Ask Luffy? Or Sanji?
Part 12
Neon: DAMN IT!! LOOK AT OUR RATINGS!! IT ALL DROPPED!!! SANJI-SAN!! YOU DID THIS!!
Sanji: Oh shut up. I know its my fault, and now I owe all the people who post on this column a million apologies…
Luffy: Welcome to the new edition of Ask… LUFFY!!!
Sanji: OI!! ITS STILL MY COLUMN!! BAGERRO!!
Drake: let him. Youre still pooped out to answer, right?
Sanji: SHUT YOUR HOLE, ASS!! I CAN ANSWER NOW!! I was just… depressed yesterday…
Neon: well? Lets get on with this!! First off, OVL-Chan. um for Sanji.
Ohiyo Sanji-kun! I'm back!
Ooh, I've been a horrible commenter! I keep forgetting to send you my comments. :( . me sad. Anyway, my friend has moved on! Not only from Zoro, but she was so fed up... she went to another manga. But she still loves one piece. Heehee. Her new crush is... Uchiha Sasuke. Another pretty boy.
Nyah! I can tell this isn't gonna end well. But hey, anything can happen right. And my friend is just as dark and ... unamused as he is! Wait...wait! I have to stop her! Sasuke is paired off with Naruto. I can't let her disrupt the SasuNaru-ness!!
- Bye my love! I must visit Konoha and stop her before it's too late! -kisses Sanji's cheek- bye bye.
Dear OVL-Chan,
That's okay, OVL-chan! im always here to answer! And Uchiha Sasuke? Tsk! Zoro is better than him!! GO AND STOP HER!! (even though I hate o'l Platypus…)
Mellorine!! Mellorine!! Go and stop her OVL-Chan!!
-Sanji-Kun
Drake: uh-oh! We've got an angry fan girl!! SkZs-Chan!!
Sanji: tsk… I'm really gonna be dropped like crap…
WHAT!! I asked all those flipping questions for nothing!! 30 flipping questions that took me nearly 2 hours to make. Oh ho ho so I was right the entire time, Sanji did like Takono-chan better than me. And here I am second on the list of favorite fangirls, what am I the fruit you get when they run out of freaking pudding!! And I was soo freaking excited about Sanji answering the questions today. I'm not mad that he likes Takono-chan more, o no that'd be too selfish, I stand for the rest of us fangirls. HE LIED. Maybe I'm just crazy, I don't know, but when you say everyone is equal your suppose to mean it. That's it, I refuse to review at all after this until he apologizes to everyone. That's all.
- Sincerely, SKZS
Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan (I still call you this even if you're mad),
Okay! Okay! Calm down!! Look. I really apologize! Im sorry!! Look, I don't want to hurt anyone anymore… and even if you're second on the list, does not mean you're the second I liked most. No. as I said the last time, I liked Takono-Chan better, BUT. It also means I like you better too. Why? I STILL TREAT MY FANGIRLS EQUALLY EVEN THOUGH I LIKE SOMEONE BETTER… and it means, Takono-Chan and the rest are still equal, no matter what happens… try to understand, SkZs-Chan… hope you will… and as compensation, im gonna answer your questions… just don't be mad, I still like you… and here goes…
Sanji-kun
I have no idea how I'm going to get 30 questions done. I had a hard enough time going for 20. Oh well, it's worth it. I managed to draw a picture of you last night (and Zoro marimo person but that was because I never draw him) It turned out really nice, it doesn't look like the way Oda-sensei draws you cause I have a style but I like it. Anways of course I'll race you! I'm probably going to lose but hey, that's okay your older and probably 100 times stronger. Plus your a guy.
Questions!
1. Do you think that this far into the series, that you'd be able to beat all of the guys that you've fought before by yourself. For example Arlong or Krieg.
2.Do you have any jealously towards men that are famous like Orlando Bloom?
3. You know you are super skinny, is that because of the time you were starved nearly to death?
4. You are the one, the one that lies close to me. Whipsers hello, I miss you quite terribly...lalala oh wait I was suppose to ask a question... hmm whats your favorite song? (Here in your arms, HelloGoodbye)
5. I just realized that most of the questions I asked, have been asked before. Ha I'm so stupid.
6.You know that episode recap of your past made me cry, I don't cry ever.
7. You whats the weirdess thing ever? I started liking you because Zoro was taken! Ha, we were watching the amercian version of One Piece, my sister asked me which one I thought was hot. Right when I was about to say 'The Green Guy' she said" The guy with green hair is really hot, whats his name?" I was depressed until I remembered a guy with blonde hair (you)from a comercial and I said " So, the guy with blonde hair is hotter." She obviously had no idea who i was talking about. It was funny I never knew your name cause we were only in the Buggy arc. So you were known as the guy who did that spinny kick in the intro until the Baratie arc. Then I was in love, ha that brings back memories.
8. Now that I think about it, I'm glad I like you better. Marimo is mean.
9. Okay I need to stop ranting on and on about things, Umm did you really stay on that carved up rock for 85 days, thats what the book said.
10. Who's taller Marimo or you, your drawn taller than him in the anime. But it's the opposite in manga.
11. About question 11 last time, you weren't telling ME to work out and go on a diet. Were you? (evil eye)
12. Have you noticed a lot of the famous bands or singers come from Canada? Like Three Days Grace, Nickelback, Avril Laviene (don't ask me how to spell that)
13. Do you have a quote? Like mine is, " Nothing can hold back tears of pain, not even waterproof mascara" I made that up by the way.
14. The guy who stalking me and Alyssa is named Decker. What kind of name is that?
15. (smacks forehead) You are a cannon character Sanji-kun! You were orginally made by Oda Sensei! OC's are characters made by authors...I give up!
16. You know one reason why I love you? You can cook really well, I'm not allowed near the stove cause I can't cook toast. There is always something I screw up when I comes to cooking.
17. Okay I just read Smallstream's review to you, now I'm sad. I don't even know her and I'm depressed.
18. Okay focuss!! Holy crap I have 12 more to go! Why can't you just ask me questions?!
19. Have you ever broken anything? Like seriously broke something? Arm? Leg? I haven't it's kinda sad, I sort of want to know how it feels.
20. Do you believe in karma, I do cause it happens to me and everyone I know! Like once, Alyssa was making fun of her mom for falling down the stairs and breaking her tail bone. Well Two weeks later she fell on ice and broke her tail bone.
21. Are you emotional like Franky, just curious.
22. Speaking of Franky, don't you ever wish he'd put some pants on?
23. I can't think of anything!! (pretends to shoot self)Are you ever jealous of Zoro's ambition?
24. There is nothing behind that hair of yours besides an eye and another curly eyebrow, right?
25. Do all of your boxers have hearts on them?
26. Why does the amount of swirls always change when you do different expressions?
27. Do you ever have second thoughts about liking Nami, ever?
28. Do you ever find your self gawking over american models like Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie?
29. What's your favorite dish to cook?
30. Okay last question! Do you like just plain Black Tea or flavored?
Okay thats it! I can't do this anymore, I'm limiting myself to 15 a day now. That took nearly an hour and a half. Oh well, since I asked you so many questions I deserve a kiss or something.
Love, SKZS
Dearest my Beloved SkZs-Chan,
Sigh!! Hope you raise it to 50!! BUT!! In the same time, im gonna ask you questions!! I know its hard asking 30, but, im gonna ask you too since you ask me to ask you, ehe. Okay! Youre on!! But I'll take it easy on you, or I'll burn up the pool coz I swim too fast!! AHEM!! My answers…
1)tsk! I can beat them up now! I have my Diable Jambe and my other new kicks! But Luffy killed Krieg and Arlong does not yearn for a fight… but if I had another chance, I'd take it, SkZs-Chan
2)sort of… Orlando Bloom? The one on the movie POC3? (Pirates of the Caribbean 3) yeah, sometimes I think hes better with the ladies than I am…
3) um… how'd you guess? Mellorine!! So smart!! Mellorine!!
4) AWW!! Sing it again!! That's a cute song!! Any slowpace song is nice, SkZs-Chan…
5) No! youre not stupid! Youre smart! Mellorine!!
6) aww, someone out there actually cares for me… that's so sweet!! Mellorine!! Mellorine!!
7) haah!! I love those memories, SkZs-Chan… that's also the time I became popular… but yours is quite interesting, though. Hehe. since I am seen in a commercial… Mellorine!
8) HE IS MEAN!! O'l Platypus does not care about anybody but only cares about (mimics Zoro's voice) " I wanna be the greatest swordsman" "Im gonna beat Mihawk" "that's the promise I made to my friend" tsk! Even my voice pretending to be him is worse! Glad you love me, SkZs-Chan!! Mellorine!! Mellorine!!
9) approximately 85, SkZs-Chan. you, have you been isolated or something similar to that?
10) Im taller! Which do you believe better?! A TV show or a book full of paper?! And DAMN YOU ODA-SAMA!! IM SUPPOSED TO BE TALLER!!
11) um… I WAS telling you! Don't glare at me like that! I swear!! Who else I was talking to the last time? Drake-San? Luffy? No!! only you, SkZs-Chan!!
12) yeah I did. And the spelling of Avril's name is Avril Lavigne. Hehe, no person is perfect, SkZs-Chan!
13) yeah, my favorite quote is "Mellorine!" and yours Is very interesting! Tell me why tears cant be held back even by a water proof mascara?
14) okay, that's it, this Decker guy is a dead man. And I thought Mr. 2's name was weirder…
15) WAHH!! Don't be mad, SkZs-Chan!! I was just testing you! I knew what It means!! Im just kidding!!
16) yep, one of my best talents, cooking! Glad you love that! Other people just love my curly-brow and my bangs, but what you have to like better is the persons Talent!! Um. Do you have any other than cooking? And If you suck at cooking, I can help you out!
17) don't be, SkZs-Chan, im sure Keisha-Chan is doing fine now…
18) I have a question!! Do you like the way I "Mellorine!" ??
19) I got a few cramps on my leg, but im used to it… you did you have any? If you did, just please take care next time, I don't want any of my fan girls to be hurt…
20) o.O wow, now I believe in karma!
21) sometimes. But im LESSER than Franky.
22) I already told him to!! WTF is he not wearing the pants I gave him?!
23) why should I be jealous?! I don't want to be a greatest person in the world! I just want to see All-Blue… you, SkZs-Chan? whats your ambition?
24) hehe, you guessed it right! So Smart!! Mellorine!
25) no, I have many different boxers. Like the one im wearing now, full of flowers! (NOT LITERALLY!!) beautiful flowers!
26) swirls? Whats that?
27) NEVER!! Why should I have?
28) P-Paris H-Hilton… (drools)
29) I think you asked this twice… but I'd gladly answer it again! All of my dishes I like, so all of them are my favorite. You, SkZs-Chan? what was your first dish you cooked?
30) flavored. I really hate black tea. You, SkZs-Chan, what kind of tea do you like?
Hehe, I want you to try to ask 35. THEN I'll give you a kiss… hehe…
-your Beloved Sanji-Kun
P.S. I hope you're happy… im really sorry SkZs-Chan… forgive me…
Drake: whoa! I was about to sleep!
Sanji: quit your yapping and whats the next letter!!
Drake: Shinzo… I mean Kurry-Chan.
dear sanji,
HEYY!!its evil K-chan the master of chickns here!
1.ace is sexier than you (yes it is me, shinzomating!!)
2. does sexi no jutsu PLEASE SAY ACE IS SEXIER THAN U!!
3. takono stares at u in the shower!evil grin!!
-evil K-chan master of chickns (we love cluckie from naruto abridged)
Dear Kurry-Chan.
You're starting to annoy me here…
1)NO!! HE ISNT HOTTER THAN ME!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S HOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!! HE'S NOT!!
2) (looks away) NO HE IS STILL NOT…
3) DON'T HURT TAKONO-CHAN'S FEELINGS!!
-from the annoyed, Sanji-Kun
Drake: hahahaha!! I have to admit, Shinzo-Chan is pretty funny!! Look what she did to Luffy!!
Luffy: (nose bleed) I s-saw something… bad…
Sanji: tsk! Im not falling for that trick! I remember when we visited Konoha, that Naruto guy did it to me and that's what happened!!
Drake: HAHA!! I can imagine you like that!!
Sanji: SHUT UP and hand me the next letter!!
Argh... so many i missed you takano-chan... dizzy
luffy are you still there? yo!
ero-cook, i hate you... am i the first to tell you that? i like haramaki! WHEE! (random) BUNNIES WILL PWN YOU ERO-COOK! THEY WILL!
ahem... here luffy meat!
but ero-cook, i like your food so can you cook some for me? (oh yea BTW i'm a girl... just in case the name fools you to think i'm a guy...)... and i use kicks too... i bruised alot of people with my kicks and punches... bye luffy! oh and ero-cook...
Dear 3PK-Chan (nice nick)
Luffy: hai!!
Sanji: my very first Hater…
Drake: acknowledge her! Shes your first!!
Sanji: this ones worser than Kurry-Chan…
Luffy: ARIGATOU!! HAHA!! MEAT!! IM STARVED!!
Calling me ero-cook will not convince me to cook food for you. Be nice and I'll give you my best… and I use kicks better than you. Do you know how to use Diable Jambe? I don't think so…
Luffy: BYE!! THANKS FOR THE MEAT!!
Sanji: tsk.
-Sanji and Luffy
Drake: chill, Sanji-San! Shes your first hater!! That's cool!!
Sanji: well, yeah, I guess, not all CC's have fans… haters as well. And you know what? Im beginning to feel the pain what Zoro is experiencing in his Column…
Luffy: She's nice! Chomp!
Sanji: stow it, Luffy. Who's next?
Drake: we got another angry one here!
WAH!! Poor Sanji-kun!! There's no way Takono hates you!! Never EVER!! Now I will do my best to cheer you up okay?
I love you!! So does Takono!
Stop sulking or I'll kick your ass! When your all sad I just wanna kick you!
Zoro is way cooler than you. He wouldn't cry like that. You could learn something from him. Geez your such a pansy sometimes.
Oh I'm sorry I'm supposed to make you feel better... I'm not really good at this so be grateful I'm even trying!
-pats you on the head- It's gunna be okay. I swear on a volume of One Piece manga.
If you don't get happy all your fangirls will be sad too... even the ones you treat less equally. jerk.
You know what now that I think about it... You deserve this! I hope that you get beaten up by all of you unequal fangirls. kicks you in the gut
Stupid jerk.
Love Zo-chan
Dear Zo-Chan
… um… I have no words on this… but I know im a pansy, I know its my shitty fault. Fine, Zoro is cooler than me, and ALL THE INSULTS YOU GIVE ME, im going to take it in and thorw it away. (receives kick)(but blocks it) let them hurt me. Its my fault anyway… AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA CHEER ME UP?!
Fine, im going to be nice and happy, but if and only IF I say sorry to all my fangirsl. AND THEY ARE STILL BEING TREATED EQUALLY, NO MATTER WHAT!!
Thank you.
-Sanji
Sanji: the insults hurt, but… tsk. I really have to make it all up for it…
Drake: …
Luffy: (still eating)
Drake: next, Keisha-Chan.
Dear Sanji-kun,
Great.Good job Sanji.You broke poor Takano-chan's heart.Tsk tsk,and I thought you were nice.You won't see me on Ask Sanji very much anymore.One last question Sanji,why'd you do it?Think about your actions ero-cook.Maybe less hearts'll get broken.
-Keisha-Chan
Dearest my Beloved Keisha-Chan,
…Keisha-Chan? im sorry!! I AM A NICE PRESON!! I just… don't know what am I saying… no… DON'T GO, KEISHA-CHAAN!!! IM SORRY!!! I just wasn't thinking, Keisha-Chan… im… (bows head) she called me Ero-Cook… sigh…
-your Beloved Sanji-Kun
Drake: still can bear it?
Sanji: I can. Gah. This hurts even more… one of my favorites… called me an Ero-Cook…
Luffy: (STILL eating)
Drake: guess whos next?
Sanji: Sarah-Chan?
Drake: close enough. Its Takono-Chan.
Sanji: TAKONO-CHAN?! lemme see!! (grabs letter)
(wipes away tears and reads chapter 12) aw how sweet...(hug) you can be lovey dovey, I just got scared. really scared. and whatever kurry says, DONT LISTEN(except for the one about ace) i forgive you. (kiss)
--takono
Dearest my Beloved Takono-Chan,
Im gonna cry now!! No. (receives hug) nah, I don't want to be lovey-dovey, so I wont make you scared anymore… and sure I wont listen to Kurry-Chan, but IM STILL HOTTER THAN ACE!!! DAMN IT I AM!! (receives kiss) WAHH!! I mean. Arigatou… well, (sigh) I feel better, but, I still have a LOTTA problem to solve… Arigatou Gozaimas.
-your Beloved Sanji-Kun
Drake: well, you feel better?
Sanji: sort of. I still have a lot of things I gotta do.
Luffy: can you cook NOW, Sanji?!
Sanji: sure I can, the next letter is for you anyways.
Drake: Panda-Chan to Luffy.
Hi Luffy,
Here are a few questions for you! After I explain what intelligence is: it is the capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.
1. What was the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
2. How much do you eat in one day?
3. I noticed that both you and Ace eat a lot. Is it a family thing or a devil fruit thing?
4. What if your hat was leather instead of straw?
5. What does it feel like when you get shot?
6. What's most annoying about all your crw members?
7. Who do you think was the uglest guy you had to fight?
8. Did you know it takes 7 muscles to smile but only 4 to bitch-slap somebody?
9. Besides any food scent, what's your favorite smell?
10. Why do you love your "special seat" on the "Going Merry" so much?
11. How did you meet Shanks?
12. What's your favorite rubber move to use?
13. Why do you always believe people when they say that they have like 100,0,0,0 people with them, when it's always a lie?
14. What's the longest book you've ever read?
15. What's your favorite song to sing?
16. Because your nose is rubber, can you mimic Usopp's?
17. How far can you stretch?
18. Why do you like meat so much?
19. If you could choose between a lifetime supply of apple pie or 1 steak, which would you choose?
20. Do you know any synonyms of huge?
Thanks Luffy, it's always fun to ask you questions!(hugs)
see ya later,
Panda-chan
Dear Panda-Chan
Luffy: EYAHOO!! FINALLY QUESTIONS FOR ME!!
Um, you made me ask another question! What is the capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.?
1) Gomu Gomu no Mi. and at first I thought it was dessert!!
2) um… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,…(keeps counting till ten) what comes after ten?
3) a family thing, I think?
4) im going to give it back to Shanks. I like Straw Hats better!
Drake: (giggle) the name will change to Leather Hat Pirates hehe!!
5) I dunno, I can feel my skin stretching in then it goes back out!
6) I don't know! Never thought of it!
7) maybe Arlong…
8) um… no?
9) MEAT PERFUME!! (even if I don't know what perfume is…)
10) maybe, no reason?
11) when I first saw the Red-Haired pirates came to the town.
12) Gomu Gomu no Pistole!! My very first move!!
13) because its true, right?!
14) a 1 and a half page book!
15) I don't know! Maybe any pirate song is nice!
16) I'll try!
17) 30 Gomu Gomu's
18) because its HEALTHY!!
19) STEAK!! ILL NEVER TAKE SWEETS!! I HATE IT!!
20) small?
Hehe!! Im the greates pirate who can answer questions! So ask me anytime!!
-Luffy
P.S. Sanji says Arigatou Gozaimas. And he loves you too.
Sanji: Oi! Oi! Chili Con Carne is finished!! Here ya go!
Luffy: ITADAKIMASU!!! WAHH!! IM STARVED!!
Sanji: any more?
Drake: Last one.
Sanji: who is it?
Drake: take a look!
Hello Sanji-kun! I'm your biggest fan! No really, I am. Anyway, I have a question: Can I dye Zoro's Hamaraki pink to match his hair?
-Puppy
Dear Puppy-Chan (Cute Name!)
Sigh! Nice to hear that from you, Puppy-Chan! ahem, my answer, why not? And do it while he's sleeping, that'll be better! Hehe
Ill be glad hearing more from you!!
-Sanji-Kun
Drake: so short, no?
Sanji: yeah. And its nice to hear "I'm your biggest fan"…
Drake: anyways, that's all for today!! Till next time!! See ya!
Sanji: wait. Let my Fan Girls who are mad at me read this…
Dear to all my Fan Girls…
I know now you feel bad and mad about what I confess in the last edition, and I'm Sorry… Even though Takono-Chan is the Best, you still are my Fan Girls!! I still Love you, Fan Girls!! And without you, how can I be popular? But, all I'm saying is now, im really sorry for the pain im giving you. AND ITS NOT TRUE THAT IM TREATING YOU UNEQUALLY!! NO!! I know I lied, I know Takono-Chan is first on the list, but im treating you all, like you all are first on the list!! Don't be mad! Im still treating you equally, and im deeply sorry… will you forgive me? I don't care who's best or not best anymore and forget equal or un equal, i started this and im gonna end it and unitl now, no matter what happens you girls are still my fans… and I love you all.
Please forgive me?
-your Beloved Sanji-Kun...
Drake: sigh! Lets go, Sanji-San…
Sanji: (head down) okay… sigh.
Luffy: IM STILL HERE OKAY!! ASK ME QUESTIONS TOO!!
Drake: see you!!