Ana

She woke up on the plush mattress of the hotel bed, but she knew she immediately she wasn't alone. She was so comfortable, so completely content in this moment, that at any other time she would have kept her eyes closed and cuddled back into the covers and gone back to sleep. But today, she forced herself to pry her eyes open in order to take in the view of the beautiful man she could hear softly breathing next to her. And she wasn't disappointed.

She let her eyes take in every detail of his handsome face. Sleeping next to a man like this was totally new to her. She and Scott had shared a bed countless times, but never like this. Never with this level of ease. If she awoke before him, there were expectations. She'd have to get up quickly, because she was expected to have breakfast made, or she'd be expected to take care of his morning erection, giving him oral until he woke up and took control. Or sometimes he told her he expected her on her knees at the side of the bed when he woke up.

Last night with Christian had been perfect. The planned date was amazing, more than she could have ever expected, or hoped or dreamed of. Then the improvised part, where she invited him back to the hotel, it had been just as amazing. Things with Christian were just easy. He was a very genuine person. He seemed legitimately interested in everything she had to say, even when it seemed like boring chatter to her.

They'd had coffee, which had turned into a bottle of wine, which she was more willing to drink once they were safely ensconced in her hotel room. They'd indulged a little, but nothing over the top. And they'd just talked. They talked and talked about anything and everything, and it was all so nice.

And they'd kissed.

More than kissed, they'd made out. Like teenagers, they'd made out on the sofa in the sitting area. And it had been thrilling and explosive in a way she'd ever experienced before. She would be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed certain things, many things with Scott over the years. Because she had. But not in this way. With Scott, there had been reverence, there had been trust and a deep desire to please. But with Christian, the emotions were completely new. This wasn't about simply pleasing him, about making him happy. It was about them. It was about the two of them coming together to be something new. And that was exciting for her.

"You're so beautiful." His rough voice, scratchy with sleep, pulled her back to the moment. His eyes were barely open, his lids still hooded, his darker than normal grays roaming her face.

She blushed. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like the dead," he said with a lazy smile.

"Good," she whispered as she shifted to face him fully. "Me too. Probably the alcohol."

"Or the comfort of the company," he said, trailing a fingertip down her cheek, across the edge of her jaw.

"That too," she agreed.

She wasn't sure who made the first move, if it was her or him or just both of them together, but in an instant they were wrapped up in each other's arms again, exchanging rough, fierce kisses. It was different than last night, less deliberate, more urgent.

Last night she'd been okay with just kissing. Last night she'd welcomed the chance to experience something new, something sexual she hadn't done before, and more specifically, to do that with Christian. Her sexual experiences had come about so abnormally, that she found it exciting to do things the way normal people did them. And doing something innocent like making out with someone seemed sweet and fun.

But that was last night. This morning? This morning she wanted him. This morning she felt less like the sweet Ana from yesterday and more like the sex-hungry woman she'd been plenty of times in her past. This morning she wanted to climb on top of this beautiful man and ride him until they both screamed. And she was pretty sure the way she was kissing him clearly indicated how she was feeling. Especially when she nipped his lower lip, causing him to release a sexy growl from deep in his chest. Because that was when he rolled her on her back, settled himself between her legs, and things escalated.

The feeling of his pelvis pressed against hers only served to heighten her desire. She felt her body respond, her own pelvis tilting to seek firmer contact, her back arching as her breast sought out his attention. She'd removed her bra when she'd changed into her pajamas last night, and she could feel her nipples straining against the soft cotton of her t-shirt. She felt Christian's hand on her hip, gripping tightly, two of his fingers slipping between the gap of her shirt and her shorts. His lips trailed down to her neck and she was quick to tilt her head back and allow him full access, feeling herself become wet as he left tender, sucking kisses across her skin.

"Christian," she moaned out just as she felt his hand fully breech the lower hem of her shirt, his fingers lazily trailing along her belly. Reaching between them, she tugged the shirt up, just high enough to expose her chest, without having to make him move off of her to get it up over her head.

He groaned as his eyes dropped to her newly exposed skin. And he wasted no time covering one breast with a strong hand, the wrapping his lips around the nipple of the other. He played both nipples in time with each other, his tongue laving and circling while his fingers caressed.

"Oh God," she sighed, savoring the feeling of his mouth on her. It had been too long since she'd had an orgasm that wasn't given by her own hand, and she missed the feeling of someone else bringing her to those heights. She was so used to having sex very regularly, ever since she'd lost her virginity. This 'dry spell', while essential for her mind's well being, had been wreaking havoc on her libido. She felt like she could quite possibly come just from his attention to her breasts alone, and probably fairly quickly.

But then… his hips started moving, and everything went fuzzy. She could feel the size of him press against her, grinding just right between her thighs, and she laid back and let him drive her to the heights she was seeking.

She felt his mouth leave her nipple, his cool breath slowly blowing over the wet bud before his mouth moved to her ear. "Are you going to come for me, Anastasia?"

"Yes," she confirmed confidently as his tongue barely brushed the very tip of her opposite nipple now.

"Where do you want my mouth when you come?" he asked, causing her to look down at his lips as images of where they could go flashed through her mind. "Do you want it here?" he asked, pressing a kiss to her lips. "Here?" he asked, pressing a kiss to her nipple. "Here?" he asked, grinding his hips against hers.

"Mmm," she moaned, and watched the grin spread across those beautiful lips.

"Is that a yes?"

"Mmhm," she sighed.

"You're going to have to say it, Ana. Do you want to come with my lips on your lips? On your nipple? Or do you want to come with my lips on your pretty little pussy? Wrapped around your clit maybe? Or with my tongue flicking against it? Over and over until your thighs shake and you're so close you're ready to cry?"

"Oh my God," she whispered, exhilarated by the idea of getting to choose what she wanted. "My pussy," she confirmed unabashedly. "I want your mouth between my legs. I want to come on your tongue, while you fuck me slowly with your fingers."

He growled as he heaved his body away from hers and slid down the bed, his hands dragging down her sides, taking the waistband of her shorts with their descent and dragging them down her legs.

"Spred those legs wide for me, baby," he ordered, pulling his own t-shirt over his head as he watched her quickly separate her thighs, planting her heels into the mattress about four feet apart. She knew she was already plenty wet, but that didn't stop her from becoming even more so as when she saw the look he gave her when his eyes landed where she'd fully displayed herself for him.

"Please," she begged, and he immediately responded, swooping down and giving her exactly what she'd was craving.

God, he really knew what to do with that tongue. It was so hot, to watch this beautiful man as he worked to bring her to orgasm. Adjusting her pillow, she tilted her head to she could watch him work. And then, because she could, she reach down between her legs and ran her fingers through his hair, threading and gripping, tugging at the strands until he looked up at her, watching her watch him.

It didn't take long after that. Once those gray eyes locked on hers, she's a was a goner. Her body rode the high of not only her orgasm, but this whole situation. Of her, and Christian, and sex based off of impromptu, mutual desire.

"That was much better than last time," Christian hummed, still between her legs, placing feather light kisses across her inner thighs, causing a giggle to erupt from her throat. She automatically clamped her thighs around his head in order to stop him, and laughed when she looked down to see him trapped, cheeks slightly squished at her looked back up at her. She could see the smile in his eyes. She released his head, and he slid back up her body, resting his weight half on her as he placed a kiss on her lips and brushed a few stray hairs from her face.

He was right, though. This time was completely different from last time.

"Thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. For being able to look past the hurtful things I've done to give me another chance," she said.

"I'd do anything to make this work with you, Ana. I don't hold any of that stuff against you. I don't even think about it. I just want us to move forward. Together."

"I want that too," she smiled, "But that's not the only thing I want."

"Mmm, and what else do you want baby?" he asked, the combination of his huskier voice and the pet name causing a rush of desire to course through her again.

Pressing her palm against his chest, she pushed him, rolling with the momentum until she was straddling his waist. She scooted down his body, touching her lips to his sternum.

"I've heard the proper etiquette is to 'return the favor' when someone gives you an orgasm," she joked, but immediately felt him lift her chin to make eye contact, and his smile was gone.

"I don't expect anything from you, Ana. Ever. Never feel you have to…" he trailed off, "Because you think I expect it from you."

"I know," she said. "I was just being playful, Christian. I know you would never force me to do anything, or expect anything from me I wasn't willing to do. I want to do this, I promise."

He nodded although seemingly distracted as he watched her descend his body, tugging his boxers down as she went.

And she did want this. Because she loved sex. That was part of what made all of this so strange. She loved sex. But she'd never been free to moan and talk and touch. Scott had always told her that having to control herself, having to hold still and absorb the pleasure would make everything more intense. For all she'd been taught about 'control', she'd never once actually been in control of the sex she'd had. So her sexual experience had made her sort of an anomaly. One part of her was so 100% comfortable with sex, having been exposed to it the way she was coupled with all the things she'd experienced over the years, that she could talk about the dirtiest things without blushing. But another part of her felt like a virgin to all of this. So while she knew exactly where and how she wanted things, she also felt completely out of her element getting them simply because she wanted it.

She continued, "I want this with you."

She wasted no more time, sheathing him with her mouth, pushing back the gag reflex she'd long since learned to tame, and taking him straight into her throat. She looked up at him, watching his eyes roll back in his head as he dropped back onto the bed and let out a loud groan.

"Jesus Christ, Ana," he moaned, weaving his fingers in her hair. but letting her control the pace.

Blowjobs were something she'd given a million times before, and she had her technique down to a science. She kept expecting his grip to tighten, to forced her head up and down at a pace of his liking, or for him to hold her head still and fuck her mouth, but he never did. She almost wished her would, so she would know what exactly it was that he wanted, but then again, if his reaction was any indication, he wanted exactly what she was already doing at the moment.

She kept working his length, cupping and lightly tugging his testicles as she sucked. She watched the way his abdominal muscles clenched and unclenched, his hips making tiny thrusts forward, his eyes closed and mouth open. Swiping her finger along the base of his cock, she collecting some of the saliva that had pooled there, then gently dragged her finger down, back behind his testicles. She waited until his breathing sped up to just the right pace, his moans were at just the right pitch, then she used firm, even pressure, and pressed that wet finger inside of his body.

"Fuck!" he scream, his eyes flying open in confusion chased by what looked like... panic. His fingers tightening in her hair and he tugged, like he was trying to get her off of him. Oh god, had she hurt him? She didn't know how she could have… Quickly she tried to dispel whatever unpleasant feeling she'd inadvertently caused by pumping her finger against his prostate.

And the next thing she knew, he was letting out a loooong drawn out moan and pushing her head back down and his cock deep into the back of her throat. Perfect.

"Oh my God, Ana," he grunted, "Fuck… Shit. Holy... fucking shit," he was gasping and moaning in a way she'd never seen before, and then she felt the telltale sign that he was about to come, the way his already impressive cock grew just a little bit firmer and his testicles tightened. She felt the self-satisfaction spread through her as his semen hit the back of her throat in three strong spurts. She swallowed him down, giving him a moment before she dared to pull off of him. When she felt his body start to relax, she dragged her mouth slowly off of him, collecting any remaining evidence of his orgasm and her spit and swallowing it down. She watched his breathing, and on an exhale, she gently eased her finger out of him, watching him just lay there with an arm slung over his eyes as he breathed slightly labored but steadily in and out. She sat back on her haunches and waited for him to say something.

"Ana?" he asked, his arm still covering his eyes.

"Yes?" she asked, eager for feedback.

"Did you put your finger in my ass?"

She brought her hands together to nervously wring her fingers together. Was that not something everyone did? Scott always liked a finger in his ass to finish a blowjob. He never led her to believe it was anything abnormal. She hadn't even considered Christian might not... "Um… yes?"

He nodded slightly but stayed silent, his arm still over his eyes, and she dropped her head. He couldn't even look at her. God, she'd fucked this up already. She felt the embarrassment wash over her and she buried her face in her hands. She hadn't hurt him… She'd completely blindsided him! He really was trying to actually pull away from her. She felt him shift below her, but she couldn't bear to look at him.

"Ana?" he said, his voice low, and she could tell he was sitting up and directly in front of her face right now.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse.

"Ana, look at me."

She shook her head no.

"Ana," he demanded, gripping her forearms and pulling her hands away from her face. He tried to catch her eye but she refused. "I'm not going to lie and pretend like that didn't totally catch me by surprise," he admitted. "But it was also the best blow job I've ever received."

"Really?" she asked shyly, finally looking at him, trying to gauge if he was just trying to spare her feelings.

"Well you swallowed the evidence, so I have no proof but…" he smirked, and she let out a giggle at his lame attempt to cheer her up that made a full blown smile grow on his face.

His smile slowly faded and he grew serious. "There's going to be a learning curve here, Ana. For both of us. I know nothing about probably 85% of the things you've experienced sexually, and I'm sure there's a lot you could teach me that I would enjoy. I want to experience new things with you. I never want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed of things that turn you on, thinking I might think less of you if you want me to do them. As long as I go into it knowing you want them, then anything is fair game. You obviously enjoyed aspects of that lifestyle, right?" She bit her lip and nodded. "And that's okay. If you still want to be… to be tied up or spanked or whatever, I'm more than happy to do those things with you." His eyes darkened at his own words and she felt herself get wet at the mere idea of Christian tying her up and fucking her hard, or spanking her, or using toys on her. He was right, she did love many things the lifestyle had introduced to her.

"And in turn," he continued, his voice low and filled with desire, "I think I have things I could teach you too. To experience more than just sex. To experience being cared for. To experience feelings. To experience…."

"Love?" she asked, unable to keep the lilt of hope out of her voice.

"Yes," he said, his eyes softening. "Do you want me to make love to you, Ana?"

"Yes, please," she whispered on an exhale.

He embraced her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and kissed her deeply. Keeping his left wrapped around her back, he used the right to traced down her spine, cupping her ass and leading her up onto his lap. She moved at his urging, straddling his thighs.

"I've dreamed of what it would be like to be inside of you so many times, Ana," he softly spoke in her ear as he held her close. "I've imagined it finally happening in so many different ways. Maybe a quick and explosive tryst in the office, maybe running into you outside of work and taking you home to fuck you within an inch of your life, even you showing up at my place and confessing feelings and us making slow love. I pictured it a million times, a million ways, but nothing compares to the reality. Simply because this IS reality, whereas all of those other things were just fantasy. I honestly can hardly believe you're really here and this is really happening."

She smiled, pulling herself up a little bit in order to angle her body against his. And with her eyes firmly locked on his, she lined her body up, then rested it slowly back down, enveloping his length as she settled back onto his lap. His hands gripped her hips as he tugged her down onto him, pushing himself up even further, hitting a spot inside of her that immediately released a moan from her lips.

They sat like that for a moment, both just absorbing the pleasure and intensity of the moment where they finally were together in the most intimate way possible. And when she could no longer take having him inside of her but not moving, she began to slowly swivel her hips, grinding on him until he moaned for her the way she had for him.

Christian's hands moved up, one holding the side of her neck and one cupping her head as he let her control the pace of their lovemaking. He brought her lips to his kissing her deeply, making love to her mouth in time with bodies. She felt new feelings coursing through her as she let the emotional and physical combine in an all consuming way. She let her hands roam his strong, sculpted body- his abdomen, his chest, his biceps and shoulders. The feel of his hard muscles under her hands was turning her on as much as anything.

But then she felt her need take a turn. She felt the desire to be in control dwindle and the much more familiar desire to submit take root. She felt herself yearning to feel the weight of him on her. Wanting to feel his strength and size covering her small frame. Wanting to cede control to him and let him bring them to mutual mind shattering orgasms.

So she slowed her movements, and felt the slight heat of blush on her cheeks as she asked for what she really wanted. "Would you mind if, um…"

"If what?" Christian asked.

"I'd like you to be in charge."

And true to their discussion minutes ago, he didn't ask questions, didn't ruin the moment by making her assure him it was what she wanted. He'd told her she should feel unashamed to admit what she wanted from him, and he was proving to her that she could do that here and now.

With the grace and confidence she'd grown to expect from him, he maneuvered them around, laying her gently down on her back, following behind her so they stayed close together until he was pressing her back into the bed below him.

She spread her legs wide for him, an open invitation to continue where they'd left off.

He made her wait for it though, pressing kisses to her jaw, neck and chest, before taking a nipple between his lips and tugging it gently. She felt oddly content at the familiar feeling of wanting something, yet not getting it because she knew he was pleased doing what he desired, so she resisted urging him further. She just enjoyed as he trailed back up to her lips, taking them in a possessive kiss as she felt his hand trail down her hip and in between her thighs. She groaned when she felt his strong fingers put pressure on her clit.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered in her ear. "I want you so much, Ana."

His lips pressed to hers again as he finally pushed his length back inside of her, once again making her feel complete in a way she hadn't sexually before.

He consumed her with his body, just as she'd hoped. He positioned himself in such a way that he was using her body as leverage against herself, holding her tightly around her head and shoulders, pushing her down against him as he rocked up into her. She'd secretly worried vanilla sex meant slow and soft- boring. But he was pushing into her with deep, hard strokes that felt like they took her breath away each and every time.

It didn't take long for the sensations to build her up, higher and higher. She grabbed onto the back of his neck, pulling his mouth to hers, kissing him desperately as she felt her body start to teeter over the edge.

"That's it, baby," he mumbled into her kisses, his pace picking up to drive her over the edge. "Come on my cock, Ana. Come on my cock while I come deep in your tight little pussy."

She moaned, unable to form any actual words, but spurred on by his own.

She could feel him closing in on his own orgasm, feel his cock swell and fill her that much more, his rhythm becoming just slightly more erratic as he chased his own high.

The idea of him coming in her excited her. She couldn't help but relate it with a sense of ownership due to the fact that that idea had been reiterated to her countless times over the years. Christian would be only the second man to stake that claim on her, and she couldn't deny that due to her submissive nature, the idea of being owned by him was thrilling.

"Tell me I'm yours," she begged softly, wanting to her him verbally claim her while doing so physically.

"Oh Ana," he said with a low chuckle. "You. Are. Fucking. Mine."

Punctuating the words with his thrusts, she came as the last one left his mouth, groaning long and loudly as her whole body combusted underneath his.

She felt him follow suit moment later, pumping his semen into her as he moaned above her. She watched him wantonly, wanting to take in the sight of this beautiful man coming for her.

They laid like that for a minute as they both caught their breaths, then he placed a few teasing kisses on her face and neck, grinning, then got up to use the washroom.

She stayed in the bed, lying there in the rumpled sheets, reveling in the moment, in the fact that she was covered in his scent, his sweat, filled with him, owned by him.

Owned.

She felt the internal conflict kick in. The guilt.

She's spent all this time trying to gain independence after being dependent on Scott for so long. It was the main reason she'd wanted to take things slow with Christian. Because sex with him could prove dangerous to her mental rehabilitation. But having him in her bed this morning had clouded all reason. She'd been without sex for so long, had wanted him for so long, and finally had him all to herself after a truly wonderful, romantic first date. It had been so easy to give in to her more primal urges this morning.

But now, a part of her felt like it was a huge step backward in all the work she'd done these last weeks. The sex had started out so differently than it had finished. In the beginning she'd felt strong and confident and free, but by the end she'd reverted back to old habits of wanting to be dominated and owned. To be this deeply pleased at being claimed by another man couldn't be healthy.

But she couldn't deny that she simple was pleased. This was the most emotional contentment she'd felt in months- since before the move to Seattle with Scott, when their relationship started to go downhill. Belonging to Christian was something she wanted, needed even. And while, in her mind, she knew this was something that made her feel whole, and happy, felt like the final missing piece that she'd been searching for since she moved on from Scott, she wasn't sure it was healthy. She'd been perfectly happy and content with Scott for years as well. That didn't mean it was healthy.

Was her contentment due to belonging to Christian himself, or just the feeling of belonging to a man again altogether? She was pretty sure it was specifically Christian. But her guilt at feeling this way had her second guessing herself. Rubbing a hand over her forehead, she resigned to make an appointment with her therapist to discuss all of this. To find out if she'd regressed emotionally by allowed Christian to consume her the way he had. Or if it was okay to allow him that place in her life since she was someone she cared for and trusted. At least she knew one thing for sure- he was deserving of her care and trust. And she hoped her therapist would tell her that that was the difference maker here. This wasn't some random one night stand she'd given herself up to physically and mentally. This was the man that had saved her. The man who had proved himself worthy of her trust over and over and over again.

The man she loved.

.