A/N: This chapter has been nagging at me, and I wanted to get it just right. Any more notes would be spoilers, so I'll just say that I hope you enjoy! As always, thank you to all you wonderful people out there. I like you more than Roy likes dog's!

Chapter Fourteen: Idiotic

The cens were burning a hole in Roy's pocket, begging to be spent. He had vastly underestimated the attraction of the festival. The marketplace housed many colorful tents and canopies, which served to shade the merchants and their products. Voices chattered in Xerxian, Cretan, Aerugonian, and he even thought he picked up a little Drachman. A sharp whistle cut through it all, signaling the start of a nearby event. The crowd began to trickle out, leaving about half its people behind. He couldn't understand why so many people found the festival interesting for reasons other than the market and sheepdogs, but he figured that it was better for him this way. Riza didn't like large crowds, and he had a better vantage point to look at the exotic wares on display.

Riza had moved on to the next booth without his notice. She gingerly brushed her fingers along a decorated piece of Xingese silk, her breath caught in her throat. When Roy placed his hand on his shoulder, she jerked her arm back. Exhaling, she placed her hand over her heart, relieved that she hadn't done something wrong. That fabric was more expensive than her entire wardrobe. "You scared me," she scolded.

"Didn't mean to." Roy peered over her shoulder. "Thinking about buying it?"

Riza shook her head. "No. As much as I'd like to have something like it, I don't know how to work with the material. You know, if I could even afford it in the first place. And besides, I can't think of anything I would do with it. It's pretty, but it's not practical."

"Not everything has to be useful."

"It does at that price."

Roy tilted his head slightly to the side, deciding that she had a point. He reached over her into a box full of thin scraps of the fabric and pulled out a fistful. It didn't take long for him to sift through them, and he pulled one apart from the rest. The ribbon was a rich burgundy with gold ornamentation. With a deft hand, he tied the strip into a hairband as Riza looked at him. "There. Cheaper, no work required, and a purpose."

Riza narrowed her eyes, which were very nearly the same color as the silk. "Why do you always have to find a way around what I say?"

"It's fun," Roy countered as he passed the merchant his fee. "I'm just surprised you didn't think about it." He stuck his hands in his pockets and bent forward, bringing his face level to hers.

Riza rolled her eyes dramatically. "Has anyone told you that you're annoying?"

"Yes. You. About three times a week." Roy straightened up and threw an arm around her shoulders. He led her to the next booth, which exhibited several strange types of food. Even if he would never say it out loud, he was enjoying himself by just standing to the side and watching Riza. Her face was incredibly expressive when she didn't have her guard up; he had a theory that she didn't have a clue about it. Yes, he was being greedy in his enjoyment of their time together, but he couldn't care less. There was nothing wrong with enjoying his friend's company, after all. Riza made no move to shrug his arm off, and this fact made him smirk like the devil.

After examining the various - oddities was still too tame a word - Riza decided that she'd rather not be swayed by the merchant's prompting. He didn't get the hint after she refused samples of various candied insects. Taking matters into her own hands, she slipped out from underneath Roy's arm and moved away from the booth. Before Roy's arm could come to a stop, she had laced her fingers in his. He allowed himself to be pulled to the next stall. Riza shuddered when she stopped. "Nothing in the world could make me eat things like that."

Roy grinned down at her. "Don't worry. I don't think you will have a life where you need to eat bugs. You should be safe." He let his hand hang down between them, still intertwined with hers.

"Tiens!"

Riza looked over her shoulder for the source of the call, and her face brightened when she saw the familiar figure. "M. Pierre!" She dropped Roy's hand and rushed over to the man. Pierre caught her under her arms and spun her in a circle, letting her down after one turn.

"If you get bigger, I won't be able to do that anymore." Pierre clapped her on the shoulders. "What are you doing here, ma petite? Don't tell me you've run away from home with that young man." The blonde-haired man let his eyes flick to Roy, who was walking over to join them.

"No, no, it's not that at all," Riza protested, her tone matching the playfulness of her companion's. "We're here visiting my grandfather, who's here for the festival."

Roy gave them a bit of distance, noticing their resemblance for the first time. Had Riza's eyes been blue rather than her firey amber, she could easily pass for his daughter. Her hair was off by a few shades, but that didn't really matter. He watched as Pierre ruffled Riza's hair, and he listened to her laugh. Not for the first time, he felt anger well in the pit of his stomach. He doubted that Berthold had ever been so kind to his daughter. It seemed like the world loved her, but she was still so afraid.

"Ma cherie, where did you get this?" Pierre lifted her hand so that he could study the bracelet around her wrist.

"Roy made it for me as a birthday gift," she explained, looking over at him. She smiled, and he couldn't help but smile back at her. He took this as an invitation to walk over to join them.

"C'est joli. You are very talented." Pierre extended his hand to Roy. "We didn't meet last time. I was too busy defending my prices!" He punctuated his statement with a laugh. "Pierre."

"Roy." Roy reached out and shook the man's hand. There was something about his demeanor that made Roy think that Pierre would be fun to be around. "Thank you for the compliment. I still have a long way to go, to be honest."

"Honesty is a valuable quality." Pierre placed a hand on each of their backs and began to lead them. "Come, sit for a while. Let me feed you something more appetizing than what is on display here."

"Sir, that's not necessary," Roy protested. He was trying to be polite, yes, but he also wanted to continue their shopping trip alone. Riza had hardly looked at him since she became distracted.

"Please." Pierre gestured for the children to seat themselves on a wooden bench behind his stall. He then turned his head and called out in Cretan, peppering his speech with a bit of Amestrian slang.

"I'm comin'!" A blonde teenager trudged over to them, stopping to pull a box from the back of a cart. Roy looked at him with appraisal. He was tall, very tall. His shaggy blonde hair fell down into his face. His blue eyes had a look of mild annoyance and resignation. It was easy for Roy to see the family resemblance.

"I lucked out this time. I was able to get cinnamon, licorice, ginger, nutmeg, turmeric, and a whole bunch of other stuff. He gave me a really steep discount, something about you being with me."

"So he knew you had an extra mouth to feed."

"No, something about winning a man through his stomach." Riza shook her head, strangely unashamed. "He's always saying stuff like that to me. He keeps telling me about his son who is around my age."

Oh, hell no.

Fueled with jealousy he couldn't ignore, Roy moved closer to Riza on the bench. When she leaned against him, he had to fight to keep his smugness off his face. However, when he looked at the teenager, it looked like he hadn't even noticed.

Pierre took the box and opened it. He withdrew a few sandwiches and passed them to the children as he spoke. "Tay-ray-za," Riza had to smile at his unique pronunciation of her name, "Roy, meet my son, Jean."

With a friendly smile, Riza extended her hand. "You can call me Riza. I've heard a lot about you."

Jean grinned, clasping her hand with his own. "Same. You're definitely one of Dad's favorites." He let go and extended his hand to Roy. "Nice to meet you guys."

For a second, Roy considered not shaking his hand. No, that would be petty. This kid wasn't a threat. He wasn't the one sitting by Riza, after all. Roy reached out and shook Jean's hand. "Same," he mimicked.

Roy gripped the edge of the bench as Jean took a seat on Riza's left. He bit his tongue despite the feeling in his stomach. What a jerk. When Pierre said something in Cretan, both Jean and Riza laughed. Roy turned his head to the side, studying his sandwich before taking a mildly aggressive bite.

"It's a good thing I know you're joking," Jean told his father.

Riza turned to Jean and asked "Why do you reply in Amestrian if you understand Cretan?"

"He wants to lose his accent," Pierre informed her. He clearly wasn't pleased with the fact.

"I sound like a normal kid if I speak Amestrian enough. If I fall back into Cretan, I start taking sounds from it and putting them into Amestrian," Jean explained. "Dad still wants me to be exposed to Cretan, though."

"It's a part of your heritage. If you don't practice, you'll lose it." Pierre frowned when Jean shrugged. Stubborn boy. Hopefully, he would learn one day.

"So, what're y'all up to?" Jean asked his companions. Roy noticed his eastern colloquialism, and he made the stereotypical assumption that Jean was a little less educated.

"We were looking at the merchandise. There's not much to do here." Riza was trying her best for her grandfather, but she was bored to tears. At least in Giribaz, she knew the ins and outs of where she could go to amuse herself. Here it was all... sheep.

"Tell me about it." Jean tilted his head so that he could crack his neck. "Best thing I've found is the creek, and that's not saying much."

"That'd be a nice place to read or have a picnic," Riza pointed out, turning her attention to Roy. He made a grunt of agreement, to which Riza narrowed her eyes slightly. "Well, I want to go." She stood and turned on her heels to face her companions.

"Alright." Jean placed his hands on his knees and pushed himself up. "I'll show you where it is. It's not far from here, actually."

"I'm going, too," Roy decided. He shoved his hands in his pockets and took his place to Riza's right. He was the first to begin walking despite not knowing the way. Riza frowned at his back for a moment before following, Jean by her side.

The three fell into pace with one another, both boys slowing to match Riza's shorter stride. Jean had placed his hands behind his head and was telling some sort of story which Roy had no interest in. He watched Jean out of the corner of his eye, his attention never wavering. Once the marketplace was out of sight, Jean reached into his back pocket and pulled out a paper package. He hit it against his palm and pulled out the cigarette it produced. He placed it between his lips and spoke around it: "Y'all want one?"

Riza shook her head. She knew plenty of people who smoked back home. She wasn't surprised to discover that Jean did; teenagers out in the countryside were bored, but they knew better than to rebel too extremely. Many of them took up smoking because it was a low-risk taboo for people their age. "I don't smoke," she said simply.

"I do." Riza looked at Roy in surprise when he reached over her head for the pack. No you don't, her eyes defied. She was ignored.

Roy mimicked the way Jean pulled a cigarette from the pack, choosing to hold it between his fingers as he handed it back. It was traded for a lighter, which Jean had already used to light his own. Roy thought back to how Aunt Chris lit hers... oh god, she'd beat him until he was blue if she saw him. He pushed those thoughts away and put the cigarette between his lips. He flicked the lighter and lifted it to the end, covering the flame with his other hand despite the lack of a breeze. He flicked his wrist to close the lighter and handed it over Riza.

God, this tasted awful. He saw Jean exhale a cloud of smoke with a grin. Because he was too busy trying to follow suit, he missed Riza's glare. Bracing himself, he inhaled shallowly; his eyes began to water, and he couldn't exhale soon enough. It tasted like he just licked the bottom of a shoe. He tried his best to keep his distaste from showing. He flicked the ashes off the end to buy himself a moment of clean air. Damn it, he wouldn't be shown up by some country bumpkin.

"So, where are y'all from?" Jean asked, flicking his cigarette up and down with his tongue.

"Giribaz," Riza informed him. She took to ignoring Roy once she realized he wasn't going to stop acting like an ass.

"Really? That's not far from Aszamem. I could probably walk there in half a day."

"I never knew that you lived so close."

"I'm from Central," Roy jumped in, even though the conversation hadn't come back to him just yet.

Jean took his cigarette between his fingers so that he could whistle his disbelief. "You're not just a city boy; you're a city boy to the extreme." He didn't mean this as an insult in any way, but that didn't change the way Roy took it. "What're you doing out in the East, then? People from here move to the city, not the other way around."

"I'm studying alchemy under Riza's father." Roy puffed his chest at this, letting himself feel superior.

"Man, I wish I was smart enough for something like that," Jean admitted. "I can shoot a gun and run a shop, and that's about it."

"It's really rigorous. Not many people make it through."

"Well, here's hoping you do." Jean reached around Riza to clap Roy on the back, grinning widely.

Asshole, Roy thought to himself. Quit being sarcastic already. In his bitterness, he hadn't noticed that they had reached the creek. Jean sat on a rock, removing his shoes and rolling up his pants legs. His half-burned cigarette stuck out of the corner of his mouth. Roy was surprised to see Riza doing the same. He pulled his cigarette from his mouth and dropped it, grinding it into the dirt with his foot.

"Don't forget to pick that up before we leave, man." Jean pointed to Roy's feet. "Don't need anything eating that."

Roy was about to retort that he knew better than to do that, but Jean had turned his back to him as he waded into the water. He grit his teeth when he saw Jean extend his hand to help Riza into the creek.

"You coming in?" Jean asked.

"I don't like water," Roy stated bluntly. He sat on the ground and leaned against a tree, arms crossed as he watched the small rapids just a ways down the bend.

"See you tomorrow!" Riza called after Jean's retreating figure, earning a nonchalant wave in return. They - well, she and Jean - had agreed to meet up for the sheepdog demonstrations the next day. It was while they were making these plans that Jean had taken a detour from his destination, choosing to walk them past the Elric home instead.

Riza began to walk the path up to the house, aware that Roy was following her by the sound of his footsteps. Rather than approach the door, she walked over to stand beneath the large oak tree in the yard. Roy still followed her. She stopped and balled her hands into fists, squaring her shoulders before facing him.

"What the hell is your problem?!" she shouted, catching Roy off guard. He'd never heard her use this tone before. Without letting him respond, Riza continued. "Jean was very kind to us. He clearly wanted to be your friend, but you acted like an ass!"

"He wanted to be a little more than that with you," Roy grumbled quietly in a low tone. His words didn't escape Riza's attention.

"You've got to be kidding me! That's your issue?! You self-absorbed, egotistical idiot!"

"Yeah, that's my issue!" Roy shot back. "And you didn't need to rub it in my face all day, either! You call me self-absorbed?"

"Yeah, I do." Riza snarled. "Because if you didn't have your head so far up your ass, maybe you'd get a clue!"

"Oh, excuse me, Miss Omnipotent. Yeah, I know big words, too, unlike that idiot. Honestly, what the hell do you even see in him?"

Riza scowled, astounded that he could even act this way. "Nothing! A friend! Why should you even care?!"

"I just do!"

"Idiot!" She had had enough. Her hands shot out and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down to her level. In a fraction of a second, her lips pressed against his; she used her hold on him to throw him back, nearly knocking him off balance. "You goddamned, useless idiot!"

Roy stood dumbfounded as he watched Riza storm into the house. He jolted when she slammed the door behind her. He plopped down onto the grass, trying to figure out what just happened. The sun continued to set, and he wasn't sure how long it had been before he saw Trisha and Van approaching. Where even was Grumman, anyway? It wasn't important.

"Are you okay?"

Roy looked up to see Trisha standing over him. All he could do was shrug. His face betrayed his confusion.

"Come on, let's get you inside."

Roy let himself be helped to his feet.

"Would some hot cocoa help?"

He nodded.

"Dear?"

"I've got it." Van placed a hand on Roy's shoulder, guiding him into the house. "Come on, kid. I know that look."

The door clicked softly shut behind them.