In the previous chapter: A few months pass as Rey and Kylo Ren continue their Potentium missions in secret. Rey hides the true nature of her missions from Finn. Aspects of Potentium start affecting her Jedi training, to Luke's great displeasure. Rey knows she's somewhat overwhelmed by the task of luring Kylo Ren away from the First Order, but she's determined to not give up on her mission.

Chapter 8

We had just landed on Gryl after finishing a Potentium mission when Ren spoke up. "I'm not leaving yet. Supreme Leader has been aggravating me."

"Alright. Let's go to the Gryl's temple and meditate." My words came easily, though nervousness buzzed through my veins. I had waited for an opportunity like this for weeks: a crack in the facade of devotion Ren had built around his master.

The Grylix were glad to see us and herded us to the Ramarode. Once there, the majority of them scattered back into the tunnels, though a few followed us in. They slid through the water and curled up to sleep on the sunlit island in the middle.

I toed off my boots and peeled my socks off as well. A thin rocky ledge hugged the edge of the cavern, and I walked along it to find a spot where I could sit and dip my feet in the pool. My footing was cautious but sure. I had crawled through the wreckage of enormous ships in the Graveyard for years, the floor a mere memory far below me.

A blur moved out of the corner of my eye as Ren dove into the pool. He gracefully slid through the water, though I was much more preoccupied with the fact he was shirtless. He surfaced a few yards away, hair plastered to the side of his head.

"Come swimming."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." It apparently hadn't registered with Ren that the only place to go swimming on Jakku was in a happabore trough.

He pushed a wave of water at me with the Force. "Just jump in."

I studied Ren floating in the pool and considered my options. Taking off my robe was not one of them, though a mischievous inner voice wondered if Ren would like what he saw. I'd wanted to try swimming ever since I'd seen the lakes of Takodana, and though I'd never tried it before, Ren made it look simple. I knew that humans could float better in water compared to other alien races, and I could call on my Force powers to keep my head above water if needed.

So I held my breath, jumped, broke through the still surface of the pool... and sank like a stone. Cold water crushed against my head and my plans of using the Force to stay afloat were gone in an instant. I had never been completely submerged underwater before and it was terrifying. I panicked and flailed and couldn't understand why my limbs moved so sluggishly. I screamed but the sound came out as a cloud of bubbles and traveled toward the surface. I didn't know how to follow them to reach the air. I didn't know what to do.

Suddenly, Ren grabbed me around my torso and hauled me upward. We broke through the surface and I coughed water out of my lungs till my entire face was sore and my throat burned. It was only then I realized Ren still held me in the pool, his arms wrapped around my waist. He had moved to the edge where he was tall enough to stand. Water lapped at a spot just below his collarbone. My hands clung to his shoulders, his shoulder muscles clenched tight underneath my fingers.

A blush seared my cheeks, but my body bloomed with a different kind of heat. A ghostly thought breathed down my spine – a memory of the last time we had been this close, foreheads pressed together and heartbeats rising. I won't let you forget it, he had promised me, as if I'd have trouble remembering.

Motion jolted me from my thoughts. One of Ren's hands had tightened around my waist while the other broke free of the surface of the pool. He brushed several beads of water off of my forehead, where they'd been about to drip into my eyes.

I focused on the water's cold, prickling bite against my skin to cool the heat in my body. I had to say something, anything, to break the silence.

"I don't know how to swim." It was lame, but enough to shatter the moment. Ren's hand slipped back into the pool and settled around my waist again.

"You should've told me." His tone was lightly scolding and a sly grin rose to his lips. "You need a teacher."

I laughed despite the rush of unpleasant memories from our confrontation on Starkiller. Ren's grin turned sort of crooked, pleased with my reaction.

He showed me how to tread water first, letting me hang on to his arm as I gently kicked the water to stay afloat. "It'd be a lot easier if you took off your robe," he told me, and though I believed him, I aimed an underwater kick in his direction and replied, "Not a chance!" Then he taught me how to lean forward and use my kicks to propel myself, combined with moving my arms in a sweeping motion that pulled me in whatever direction I wanted to go. Once I got the hang of the forward stroke, Ren demonstrated the backstroke which I preferred since it kept the water out of my face.

My fall had woken the Gryls napping on the rocky island in the middle of the cavern. Once they saw us swimming, they hopped into the water and curled around us like reptilian otters, chirping in excitement. One of them boldly climbed on Ren's shoulder while he was treading water, and I was afraid he'd push it off in disgust. But he just looked at it, and when the Gryl rubbed its snout against the silkiness of Ren's wet hair, he tolerated it with a quiet sigh.

We spent half an hour gliding in circles around the cavern. Once we were tired from swimming we climbed up onto the rocky island in the center to sit in the warmth of the afternoon sun.

Ren wrung water out of his sopping wet pants. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. Shadows from the light overhead wrapped around his muscles, and I imagined my own hands drifting across his skin in their place.

Then he turned his head, and gave me a wolfish grin when he caught me staring. I averted my gaze and focused very hard on squeezing water out of my robe.

Ren laid down on his back next to me, folding his arms under his head and letting the sun's heat dry him the rest of the way. His eyes closed and his chest rose and fell with calm, even breaths. I thought he was meditating until I dipped into his head and realized he was taking a nap.

The Gryls had slipped out of the temple, leaving us alone together in the cavern. My arms and legs tingled, though I decided it must be the sensation of water evaporating from my skin.

I began to pull my hair out of its customary triplet of buns, hoping it would dry faster in the heat. As my fingers followed the familiar routine, my mind returned to the moment with Ren in the pool. As hard as I tried, I couldn't rationalize the way my body had flooded with warmth. How I'd squeezed the muscles of his broad shoulders harder than necessary. The fact that I'd still been drowning even as he held me above-water in his arms.

What had gone wrong in my head? Ren served a tyrant who found it acceptable to destroy entire star systems. He had used his own power and authority to kill people. He'd pushed his father's dying body off of a bridge. Why was I trying to convince myself to look beyond that? Did I truly believe that he was capable of redemption? That he deserved it?

My answer should have been an immediate and absolute no. I should have yelled at Ren for goading me into jumping in the pool in the first place. I should have agreed with Luke when I'd had the chance, and told Leia exactly how dangerous this mission would be. Ren should have been off-limits in every conceivable way.

And yet.

He had worked on Potentium for the past few months without (much) complaint. He hadn't pried about the Resistance, tried to sneak inside my head, or harmed me in any way. He was searching for something that Snoke and the Order couldn't give him. I wondered if Potentium was helping him find it.

To distract myself, I used the Force to suspend a collection of rocks in mid-air. I had only practiced this exercise during Jedi training, and was unsurprised to learn that I could hold the rocks still for much longer when I had a head full of emotions to draw power from.

However, my mind still started to burn after fifteen minutes had passed. The rocks began trembling and the heaviest rock eventually slipped out of my control. It fell and bounced into Ren's side. He sent a flicker of irritation into my head. He opened his eyes to stare at the rock, but the caustic remark forming on his end of the bond vanished when his gaze turned to me.

I thought he was surprised to recognize the levitating stone exercise from his own Jedi training with Luke. Several seconds passed and his unwavering attention became too distracting.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I didn't know your hair was so long."

His answer caught me completely off guard. He had never seen it unbound and loose around my face before. I tucked several strands behind my ears and redoubled my concentration on the rocks hovering in front me. Ren's mind brushed through my own, sensing how I had wrapped my power around the individual stones.

"You're only pushing the stones up," he said. "But you're not the size of a planet. Gravity will always win. You need to push back down against the ground, too. That's what Skywalker means when he talks about expanding the Force."

It sounded so obvious when he phrased it that way. I refreshed my grip on my Force power and started to press in two directions instead of just one. The change in the rocks was immediate: they no longer trembled in place, and hung motionless as if they'd been placed there millennia ago and never moved.

I delicately unwrapped my power from each stone one at a time. They slipped into the pool with quiet dignity. "Luke's noticed a change since I've started using the Force through Potentium. He's going to ask questions before too long."

It was a lie, of course. Luke knew exactly what I was up to and he hated it. But I had to keep up appearances that no one knew I was here, and my admission allowed me to segue into a question I'd been genuinely curious about: "Was it Snoke who first told you about Potentium?"

"No, I came across it on my own."

"Does he know that we are researching it together?"

"Yes. He thinks it will further his goal of destroying the Resistance and the Jedi."

I swallowed hard. His honesty was painful to hear. "Is that what you plan to do?"

"I don't make plans. I follow the orders of Supreme Leader." Suddenly, Ren winced and pressed a hand against his temple. "He's looking for me. I hate when he does that. Gives me a headache every time."

He looked exhausted and frustrated. Part of me raged at the idea of pitying him. He had made his own choices, horrible as they were, and deserved every moment of pain those decisions caused him. But the other part of me picked up his hand and started massaging a pressure point in his palm. He tried to jerk his hand away, unnerved at being touched, but my grip was firm and I didn't let go.

"It relieves headaches," I told him, calmly meeting his irate glare.

"I know it does," he grumbled. "I've suffered from them since I was young."

I continued massaging his hand, working the tension out of his skin. "What made you interested in Potentium?"

"It was a way to explore the Force on my terms, and mine alone. People have been telling me how to use the Force my entire life. First Skywalker and his antiquated Jedi bullshit. Then Supreme Leader pushed me toward the Knights, and Darth Vader. He wants me to finish the mission my grandfather failed to complete."

"Destroying the Jedi? Darth Vader didn't fail that mission. He abandoned it. He returned to the light side to save Luke."

"Lord Vader succumbed to sentiment and let his son defeat him," Ren argued. "I vowed to kill my father like Skywalker killed his. It should have proven that I was stronger than Vader. Killing Han Solo should have given me answers. But it left me with weakness."

"Do you regret inheriting Vader's mission?"

He gave me a sharp glance and shook his head. "Lord Vader sought to replace chaos with stability, a principle the First Order upholds to this day. I have no issues with that. No, my doubts lie only with Supreme Leader. He can't help me find the answers I seek."

"Who can?"

He looked up at me, his eyes dark and fathomless.

"You, I think."

My fingers faltered. There were a million things I wanted to say to him, but I never had the chance because the entire Grylix tribe flooded into the temple, chittering at the top of their lungs.

"What riled them up?" Ren asked, irritated at the noise, or perhaps the interruption.

I listened to their echoing words, then dropped Ren's hand and jumped to my feet. "Someone is here."

We Force jumped off of the island so our clothes didn't get wet again and scrambled to throw on our shoes. We ran to the entrance of the Gryl's cliffside village, where the caves opened up and met the path that wound up from the base of the plateau. The Grylix didn't follow us, but I could hear their chirps and warbles echoing through the caves above us as they sought safer vantage points at the edge of the cliff.

I reached the mouth of the cave, and after my eyes adjusted to the late afternoon sun I saw a familiar figure approaching the village, blaster in hand.

"It's Finn," I gasped.

He looked up and saw me, and a brilliant smile split his face. "Rey!"

We jogged forward to meet each other. "Rey, what are you doing here? Don't you recognize that ship?" he asked, pointing to Kylo's command shuttle parked far below us.

"Yes, I recognize it."

Finn twirled his wrist in a circle, as if I should be drawing a very obvious conclusion. "So that means he's here, and we need to go. Now." He grabbed my hand and gave it a strong tug.

I made the mistake of glancing over my shoulder, to the spot where Ren was hidden in the shadows at the back of the cave. Finn dropped my hand as horrible realization crept across his features. "You know he's here. That's why you came. Rey, are you under a mind trick?" He gripped either side of my head and tilted it around, staring into my eyes from different angles. "Are you in there? Are you okay?"

"Finn, stop it!" I grimaced as I pushed his hands away. "I'm fine. It's me."

A deep voice spoke from behind me. "Rey is here under her own free will." Ren had emerged from the cave, eyes glittering and ready for a fight.

Finn immediately positioned himself between us. He puffed out his chest, aimed his blaster at Kylo and fired several times.

I started to cry out, but in that split second Ren threw his hand forward and wrapped enough Force power around the bolts to abruptly freeze them in mid-air. They vibrated and crackled, angry at being unnaturally restrained.

Ren had repelled my blaster bolts with his lightsaber on Takodana, and I'd seen his skill with Force telekinesis during Potentium missions, but my mouth fell open in shock all the same.

The Grylix tribe had scattered, retreating from their vantage points above us in the cliff face. Their normally inquisitive chirps had transformed into anxious yowls and angry hisses. My heart sank – blaster fire from strangers wasn't winning the Resistance any friends.

Meanwhile, an ugly look crossed Finn's face. He spoke to me without taking his gaze off of Ren. "Rey, Kylo Ren used that same power against Poe before he took him prisoner and tortured him. That same night he slaughtered a defenseless old man and had a whole village butchered by Stormtroopers. He's still that person. Never forget that."

Then Finn stopped, and sort of stared at Ren for a long second, before asking him, "What are you wearing?"

Ren scowled down at his outfit: the same vest, tan shirt, and loose pants I'd given him several weeks ago, now sporting some extra dirt and several new rips in the fabric.

"It's what he wears for training," I said quickly. "That's what we're doing here. We've been training together. In secret."

Finn's mouth dropped open, and his features screwed up into an incredulous look of disgust.

"Are you crazy?" he yelled at me. "Training with Kylo Ren? Why would you do something so stupid?"

"No stupider than firing that blaster at me, FN-2187," Ren drawled.

Finn bristled at the sound of his old name and raised his blaster again.

"You," I pointed at Ren, "are not helping. Knock it off." I pulled at Finn's arm, but he refused to back down.

"If I catch you anywhere near her again, I'll kill you," he warned Kylo. The Knight made a sharp hand gesture that violently ripped the crackling blaster bolts to shreds.

"Let's just go," I urged Finn. "We were done here anyway."

'No, we weren't,' Ren growled at me privately through the bond.

'Stop it, Kylo,' I snapped into his head, exasperated with both of them. 'If you hurt Finn, I'm finished with Potentium. Forever. You'll never find your answers.'

Finn glanced between me and Ren. I was positive he knew about the invisible conversation passing between us. However, when Ren took a step backward, he did the same and gradually lowered the blaster.

I shot Ren a final look of warning and pulled Finn into step beside me. We left the Grylix village behind, descending to the base of the plateau where all three starships gleamed in the sun.

I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Ren's tiny black figure watching us from the mouth of the cave. 'You're teaching me how to freeze blaster bolts,' I sent him through the bond, but he didn't answer.

"How did you find me?" I asked Finn.

"I stuck a transmitter on your ship," he admitted. I held in a sharp reprimand. Though I appreciated having friends who cared, stalking me across the galaxy seemed nearly as intrusive as the times Kylo Ren had barged into my head. "I was worried about you. I never knew where you were going because you always wiped the coordinate logs from your ship. Guess now I know why."

"Finn, please listen. This is important. Luke and Leia know I'm here. Leia asked me to try to turn Kylo Ren away from the Order. It's been my secret mission for a few months now. Ren doesn't know. Nobody does. I'm sorry I lied to you."

Finn held up his palm, bitterness written all over his face. "If I wasn't told about this from the start, don't try explaining it now. I guess being the chief strategy officer of the Resistance doesn't mean much to some people. I came after you because there's been an attack. We had a bad clash with the Order. Prisoners were taken."

"Who?"

"We have Captain Phasma."

"But… who else?"

"The Order got Fariya."

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