wondering if it was a good idea to get the Eds' past selves involved in this mess." Nazz said, as she turned herself into a jeep to transport the heroes across the desert.
"Don't worry, Nazz." replied Kevin. "I can feel that the Eds haven't lost hope." The heroes drove off into the sunset.
"I'm counting on them!"