Chapter 6: A Mother's Pain

Bella's POV

I quietly sobbed as I walked through the forest. Something that I had grown accustomed to doing over the past 12 years. Ever since the day my baby girl had been stolen from us.

I can still remember the day she disappeared without a trace like it was just yesterday. I left Nessie with my father because I knew she had been dying to see him and he had been dying to see her again. My father never once questioned why his five month old granddaughter looked like a five year old human girl but he loved her as much as he loved me. Maybe even more than he loved me.

I had told Nessie that her father and I needed to get some things done but that wasn't true. The truth is that Edward and I just wanted, ahem, adult time. Being intimate with each other had become impossible because our daughter's sensitive hearing caused her to wake up at even the slightest creaking of a bed.

Getting Nessie out of the house had been my idea which is why I placed 100 percent of the blame on myself. If I hadn't been so selfish, if I hadn't put my needs first, my daughter would still be here where she belongs. With her family.

I'll never forget that fateful call I received from Charlie that day. My father was never one to express a lot of emotions but he was actually in tears as he struggled to tell me what happened.

Renesmee had disappeared. He left her alone for a few minutes while he went to use the bathroom and when he came back she was gone. She was nowhere in sight. He called the rest of his friends back at the station, alerted mall security, and searched the entire mall for her but no one could find her. That's when he called me and gave me the news.

I was in hysterics as I called the rest of the family. Edward was angry. He wanted to kill Charlie for letting her out of his sight. I had never seen my husband so angry or scared for that matter. Like me, he would have given his life for her.

By the time we arrived at the mall we couldn't even trace her scent anymore. There was people and cops everywhere. The cops had brought scent hounds to search the entire place. There was simply to many people so her scent disappeared. No dog or vampire could track her. Mall security cameras didn't turn up anything either. It was as if she had simply vanished.

Over the next several days we all went crazy looking for her. Jacob and his pack searched all of Canada, Edward and I searched the entire United States, while everyone else searched Mexico and South America. She was nowhere to be found though and that scared me to death.

After a few days we all went to Italy and broke into the Volturi castle but they were innocent. Edward reluctantly confirmed that they were telling the truth when they said they had no knowledge of Nessie's disappearance. Are even offered to send some of his guard to help us search.

If it weren't for Jacob we would've given up hope years ago. Jacob said that he knew it in his heart that she was alive. Jacob said that as her imprintor he would know if she was dead. It was only a glimmer of hope after many many years of pain and heartbreak but it was all that we had left.

I stopped walking briefly when I came across my daughter's scent. I followed the scent which led me to a house that I had never seen before. My daughter's and her sister's scent completely surrounded the house.

I peeked inside and saw my daughter sitting inside holding her baby brother. Along with her sister they were watching some Netflix show.

I had to fight hard not to cry whenever I was around her. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was so grown up now which made me extremely sad. I had missed her entire childhood. I didn't get to see my own daughter grow up. I had spent so many years looking for her and now that I found her she was a complete stranger to me.

"Nessie can you stop watching that already?" her sister Annie asked.

"Oh please 13 Reasons Why is so much better then that crap you call entertainment,"

"But it's depressing as hell," Annie said.

I watched my daughter take a deep breath. She looked so beautiful and so grown up. I wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth. I wanted her to know that I was her real mother. I wanted my baby back.

"Well Annie I can relate to Hannah a lot actually,"

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Feeling lonely, the bullying, the rumors. Thanks to Jasmine most of the school thinks I'm a slut and I'm actually Nathan's mother,"

"But that's not true,"

"Yeah well it doesn't matter when everyone thinks it's true. After our parents died and Nathan got sick I got really depressed I actually thought about ending it all myself,"

I could not believe what I was hearing. My daughter actually thought about killing her self?! Why would she do that?!

"What?" Annie asked.

"Don't ever tell anyone this Annie. This is our secret okay? I actually came really really close to doing it. I got dad's gun, you know the one he used for killing bears around here? I took it out to the woods with me. I ran into Kate out there. Lord only knows what she was doing out there. I told her what I was thinking about and she stopped me. She reminded me that I still you and Nathan and the rest of the Denalis. That I wasn't alone,"

"Nessie how could you think about doing something like that?" her sister asked. She was almost in tears.

"It doesn't matter," Nessie answered.

I wanted to scream. It doesn't matter! My daughter wanted to kill herself but she doesn't think it matters!

"You know I called the Denalis like two weeks ago and they never called me back. Kate was acting really weird when I called and I haven't heard from her since,"

I couldn't stay there another minute or I was going to lose it for sure. My precious baby girl actually thought about ending her life. I didn't care if the thought only entered her head once the fact that she even considered it scared me and upset me to no end!

I didn't know what what to do anymore. We had found her but she needed help. More so then we had realized before.

To think we never would have found her if we hadn't decided to visit the Denalis. It had been Carlisle's idea actually. He was the one who said a visit was long overdue and we should go see them.

Esme went into town one day to buy some things. It was then that she came across my daughter's scent. She followed it and it led her to a baby store my daughter happened to be in at the time. She knew it was her right away and called us. We all went down there as fast as humanely possible, which felt even slower than usual at the time. By the time we got there Nessie was already paying for her items. Some diapers, wipes, and baby formula I think.

Nessie never noticed us silently watching her that day. Carlisle thinks her human side became dominant and her vampire genes had become dormant or inactive. We just have no idea why or to what extent. Carlisle was itching to run some tests on her and see if he could determine what happened.

All that really mattered to me though was that we had found her. What I didn't understand is why the Denalis never told us anything when they knew she went missing all those years ago and we've been going crazy trying to find her ever since!

We noticed that the Denalis were acting strange when we visited. Edward said they were trying to keep a secret but they were very good at hiding their thoughts. They were more edgy and jumpy than normal. Something was up and we asked but they always brushed it aside. We never, in a million years, would've guessed that my daughter was the reason! I had never felt so angry and betrayed.

They knew she was missing and never once said anything to us! They knew her for two years and never said anything to us!

We still haven't confronted the Denalis about this. We needed to figure out how we were going to address the issue in a calm cool manner. We were all equally upset and angered by what they had done. Even Carlisle which is really saying something because he never gets angry or upset about anything!

Betrayal hurts. The question is could I ever forgive this type of betrayal? Could any of us?

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