Ana

Things had been going surprisingly well in the few weeks following Ana's return to Montesano.

She hated what she'd done, the instantaneous and selfish decision to ingest as many pills as she had in an attempt to mitigate the horrible hurt that was inside of her that night.

No.

She took a deep breath. Suicide. She'd attempted suicide. She'd been working very hard with her therapist on not sugar coating the things that had happened in her life. Trying to gloss over what Scott had done- molesting her. What Scott was- a pedophile. And what she'd done- tried to commit suicide. She needed to face the realities in order to overcome them. It wasn't always easy, but the suicide attempt had really been a final straw and catalyst to her being able to face the realities. If you'd asked her to admit to any of these things even a month ago, she would have denied them up and down and left and right and every other direction in the world. But now, after so much had happened, she could see the truth, could see Scott for what he really was.

And now she was able to start to heal.

After being able to admit to how she was manipulated and molested by this authority figure she should have been able to trust, Ana was able to really start digging into everything about her past and personality that made her susceptible to Scott's advances. Digging through her insecurities, her latent childhood abandonment issues, and her systematic isolation from the real world and how they were all things that kept the cycle going. She was flourishing in therapy, eager to work on herself, eager to learn how to break through all of that, how to identify it and what to do in the future to keep herself from letting insecurity and fear of the unknown from rising up and living out the rest of her life the way she wished she could.

It was what had led her to do the one thing she'd always wanted- enroll in school.

She was nervous. So, so nervous. But the kind of nervous that was born from excitement. She wanted this so much, wanted so much more from life than she'd had. And yes, she was behind everyone else, but she was still so young, and so capable. She could go back, even with the late start, and do something, do anything, be anyone she wanted to be.

Things with Ray were good, too. They'd had a couple of therapy sessions together where, with her therapist mediating the situation, she'd come clean to him about the basics of what had actually happened to her. It had been hard. Ray had cried. God, he barely ever got emotional, and he'd openly wept that day in Dr. Kingman's office. He took a lot of blame, which was never something she wanted to happen. But Dr. Kingman said it was normal for a parent to take on the blame for a situation like this, where their child was being systematically abused right under their noses and they had no idea. Together they worked through it, and Ana was pretty sure Ray had a set up couple of future sessions for himself to continue to work through it. But when all was said and done, they were both coping as best they could, while still wading through the mess that have been left in the wake of everything.

Another thing Ana tackled in therapy was Christian. She just wasn't sure what the right way to handle the situation would be with him, so she'd asked the doctor for help figuring out how to navigate it. She admitted to feeling terribly about basically leaving him blowing in the breeze after all he'd done to help her, but she know she was no good for him until she got her shit sorted out. Dr. Kingsman tried really pulling from her, her motives with him. She wanted Ana to make sure her interest in Christian was pure, and not her trying to attach herself to someone else for fear of going it alone. But Ana was sure. If there was anything she was sure it about right now, it was that she wanted the chance to try for a normal relationship with him. Dating. Real dates with dinner and movies and dates that end in kisses. She wanted to know what it felt like to be courted and cared about, and not just with anyone. With him. Because after everything, he'd more than proven that he legitimately cared about her, and had earned her trust over and over again, even when she'd caused him pain and heartache.

But he deserved the best. And she wasn't willing to put him through any more pain. She wouldn't risk hurting him again, not until she knew that she could offer him a better version of herself. That was why she'd kept contact between them so minimal. But today, she needed to talk to him. She'd gotten the letter of acceptance for school, and he was the one person she most wanted to tell. Because she felt like she owed him everything, and she never would have gotten here without him.

She took a deep breath and picked up the phone. She knew he knew about Scott and the whole college application thing, and how that had been the last straw of the situation that led to him finding her on the bathroom floor. She knew he was supportive and would be happy for her, truly happy to see her pursuing that goal, so she wanted to tell him.

"Ana," he breathed into the phone as soon as he answered. There was so much emotion behind just the way he said her name.

"Hi, Christian," she said shyly.

"How are you," he asked eagerly. "How is everything? How's Ray? And Montesano? What have you been up to?"

She couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up her throat at how quickly he spoke. It was obvious he was excited to hear from her, and it was so sweet that he cared.

"I'm good. Ray is good. Montesano is good. Everything is honestly going really good right now for me."

"God, I'm so glad to hear that. To hear from you, in general."

"And how about you, Mr. Grey? How are you?"

"Me?" he asked, and she could hear the tinge of sadness in his voice. "I'm… better now that I'm talking to you."

She felt her stomach drop a little. She knew she had put him through an emotional wringer, and she felt terribly that such a good hearted, kind person had been stuck in the crosshairs of her life exploding. He didn't deserve the emotional turmoil she'd laid on him since they'd met.

"I want to apologize again for everything, Christian. You've helped me so much, and I can never repay you for everything you've done."

"I've told you Ana, no apology is necessary. And I am just happy I was able to help you at all. Seeing you doing better is more reward than I could ever ask for. It's all I ever wanted for you."

"Well, in that same vein," she started, "I actually called for a reason. I wanted to tell you that I have been applying to schools, and I was accepted, and will be starting school in the fall."

There was a brief pause, though it felt like it lasted forever, before he spoke. "Seriously Ana? That's… that's amazing. I could not be more proud of your right now. I know how much you want this, and I know whatever you do, you'll be amazing. I couldn't be more thrilled for you." The purse sincerity of his words, the actually joy she felt in his tone, shook her for a moment. He cared so much about her happiness… It was slightly overwhelming, but in a good way. She'd never felt emotion like that before from someone else.

"Thank you," she said, just as sincerely. He was so supremely supportive.

"Where will you be going?" he asked.

"The University of Washington-"

"In Seattle?" he cut in, hopeful.

"Bothell, actually," she said, feeling bad for getting his hopes up. "I applied for loans and am looking into housing and everything already. Ray is going to help when he can, but I just… I really want to do this, you know?"

"I know, baby. I'm so happy for you," he said. "Have you picked a major? I know you'd mentioned an interest in publishing before."

"You remembered that?" she asked, surprised.

"I remember everything you've ever told me, Ana," he admitted quietly. God, he was so sweet.

She sat up a little, feeling the excitement coursing through her as she prepared to talk about the plans she'd had swimming in her head. She'd been over all of it with Ray, but he was so taciturn, he really didn't show much excitement. He was sweet, and completely supportive, but he just wasn't the kind of guy to get overjoyous, and she had no one else in her life to really share this exciting time in her life with.

"Well, you're right, publishing was kind of always were I saw myself before, but I've been thinking a lot about this, and I think what I really want to do is go into education."

"You want to be a teacher?"

"I want to do something that means something. I love books, so I thought, why can't I kill two birds with one stone and teach literature?" She attempted a deep breath, but it came out stilted. "Kids need positive role models. Maybe I could be that for someone who needs it. But actually help them."

There was a long pause as she, and she assumed he as well, thought about what she was really saying, what really drove this decision. Her interaction with a teacher when she needed help has ended up for horrific. There was power in this for her, power to be able to come back from what she'd been through and do the right thing for other kids who needed it.

"I think that's amazing, Ana. Your courage is truly admirable. I can't tell you how impressed I am with your decision to do this."

"You really think it's a good idea? You think I could help someone, even if it's ever just one person?"

"I can't think of anyone else who would be more qualified to do this than you."

"Thank you, Christian. Your support means the world to me."

"You'll always have it, Ana. However you need it. No matter what."

"I know. Thank you."

He hesitated then said, "I know I agreed to give you space, but… I'd really like to do something to celebrate such a huge step for you. Is there any way I can convince you to have dinner with me? Just a simple celebratory dinner. I promise."

"That actually sounds amazing. I would love to have dinner with you," she said. It was an easy decision to make. She was excited about this, and she missed Christian, and celebrating this decision with him felt so completely right, that there was no way she could turn down the offer.

"Really?" he asked, his excitement equivalent to that of a child who just got told they could pick out any toy in the store. She laughed.

"Yes, really."

She heard rustling and his voice sounded muffled for a moment when he said, "I can get my helicopter ready and be there in a couple of hours. I know it'll be like- damn it- 9 o'clock by then but I'm sure we can find somewhere nice that will be open and-"

She laughed again. "It's Wednesday, Christian. It's late and you have work in the morning. What do you say, if you're not busy, we push it back until Saturday? Then we can have a proper, non rushed celebration dinner."

"Yes," he said. "Okay. Saturday. It's a date." She heard him take in a sharp breath. "No! Not a date! I mean- I just meant- I'm not trying to push you-"

"Christian," she laughed. "It's fine. Relax." She had such a hard time reconciling the confident, take charge CEO she knew Christian Grey to be from this man on the phone. Did she really make him this nervous. It was like he was worried if he moved one millimeter in the wrong direction that she was going to cut him out of her life, and even though he was probably the nicest, most selfless, not to mention handsome man she had ever met, it appeared that he really cared about keeping her in his life. Didn't he realize that she felt the same way? That the time she needed had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with her, and trying to make herself better, to make herself deserving of someone even half as good as him, let alone him?

She hoped that wasn't the case. Maybe seeing each other and spending some time together would solidify to him that she wasn't going anywhere, that this might be a slow journey, but she was on one path for her life right now, and he was one of the biggest destinations she had every intention of reaching.

Taylor

It was risky. But there was no way he could resist the desire to do this. Not even just because the boss ordered it, but because he wanted it on a personal level. Taylor had a daughter. He had a baby girl who he didn't get to spend as much time with as he liked, who lived a life with details he wasn't completely privy to because he wasn't around seven days a week. Anyone could be interacting with his baby. Anyone could hurt her. He hoped no harm would ever befall her, and God help any fucker who ever tried.

But Anastasia Steele had been hurt. Taylor had hated Ray Steele when he learned about Ana's situation. He immediately assumed him to be a neglectful father. If he had been paying any attention at all, he should have seen the signs that she was in trouble, he thought. But now, he was learning that Ray was just another hard working single father to a non-biological daughter that he'd taken in when she'd needed a permanent home. He'd spent seven days a week trying to make ends meet to provide for her, to keep a roof over her head, food on the table, and clothes on her back. Maybe there had been signs. Maybe not. Taylor would and could never know. But it was obvious that Ray Steele had a lot of love for his daughter, and Taylor assumed he would spend the rest of his life feeling guilty if he ever found out exactly what happened to his daughter for all of those years.

Regardless of how it all was able to fall into place that Ana was taken advantage of the way she was, the fact was, it happened. It happened, and that infuriated Taylor in a way he'd ever quite felt before. So when Welch told him that Mr. Grey wanted them to discuss a plan to breach Kennedy's home and search for pictures or videos of Ana, Taylor knew it was probably the most risky thing he'd ever been asked to do, but also knew there was no way he wasn't going to do it. Because if Kennedy did have images, Taylor wanted them gone as much as anyone. Destroyed. So they could never come back to haunt the sweet girl who was trying to get her life back.

A girl the boss was head over heels in love with.

Which made this so much more important. Taylor had spent years at Mr. Grey's side, and he was a good man, maybe one of the best men Taylor had ever met. He deserved to be happy. And even though things with Ana had been quite strenuous up until this point, they had the potential for real happiness together, something they both deserved. If he could help bring that to them, he would.

Donning the same gloves that he'd worn the night he'd slammed his fist into Kennedy's face, he made his way down the hall to Kennedy's apartment door. Barney had gotten him the schematics for the building, so he knew exactly where all the security features were. It was a solid system, since it was a high end complex, so rather than risk getting caught on the cameras, Barney was just going to hack in and override the system to erase any footage. Before he entered Kennedy's door, however, he would pull the neoprene mask over his face, just in case Kennedy had additional surveillance inside of his apartment.

Although illegal acts were something he rarely, if ever, did while employed for Mr. Grey, Taylor still had a well rounded set of skills that aided in such tasks. For example, lock picking. It was a something he was very proficient in, regardless of the fact that it was a skill he hadn't officially practiced in years. Sliding his kit inconspicuously out of the front pocket of his backpack, he carefully maneuvered the tools until he heard the satisfying pop of the lock. He smirked to himself in smug satisfaction.

Once he was inside, he quickly scanned the layout of Kennedy's apartment. It was pretty basic- a nice place, definitely masculine. It looked like a pretty routine adult bachelor's home. Nothing seemed to indicate the presence of a women, no photos hug on the walls of Ana and him, as if they'd had more than the disgusting relationship they did. He had some nice furniture, nice art. Everything was simple and streamlined, not unlike the boss's apartment. It was basically what he'd expected. He looked for any security devices, but didn't see anything overtly conspicuous. Still, he kept his mask on just in case.

He had the urge to just start breaking things, but he knew he couldn't. He already had a planned to do one thing, leave one clue to Kennedy so he knew that someone broken into him home and so that he knew exactly what they'd taken. It would send a message. That he wasn't untouchable, that they were still there, and nothing was safe. And if Taylor found what he thought he would find, there wasn't going to be shit Kennedy could do about it anyway. Because the likelihood was that Kennedy had pictures of Ana when she was underage, and if he didn't want to go to jail for child pornography, he wouldn't say shit to the police about it. So it was important that that remained the focus of the message sent to Kennedy here. Nothing else could be damaged or stolen, only the images. So, if he went to the police about the break-in, and they asked was was missing, he didn't have anything to claim, unless he wanted to admit to what he'd done.

That topic had already brought up a whole argument before all of these plans were made. Why not just get Kennedy arrested on child pornography charges if he did, in fact, have photos of Ana underage? As enticing as the idea had been, it was something that, as a group they realized would probably only hurt Ana in the long run. Firstly, to even get the police involved, they had to have probable cause, not just an assumption that pictures existed. And if they did, they wouldn't put Kennedy away forever. And dragging him through the court system meant dragging any photos of Ana that did exist through the court system as well, exposing them to who knows how many other eyes. Ana was finally free from him and doing better. The last thing anyone wanted to do was cause her to regress in therapy because they opened a can of worms with images of her like that. So they decided that it was in her best interests to just collect and destroy anything they found, while not even so much as mentioning the idea to her.

Taylor knew there was a chance Kennedy could have been very paranoid and hid any material he had of Ana in a very discrete spot, but he just had a gut instinct that wasn't the case. The man was super confident. He'd gotten away with this for so long, he thought he was untouchable. So Taylor wasn't too worried about stuff being on a tiny SD card and slipped behind an electrical outlet cover plate, or in some professionally hidden safe disguised as an object he'd never think to check. The likelihood was that he had the files sitting on a computer, or on a drive that was hidden in some drawer in his desk, maybe in something as movie-typical as a sock drawer.

Wherever Kennedy did his work from home was where Taylor wanted to start. He walked through the living room toward the hallway, pushing open doors and checking the rooms as he went. There was a bathroom just off the living room, then a linen/laundry closet. The last two doors were obvious the master bedroom and Kennedy's home office, complete with giant shelves of books and a big oak desk with a laptop sitting front and center. Bingo.

Taylor entered the room and walked around the desk, brushing a gloved hand over the back of the laptop. He picked it up, flipping to over to reveal the IT sticker firmly on the bottom that said

"Property of Greener Horizon's Inc, GEH IT DEPT, Issue#34464"

Taylor debated going through it, but only for a moment. There was no way he was dumb enough to keep anything on a work laptop, especially when Grey was up his asshole 24/7. And even if he was, Barney could easily gain access and find out. He made a mental note to have Barney scrub it just to be sure, then set it back down in the middle of the desk where he'd found it.

He took a seat at the desk, moving the chair position down so he could reach the bottom drawer easier, then started opening them one by one and rifling through them. Mostly it was business shit- folders and files and papers. He slid his fingers across edges, checking for inconsistencies in the wood- false bottoms or hidden compartments. But there was nothing.

He figured he would circle back around for a more in depth look at the rest of the office if he didn't find anything in one of the more obvious places. So he moved across the hall to the master bedroom, where he riffled through the dresser drawers. Nothing, so he moved to the closet. Kennedy had a decent sized walk in, so Taylor started rummaging through the drawers in there, pulling back clothes. And sure enough, in the back of one of the bottom drawers was a lock box. Taylor rolled his eyes. Even if he didn't know how to pick the lock on it, this thing was relatively small and easy to grab and run. Why would anyone keep anything valuable in a box that could just be carried out?

Picking the cheap Masterlock, he opened the box, but there was just cash and some documents inside of it. Taylor slammed it closed and put the lock back on, shoving it back it the drawer.

He walked around the room, checking shelving to make sure it wasn't hollowed out, checking artwork to make sure it wasn't covering a wall safe, etc. He checked the ones in the hall and the living room. He continued to comb the apartment, looking anywhere he could think to find where Kennedy might have stashed something.

He uncovered multiple areas where Kennedy hid cash, files with all of his important papers of patents on technology GHI was working on- stuff he was supposed to have turned over to the GEH archives, even a gun, which Taylor permanently disabled since he couldn't take it with him, but didn't want Kennedy to ever be able to use. He also found a lot of fucked up sex shit, shit that looked harsh and painful for whoever was on the receiving end of it, and that only served to fuel his anger. God, how he wished that man could get a taste of his own medicine, he thought while he held up a particularly harsh looking implement that looked like a whip with a bunch of tails with metal studs on the ends. He seemingly found all the areas Kennedy hid stuff he didn't want found, except anything related to Ana. Maybe he just didn't have anything. Maybe he was actually smart enough to not keep any physical evidence of his relationship with her.

He sighed, irritated. He really didn't want to have to tell the boss he found nothing. Because finding nothing didn't necessarily mean there was nothing to find. As much as he hated the idea of Kennedy having that kind of shit on Ana, at least if he found it, he knew Kennedy no longer had it in his possession. This way, they could never be sure that nothing was there.

Clenching his teeth, he went back into the office, and sat in Kennedy's chair. When he landed on it with a thud, he remembered that he'd lowered it earlier. They were about the same height, so Taylor raised it to where it felt comfortable, then put his elbows on the desk and hung his head. Think think think. Where else could Kennedy be hiding this shit? A safety deposit box maybe? He'd have Welch look into it. Tilting his head back, he cracked his neck side to side then looked straight ahead.

Something immediately caught his eye on the bookshelf directly across the room from him. Right, smack dab in the middle of the shelf in his line of sight, he noticed a distinct set of books.

Tess of d'Urbervilles.

He knew those books. Getting up, he went to the shelf. He'd been the one to package and hand deliver them to Ana's apartment. There was no mistaking that these weren't just a run of the mill copy of the books. These were the first editions Mr. Grey had him hunt down and purchase for her. He felt unreasonably angry that Kennedy was in possession of something that was supposed to be Ana's, something the boss put a lot of thought into and something she would have cherished. Scott fucking Kennedy did not deserve to have these in his possession.

These books were just calling him to be the thing to let Kennedy know someone had been in his apartment. He'd notice them right away, he'd have to. He'd sit at his desk and look up and see the gap on the shelf and know exactly what was missing. And the fact that it was those books would tell him all he would need to know about who took them. He smiled. It was perfect. Then his smile fell.

Fuck.

But what he didn't want to do was take them until he either found the pictures, or felt confident that none existed. Because if he took the books and didn't find the pictures, Kennedy would bolster security on the apartment and make possibly subsequent visits much more difficult.

Reaching for one of the books, he pulled it out, and immediately noticed something was off. He opened the cover, and felt his heart race. A large rectangle, about an inch in from the perimeter of the pages was cut clean out. That fucker had hollowed out one of the first edition books! And as furious as it made him that this asshole had ruined a prize possession of Ana's, the thought was fleeting when he saw the white envelope that was pressed into the empty space.

...Could it be? Quickly he checked the other two volumes, but neither seemed to have been tampered with. Only the middle one. If this was images of Ana? That was some real psychopathic shit to destroy something she loved to store them, and place it directly in front of his viewpoint from the chair. Like a trophy, hiding in plain sight. It made Taylor furious. He pulled the envelope from the book, unfolding it and pulling out the contents. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Four SD cards. One USB. And one photo, which he quickly turned over and slid back into the envelope, but not before the image was seared in his brain forever.

After seeing just the one image, he was very reluctant to check the content of everything else, but he knew he had to make sure they actually contained what he thought they did. He went back to the desk, pulling out a laptop he'd brought with so he could check the content of any memory storage devices Kennedy might have been using. First he popped in the USB drive and opened it up, finding a bunch of folders, all labeled by date, and all video files, all dating back to as long as 2006. He muttered out a curse, knowing he was going to have to watch one to see what they were, even though he already knew. He clicked one from 2009, not wanting to see Ana as a child, if he had to see her at all.

The video started with her bound in rope, tied to the giant lattice wood art piece he'd seen on the wall in Kennedy's living room. He groaned before immediately closing the video, ejecting the USB, and putting it back in the envelope with the hard copy photo of her. He did the same thing with the SD cards, checking one photo from each one before closing them out.

Feeling sick to his stomach, he ejected the last one, putting it in the envelope with the rest before folding it back up and sticking in the in secured pocket on the inside of the jacket he was wearing. Then he closed up the Tess book, and put it in his bag with the laptop. He debated grabbing the other two books as well- he wanted to. Kennedy didn't deserve to have them. But this sent a much clearer message. This one being the one missing, let Kennedy know that they knew exactly what they had. That it wasn't about the books, it was about what was inside of this particular one.

Now that he had what he needed, Taylor was quick to make his exit. He checked the peephole in the door for anyone to be in the halls, then slid out quickly and quietly, pulling his neoprene mask off as he did. He exited out the back door, then pulled out his phone and texted Barney, Welch, and Mr. Grey, who were all anxiously waiting back at Grey House for him.

I'm done.