Oublier de rever: Chapter 3
Disclaimer-see chapter one!
Warning!!!!! mentions several unpleasant subjects, inc, domestic violence...please don't read if it'll affect you negatively, I don't want loadsa flames!
They had been together for 8 months when he moved in, nine months when he had first hit her.
She had been working, and forgotten to tell Chris that it was Elise's night off from looking after Melodie, and consequently, he had been stuck in all evening with a screaming toddler giving him constant cheek. Sara hadn't answered her phone, she had left it in the break room, and when she found twelve missed calls from home, she was worried.
She had driven through the city as fast as she could, only to get in and have Chris go mad at her.
"SARA! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?"
"Babe, what's wrong? I was working until just there."
"I had to phone in sick, because the fucking nanny wasn't here to look after that brat! Christ almighty Sara!"
"Oh god, I'm sorry. Shit, Chris, I totally forgot that she had a night out."
"FUCKING FORGETTING isn't going to make A FUCKING DIFFERENCE, IS IT?"
"Honey, shh, please, I'm sorry, but you can't wake Melodie, keep your voice down."
"Why didn't you answer your phone?" His voice was quiet, hissing at her, "why the fuck wouldn't you answer your phone?" He had her backed into the wall, Sara was getting increasingly more freaked out.
"I l-left it in the break room. I forg-"
"Mmmm. Sara, darling," he leaned in closer, "are you screwing around on me?"
"NO! Chris, NO!" she was so relieved, when it wasn't something to be honestly worried about, she laughed.
He sucker punched her.
"Don't LIE! That's what Jamiee said," he was talking about his ex-wife, "she said that, like you. You were with someone else."
Sara was so mad. He had just fucking hit her. She was seriously going to kick his fucking ass. She was going to-
"Mommy?"
Melodie was standing in the hallway in her light blue pyjamas. "What's happening?"
"Nothing sweetie," Chris walked down the halll and hoisted her up into his arms. "Me and mommy were just arguing. But it's fine now."
He carried her down the hallway back to her room, and Sara, slumped against the wall, could hear him saying 'love you baby. You're me and mommy's special girl.'
He came barrelling back down the hall to her. "Oh christ, Sara, I'm so sorry. I swear, oh god, I didn't, oh god. I just- I lost my temper. Oh god. Sara, I'm so so sorry. Do you need to go to the hospital?"
She looked up at him, the pissed off-ness fading. "No. I'm-I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Sweetheart, I-I just-"
She could see tears running down the sides of his cheeks.
Should she throw him out? But he honestly didn't mean it, he had been so angry, and upset...Sara justified it to herself, even thought she knew deep down how wrong this situation was.
"It's fine. I'm fine." She walked past him slowly into the kitchen. "Don't ever dare try anything like that again Chris. You know I wouldn't sleep with anyone else. You know I love you."
He looked at her, his tear-stained eyes unnaturally bright. "I love you too Sara. So much. More than you could ever know." He walked over and scooped her into a bear hug. She stiffened at first, but relaxed into his arms.
He didn't mean it. He said he was sorry...he loves me, he loves Melodie...
Sara didn't realise that it would all crumble to ruin around her after that night...
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The second time, it was so much worse...she couldn't do anything...
She had been so tired, exhausted, after a double shift where they had to process and abused child and his foster brother. She had emotionally worn thin, and she had physically done the same too. She had flopped down into bed beside him, dressed in her usual pyjamas of shorts and a cami...she remebered how much Grisso- No! Don't think of him!
Who was she kidding. She thought of him all the time..
She had slid under the covers, and Chris had spooned against her.
"Hey baby."
"Hey. Melodie okay?"
"Yup, just put her down...you tired baby?" he nuzzled at her neck playfully.
"Yeah, I just want to sleep."
"But honey, I thought-"
"Please I'm too tired. Not tonight."
He had rolled away from her. "Chris please, don't be like that."
He ignored her.
She moved over to him, and gave him a soft kiss. "Don't be mad, I'm just really,really tired."
He kissed her back, tongues battling against tongue, and then flipped her over with ease.
"No Chris, I said-"
"Jesus Sara!" He pulled down her shorts along with his boxers.
"Get the hell off! I said I was too tired!"
He just wasn't listening. She tried to push him off, but he just pinned her down with his weight. Considering that it was a 5"8, 100lb female against a 210lb, 6"2 man, there wasn't really much fairness in it.
He juddered against her as he slowed down moving, then slumped against her. Sara wanted to throw up. Oh god.
"Mmm, baby, nobody does to me what you do," he had pulled her against him again, spooning under the covers. "I love you Sara."
What? Uh, he what? No he didn't. She mentally shook her head. He had just- he had just-
Sara, get out of bed right now. Go call the cops. The little voice in her head panicked.
Uh, he is a cop doofus. Like they'd arrest one of their own. She didn't believe in all the conspiracies going round about the cops, but she knew that his cop buddies would back him up...cases like this were often "she said "yes"- "No I didn't"- "yes she did"- "No I didn't"
Sara's head hurt, her stomach hurt, everything hurt. Her emotions were bruised and battered. She knew she had just been raped, she knew that she could bring charges...
But he hadn't heard her...and they would take Melodie away. She had seen enough of these cases to know that the kids would be taken into tempoary foster care until the charges were either dropped, or the perp went to jail...She couldn't be split up from her baby. She couldn't.
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He couldn't sleep. He was so tired, he was utterly exhausted, but he couldn't sleep.
He slid from his bed and padded over to the dresser, and pulled out her old cami. He go back into his bed, and inhaled the thin silky material. Then, Gil Grissom could finally fall asleep...
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She was throwing him out. She had to. For both her and Melodie's sakes.
"Sara, why the fuck?"
"Chris, last night-"
"Last night? Sara, what the fuck happened last night that made you throw me out?"
"You-you r- I don't love you Chris. I'm sorry."
He thumped her in the side.
"You are so full of shit Sara Sidle. I fucking look after. Your. Fucking. Brat" each word was punctuated by a thump to the side or her stomach till she collapsed on the floor, "and Fucking. Put. Up. With. So. Much FUCKING SHIT. And THIS is how you repay me?"
She could feel her stomach and her legs burning. Oh god,it hurt so bad.
"Don't screw with me Sara sweetheart. I fucking know people that'll get you fired. I'll have Melodie taken away. Don't think I fucking won't. Don't even fucking dare."
He had walked away, leaving her just inside the living room door. Several moment later, she heard the front door slam, and he had gone.
Oh shit, Melodie would be back soon with Elise. She couldn't let her baby see her like this. She tried to get up onto her knees, but her bruised stomach and ribs protested, so she inched into her room, slowly pulling herself up using a chair for support.
She went slowly into the bathroom, and looked at her face in the mirror. Not a mark, except her puffy eyes from crying as her so-called 'lover' beat the crap out of her.
Could he really have Melodie taken away? He was a squeaky clean cop, not a bad record in sight. She on the other hand, was a CSI with a DUI and a bad family history. They'd think she was beating her baby up, that she had beaten herself up...Münchhausen...
She opened her shirt, and looked at the various bruises now dotting her midsection. Not a nice look. Purple may be in fashion right now, but it didn't look so hot when dotted all over semi-translucent pale skin.
She cleaned her stomach up and put arnica all over the bruises. Then she heard elise's key in the lock.
"Mommy? Mommy! I'm back!" Sara went out into the hall to greet her over-excited daughter...wincing when Melodie grabbed her too roughly around the waist for a hug...
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He stated getting worried looks from his team. He must really look like shit, he laughed sardonically to himself.
"Gil? A minute of your time please?"
Ecklie stood at his door. "Yes Conrad?"
"It's the forensic anthropology conference in NY in three months-and the sheriff and I talked it over- we believe that you should go, represent the lab...there'll be a lot of good students looking for jobs: and there are several positions here that desperately need filling, lab techs, day technicians, etcetera..."
"New York? Why Do I have to go? Can't Cathe-"
"Gil, you're our most senior member of the lab-under myself, of course." Ecklie preened. Uhh, no Ecklie, we're equals, Grissom felt like snapping at the vain man.
"...So anyway, you need to go" Ecklie finished up, Gil looking at him in worry, since he'd not listened to any of that speech.
"I don't...it's...I'm not going. I have work commitments."
"No you don't. I spoke to Catherine, she will take over night-shift for the amount of time you're one. There's nothing to prevent you going to this conference Gil, and the sheriff knows it." With that, Conrad Ecklie swept from the room, like the pompous jackass he was.
Grissom sunk his head into his hands. Fuck. She's be there. She'd probably be giving a lecture, then he'd have to see her again. Fuck.Fuck.Fuck What highly contagious disease could he catch within the next three months?
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Melodie could hear them again. She wanted to do something, but she was so scared, she didn't understand what was happening. Why was he doing that?
She heard the noise stop, but her mommy kept crying. Why wouldn't she tell him to stop? Melodie was confused, her mommy told her never to let anyone hit her. So why was she letting Chris do that?
She heard feet thud along the hall and out the door. Her mommy stopped crying so much. She was just making sniffly noises now.
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Sara stood up, wincing. She looked in the mirror to see that her nose was bleeding rather badly. And heavily. Shit. And she knew Melodie had heard them again. Melodie had heard them a few times before. But it had never been so bad. Sara gazed into the mirror. She had to get to the emrgency room. Then she saw it.
She saw it staring back at her from the mirror.
She looked just like her mother...
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John had especially noticed a big difference in Sara in the past few months. She had become so quiet, so always seemed to have something on her mind...John didn't know what it was, maybe there was something up with Melodie, but he just didn't know, he speculated...at least, he didn't know until...
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He had pulled her into the kitchen when she got back from work that night.
"Sara, who is 'Nicky?'"
"Nicky?"
"He called here for you earlier today, from Vegas."
"oh. Oh. Nick? Omigod, how'd he get this number?" she turned around to leave the kitchen, intent on finding out, when he had reached out and grabbed her wrist.
"You telling me the truth sweetheart?"
"Yes, yes I-ow!" he twisted her wrist round.
"You sure?"
"Yes, I promise. Please, let go."
He smiled sadistically at her then dropped her arm. Melodie was standing in the doorway, looking suspiciously at her mom, who was wearing a smile so fake it put Michael Jackson's nose to shame.
"Mommy?"
"Melly, you ready to go?" Chris pulled lightly on a strand of her hair, as he looked threateningly at Sara.
"Yeah."
"Sara, coming to burger king?" he would love to see her in there, shoving a burger in her mouth, Sara realised, he had complained numerous times about "how this stupid fucking vegetarian thing made her too thin for fun."
"uh, no, I'm going for a nap, I'm tired."
"Fine. Be that way." he turned to melodie, and tugged the hood of her coat up as a joke. "Lets go Melly."
"ok. Bye mommy." melodie ran over to her mom, gave her a huge kiss, then ran out the door.
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That had been the day before John had found out...
She had reached out to him over the table as he passed her a case file...they were all having a meeting about the recent robberies on 7/ll's
Her shirt had slid up her arm, and the ugly purple hand-shaped bruise around her wrist was obvious for everyone to see...
"Sara, what the fuck is that?" Dani had gasped, looking at it.
"what?" she followed the redhead's gaze "it-its nothing." she pulled down the shirt.
"Like hell it's nothing." Stuart had rumbled, and Sara looked at him, nervousness clouding her dark brown eyes.
"Please-it's nothing. Melodie grabbed my wrist a little hard the other day."
"Sweetie, Melodie doesn't have hands the size of an ape."
"It was her. It was an accident. He-She didn't mean it. Just drop it."
"Please Sara-"
"Was it Chris? It fucking was! I'm going to flay that shit-rag."
"Calm down Stuart." John pulled on his coat. "Sara, please," he then turned to her, "you have to tell us who did it."
"No-one! Please, just drop it, I'm fine" she stood, and strode hurriedly from the break room.
Dani, Stuart and John all looked at each other. "what do we do?" Dani sounded close to tears.
"We can't do shit." Stuart sunk into his chair. "Can't do fucking shit unless she brings charges."
"But Melodie-" Dani began again.
"Oh please Dans. If he started on Melly, Sara would rip him limb from limb...pity she doesn't seem to care about her own well being."
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Chris was really good at pushing her on the swings. Melodie loved feeling like she was flying.
After 20 minutes on the swings, she jumped off, and they headed towards the ice-cream hut. Although it was September, it was still hot enough to enjoy an ice-cream. They both got one, and started walking back to the apartment.
"Chri-is?"
"Yep?" he smiled at his almost-daughter.
"Why is mommy always working?"
"Mommy has to work, to make money for us so we can have food, and a nice house, and you can have dolls and teddies."
"oh. Does mummy love her job?"
"Yep, she does. It's a good job for her to have."
"Does she love it more'n me?"
He squatted down to be eye-level with her. "No Melly, she doesn't. Don't think that. Mommy loves us more than anything in the whole, entire world."
He stood up again, and they resumed walking. When they got back to the apartment block, and he was putting his key in the lock, she piped up again. "Chris, why do you hit Mommy?"
He froze. Ummmmmm...
He said, as he fumbled with his key. "Sometimes-sometimes I get angry with mommy, and I do bad things."
"You shouldn't. Mrs Capelin said its wrong."
He seized her small shoulders "what did you tell Mrs Capelin, Melodie?"
"N-Nothing. She said it to Joseph when he hit kimmy in school."
"oh. Well, sometimes, when people are bad, or naughty, they deserve to get hit."
"Does mommy deserve to get hit?"
"Sometimes"...