There's something I don't get about this whole situation: why me? An alien, time traveler, and esper all wandered around Haruhi because, according to Koizumi, Haruhi wished for it. But if so, what am I doing in this crazy mess?

I am, after all, an ordinary high school boy. Whatever, it's not my problem. The responsibility lays with Haruhi, not with me. Nagato, Asahina-san, Koizumi, they should all be talking to Haruhi directly. Whatever happens then is her problem, not mine.

As I left for school that morning, I found Saito waiting for me just past my house.

"Just tightening up security," she said, joining me on my way to school. Well, if a cute girl wanted to accompany me everywhere I went, who was I to dispute her?

That day, Haruhi insisted on staying in her gym uniform until after school.

As I looked at my stockpile of Asahina-san photos, Asahina-san noticed the folder with her name on it.

"What is this?" she asked sweetly. "Why is my name on it? Let me see!"

She grabbed for the mouse, pressing her breasts into my back in the process. Saito, who had followed me to the clubroom, looked on in obvious amusement. When the door started to open, however, she suddenly pulled Asahina-san away from me and spoke some kind of incantation, causing the browser to open to a page of… something.

"What are you three doing?" Haruhi asked, scowling.

"Kyon-san was looking at an H doujinshi, and Asahina-senpai and I couldn't help but get into it as well," Saito offered as a defense. "I'd like to join this club, by the way."

"That's fine, but show me the computer screen."

I turned the monitor to Haruhi.

"Wow, you really were. Is that…?"

"Yup, hypnosis, Kyon-san is into some weird stuff," Saito replied

"Don't use the SOS Brigades official PC for your weird stuff, Kyon!" Haruhi exclaimed, though she was looking thoughtfully at the monitor. I could only gape at Saito's bizarre choice of defense. "Anyway, I'm changing, get out!"

She literally kicked me out of the room. When I was allowed back in, Haruhi was dressed in her bunny girl outfit.

"The arms and shoulders are cool, but this outfit isn't very breathable!" she said.

Koizumi chose that moment to walk in. "Oh, are we having a costume party today?"

Don't start.

Haruhi stood and asked Asahina-san to sit at the computer, then started braiding the terrified upperclassmen's hair.

I spent the rest of the day playing board games with Koizumi. Although the day was fairly ordinary, I thought that life itself had gotten rather interesting, and wished for these days to continue forever. Unfortunately, Saito had created a monster, as we would all find out the next day.

"Sleep!" Haruhi exclaimed, pointing at Taniguchi, who instantly fell asleep. Saito and I looked on in horror. "I've mastered hypnosis, Kyon!"

I can see that and I'm horrified!

"What's that look for? This is a great occasion!"

Of course you would see it that way, but it's actually pretty scary.

"Is there anything you two would like to tell me, or should I use hypnosis to get it out of you?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Suzumiya-san," Saito replied.

That's asking the impossible here.

"We're not hiding anything from you."

"Okay," Haruhi said with a sinister smirk. "Wake up."

Taniguchi awoke instantly and looked around confused. "What just happened?"

The end of the world may have started.

Haruhi prepared to point at Saito, but before being hypnotized, Saito made a shocking admission.

"Okay, I like Kyon-san," she said, blushing and looking at the floor. "That's why I follow him everywhere. We're not officially going out though. Happy?"

Haruhi blinked in surprise, then grinned. "I know you have a better secret than that, but I won't pry."

That's unusual of you.

After school, Saito and I walked to the clubroom as usual. Haruhi showed up shortly after us.

"Yui, it's time to tell us all your real secret," said Haruhi. "I did some digging on you, and you're a sucker for gossip, never contributing but always listening."

That makes sense, given her last job was to observe ordinary humans.

"So, you must have heard some rumors about supernatural activity! Where can we find some?"

"Well, there is one place…" said Saito.