Of Bedhead Kittens and Megane Aliens
Pairing: Oikawa Tooru/Kuroo Tetsurou
Rating: PG
Summary: In which Oikawa's inner sense of worthless creeps up on him, but Kuroo's right there to pick up the pieces.
Notes: Inktober for Writers: Day 5: Fallen.
Sometimes Oikawa finds it difficult to pick himself back up after a fall. Not in a literal sense, but every once in a while, he gets slammed with the negative and vile thoughts he works so hard to keep under wraps. When this happens, he can't shake the notion that everything he's done in his life, all the sweat, tears, and sheer effort he's put into achieving every goal, is all for nothing. It doesn't matter how hard he tries, he'll never be good enough. There will always be someone far more talented than he is, someone whose natural abilities exceed the skills he's honed and perfected to the best of his capabilities, and it makes him sick. Those feelings always seem to compound on him, causing him to feel small, insignificant, and utterly worthless.
When this happens, he usually takes off in some unknown direction, walking aimlessly until his tired feet just won't carry him any longer. His endpoint is never the same, but this time he's fortunate enough to end up at the park, where there are plenty of benches for him to rest. He'll continue on, or go back later, he hasn't really decided yet. The notion that he's forgotten his phone crosses his mind, but he can't bring himself to care. No one would bother looking for him anyway — opening his phone to a screen without at least one message would only drag him down more at this point.
Just when he thinks that all hope is lost, he feels someone stepping into his personal space. He looks up, only to see a hand reaching out to him, offering to make everything right again. All Oikawa has to do is take it.
He really shouldn't be surprised to see Kuroo standing over him, waiting patiently for him to grab ahold of his hand. This exact scenario has happened more times than he cares to count, but the initial shock accompanying the realization that Kuroo's come for him once again never wears off.
As always, Oikawa reaches out, but then stops midway. He can't help but hesitate for the briefest of seconds, wondering if he deserves to be pulled out of this. With the claws of insecurity burrowed within him, he is certain he's not good enough for anything, and especially not Kuroo's presence.
But before Oikawa can withdraw his hand, Kuroo reaches out to take ahold of it, and uses his grip to pull him up into a standing position.
"How did you know where to find me?" The question leaves his mouth before he can even think to ask.
"My Tooru senses were tingling," Kuroo declares without missing a beat, wearing a bright, triumphal grin.
Kuroo's smile is so contagious that despite the sense of worthlessness that ran rampant in his mind just before Kuroo found him, he can feel the corners of his mouth turn upwards in a small smile. "Don't be lame." He tries to wave off Kuroo's corny behavior.
"I followed the milk bread crumb trail?" Kuroo tries again, the inquiry on his voice makes him sound less confident than before, but he's still smiling. Oikawa will always be grateful with how hard Kuroo tries to brighten his day.
"Tetsu." As fond as he is of Kuroo's sense of humor, sometimes Oikawa needs Kuroo's support without the jokes.
"Okay, okay," Kuroo puts his hands up, as if he's decided to come clean and admit to the truth. "I went about it the old fashion way and just started looking for you."
Oikawa had already known this, yet he wanted to hear Kuroo say it without any teasing. Now that he's really looking at Kuroo, he can see how exhausted Kuroo is, which means that he'd probably been searching for him all day.
"I didn't ask you to." Oikawa's elated to have someone like Kuroo, who's always ready to come after him, he really is. But at the same time, he doesn't think he deserves this, so he always puts on an act that suggests he's annoyed Kuroo would put forth the effort on his own accord.
As always, Kuroo offers him a softer, more genuine smile that's reserved only for him, and Oikawa knows his ruse has been seen through.
"Nah, but I always will." Even without his whimsy, Kuroo is as smooth as ever. He doesn't explain more than that, and Oikawa doesn't ask. He lets Kuroo take his hand again and give it a small squeeze before bringing it to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on the knuckles.
"You hungry?"
"No." His answer is automatic and said without thinking about it. He doesn't remember the last time he's eaten, but that hardly matters. Now that he's been found, he just wants to go home, curl up in a warm blanket, and more importantly, stop burdening Kuroo with his problems. It's not fair to him, and Oikawa is just knows that one of these days, Kuroo's going to get fed up and leave him for good, which is something Oikawa doesn't know if he'll be able to handle. He'd much rather spare Kuroo some grief when he can, so maybe Kuroo won't get burnt out, at least not for a little while longer.
"Hey." As if Kuroo knows exactly what's going on in his treacherous mind, he lets go of his hand in favor of cupping his cheeks, forcing him to meet his gaze. Oikawa instinctively wants to pull away, but he can't move, not when those gorgeous hazel eyes have him trapped.
"I love you."
Those three little words are so simple, but they mean the world to Oikawa. He can't understand how Kuroo manages to brighten his entire world so easily, but when Kuroo's voice is so earnest and his eyes so honest and passionate, Oikawa knows it's the truth.
"I love you too." His voice is barely above a whisper, but with the way Kuroo starts beaming at him like a kid on Christmas, Oikawa knows he heard.
As if on cue, Oikawa's stomach starts grumbling, effectively betraying his earlier words and making his hunger known to both Kuroo and himself.
"So, about food," Kuroo snickers as he reaches down to give Oikawa's stomach a light pat. "I'll buy you some milk bread," he offers before sliding his hand into Oikawa's.
"I don't want any." There's no way Kuroo would ever believe such a lie, but he can't help but be obstinate for a moment longer.
"Oh?" Kuroo raises a questioning brow. "Not even a little?"
"Hmm," he hums a bit, as if he needs to think about it. "Maybe just a nibble." Returning Kuroo's smile, he leans in to press a gentle kiss to Kuroo's cheek.
The resulting grin on Kuroo's face makes his heart skip a beat, and once again, Oikawa's reminded of why he's so madly in love with Kuroo. "Maybe two nibbles?" He asks before giving Oikawa two kisses on his cheek.
"Maybe three," Oikawa replies before returning Kuroo's gesture with three more kisses and leading them in the direction of the nearest bakery.
Soon enough, he finds himself smiling so much that his jaw hurts, but the miniscule pain is nothing when he feels like the storm cloud that's been hanging over him has finally moved on, giving way to the brilliant ray of sunlight that manifests itself in the form of the sly ruffian with perpetual bedhead Oikawa loves with every fiber of his being. He wants to thank Kuroo for sticking with him, but every time he tries, Kuroo leans over and kisses him before he has the chance to say anything, as if he's telling him in his own special way that he needn't explain a word, simply because he already knows.
Even now, crippling self-doubt still lingers at the edge of his psyche, but Oikawa doesn't let it drag him down any further. He's a strong individual, he's gotten through the low points before, and he'll do it again. Only now, he has Kuroo to help him pull through, and the fact that he has Kuroo at all makes him think that maybe, just maybe, he is good enough.