AN: Yes I'm still alive.
And I finally have internet…thank god, but I'm not returning to my weekly update routine,
simply because I don't think I could manage it at the time. I'm probably going with monthly
right now. This may change if I find a solution to my crazy schedule, but for now I just don't have enough energy, between work and school. I'm really sorry.
If you decide to stick with my stories I'd be overjoyed!
If not, I can understand that too.
But to everyone who still reads this, you're wonderful!
And before I forget, let me give a big shout out to FeliciaRei!
Without her I wouldn't have been able to finish this chapter.
THANK YOU!
And you all should go read her story: 'Our Magic!', if you haven't already.
It's sooo awesome!
Aaaand I'll stop rambling now.
Enjoy^^
2018
Chariot wasn't sure what was worse. The fact that Diana Cavendish knew her real identity or that she was currently way too underdressed for their apparently 'long due' conversation, being only clad in some of…Croix's she guessed, sleep wear, which was almost as 'fashionable' as the tech witch's normal attire. Who would have thought that her ex-girlfriend would develop such an extravagant style over the years?
Certainly not her, although Croix trying to distance herself from her reputation as the school prodigy had started almost as soon as they had met each other back then. And she had told her from time to time she wanted to adapt her outer appearance to the person she really was inside…
But what did she want to tell the world about herself with her present wardrobe choices?
That she was cool?
A rebel?
Into Bondag-
No!
She should probably not go there…ever!
Diana for her part didn't seem bothered at all by her appearance, maybe because she herself wasn't faring any better, wearing only a white nightgown, as she ceremoniously sat down at the desk, crossing her legs and fixed the young Professor with a…stern glare?
'Huh?'
Why did she feel like she was about to be lectured?
An uneasy silence stretched between them as Chariot sat up, deciding to forgo her fake glasses altogether, which she finally spotted behind her on a nightstand, laying next to her wand. She didn't need them anyway.
"So-", she fidgeted awkwardly, cursing herself for the faint waver in her voice and the distinct flash of yellowish - green light blinking at her almost mockingly from the desk, causing the blonde witch to glance at it out of the corner of her eyes, a puzzled expression on her face.
Chariot's face flushed slightly.
Why, of all the things Croix could have invented, did it have to be some kind of emotional tracker?
And why did she have to build it in her goddamn secret weapon, no less?
'To let her know what you're feeling.'
Yes, she knew that, but couldn't she have used something smaller? Something that wouldn't draw so much attention to it? Did she really have to use those flashy lights?
'The same lights you described to her.'
Which she wouldn't have if she had known-
'But you did! This is your fault!'
No!
Her vision became fuzzy as Croix's groggy face appeared before her inner eyes, smiling a strained smile, looking oh so exhausted.
Looks like we're bonded for life now!
'Croix…'
Magic sparked hotly inside her, as she instinctually stretched her senses to search for…
Don't cry, Chariot. We will always be together, I promise!
'Croix!'
Energy swirled beneath her fingertips, as her eyes unfocused altogether, dulling her self-awareness…and Croix's smile-
God she loved her smile!
-became so intoxicating and Chariot wanted, no needed to…
That's not what happened! You have to believe me, Chariot!
Something shifted inside her, clicked into place, as her resistance crumbled and…she became numb.
Or did she become cold?
She couldn't say.
All that she knew was that she couldn't let go of…
Of what?
What made her feel like this?
A faint voice reached her ears, calling for…her?
She wasn't sure. It was too muffled and sounded so far, far away.
Her magic reacted instantly, humming in approval, as she began to continue her search for the source of the persistent cold that seeped so easily through her defenses, disregarding the voice.
She could feel the strands of magic around her, whispering to her, urging her to follow them instead, but she needed to…needed…
'Croix…'
It was just so cold, but something about it was weirdly comforting…almost familiar…
'Croix…'
One of the strands pulsed strongly as she touched it softly and-
'HURTS!'
Pain!
It was simply everywhere, blocking her, taunting her, engulfing her.
The strand was ruffed and battered, but she couldn't break from it.
Her ears were ringing as her senses were flooded with emotions, tattered and broken emotions, almost too disfigured to gather what they were about. The only clear reading she got from them was the ominously strong thirst for revenge.
'Croix!'
But it couldn't be her!
That was impossible!
Chariot had fixed this!
Exactly like she had explained it to her.
So there was no way…
"Ursula-Sensei?"
…there was no way…
"Sensei?"
'Huh?'
Who?
Ursula?
But that wasn't her name, was it?
'I'm…'
"Chariot?!"
A pair of arms were suddenly on her shoulders, as someone pushed her frantically on her back, startling her out of her…daze?
Her vision began to clear, as she looked up, right into the panic stricken, blue eyes of Diana, her expression a mixture of guilt and concern.
"Can you hear me now?"
The younger witch's voice was gentle and warm. Gone was the stern, disconcerting glare from earlier. A bit sluggish Chariot nodded her head, the cold inside her slowly dissipating, as her walls finally seemed to function again, leaving an all too familiar void in its place. Diana still hovered over her. Her eyes scanning every inch of her face, until she let out a relieved sigh, withdrawing her hands from the redhead's shoulders.
"Thank god! For a moment I thought you were-"
The noise of fast footsteps coming nearer let the blonde stop in her tracks, as her face grew rapidly alarmed. A few moments later Chariot caught on why.
Her hair was still red.
She hadn't attempted to change it back to its usual blue hair color, because she hadn't trusted her magic enough, not after what had happened with Woodward.
Throwing a quick glance to something behind her, the blonde witch scrambled hurriedly onto the bed, straddling the redhead in the process, as she reached for the wand on the nightstand. Startled, Chariot blinked owlishly at the blonde on top of her, fighting against the last remnants of haze that still clung to her.
Soft tingles ran down her spine, as Diana's hand grazed her hair, making her head spin wildly. Her breath hitched suddenly when it trailed gently over her chin, keeping it from turning towards the sound of the steady footsteps that drew nearer and nearer. A quiet murmur could be heard, as the younger witch tapped the wand against her hair and an odd feeling of calmness washed over her, quenching the unruly magic still cursing through her body, hot flames flickering and dying down.
'Huh?'
What was going on here?
As if in trance, Chariot extended her own hand and placed it over the younger witch's heart, the rhythmical beating of it drumming against her fingertips.
She had no Idea what she was doing, or why, but when Diana grasped her hand carefully, almost tender, she felt weirdly content all of a sudden. As if time had frozen for them.
I hope we'll meet again someday, Diana.
Don't worry, we will.
'…huh?'
What…?
"Well, this is definitely a unique way to 'talk' to someone."
Chariot turned her head towards the door awkwardly, trying to find some semblance of normality, something that would help ground her, so she could finally start to get whatever was going on right now. And the monotonous drawl from the young, intruding witch she recognized as Sucy was giving her exactly what she needed.
Clarity.
Her face flushed red as she realized what kind of position her and Diana currently were in and how it must have looked like to Akko's friend. Pulling her hand back hurriedly, she peered back to the blonde who had straightened herself up, but contrary to her expectations hadn't moved off of her, apparently too occupied with glaring at Sucy.
"Are you following me around now?"
The coldness with which she uttered those words threw the young Professor off.
Did something happen between those two?
What had she missed while she was unconscious?
"As if", came the retort and Chariot couldn't help but glance from one of her students to the other, feeling horribly out of the loop, "but as soon as Akko said she couldn't find you I had my suspicions about your whereabouts and it seems like I was spot on."
"I wasn't aware that talking to one of our professors was prohibited."
Rolling her eyes Sucy's expression soured slightly.
"You're still trying to play dumb? Really?
Normally I wouldn't care either way, but have you spend one thought about how hurt Akko will be when she finds out?"
Pointing her finger accusingly on the still totally bemused Chariot on the bed, caused the redhead to freeze in response.
So the mushroom loving witch did know her real identity after all?
But how?
She wasn't even sure how Diana had figured it out in the first place.
And Akko…
'Oh my god, Akko!'
She couldn't find out like this.
It had taken her every ounce of self control not to reveal herself to the energetic witch when she told her about the Seven words of Arcturus. She had made the conscious decision to remain silent and instead use her secret as a form of motivation for her unsuspecting student, being fully aware of the fact that the longer she waited the more Akko would be hurt.
And she hated it.
She hated that she couldn't be the Chariot Akko wanted, that she deserved.
She hated that she had to deceive her like that.
'I'm sorry, Akko…
Please forgive me…'
One day she would tell her everything and maybe the brunette would be understanding enough that they wouldn't lose their relationship, but it would be simply disastrous if she found out now.
And from someone else as well.
No!
She couldn't let this happen.
"You can't tell Akko about this!", she stated with exasperation, pushing herself up and forcing Diana to scramble off of her from the bed, her now blue hair frizzling dangerously, straining against the magic that kept it trapped.
Sucy blinked slowly, as she mustered the young Professor's terrified expression, something akin to resignation flitting over her blank features.
"So you are encouraging it after all. I thought for a while that Diana was forcing you to do this, because you looked so helpless when I interrupted you two."
Encouraging to keep her identity a secret?
Diana forcing her to keep it a secret?
Helpless?
When Sucy interrupted?
But…
'We weren't even talking about me being Chariot, or Akko for that matter…
We…'
What had they done again?
'…
OH NO!'
Chariot's eyes widened comically, as she began to splutter waving her hands frantically in front of her.
"This…you have that wrong Sucy, Diana and I aren't…"
"We aren't what?"
Diana's face seemed sincere enough in her obvious confusion, that the Professor couldn't even entertain the idea that she was just playing along because she had some kind of plan for this situation.
"Uhm…"
Seriously, how did they even get into this mess to begin with?
"You know", drawled Sucy finally, shifting her attention back to the blonde, who put her hands on her hips, " Lotte tried to tell me there was another explanation for your behavior. That I was misinterpreting the whole thing and I almost believed her.
I almost believed her because the idea that you two had some secret affair was just ridiculous."
"…secret WHAT?"
Diana's eyes went wide, as her gaze skipped towards the blue haired teacher and back to her classmate, opening her mouth and closing it a moment after, seemingly speechless.
Could this situation get any weirder?
In a desperate attempt at damage control, she tried to reason with the mushroom loving witch.
"Sucy, please, we really don't have a…secret affair going on. Diana, like you, is just one of my students."
"Is that so…"
She sounded almost bored, as she cocked her head to the side, looking at her expectantly.
"So what didn't you want me to tell Akko then, Sensei?"
"…"
"That's what I thought."
She apparently hadn't missed the helpless look that Chariot had thrown towards the blonde, who had effectively schooled her features back into a nonchalant expression.
"I give you one last chance", the mushroom loving witch narrowed her eyes slightly, as she took a step towards Diana, dismissing Chariot's presence altogether, "because for whatever reason there is, Akko likes you. You have seven days!"
Whirling around, she went to the door, ripping it open.
"After that I'll tell her myself."
And with that the door slammed shut behind her, leaving the Professor and her student behind in stunned silence.
'Was Sucy always this angry and distrustful?'
Peering at the blonde standing beside her she attempted to lighten the mood by forcing one of her sheepish smiles she was so good at, but Diana only sighed, staring at the closed door and shook her head.
"I don't know what I did to aggravate her so much, but she is right in one regard", she paused to glance pointedly at Chariot, "we have to tell Akko."
'Huh?'
Sucy was right?
Surely that couldn't be true?
Why would Diana even think that?
She had been as confused by it as the Professor herself…right?
So why should they tell Akko that…
"That we're having an affair?"
It was actually kind of fascinating how fast Diana's face flushed as red as her own natural hair color.
"…wha- NO!", sputtered the Cavendish, fiddling nervously with the hem of her nightgown, as if she had suddenly fully realized how little she was actually wearing.
"Where did she even get such a ludicrous idea from?"
"…remember our position when she entered the room?"
"Ah, but that- I didn't mean to-
I just thought it would help you. When trapped in a dream falling backwards allows you to escape, so it was the most logical choice to push you."
'Who said I was dreaming?'
Still that sounded somewhat familiar.
Hadn't there been a movie about that some time ago?
"Where did you hear that theory?"
"I…read about it... somewhere", came the vague reply, confirming her suspicions.
A small smile flitted over Chariot's face.
"Well then", she said warmly, as she stared earnestly into the younger witch's blue eyes, "thank you, Diana."
The tension left her tired body and Diana too, seemed to relax a bit, seating herself across from the teacher, sighing softly.
"Nevertheless, the fact remains that you should probably tell Akko-"
"Tell me what?"
Chariot pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation as she turned around, barely able to stifle a groan at the sight of the brunette witch and her ex-girlfriend standing in the doorway.
Could she really never get a break?
The tech witch's eyes locked with hers and a smug, almost satisfied smile spread over her face, as she leaned casually against the door, raising her eyebrows expectantly.
…apparently not.
August 2006
Croix was sick.
Or that's what Chariot hoped for at least. Not that she wanted her girlfriend to suffer through an illness, but since the sudden revelation that the older witch was able to feel her emotions, her condition had severely worsened. As had her attitude towards her.
The past week Croix had alternated between being overly clingy or downright verbally assaultive and it worried the redhead to no end.
But as her concern grew so did her frustration.
She knew how Croix could be when she felt cornered and lashed out, but this was getting out of hand.
What even was her problem?
Feeling her emotions?
Was that really that bad?
It's not as if they were stronger than other people's emotions…right?
'Are you sure?'
A wave of uneasiness washed over her, as she fidgeted awkwardly in her comfy chair, trying to focus her attention back on the book she originally wanted to read.
Who would have thought that she would be glad to sit quietly in the guest room instead of causing havoc with her girlfriend?
Or just wanting to keep her company in general?
A muffled groan could be heard from the other side of the door, causing her to sigh designated, as she lowered the book and threw it on her bed. Exiting her room, she turned off the lights and padded through the dark, lonesome corridor towards Croix's doorstep. A faint rumble accompanied the steady raindrops hammering against the glass of the extravagantly large windows adorning the mansion.
Entering silently Chariot narrowed her eyes and searched the room with her gaze.
Nothing seemed to be out of order.
Croix still laid in her bed where the redhead had left her two hours ago when the older witch's fever had returned with so much vigor that Chariot had almost asked the domestic servants for help.
Only a certain, incredibly stubborn witch had pleaded and debated with her to stay quiet and in the end they had compromised that Croix should lay down and if it wouldn't get better in the morning they would inform the staff.
Wandering to the bed she took her sleeping girlfriend's temperature and was immensely relieved when it became clear that her fever had gone down again.
She could have left right then. Returning to her own room, maybe finally reading that book she had brought with her, but when her eyes stumbled over the familiar laptop on the abandoned desk, she was overcome with the need to figure out what happened with Croix.
Deciding in a split second she walked to the computer and switched it on, sitting down in front of it, as the screen flickered to live. Skimming through some files, she searched for the last updated folder.
Maybe knowing what Croix had worked on before she got…'sick'…would help her understand what happened…or maybe how it would have been possible for her to gain access to Chariot's emotions.
Weirdly enough she found it almost immediately, under the label of: "Emotional research".
Something tingled down her spine, cold and unpleasantly, at the sight of it, though she didn't know why. Her bad feeling even intensified as she opened the folder to be greeted by other, different files, probably being filled with information about emotions in general, and three differently colored ones, named:
"Test subject 1 – February 2004
Test subject 2 – June 2006
Test subject 3 – August 2006"
'What…?'
Test subjects?
From the experiment they had done last week?
If so then…
Chariot clicked nervously on 'Test subject 3' and was greeted with an overview of herself. Her name, her birthday, her nationality, her height, her weight, her hair color, her eye color and so on. There were a bunch of confusing charts and numbers depicted, but they didn't seem to have been evaluated at the moment, probably because the older witch hadn't gotten to that part yet.
She scrolled to the end of the file and scrunched her face, as she read the small note attached to the last chart.
/The subject is an extremely selfless individual and values eliciting joy in others – may suffer from an inferiority complex. The subject's feelings appear to be on the normal scale in general. Yesterday's test however showed a highly dshk/
'A highly what?'
Seemed like the note wasn't quite finished. Maybe because Croix wrote it on the day she collapsed…
That could be possible…
The redhead shuddered abruptly and without any forewarning.
She felt really uncomfortable being called a 'subject'.
'May suffer from an inferiority complex….'
That was not how Croix saw her…was it?
'Don't be stupid!'
Of course not! Croix was a scientist and this was scientific speech, nothing more and nothing less!
Still…
It did make her feel uneasy…
She should probably talk to her girlfriend about this when she felt better.
Skimming the other folder again, she stared pensively at the other test subject files.
The one from June 2006 made her curious.
Just whom had Croix asked to help?
And why hadn't she said anything to her?
Shrugging slightly, she clicked on the folder 'Test subject 2'.
Only to be requested to enter a password.
'Huh?'
Well, it made sense for someone like Croix to protect her research with passwords. She tried to cancel her action and got the option to view a safety question to help her remember in case she had forgotten it. Going along with it Chariot ended up with…nothing.
Yes, nothing!
No question, or keywords, or…whatever, just a blank space…
'How odd.'
Blinking slowly at the screen, she went back to the last test subject file, labeled 'Test subject 1', and experimentally clicked on that one too. As expected, the request for a password popped up again. She copied her steps from last time and got to the option to view the safety question, only this time instead of a blank space an actual question appeared:
"What is magic?"
'What is magic?'
A believing heart was her magic…
But that couldn't be it.
Croix hadn't known her in 2004 and it appeared she had started her research way sooner than the redhead had thought, so…
What was magic?
Magic was cultivated through the accumulation of lasting traditions and assiduous research, or at least that was what the teachers preached at school.
But that's not what magic was at all!
'What is magic?'
Magic made people smile.
Magic could help better their lives.
Magic was…beautiful!
'And destructive!'
Flashes from the incident of the flying competition swam before her inner eyes. The screams, the sheer panic and helplessness…the 'Void', being ripped apart-
She stomped those thoughts down as soon as she heard her girlfriend moan in pain behind her, causing her to peek over her shoulder on high alert.
But Croix still hadn't woken up from her now fitful sleep.
As she faced back to the screen a twinge of annoyance swirled through her.
Now she even had to be more careful about what she felt?
Really?
She had a right to her emotions!
…
Her eyes went wide, as it suddenly clicked.
Emotions!
'That's it!'
Magic was emotion!
Wild and untamed. A power to be reckoned with.
The whole premise on which Croix worked at. She even had told her one time that the Claiomh Solais reacted simply on her feelings.
Staring at the screen apprehensively, her fingers hovered over the keyboard uncertain.
Should she really try to read a password protected file?
Wouldn't that be a violation of trust?
'…it could help Croix!'
Yes, she needed to think about the wellbeing of her girlfriend. Besides, she had already seen her own 'test subject' info. Surely it couldn't get weirder than that.
Slowly she typed in the answer: emotion
…
And the file opened.
But Chariot's joy at that was short lived, as she read its content, making her wish so badly she would have left it alone.
/Test Subject 1
Name: Croix Meridies
Gender: Female
Nationality: French
Hair color: lilac/lavender
Eye color: green
Age: 15
-/
She skipped the rest of the overview, she knew most of it anyway, and scrolled to the end of the file.
Everything inside her screamed to just exit it and pretend to have never seen it, but…she couldn't.
/The subject appears to be an independent, young and healthy individual. The subject mostly isolates themselves, but depicts a variety of social skills, helping them interact with their social surroundings.
They are highly intelligent and above all of their classmates.
Upon further investigation the subject's emotions are almost none detectable. The tests showed an abnormality. The subject's brain doesn't seem to register emotional words and pictures. As a result it is unable to grasp abstract concepts such as love and hinders the subject to be empathetic towards others, or view them like actual human/living beings. All concepts like emotions are merely words they know how to act on. Only primitive feelings like rage and anger seem to be genuine.
The subject values control and will not give it up under any circumstances.
Results:
The subject seems to suffer from conduct disorder…
There is no known way to medicate/treat/cure conduct disorder. It may disappear on its own.
If not, the subject will most likely be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder when they are of age./
'…what…?'
This…
This was impossible!
Croix…Croix wasn't like this.
Croix loved her!
'…unable to grasp abstract concepts such as love…'
Nonononononono!
She loved her!
Chariot was sure of it.
Maybe it was an ill thought out joke?
A coded language?
Another security measure to protect her research from other people's eyes?
'All concepts like emotions are merely words they know how to act on.'
It's not true!
It's not!
Something hot trailed down her cheek.
When had she started crying?
She raised her hand, tracing the wet line her tears left on her face.
She was shaking.
Croix's smile flashed before her inner eyes…
I love you…
Was that a lie?
The truth is you make me the happiest person on earth.
How would that even be possible?
You are a blessing, Chariot!
STOP!
A strangled sob tore itself from her throat and everything inside her crumbled.
She hugged herself tightly, as she slumped more into the chair and broke down completely.
Wailing uncontrollably.
It hurt…
'So much…'
At the corner of her vision she saw something move towards her, but she didn't care.
…it just didn't matter anymore…
"Chariot?"
The sound of the familiar voice made the redhead shrunk even further into the chair.
'Croix…'
She felt the chair being turned around.
The older witch's eyes locked with her own, though Chariot only saw a green blur.
Croix frowned, as her gaze wandered to a point behind her, probably the still active screen, and then she just kind of froze.
At the same time the redhead felt a sudden spark of anger running through her, startling her.
What was that?
"Chariot, did you read that? You can't just-
Fuck!"
Any other day, she would have found it hilarious to hear her girlfriend curse so freely.
…any other day…
Croix crouched before her, her face a mixture of unadulterated fear and panic, the same things she felt cursing inside her and-
'Huh?'
Why was she afraid?
Why was she panicking?
Chariot was confused. Her feelings didn't make any sense at all.
All of a sudden she was pulled into a hug.
She didn't fight the familiar warmth that radiated from her girlfriend, instead she clung to it desperately. She needed Croix to tell her it was all a lie.
That she did love her.
That she wasn't suffering from some strange sounding illness.
She could feel the older witch's hand running soothing circles over her back, as she drew Chariot further into her, from the chair onto her lap, laying her head on top of hers.
For a while they stayed like this in complete silence. Only the faint pattern of the rain could be heard, accompanied by the redhead's hic upping breaths, as she slowly calmed down again.
She felt kind of numb at the moment…and heavy.
'So heavy…'
"I always knew I was different from other children", Croix's tired voice began to fill the silence between them, "They told me I was just maturing quicker than them. That they would catch up some day. Going through the same processes I did…but they never did."
She paused shortly and let out a shaky sigh.
"And I didn't care that they didn't. It made me special.
The first time I heard about 'conduct disorder' was at Luna Nova. One of the…more free spirited students from the upper year caused some serious outrage when she ridiculed Finneran-Sensei's philosophy of magic as molding us into unfeeling and distant sociopaths. In our next lesson with her she graciously tried to refute those accusations and showed us what antisocial personality disorder really was about, or conduct disorder, because you apparently can't be diagnosed as a sociopath when you are under the age of 18."
An edge of annoyance crept into her tone and oddly enough Chariot felt a tiny prickle of that herself.
"I always knew I was different…but after this lesson I finally knew why."
The redhead tensed and buried herself further into her girlfriend, squeezing her eyes shut in a desperate attempt to block out the world around her.
'Please…no…'
"Everything fit, but I wasn't satisfied with that. Because I was not an Idiot. Magic required strong emotional support to be of any worth in the long run, to make it lasting…more powerful…
So I decided I needed to learn how to feel, if I wanted to be the greatest witch of all times. I began to read about neuronal processes in our brain and my grand research about emotions had started…but everything changed when I met you."
"Me?", echoed Chariot, her voice still thick with tears.
It didn't sound like it belonged to her at all.
"Yes", reaffirmed Croix, her arms unconsciously tightening around the redhead, "When I looked into your eyes back then when you asked me about your show…I felt something. For the first time I felt something…and as we spent more and more time together I came to love you."
Warmth flickered faintly in the pit of Chariot's stomach, but…
'That's not me!'
Her eyes fluttered open with sudden clarity.
Anger, Fear, Annoyance, Frustration that hadn't been her at all. Those were…
'Croix!'
And the warmth she felt right now was…
"Maybe you did a miracle and healed me."
It didn't sound convincing at all and her girlfriend must have known that.
But still…
That warmth she had felt when the older witch had talked about her…
Hesitantly she pulled out of the embrace, straining a bit against Croix's hold on her, who seemed terrified of letting her go, but relented in the end. As Chariot stood up, so did she, as they faced each other, standing awkwardly before Croix's, now vacant, bed.
Staring right into her girlfriend's eyes, she prayed for everything in the world that she was right with her assumption.
That her time with Croix had been genuine.
"Tu m'aimes, Croix?"
She deliberately chose to speak those words in French. Something akin to understanding flashed through the older one's eyes, as she slowly interlocked their hands, her voice no more than a whisper.
"T'es l'amour de ma vie, Chariot."
The warm tingling from before returned, only ten times its strength, washing over the redhead, causing relieve to surge through her like it never did before.
'Croix loves me!'
Even when in reality she shouldn't be able to.
Croix loved her and she would be damned if she just up and left her girlfriend for something she had no control over and wanted to fix.
She could work with that.
Maybe if she…
She squeezed the older witch's hands and let herself feel the extend of her love for her, causing Croix to gasp and shudder violently, as she stumbled backwards a little, trying to loosen her hold on Chariot; getting more space between them, but she wouldn't let her.
Following after her Chariot pushed her softly onto the bed. She could feel Croix's irritancy pulsing through her. Now that she was aware of her presence she could easily discern the faint emotions from her own.
Climbing on top of her girlfriend, she straddled her, earning her another gasp from the other witch. Hurriedly she rid herself off her night shirt with an urgency she never thought she would feel again and watched with some fascination as Croix's eyes darkened and she tried to reach for her. Intercepting her hand Chariot grasped it gently and guided it to her heart, pressing it softly against her hot flesh.
"No!", she rasped breathlessly, "I want you to feel, Croix."
Leaving the other witch's hand where it was she leaned in and captured her lips, slipping her tongue in, as she massaged her girlfriend's neck. A quiet moan ripped itself from the older one and she began to squirm almost impatiently when Chariot's hands started to roam and wander over her heated body, playing with the hem of her nightgown.
The warmth inside of the redhead grew stronger and stronger, only disturbed by a faint but persistent pounding against her head.
Breaking their kiss she trailed upwards, pressing her lips softly against Croix's forehead, earning her a light groan, the hand over her heart twitching. Pulling back again she gently traced her girlfriend's face, who stared helplessly back at her.
"I love you", the older witch whispered desperately.
She was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the strength of their combined feelings. Overwhelmed by finally grasping what emotions were really about, as it shuddered through their bond, reinforcing Chariot's resolve.
'I'll never give up on you!'
2018
"Looks like she isn't here either."
Lotte's voice sounded apologetic, as she peered over Akko's shoulder into the vacant room before them. And here the brunette had thought things would finally calm down a little, but now it looked like she had to search for her newfound girlfriend after all…
What a bummer.
She had wanted to surprise her after class so they could both visit Professor Ursula, but when she got back to Diana's room the blonde was simply gone.
And it kind of worried the brunette.
This wasn't the first time Diana had broken down in front of her after all.
'Just…where are you?'
Hell they even had gotten Sucy onboard with them, to help with the search…even when hers and Akko's relationship was…rocky at best. Well Lotte might have mediated between them at first, but the mushroom loving witch surprised her with how…normal she behaved…normal for Sucy standard at least. It relieved Akko immensely that her friend came around, even if their interactions were still kind of forced on her part, but she could work with that. So yes, she was really thankful for Sucy's help…until she suddenly disappeared too. Leaving as soon as Akko had told them that Professor Ursula was awake again.
Not that she was angry about this. After all she already knew how Sucy felt about her, even if she still wasn't sure how she should even approach her friend with this kinda topic…
But right now she had other things to do and one of them just happened to involve the whereabouts of her girlfriend.
"Sheesh Diana, where did you go?"
"Don't worry Akko, I'm sure we'll find her", encouraged her Lotte from behind, placing a hand gently on her shoulder in a comforting way.
She was so glad to have her friend's support in this.
Stepping away from the doorway to the infirmary she turned around to face her teammate with a grateful smile and nodded vigorously.
"Yeah, she is bound to be somewhere in Luna Nova."
Akko's expression grew thoughtful, as she tried really hard to think of a place the blonde could have wanted to visit so urgently that she ignored the bed rest order Finneran bestowed upon her when the news of Diana's fast recovery reached her ears.
"Maybe she wandered to the library. She seems to be researching a whole lot lately…"
Under her serious gaze Lotte began to fidget nervously.
"Hey, I'm not gonna tear down the library just to search for Diana...probably…"
Akko grinned sheepishly at the bookworm, whose eyes widened comically at her…joke?
"No, that's not…"
Lotte wrung her hands awkwardly, her eyes flitting back and forth between them and the brunette, until she seemed to come to a decision, fixing the energetic witch with an uncomfortable expression on her face.
"You know…Sucy has this crazy Idea about Diana and…it kind of involves Ursula-Sensei too…in a sense…"
A crazy Idea?
Was that the reason Sucy behaved so strangely?
Not because she was angry at Akko for liking Diana, but something she believed the blonde to have done maybe?
'Ugh, why is this stuff so complicated?'
Akko groaned loudly, startling her friend.
She just wanted everything to be normal again…well…as normal as things could get in this school.
And that included that her friends and her girlfriend should get along.
"This crazy Idea has nothing to do with me and Diana being together…right?"
The silence that followed that question reminded the brunette of one fact:
She had never told her friends about that development!
'Oops'
As Lotte still failed to react Akko grew concerned.
"Uh…you see…Diana-"
"YOU'RE FINALLY TOGETHER?!"
'…huh?'
The bookworm practically beamed at her friend and grasped her hands in excitement.
"I so knew this would happen. It's just like in Night Fall volume 65 where Edgar went to a parallel universe and had to help his other self, who went to a boarding school, to win the heart of Belle there. She and AU Edgar bickered the whole time, until a tragedy befell her and she grew sick, which prompted AU Edgar to profess his undying love for her.
It was my favorite entry of the series, because their love transcended through different universes and was threatened by a relic that original Edward had brought with him which slowly destroyed their reality."
Akko cocked her head to the side and blinked owlishly at Lotte, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly as she tried to make sense of her rambling.
"Sooo…you're basically saying that me clashing with Diana all the time was because we were secretly in love with each other."
Calming down slightly the blonde smiled softly at the energetic witch.
"Well I wouldn't say love, but with how much you were raging about Diana in general, I had a pretty good Idea that you might like her a lot."
'That I might like her a lot?'
What about Diana?
Was Lotte thinking the same about her too?
Well…she did kiss Akko, so the liking part must have been there, but…
'She never told me…'
"You don't think I'm in over my head?"
Why was she suddenly so insecure about this?
Diana hadn't said anything of the sort…
'Because she evaded your question altogether.'
"I think if you make each other happy then it shouldn't matter what social status you have, or how good at school you are."
"That's right!", sounded a familiar voice behind them, causing Lotte to hurriedly pull her hands back, as they both whirled around, staring at Professor Croix, who leaned against the door to the headmistress office a few doors away from them "If Miss Cavendish doesn't accept you for who you are and is trying to force her opinion on you or urging you to change for her, she clearly doesn't love you!"
"Croix-Sensei!", exclaimed Akko loudly.
A wave of relief washed over her at the sight of the tech witch. If someone could help her find Diana it was her. And it never hurt to have a teacher on her side. Smiling brightly she tugged Lotte along and practically skipped towards the Professor, who waved shortly at them, reciprocating her smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop."
Croix did that a lot lately…apologizing, Akko surmised thoughtfully. Always saying sorry after one of her sudden mood swings or when she believed that she had upset her…
But she couldn't really fault the tech witch for that…not after what Chariot had done to her at least…
Which was still so hard to stomach. Even now, with what Croix said about Diana, she was probably referring to…
"Did…did Chariot do that to you?", the brunette asked carefully, earning her a dumbfounded look from Lotte, who, of course, didn't know about Croix's and Chariot's past relationship status.
Another thing she should probably tell her teammates. They were definitely in need of a bonding session. Maybe another movie night?
Her eyes met Croix's hooded gaze and she drove those thoughts to the back of her mind.
"In a sense…", drawled the Professor pensively, tapping her chin almost playfully and a shudder ran down Akko's spine, "though you can't really compare your relationship with mine, Akko."
'Oh!'
Lotte winced beside her at that comment, kneading her fingers, seemingly trying to decide whether to comfort her friend or not, but Akko already knew how to react to her teachers harsh words.
After all, it wasn't the first time she talked with the tech witch so casually.
"Huh? Why not?"
Intrigue flashed through Croix's eyes, as her smile widened almost predatorily.
"Because for me there was never a shred of doubt that Chariot loves me…"
She trailed off, mustering the brunette intensely, causing Akko to unconsciously straighten her back, as she held her gaze unwaveringly…until Croix sighed softly, breaking their eye contact and raised her hands in a defeated manner.
"But I digress. You haven't seen my missing patient by the way, have you?"
"No!", Lotte almost screamed, reminding both, Akko and their teacher, of her presence.
But as soon as the bookworm realized what she had done she shrunk into herself again, gripping her left arm nervously.
"Uh…we are searching for her too."
Akko looked at her friend sympathetically.
Of course poor Lotte was confused by their Professor's behavior, she hadn't been around her much beside in class and that meant she hadn't been able to get to know the real Croix.
"I see…"
"Sensei, maybe we can look for her together", suggested the brunette in an attempt to turn the tech witch's attention back to her.
"That's a great Idea, Akko. I think we should try-"
A loud bang of a door slammed shut interrupted her sentence, as the lone figure of Sucy made her way from the school entrance towards them. Her monotone stare didn't betray anything, but Akko still got the strange feeling that her friend was internally seething.
"So much for being delusional!", hissed the mushroom loving witch as she passed them, seemingly causing Lotte to panic slightly, as she turned after their teammate.
"Ah…Sucy wait!"
Walking a few steps after her, she paused, peeking over her shoulder, her expression apologetic.
"I guess Diana is with Ursula-Sensei, so you probably should head there, Akko."
'…she is?'
"Huh? How do you suddenly know that?"
"I…I explain it once I have talked to Sucy, I promise!"
As soon as Lotte finished her sentence she ran after the almost non recognizable shadow of Sucy, leaving a totally puzzled Akko behind.
Just what was that about right now?
Were her friends keeping secrets from her?
"Looks like you're stuck with little old me again", Croix's voice ripped her from her inner thoughts and her eyes snapped back to her teacher, who pushed herself away from the door, a playful smile adorning her lips.
Akko laughed awkwardly.
"You make it sound as if that would bother me."
"Doesn't it?"
What?
Did Croix really think she would be nuisance to the most terrible student that ever attended Luna Nova?
Granted, you had to get used to her…her unusual sense of humor, but that didn't mean she was terrible to be around to. To the contrary.
A spark of determination surged through the brunette. She couldn't let this stand!
"Of course not! You're one of my favorite teachers after all!"
Surprise flitted over Croix's face, as she blinked slowly at the brunette, but as soon as it came it disappeared, leaving an amused smile in its place.
"You flatter me. I'm not really the easiest person to get along with, or so I was told."
'Or so I was told?'
Akko didn't even want to know who had said something so hurtful to her.
"No!", she reaffirmed forcefully, standing her ground, " I mean, at first it was a bit hard to understand your behavior, but now that I know…
You…you were there for me, listening to my problems, helping Ursula-Sensei, helping Diana…
You're a wonderful person, Croix-Sensei, so please…don't talk so bad about yourself."
She almost flinched away, as the tech witch leaned closer and raised her arm to pat her head, but as soon as she caught on, she relaxed again, practically beaming at the older witch.
"Thank you, Akko. That means more to me than you can possibly imagine."
Cocking her head to the side, Croix's gaze wandered to the younger witch's belt.
"How is your Shiny Rod by the way? Still glowing ominously?"
"Huh? Eeh…no?
But one of the gems looks…kinda sick…I guess."
To be honest, she had totally forgotten about it. With Diana becoming her girlfriend and her sudden disappearance it simply slipped her mind.
Untangling the rod from her belt she held it towards the Professor, much like the last time she had analyzed it in her lab. The red glowing had completely subsided, but in its place a black spot had formed on the top left gem, marring its glass like look.
Croix bend curiously over the staff, but refrained from taking it from her.
"Hmm…"
All in all, the tech witch seemed pretty entranced, as she drew her Smartphone and began to type away.
"Sensei?", Akko asked tentatively, pulling the staff back slowly, choosing to ignore the quick flash of anger that flitted over Croix's face, as she straightened herself, "Yesterday you said that I was the new owner of the Shiny Rod, but…how can that be?"
Not looking up from her screen the Professor shrugged absentmindedly.
"You mean because of Chariot?
It's actually quite easy. You can simply give the rod up."
…she could?
That was news to her?
Why hadn't Professor Ursula told her about that?
"What? So Chariot gave the Shiny Rod up? Just like that?"
Tearing her gaze away, Croix's cold and calculating eyes met hers.
"You could say that…yes, but it's not so mundane, as to halfheartedly say you quit…
You have to mean it!"
An uncomfortable prickling spread through the brunette's hand which still held the Shiny Rod tightly in its grasp, making its way to her upper arm.
That didn't make any sense.
If Chariot gave it up she could have stayed with Croix, right?
She wouldn't have broken her heart…so why…?
Akko could feel her arm becoming numb.
"But if Chariot gave up, why is she still searching for the words?"
Croix laughed a short, hollow laugh, which sounded more like a bad cough, as she narrowed her eyes slightly, her gaze losing its focus. It kind of looked like she was very far away right now…
"Dedication probably. In that regard she is pretty similar to Miss Cavendish if you ask me. They both are incredibly talented at magic, have no real friends and stubbornly follow their goals to the very end even if they have to disregard their own health. I think the biggest difference between them is that your girlfriend is still stuck on her outdated traditions and Chariot was more like a free spirit…but I guess that was to be expected."
A small, gentle smile tugged at the corner of her lips, as her eyes cleared again.
"No one would be able to be exactly like Chariot after all."
"I…never really saw it like that…", Akko mumbled almost inaudible, the numbness in her arm slowly dissipating.
Diana being similar to Chariot?
Having no real friends?
Croix would know that about Chariot for sure, but Diana…?
Wasn't she the school prodigy?
Loved and celebrated by teachers and students alike?
But…what did she even know about the blonde?
Nothing the others didn't also.
What about her family?
Her hobbies?
Her dreams?
'I need to change that!'
You could say about Croix what you wanted, but whenever Akko needed advice from her she didn't sugarcoat it…not like Professor Ursula.
Not that she wasn't grateful for the blue haired teacher's kind words from time to time, but the younger witch tended to be disenchanted whenever the harsh reality caught up with her.
A gentle hand on her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts.
"Akko", Croix smiled charmingly at her, gesturing towards the school entrance, "shall we get going?"
French to English
Tu m'aimes? – Do you love me?
T'es l'amour de ma vie – You're the love of my life