MY SISTER, MY PROTECTOR

"Olivia?" Someone's whisper pulled me out of the darkness of my dreams. I didn't recognize the voice. It certainly wasn't Liz or Gregory.

I rolled over in my bed to find someone staring inches from my face. I wasn't expecting that, and I screamed as a result.

"Sorry! Sorry!" The little boy cried, backing away towards the door. The hallway light was on.

"It's okay," I whispered, sitting up in bed. "Come 'ere," I tried to clear my throat. It was still dark out. I looked at my clock and it said 3:24 AM. Great.

"Did your mommy die?" He asked. I nodded. He was the other boy who Liz and Gregory were fostering.

"Yeah, my mommy died," I told him. "Is that why you're here?" I asked, pulling my knees to my chest. He nodded.

"Liz and Gregory are my mommy and daddy now," he played with his fingers. I nodded. Did they adopt him, then? He couldn't be older than five, maybe six.

"They're very nice," I pointed out. "I'm sure they make a great mommy and daddy. How long have you lived here?"

"A long time," he said. "Why are you here?"

"Like you are. I need people to take care of me for a little while. I won't be here as long as you will be, though. Liz and Gregory aren't going to be my mommy and daddy. I'm too old," I pointed out. I didn't know why this kid woke me up, but I was hoping that if we just made small talk he'd run up to bed. I didn't think Liz and Gregory wanted him up in the middle of the night wandering.

"So you're going to leave?" He looked at me with puppy dog eyes.

"It happens, pal," I shrugged. "What's your name again?"

"Jeffrey," he answered, going back to playing with his fingers.

"Did you have a nightmare, Jeffrey?" I prodded. I knew from experience what the after effect of a nightmare looked like. He didn't answer me, he just nodded.

"Was it about your mommy?" I asked again. He nodded again.

"What did you do with nightmares before I came here?" Jeffrey shrugged, not answering me.

"Do Liz and Gregory know?"

"Yeah, they said it was normal. They said that Nathan used to have them, too."

"Is Nathan your brother?" He must be the other older boy. Jeffrey nodded.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I whispered in Jeffrey's ear. Another nod.

"Big brothers are here to protect their little brothers," I told him. "Just like big sisters are here to protect their little sisters. You wanna know how I know that?"

"How do you know that?" He asked, completely interested.

"I'm a big sister. I would do anything to protect my little sister, because it's my job. It's what I'm here to do," I explained.

"Can big sisters protect little brothers?" Jeffrey asked shyly. I nodded.

"Is that why you woke me up, Jeffrey?"

"Nathan told me about your sister. I wake Nathan up a lot, so I thought you might be able to help me fall back asleep tonight, so he could take the night off," Nathan explained. It all made sense now.

"Well, let's get you back to sleep, then," I smiled, and we got out of my bed.

"Avery," I whispered, poking her shoulder. She wouldn't wake up.

"Avery," I tried again, being louder, but not loud enough I would wake up Mom.

"It is the middle of the night, someone better be dying," Avery growled, sitting up in her bed. "What's the matter, Liv?"

"I had another nightmare," I admitted. It was the same one I always had. Avery sighed.

"Come here," she sighed, and I climbed up into her bed. "Was it about Dad?" She asked. I nodded.

"Why did he have to go back?" I asked her. "Why did he have to die?"

"He did it to protect us, Livvy," Avery ran her fingers through my hair. "He was fighting the bad guys."

"I hate them," I cried. "Didn't they know that he had kids?"

"Probably not, sweetie," Avery comforted. I could see her crying too.

"Who's going to protect us now?" I asked her after a few moments.

"I am," Avery asserted. "You know why?"

"Why?" I asked her, looking into her brown eyes.

"Because I'm the oldest. You're Brianna's big sister, so you have to protect her, right?" Avery paused so that I could nod. "Well, I'm Brianna's big sister and your big sister. So I have to protect both of you. I'm a super big sister," she explained.

"Forever?"

"Forever and ever," she smiled. "I promise."

"How are Liz and Gregory?" Nina asked, trying to get me to talk on the way to our appointment with the lawyer. I shrugged.

"They have a lot of rules," I complained. "I got to talk to Brianna last night, though."

"You'll get to see her today, too," Nina smiled. "That should help."

"Why can't I see her more? Isn't there some rule or something that they can't keep me from seeing her?"

"You have to understand it's an hour drive into the city, sweetie," Nina explained. "They both work full time, even in the summer, and they have two young boys. It's difficult, I know, but we are all working together and doing our best. For now, phone calls are going to have to do."

"Phone calls will never be enough, though," I complained. "Isn't there a shuttle or something I can take? I understand they can't drive me into the city every day, but I could go on my own. I need to get back to work, too, at some point."

"Like I said, Liz, Gregory, and I are working together to help keep everything as normal as possible. They took you in last minute as an emergency placement. It was that or a group home, where you wouldn't even be able to make phone calls. Things will get better. I know it doesn't seem that way, but they will."

"They better," I grumbled, staring out the window. They had to.

The meeting with the lawyer went about how I expected it to. Avery didn't have a will or anything, so the state was in charge of distributing her property. Our parents left a lot of strict instructions when they died for how things were to be split up between the three of us, so many things were already taken care of.

As far as financials, any money Avery had saved for college was split between Brianna and me. I argued that it should all go towards Brianna's medical expenses, but Nina and the lawyer – Mr. West, or whatever his name was – convinced me that I should put it into my own savings account. It wouldn't help Brianna any if I wasn't able to provide for myself.

We got to the hospital around 3:00 PM. I practically ran to Brianna's room, and not even Nina could stop me.

"Livvy!" Bri shouted, sitting up and coughing when I walked in with Nina.

"Bri!" I responded with equal enthusiasm, chuckling. Bri coughed a few times, and I noted that she was definitely getting worse. It had only been a little over a day though, could pneumonia get that much worse?

"Are you okay, bug?" I asked her, handing her some tissues. She nodded.

"I'll be okay," she assured. There was something in her voice though that made me unsure.

"I see you survived last night's excitement," I tried to change the subject. I would find out later.

"Yeah, it was really scary. Drew wasn't able to come up until this morning, but that meant I got to have Turkish Delight for breakfast!"

"Oh boy," I rolled my eyes, chuckling. "No wonder you're so hyper!"

"What did you have for breakfast? Did your new family make you pancakes?"

"Oh yeah," I lied. I had a bowl of cereal and some hand fruit. "Chocolate chip. I even put whipped cream on them."

"Ugh, I'm so jealous!" Bri complained.

"It's not nearly as good as Turkish Delight, though," I pointed out. "That's the ultimate breakfast. You're spoiled."

"I know," she smiled her famous smile.

"So I get to be here with you all day," I told Brianna, repeating what Nina told me earlier when she first picked me up. "So what are we going to do?"

"Well, I have treatments today," Bri explained. "But Drew is coming for dinner before his shift, and – oh! He's bringing Rick!" She exclaimed.

"Who's Rick?" I asked, warily.

"Drew's hubby," Bri answered. "I didn't know about him, but Drew asked if he could come tonight since they usually had dinner together. You should stay so you can meet him too!" Brianna invited. "Can she stay, Nina?"

"I'll have to call Liz and Gregory, but I'm sure it will be fine."

"You're a saint, Nina!" I cheered, squeezing Brianna's hand. It was a tough transition, but Nina was trying her best.

"You're such a cheater!" I said to Brianna, definitely way to loud. Nina left about two hours to go handle some other cases, but she said she would be back around 7:00 PM so that I could get back to Liz and Gregory's before curfew.

About an hour ago, one of the nurses – Jocelyn, I think - brought in a deck of cards, and Bri and I were playing various card games. She had already been to her treatment, and was free for a while.

"Oh, hey Liv!" A man called while entering the room. I turned, and there was Drew with who I presumed to be Rick by his side. They were carrying pizzas. "I didn't know you would be here."

"Nina sprung me for the day," I teased.

"Only to get her butt kicked in cards," Bri stuck her tongue out.

"Because she cheats," I pointed out.

"You think I cheat," Bri argued. I shook my head.

"Girl, I know you cheat," I laughed. More coughing. Drew looked at Bri concerned, and walked over to check her file. He caught my eye, and mouthed later.

"Bri, Liv," Drew said, then pointed to the other man, "This is Rick. He's my husband."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," I stood up to shake his hand. He shook mine as well. Bri greeted him too.

"Drew was right," Rick chuckled. "The Matthews sisters are an interesting breed."

"That's what you told him?" Bri whined. "Of all the things!"

"But was I wrong?" Drew handed it right back. Bri just rolled her eyes. "We brought pizza, as you can tell. Rick, do you mind setting up while I talk to Liv?"

"Not at all," Rick answered. Drew motioned me outside of the room.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Well, I'm sure you've seen that Bri's gotten worse," Drew started. I nodded.

"I told you this was going to happen," I hissed. I wasn't happy.

"We thought we could get ahead of this, but she's getting worse too fast. It's not good, Liv, but we've got a plan. I've already talked to Brianna about it. She's okay, so I need you to be okay with this too."

"What do you mean 'it's not good?'" I asked him. "I need details, Drew."

"Her Pneumonia has gotten to a point where her lungs can't recover on their own. We're pushing antibiotics, but that's the best we can do right now. We've got her on every lung donor list in the country, and I will check it every single day."

"Lung donor? She's going to need a lung transplant?" I ran my hands through my hair. Why couldn't the universe cut me a break?

"Hey, Liv, Liv," Drew took my hand, and made me look at him. "What I said to you last night still stands. I am taking care of this. I am taking care of Brianna. I need you to keep taking care of you. She needs you to be brave and strong."

"She's going to get worse," I stated, then I remembered our insurance situation. "Drew, we don't have any money."

"Don't worry about that right now," Drew assured. "Brianna has already won over half this hospital. I promise you that we are all doing everything we can to keep her safe and comfortable."

"I need to move back to the city," I sniffled. My breathing sped up. I couldn't do this. I couldn't lose another sister. I couldn't go back to bumfuck nowhere knowing that she was dying.

"You need to take care of yourself," Drew insisted. "If that means going home to a family instead of a dirty group home, that's what that means."

"Drew," I sank down to the floor. I couldn't do this.

"I know," he said. "I know."

"She knows?" I asked him. He nodded.

"We talked about it this morning, before I went home," he disclosed. "She is convinced she isn't going to get lungs."

"What if she doesn't?" I asked him. "What if she dies?"

"I won't let that happen," Drew sat down next to me.

"You can't promise that," I told him, shaking my head. "I'm doing a shitty job of being a big sister," I choked.

"No you're not," Drew disagreed. "You're doing an amazing job. You call her, you talk to her, you visit her and play cards, you tell her everything is going to be okay, and you love her. You can't save her from Cystic Fibrosis, Liv. She loves you. She never shuts up about you. You just have to convince her that you're okay, because you should be the last thing she is worrying about. So, go to the bathroom, wipe your face, and let's eat some pizza."

"We got really lucky with you, Drew," I told him. "I know you told me to stop thanking you, but I just can't believe how in this sea of unfortunate events we have you."

"I got you, Liv," he squeezed my shoulder. "Come on," he helped me up.

"Welcome home," Liz smiled. She was up working on her computer when I walked through the door.

"I'm sorry I missed dinner," I apologized. I knew mealtimes were big in this family.

"I understand. We're not trying to be evil, Olivia," Liz offered. "We just need to have boundaries. We get a lot of different types of kids here."

"Jeffrey is incredible," I acknowledged.

"I hope you stick around long enough to get to know Nathan, too," Liz smiled. "They're great boys."

"Did you adopt both of them?" I asked. Liz nodded. "Why? What made you want to do this?"

"Gregory is a teacher," Liz answered. "I work with homeless shelters and at-risk youth. We've both seen kids go through a lot. Some we could save, and some we couldn't. We knew we could do more, so we did."

"I appreciate that," I told her. "Is it okay if I go to bed now?" I asked.

"Of course. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Good night," I whispered to her before walking upstairs. I stopped at the top, where Jeffrey was playing on his floor with his dinosaur set.

"Hey, Jeffrey," I said from the doorway. He looked up. "Wanna hear another secret?" he nodded.

"I'm really happy to be your big sister," I smiled, messing his hair up. "You can wake me up if you need to, okay?" Jeffrey nodded again, smiling this time. I said goodnight and walked out.

I couldn't protect Bri from her disease, but I could protect Jeffrey from his nightmares. I couldn't fall apart in front of Bri, but I could close my door and fall apart here.

"Please," I begged, curling up in my bed and crying. "I don't know what I did, and I don't know what your plan is, but if you're up there, please save my sister."