Kamikaze Moogle

Chapter Five

Ah, hot water felt good. Actually, any water felt good. A mother-fucking shower felt good. Even before flung into the Final Fantasy reality, Thorn had felt due for a shower. Now, Thorn thought of herself as a fairly clean person. Maybe she didn't wash her hands every time she went to the bathroom, but she did when it mattered, and she liked to bathe pretty much every day, although she often slipped and ended up doing it every other day. Some people thought that was disgusting. Thorn had a very blasé approach to cleanliness, actually.

But by this point, it was getting ridiculous. She hadn't gone this long without a shower since she was eight and at summer camp—during which the showers all broke and refused to work other than to spew black water for a week and a half. Two days in the woods and another two on an airship—everyone had been too tense to even think to offer the choice to bathe during that time—made five days straight without a shower. And Thorn felt gross. Her hair was oily, her skin saturated and flaking at the same time from having not been washed, and worst of all, her teeth had a gritty, slick feel when she ran her tongue over them. Gross.

Thorn sighed as she leaned against the stall shower wall. She just stood there for a moment before she got a move on. She knew others were waiting for the shower as well, and Thorn really didn't want to be the bitch who hogged the shower on top of being the crazy Sephy-fied kid. No one liked the bitch who hogged the shower. Not cool. She set about her hair first, and thankfully it was short.

Some minutes later, the short teenager was out of the shower, towel wrapped carefully around her torso in a kind of white terry cloth dress type thing that ended around her upper calves. Thorn had almost decided against changing her clothes while still in the bathroom, but reconsidered when she thought about the sheer number of fictional characters were hanging around—and the idea of Cid possibly seeing her in a towel dress was enough to deter her from walking the short distance between the bathroom and the room she would be staying in.

Tifa, as annoyingly kind as she was, had insisted on washing her dirty clothes, and after some deliberation on the matter, it had eventually been Yuffie who lent her some clothes. The eighteen-year-old ninja was surprisingly close to Thorn's size in most respects, though Thorn was rather sturdier than the lean young woman looked. However, this particular style of clothing wasn't really Thorn's.

Her eyes roved disparagingly over what she found herself wearing minutes later, her short brown hair a towel-dried mess. Yuffie appeared only to own shorts, because here she stood in a pair of black cut-offs and a gray sleeveless top. Cut-offs… What the hell. Whatever.

After gathering what little she had brought with her to the bathroom that she wasn't already wearing, she opened the bathroom door. As no one was currently waiting right outside, she called through the upstairs portion of Seventh Heaven.

"BATHROOM'S FREEEEEE!" The result was instantaneous.

"MY TURN!" bellowed a female voice. Yuffie came flying up the stairs in seconds, almost as quickly as Thorn had when Lily had done with the shower. Thorn dodged the eighteen-year-old, narrowly avoiding being run over by someone much slimmer than herself. She managed to make her way back to the room she had been assigned.

Thorn's eyes swept the room, finally landing on her best friend. Owing to the fact that many people were now staying in upstairs Seventh Heaven, the two teenagers had to share a room. It wasn't that big of a deal; the bed was large, and they had shared a smaller one before when sleeping at each other's houses when futons were not available. In fact, Thorn thought to herself, after taking in the room and the balcony outside, the room was larger than both of theirs.

Wait, no. My room's big now… Thorn had to remind herself. She and her mother had just recently moved into a much larger house than the one they had lived in for the last nine years. The fourteen-year-old kept having to tell herself that no, she most certainly did not live in a one-bedroom cottage any longer with her mom, four cats, and a demonic macaw. Amusing almost. She had not lived there for a week, and here she might never see any of it—or them back at home—again. Thorn forced her thoughts away from this matter, though.

It was nighttime now. They had arrived at Seventh Heaven about a day and change after the little conversation involving the resident angst-maniac, Tifa, and Yuffie. By this point everyone had gotten his or her go at a shower, leaving Thorn in particular feeling especially refreshed. Thorn and Lily had been chilling out in the room they shared since they'd gotten there, when they heard a knock on the door.

"Mmm?" Thorn said out of habit. The only person who ever really knocked at her door consistently in her life was her mother, and this was what she normally said to indicate someone could enter.

Tifa opened the door and entered. The maternal woman smiled at them as warmly as possible, though Thorn could see an edge of worry in her eyes, chased into the corners by general kindness. For all many people within the extent of fandom ragged on and on about Tifa being too into Cloud or too romantic or too big-boobed or whatever it was, she really did care, even about annoying teenagers who show up in remote areas. Thorn could see it.

"Hey, you two. Dinner's about ready downstairs, just so you know. Come on down when you're ready." She turned to go, but Thorn and Lily were already at her heels.

"We're coming," Thorn said, not having realized how hungry she was. She caught the sight of a small smile tugging at Tifa's lips, and knew that the woman did not resent her. Well, that much was good. Judging by the fact that in Advent Children Tifa had owned Loz and that Cloud hadn't, Tifa was stronger with them fists than Cloud with his oversized sword.

The closed sign was the first thing that caught Thorn's eye as they entered the closed bar that they were using as a dining room. The rest of AVALANCHE was already there, though not seated. With a glance, Tifa hooked Cloud into pushing together about four tables for her, and they each found a seat. It ended up that Cloud and Vincent wound up taking opposite heads of the table. Tifa wound up between Cloud and Cid. An unsuspecting Thorn found herself sandwiched between Barret, Marlene, and Denzel (the two younger children being squished hard enough together to count as one person on a bench-like seat on one end of the table. The experience was scarring to say the least. What was worse was the fact that Lily was sitting calmly at Vincent's left, was looking at Thorn as though she were putting all her efforts into not laughing. Thorn cast a death glare in her direction.

Yuffie was grinning at everyone. She apparently had no qualms over where she was sitting. Like Lily, the shinobi was sitting next to Vincent, only at his right instead of left, and was casually trying to push silverware up his sleeve. Her mission was being interrupted repeatedly as Vincent gave his wrist routine flicks to deflect Yuffie's fork's path. However, every time she failed, Yuffie stuck out her tongue at him and tried again.

Finally the actual eating part started, and Denzel and Marlene were forced to give Thorn some more room to unplaster herself from Barret's side. Traumatized, Thorn shuddered and took a plate of potatoes offered to her by a grudgingly unresentful looking Cloud with a grateful nod.

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Dinner had been eaten, small children had been put to bed, and the booze had come out. Thankfully, it had not taken much talking to convince the adults that Lily and Thorn were beyond the age of being sent to bed. Thorn was now glaring at Yuffie with jealousy blazing in her eyes. Yuffie, at eightteen, had finally managed to surpass Tifa's firm no-alcohol-for-minors rule and was downing sake like a vampire guzzles blood.

"But Tifa, just lemme have some! I've got alcohol tolerance up the ass! All I want is some beer! No hard shit!" Thorn's words were having no effect on the busty woman, so Thorn crossed her arms and sulked, muttering something that sounded very much like "stupid, big-boobed cop of a bartender."

"I don't even like any of that crap," said Lily, shrugging. "Besides, you, my thorny little Chicken, do not need any real intoxicants. Sugar has a frightening enough effect on you." Thorn growled sulkily, but then brightened unexpectedly as Tifa and Barrett's backs both turned at exactly the right moment, and she stole an expertly taken sip of beer from Barret's can. A slow grin spread over the fourteen-year-old's face.

"You are incorrigible," said Lily.

"Proud of it, babe," replied Thorn. At that moment everyone was distracted by the sound of a sharp knocking on the glass part of the closed bar's door. Thorn saw Lily's eyes move, but couldn't bring her own to. Perhaps she was too lazy? She felt Lily's hand on her chin, and allowed her head to swivel to look at who was asking to be let in.

Reno. Rude. Rufus. And Tseng.

"Hey, it's the idiots!" burst out Yuffie, suddenly becoming much louder in the space of seconds. The explanation for this was found in what looked like at least seven small bottles of sake gathered around her place at the shiny bar counter. "Let 'em in, boobs!" Thorn's eyes slid with interest over a red ponytail, shades, flash of blue eyes, and a quirk of a dark brow. Her eyes picked out only specific details of the four men—she didn't even think of Elena, the Lady Turk.

Tifa obliged, saying in a voice that sounded like it went with a teasing smile (Thorn couldn't tell because Tifa's back was to her again, and she took another opportunity to sneak a sip of beer,) "We're closed, you know…"

"Well, y'all look like you're partying it up real good anyhow, yo." It was Reno's voice, and he was in the door as soon as half the room needed was available. Without warning a small shuriken was chucked haphazardly his way by the drunken ninja nearby him. Reno dodged the thing easily (apparently Yuffie's aim deteriorated when she was drunk) and proceeded to inform Tifa that she ought to "drag her cleavaged carcass" (this term earning him a slap to the back of the head by a passing Rude) "over here to give him some tequila". Tifa slapped his ear and supplied the wanted shotglass full of hard liquor.

I want somma that… Thorn thought. She knew better than to try and get between the famous Reno and his booze, however. At that moment, the four newcomers seemed to realize that she and Lily were both young and unknown to them.

"Little irr'sponsible, ain't it? Drinkin' 'round kids, yo," Reno said, "who're they, anyway?"

"Thorn and Lily," Lily supplied, gawking at the redhead Turk. She cast a glance Thorn's way that read, Not a bishi boat. A bishi BAR.

Rufus and Tseng, both opting for the formal procedure, took turns shaking hands with Thorn and Lily. Thorn shook both the attractive men's hands firmly, resisting the pressing urge to spaz out of control at just how pretty Rufus Shinra really was. Almost as pretty as Vinny. No, no one was as pretty as Vinny.

Bad fangirl, she snapped at herself. Rude merely cast a glance at the pair of them, before accepting the glass of dark beer offered to him by Tifa. Rude and Vincent appeared to share a look. However, Vincent then went back to his…

BEER?! Thorn thought, looking in shock at the beer bottle in Vincent's human hand. And it wasn't the only one. Vincent had silently and unobtrusively killed six beers already, and no visible change to his demeanor. God DAMN.

"So, what are all of you doing here? And where's Elena?" asked Tifa, with a slight tilt of her head. It wasn't every day that the male population of the Turks and the president of Shinra paid them a visit. In fact, neither group had spoken to the other since Sephiroth's resurrection. Rude said nothing. Reno shrugged.

"Ever'where else was closed, yo. An' no one likes us enough these days to let us in after hours."

"We all just thought," Rufus said, (and from the way he said we, Thorn knew he meant I) "that it might be nice to drop by and say hello to the double-saviors of the world." Eh, sounded like a shitty reason, but Thorn wasn't complaining.

"Elena is not feeling well," said Tseng.

Yuffie, who seemed to be getting bored of sake, had now pilfered a bottle of the same tequila Reno was drinking and was guzzling it while running wildly around. The strange thing was that she was now trying to resume her previous mission to stuff silverware up Vincent's sleeve. However, this time she seemed to forget the presence of his claw and did not try for the correct arm. This resulted in a repeated screeching and scraping noise, which Vincent only dispelled by finally snatching the cheese spreader out of Yuffie's hands and dropping it into one of his empty beer bottles. Then he resumed drinking.

Rufus had accepted a glass of wine, and was sipping it with an amused expression on his face. Lily was watching with even more amusement as she counted, and realized that she would more than likely very soon be the only sober one left, except maybe Tifa. Reno was already boozed up, and kept trying to grope Tifa and make it look like the accidental result of reaching for the tequila bottle. Tifa merely swatted his hand away repeatedly, while Cloud smoldered away in jealousy and anger at the Turk as he killed a large glass mug of light beer. Thorn, who Tifa seemed to have given up on, was only about a fifth as psycho as she usually was after being exposed to sugar, which was pretty good, seeing as she had probably drunk more of Barret's beer than Barret had.

Reno seemed to realize that his pursuits with Tifa were a lost cause, because soon enough, he and Yuffie were sitting on the floor together arms wrapped over shoulders and sharing a bottle of tequila.

"Forty-nine Honeybeeees on th'wall! Forty-nine Ho-neybees! Take one down, pass 'er around…" Reno never reached the end of this song, because Yuffie promptly emptied the rest of the bottle they had been sharing on his head, then smacked him heartily.

"Moron Turk!" she cried, hiccuping.

Lily found her way to Thorn through the insanity of a drunken bunch of AVALANCHE members and Turks. Thorn grinned.

"Hey Lil!" she said. Lily resolved that Thorn was not pissed drunk, which was a good thing, and spoke.

"Thorn," she said, in a low voice. "I think maybe you should try talking to Cloud. He doesn't seem drunk yet, but he might be a little easier to talk to with the hinges a little greased up." Thorn glanced over at the spiky-headed blonde, who was so far not participating in the activities of intoxicated fellows, and nodded.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Thorn hopped off the bar stool she sat on, and crossed over to where Cloud sat mostly alone.

"Cloud?" she said tentatively to get his attention. The pseudo-ex-SOLDIER looked up, blue eyes locking onto brown ones in a manner that indicated to Thorn that the warrior was completely sober in his entirety.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened," she said, rather lamely. Something shifted behind Cloud's azure eyes, though Thorn could not tell whether she was heading in a good or bad direction. "I dunno what was going on..." Cloud stared evenly at her for a moment, and Thorn bit her lip. Finally, he broke the painful silence.

"It's okay," he said, taking a sip of his newly-filled stein and shrugging. "Not your fault, I guess…" When he looked back at her, Thorn noticed that Cloud's gaze had softened slightly. Not much, but it was a bit kinder than it had been before. Considering her mission accomplished, Thorn gave a small grin and walked off. Well. That had gone surprisingly well. She sat down in her previously occupied bar stool, only to turn and see Vincent staring unfathomably at her from where she sat. When his crimson gaze did not deter, Thorn stood up and drew closer.

"Vincent? Y'alright?" she said, trying to see what exactly was wrong with him. Vincent did not reply, merely stared with a deadened expression. Thorn looked over at the clock; it was about one in the morning by this point. Her eyes counted at least a dozen empty beer bottles in front of him.

Suddenly and without warning, Vincent's eyes closed and he fell forward out of his seat and right into Thorn. She let out a slight grunt of surprise, knees buckling under the man's weight. Vincent could have been heavier, but he was definitely heavy enough for Thorn's fourteen-year-old taste. It took most of her strength to hold the unconscious man up, and she couldn't even think about pushing him back onto his stool.

"Hey, someone help me out here!" she said loudly. "Vincent went an' passed out!" No one responded; they were all either too drunk to notice or busy with other pursuits. Lily found Thorn, however, and promptly burst out laughing at the sight of Thorn holding up Vincent Valentine by hooking her arms under his armpits.

"I'm not even gonna ask what you two were doing when he passed out," said Lily, still laughing.

"Aw, shuddup ya perv," said Thorn. "Everyone else's too boozed up. Help me carry 'im up to his room." Chuckling still, Lily came and helped Thorn shift Vincent's weight so that Thorn carried him by the shoulders, and Lily was holding his ankles. Both nearly tripped over the unconscious man's cloak several times as they went up the stairs, cursing vehemently as they went.

"Why am I suddenly getting many ideas of what we could do to this guy and record it for later use?" said Thorn, chuckling as well now as they neared Vincent's room (he was one of the few who had gotten a room all to himself.)

"Eh. He'd probably wake up the second we came near him with any supplies or a camera," said Lily. Thorn agreed. Finally, they left Vincent lying on top of his bed covers. After a moment's consideration, they decided not to remove his cloak for him and exited the room as quickly as possible.

"Damn. Sad to miss an opportunity for blackmail like that," said Thorn, sighing.

"Too true, too true," replied Lily.