A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME

True to her word, Nina was shaking me awake at 8:00 AM the next morning.

"It's time to go, sweetie," she whispered. She looked exhausted. I ignored her and went straight to Brianna, who was still sleeping. Drew was sitting with her, just like he promised.

"Good morning," I whispered to him as I tucked a piece of hair behind Bri's ear. She was such a messy sleeper.

"Good morning," he said, shoving another spoonful of cereal in his mouth. "You know, I put the bed out for a reason."

"It was too far away," I complained. Instead of going to the bed last night, I parked myself next to Brianna in one of the chairs. Drew apparently had taken the other one. "How is she?"

"The Pneumonia's definitely getting worse, but we're still hopeful," Drew explained. I nodded.

"Livvy, sweetie, we need to go. I'm so sorry," Nina apologized again. She was a lot of things, but she wasn't heartless.

"Are you staying here?" I asked Drew. He looked hesitantly back and Nina, then at me.

"I have to go home and take care of a few things, but I promise I'll check on her again before my shift tonight."

"Thank you," I expressed to him. "I don't know when I'll be back, but please just take care of her in the meantime."

"That's my job," Drew nodded, pointing to the whiteboard. He was listed as the head of her case.

"It's your job to treat her," I pointed out. "Not to care about her."

"Well, I do," he admitted. "She's got something special about her."

"Don't I know it," I smiled. I looked over at Nina, who was getting impatient. She didn't want to pull me away from my sister, but she had a job to do.

"You need to talk to him," I said to Nina as soon as we were out of earshot.

"Maybe this is a good thing, Liv," Nina sighed. "It's not the worst thing in the world when an adult wants to help."

"It's overstepping boundaries," I pointed out. "He's not supposed to get attached to patients. Patients leave, and they never see their doctors again. He's not a foster parent. Brianna's going to get attached to him, get better, and then never see him again. She's going to get hurt."

"I've talked to him, honey. He knows the rules," Nina tried to comfort. I shook my head.

"He gave me his number," I told her.

"Then he better answer when you call," Nina shrugged. "He's a good guy, Liv. I know you don't have a lot of those in your life, but maybe you should stop planning for a bad outcome and start believing that this could be a good thing."

"I know he means well, they all do, I just…they don't know us. They think they do, but they don't. This isn't going to end well," I sighed.

"Positive mindset, Liv, positive mindset," Nina said, and pulled into my driveway. I didn't miss the fact that our car wasn't there.

"Take your time, sweetie," Nina said as we entered the house. "Do you have suitcases?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "They're in the basement."

"Okay, you can each have one suitcase. Pack as much as you can – we can figure out the rest later."

"Thanks, Nina," I replied, adventuring further into the place that was once my home. I wished so badly that I was a few years older. That I was eighteen, so I could stay at the hospital with Brianna and then take her home. I could be Avery. I could work full time and pay bills and take care of Brianna.

I walked through the kitchen – still a mess, and into the living room. Avery had already vacuumed, and I could see the blankets in the spot where she must have fallen asleep on the couch. So she did forget about me, I thought to myself. I picked up the blanket and held it to my face. It still smelt like her.

The tears came slowly, and then all at once. I couldn't hold myself together anymore. Why weren't we allowed to be happy? Why, when it seemed everything was coming together, did life suddenly feel the need to tear it all apart again? First dad, then mom, and now Avery and Brianna. Brianna wasn't dead, but they sure weren't keeping us together. Not when she was sick and I wasn't.

Nina was staring at me from the kitchen like I was a kicked puppy. Maybe I was. I didn't need her pity. I didn't need her sympathy. I just needed to leave. I pushed forward and went downstairs to get the suitcases.

I went to my room first, and packed up as much as I could. I grabbed some clothes, mostly underwear, toiletries, and a few other luxuries. I crossed the hall into Brianna's room, and grabbed what I thought she would need. I had one more thing that I needed to grab, but I didn't know how I was going to get it.

"You okay, Liv?" Nina called to me. I was just kind of standing outside Avery's bedroom.

"Actually, Nina," I sniffled, and wiped some lingering tears out of my eyes. "Can you come here and do me a favor?"

"Of course," she said, and stopped when she saw where I was standing. "What can I do?" I knew it was a double-sided question, but I ignored one of the meanings.

"My dad's flag is in there. I need to take it with me," I told her. "I just, I don't think I can go in there right now. It's Avery's room."

"Okay," Nina nodded. "I'll be right back."

She went in promptly and I turned around. I didn't want to risk seeing anything. Seeing the living room was hard enough. She came out, gently carrying my father's flag that we got after he died. She handed it to me, and then took one of the suitcases.

"Do you have everything?" She asked.

"Everything we're able to take," I quipped. Nina nodded and pulled the suitcase through the hallway and out the same door she came in. She was moving quickly. I knew she had other children to be with today, other cases, but I was grateful she prioritized us. I knew from the moment we first met her that she was a good one.

I took my time heading out. I wasn't coming back here, probably ever. They would auction off our stuff, and then our home. I gave it a month before a new family claimed it as their own.

Before I left, I made myself some breakfast in the kitchen. Nina came back in, and sat down knowingly at the kitchen table. This was supposed to be quick and painless, but I couldn't help but drag the process on. I was teetering on a line between a life I loved and a life of uncertainty. I was desperately fighting to stay on one particular side of that line.

"Can we bring Brianna some food?" I asked, hoping if we did I'd be able to see my sister again. Nina shook her head.

"The hospital will make sure she gets something to eat, Liv. She's going to be fine," Nina assured. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Where am I going?" I asked her. "Did you find a placement?"

"Yes," she said. "They're waiting for you. They know about Brianna, and they're prepared to take you back to see her."

"Good," I nodded, taking a bite of my bagel. "Are there other kids?"

"A few younger. Nothing insane," Nina described.

"Which means for a normal person, it's probably insane," I mumbled. Nina didn't hear me.

"We should get going," Nina said as she looked at the clock. "It's time to say goodbye, Liv."

"Goodbye," I whispered, taking another bite of my bagel and allowing Nina to shuffle me out the door.

"I'm Liz," the woman held out her hand, and I shook it because if I didn't, my dad would haunt my sorry ass. "And this is my husband, Gregory."

"It's nice to meet you," I said, attempting politeness. They were a young couple, and seemed nice enough. There were two other kids running around. One was definitely a foster, but I couldn't be sure of the other one.

"What's your name?" The woman, Liz asked, trying to be friendly.

"Olivia Matthews," I gave my full name. She wasn't allowed to call me Liv yet.

"Well, welcome to our home, Olivia," Gregory smiled. "May I take your suitcase?"

"Sure," I shrugged. They had a big house, bigger than I had ever seen. Two stories. If he wanted to carry my suitcase up the stairs, then sure. Why not?

"Well, I'll leave this with you two," Nina handed Liz a stack of paperwork. "Just get it to me when you can," she directed. "As for you, Liv, call me if you need anything."

"I need to see my sister," I pressed. Nina sighed.

"Give it a few more hours. Let Bri rest and get some sleep. She's okay," Nina reminded me. I glared.

"Come on, let's get you settled in," Liz redirected, waving at Nina. "Thank you!"

"Thank you!" Nina nodded, and headed back to her car.

"How's it going?" A woman's voice called from behind my door. I opened it to reveal Liz.

"Just trying to figure out what I'm going to need to buy when I get paid next week," I complained. Top of the list was a toothbrush.

"You work?" Liz asked surprised.

"Yeah, I'm a dance teacher and front desk supervisor. It's part time, but it's something. They also let me take free classes there since I work for them," I explained. I lucked out. The owner of the dance studio, Nate, knew my dad pretty well. When my dad died, Nate cut me some slack and started giving me some work to take my mind off things. He knew we needed the money.

"What classes do you teach?" Liz asked, getting interested.

"Contemporary and Lyrical, but I study ballroom," I told her. I didn't know why.

"That's wonderful!" Liz exclaimed. "You should teach Gregory some time. He has two left feet. I could barely get him to dance at our own wedding," Liz teased. I laughed out of politeness. I really just wanted her to go away.

"Do you have a phone I could use?" I asked her, changing the subject.

"Uhm, we were actually hoping to go over some guidelines and house rules first, and then we can talk about phone time. Nina said that you don't have a cellphone?"

"Avery had a pay as you go phone in case of emergencies, but no, we didn't have any other phones. Couldn't afford them," I told her.

"Okay," Liz nodded. "Well, when you're finished come on downstairs so we can talk, and then we'll see about getting you your phone call," she gave a soft smile and headed back out.

"Great," I said. "I'm in prison."

I took a look around the room and sighed. It wasn't Warbuck's mansion, but it would do.