Yay it's Saturday, my favourite day of the week because it's the day that I update. And I'm particularly excited about updating right now because Remus is finally in the land of the living :)
I am so pleased by your response to the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and thanks to those of you who are following this story- 52 people now, woop :). I also want to specially thank Lupinesence, who has reviewed every chapter so far- your support and feedback really motivate me to write :)
This week I've been working really hard on the story. I've written up to chapter fifteen and I've planned chapters sixteen to twenty-four in detail.
Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling and I don't own Harry Potter. I'm a dedicated fan whose obsession with these characters compels me to write about them.
'Remus,' Hermione whispered tenderly, gazing at him in wonder.
He was silent. He hadn't moved. He simply stood there with a look of adoration on his face. He was dressed in exactly the same shabby robes he had been in the night he died. The moonlight that shone through the leaves on the trees illuminated his skin, giving it an ethereal quality. He was as tall as she remembered but his face was different; the scars he had borne on his face were gone. His hair was thicker and darker, with no streaks of grey. He looked years younger than he had been when he died.
'What are you doing here?' Hermione whispered, her voice faltering slightly.
He remained silent and she wondered if he could speak or not. Was she dreaming? Had her grief finally driven her mad? Or was Remus really standing in front of her? Slowly she reached out to touch his arm. Her hand passed right through him.
He finally spoke. 'Hermione.' His voice was full of longing but it had the same gentle gruffness that she remembered.
'Remus,' she said, her voice catching more now. She felt tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.
'Hermione, Hermione,' he said, taking a step forward. He sounded like he was trying to console her as well reacquaint his voice with speaking her name. 'My beautiful Hermione.'
Hermione was about to ask him how he had come back to her but she remembered the cold, hard little stone that she still clutched. She looked down at it and then slowly back up at him.
'I think… I think I brought you back… with this,' she held up the stone to show him. 'It's the Resurrection Stone.'
His eyes widened and he stared at the stone for a long moment. 'How long has it been?'
'Six years,' she murmured.
A series of bright flashes appeared in the sky followed by the rumbling sound of explosions.
Remus looked up and gazed through the canopy of leaves above them. 'Fireworks.'
'Yes,' Hermione said, unable to tear her gaze from him. 'It's the six anniversary of the end of the war tonight.'
They were silent for a while. The air felt cooler. Hermione shivered and noticed goose bumps appearing on her skin.
'You should get back to the castle,' Remus finally said. 'But leave the stone here.'
'No!' Hermione cried suddenly.
Somehow she understood that if she was to drop the stone back on the forest floor, the connection between it and Remus would break and he would disappear again. She couldn't bear to lose him again.
'You have to,' he said gently. 'I don't belong here. And it's not healthy for you. You need to forget about me and move on.'
'How can I?' Hermione said in an agonised voice. 'Don't you know what it's been like for me all these years?'
'Yes, I do,' he said honestly, his gaze sincere.
'Then how can you say that?' A wail of anguish was ripped out of her and she had to force her words out in between sobs. 'Every morning… I w-wake up and I expect to see you… b-but you're not there! I struggle through another day b-because I h-have to… and then I c-cry myself to sleep every night! What kind of life is that? It's not a life worth living.'
Her voice had become almost inaudible. She wept quietly, pleading with him with her eyes. The fireworks continued to go off, matching the emotional chaos that her mind had become. He watched her and said nothing for a long time. She cried until there was nothing left inside her. She was utterly defeated. Her eyes were sore, her throat was strained and her lungs pulled in deep gasps of air as she tried to calm down.
'Take the stone with you then,' he said slowly, as though he were carefully thinking about what he was saying, 'so I can be with you.'
'R-really?'
'Yes,' he said steadily.
She waited until the fireworks had ended. She knew that the guests would have all gone back inside the castle now. She turned the stone over and Remus disappeared. She felt a pang of loss but she knew that she could call him back to her whenever she wanted. She slipped the stone carefully into her bag and began to make her way back through the forest and over the castle grounds. Once she reached the beginning of the little path that led to Hogsmeade she took out her wand and apparated to her apartment.
As soon as Hermione was inside, she took the stone out and turned it again. Remus appeared once more. He momentarily gazed around the room, trying to get his bearings but he smiled as soon as he saw her. She stood awkwardly, not knowing how she should act. She placed the stone carefully on the table by the front door, which she used as a place to put her keys when she got home.
'I don't know what to do,' she said. 'This is surreal.'
'Just do what you normally do when you get home,' he suggested.
'Well… I could really do with a cup of tea,' she said.
He smiled and nodded, following her to the kitchen. She busied herself filling the kettle and setting it to boil. He watched her quietly, seeming to think that even the most mundane tasks were interesting when she performed them. She took a cup from her tea cup tree and set in on the counter. She glanced at him.
'Do you want-'
'No,' he said with a slight smile. 'In my… shall we say… current condition I don't think I need refreshments.'
'No, of course,' Hermione said, feeling silly. She made her tea and then turned around to face him. 'So… now what?'
'How about we go and sit down in your living room?'
'Okay,' she said.
Having Remus in her apartment felt utterly strange to her, especially as Remus was so normal, as though he had just popped round for a chat. Of course, many years ago she had dreamed about it happening someday but since she had lost him she obviously thought it would never happen.
She went into her living room and curled up in her usual spot on the sofa. She placed her tea on the side table. Remus sat next to her. It was odd. He was incorporeal. They couldn't touch each other but it seemed he could sit down without falling through his seat.
At first, Hermione felt awkward. After six years of separation, she wasn't sure how to talk to him or even what to say. But slowly, their familiar closeness came back to them. Soon Hermione was telling him, in subdued tones, all about her life and everything that had happened to her since the end of the war. He listened attentively and eventually Hermione's voice grew tired of talking.
There was eventually a lull in the conversation and they sat in comfortable silence for a while but Hermione soon broke it.
'Remus… where have you been since, you know…'
'Since I died,' he said quietly. 'You don't have to avoid saying it, I don't mind. It's the truth.'
Hermione closed her eyes and winced, feeling the familiar stab of pain that came to her when she thought about it. He was mentioning something she could hardly bear to think about.
'I was in a very strange place,' he said. Hermione opened her eyes to look at him, and he continued. 'I suppose it was… limbo. I don't know what else to call it.'
He began to explain to her all about the forest he had inhabited for six years. He explained about how he spent his time wandering and dreaming about her. He explained about the other wolves. And he even explained that he had watched her as she lived her life.
When he had finished, Hermione was astounded. She knew very few people must get the opportunity to speak to someone who had actually experienced the afterlife.
'So it wasn't… heaven?' She asked. She felt as though even her extensive vocabulary was ill-equipped to talk about ideas and places that went beyond anything any human could understand.
'No,' he said with certainty. 'It most certainly wasn't. I think it was a place for werewolves.'
He began to describe the forest in more detail. He told her that he was trapped in his wolf form when he was there and he tried to explain the desolation and solitude that he felt. He tried to describe the terrifying claustrophobia that loneliness and darkness caused. He tried to explain the relentless exhaustion of wandering the forest that was only interrupted by the blissful moments when he could hide from reality and lose himself in dreams of her.
Hermione had tears in her eyes. She could hardly believe he had existed in so terrible a place.
'You can never go back there,' she whispered.
He lifted his hand to her face and tried to stroke her cheek. His hand passed straight through her. It served to remind them of the impossibility of his existence in the mortal world.
'How can I stay?' he murmured. 'I want to, more than anything. I wish I could be with you but… I'm dead. So how can I stay?'
She shook her head, refusing to believe that she'd lose him again. 'I'll find a way to bring you back,' she said with certainty.
They resumed their conversation, speaking of everything and nothing. Hermione edged closer and closer towards Remus and they were soon as intimate as it was possible for them to be. It pained her that she couldn't touch him. She longed to hold his hand and snuggle into his side, to lay her head on his chest while he wrapped his arm around her. But at least he was with her. So for now, she was happy with the way things were.
The night wore on, but neither of them noticed. Yet Hermione felt herself growing tired and she struggled to stay awake. She was afraid that if she closed her eyes, he would disappear. But eventually she grew so drowsy she couldn't help but succumb to sleep, the most peaceful sleep she had had in six years.
Hermione awoke gently, her mind and body slowly shaking off the remaining vestiges of sleep. It was still dark. She never usually woke this early because she usually stayed up late, weeping into the night. She felt tired, although far less than she usually did.
She peered around her, noticing that she was in her living room. She had fallen asleep on her sofa. Odd. She frowned, initially unable to remember what she had been doing just before sleeping. As she awoke more fully, she suddenly remembered and her eyes widened. She glanced around and gasped. Remus was sitting on her sofa, quietly watching her.
'Good morning,' he said, smiling.
She smiled back at him. 'Sorry I fell asleep,' she said.
He shook his head. 'Don't worry about it. I was content just to sit here and watch you sleep. You looked peaceful for once.'
'How long was I asleep?' she asked.
'Only about three hours,' he replied.
Hermione stretched and Remus watched her. Her stomach rumbled. 'I should have breakfast.' It was the first time she had actually felt hungry in a long time.
She got up and he followed her to the kitchen. She didn't want to overdo it so she made herself a piece of toast and a cup of tea. She sat down at her kitchen table and Remus joined her. She ate in silence. Remus placed his hands near her cup and held them there, as if he were warming his hands.
'Can you feel it?' she asked curiously.
'A little bit,' he said and he began to concentrate more closely on the cup and his hand. Slowly, he closed his hand around it and Hermione watched in surprise, thinking that he'd managed it but his hand went straight through. She sighed in disappointment.
'I thought you'd made yourself corporeal then,' she said sadly. 'But you shouldn't be able to feel the heat of the tea. That has to mean something.'
'Maybe there's someone we can ask,' he said. 'An expert. But I doubt that anyone apart from you and Harry has used the Resurrection Stone for centuries.'
'I think we should keep it secret for now anyway,' she said. 'I mean… about you being back… people might not understand.'
He nodded. 'Okay, that's fine by me. I can't even leave this apartment without you taking the stone out with you, so I'm not going to see anyone.'
Hermione finished her toast and began drinking her tea. She glanced at the clock. 'I'm going to Flourish and Blotts before work to see if I can find any books that might be helpful. I'll have to start getting ready in a minute if I'm going to leave early.'
She quickly washed and dried her breakfast things and tidied them away. She left Remus in the kitchen and went to get changed into her usual work attire of a pleated skirt and blouse. When she was ready, she returned to the kitchen to see Remus before she left.
'I'm going in a second,' she said, her voice almost apologetic. 'I'm sorry to have to leave you here all alone. Are you going to be okay?'
He nodded. 'I'll be fine.'
'Feel free to make yourself at home. I'll ask my boss if I can have an extended lunch break and I'll come back here.'
On her way out she grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl that was on one of her kitchen counters. She opened the front door but she glanced back at Remus who had followed her into the living room.
'See you later,' she said happily, and left.
She apparated into Diagon Alley and walked up the old cobbled street with a spring in her step. For the first time in years, she began to feel better. The heavy weight of grief was gradually being lifted from her. She looked up at the sky and noticed how bright the morning sun was. Two young children ran past her, leading a dog on a lead which was galloping boisterously alongside them. Their mother followed, hurrying to keep up. Hermione laughed and the sound was strange coming from her but she was pleased.
She reached Florish and Blotts and went inside. No other customers were in at this time of the morning so she was free to browse the shelves at her leisure and enjoy the quiet before she arrived at the noisy, bustling Ministry.
She spotted a promising-looking title called Myths of the Magical World and she stretched up on her toes and pulled it down from a high shelf. She skim read the book's blurb and flicked to the index page, scanning for any useful words and phrases. Under R she found the words Resurrection Stone. The book had a few pages dedicated to the subject.
She glanced up at the clock in the shop and noted that it was just past half eight. She wanted to get to work so she could spend a while reading. She decided to buy the book so she went to the till to pay for it.
When she got to the Ministry, she ate her banana and made herself another cup of tea. She sat at her desk and turned to the first page that mentioned the Resurrection Stone:
The Resurrection Stone, purported to be one of the three Deathly Hallows, the mythical magical objects originally owned by Cadmus Peverell and his brothers, has long been a matter of great debate for scholars. Its existence has never been confirmed, nor has its whereabouts ever been discovered. Yet, even the idea of the stone has captured the imaginations of great magical folk over the centuries, from Merlin to Dumbledore.
The stone has the power to recall spirits from the afterlife. It draws on the ancient magic of love and the user must have a deep, profound connection with the dead in order to raise it.
Allegedly, spirits raised by the stone are neither fully ghost nor fully human, but somewhere between the two. They are incorporeal, and cannot touch or be touched. They aren't translucent but rather solid in hue.
It is said that, depending on the strength of the relationship between the spirit and the user of the stone, a spirit can be held by the stone as their soul becomes bound to it until such a time that it is released and sent back to the spirit realm. If such a thing is possible, it would have to be an act of love, not hate, due to the nature of the stone.
The stone is claimed to be a source of fatal madness to its users, therefore it is very dangerous and can lead to the death of the user either by murder due to jealous seekers of it or by suicide, as Cadmus Peverell was supposed to have committed after being driven mad by the spirit of his lost love.
The stone also has a dark purpose, because it is rumoured that it can be used to conjure an army of Inferi. The truth of this statement is debated by scholars because in order to conjure these undead beings, one must first give the spirits a solid form so they can exist physically on the mortal plain, and no such feat has been deemed possible. Further, the creation of Inferi is an abominable act of evil, and therefore directly contradicts the nature of an object that is so connected with love, a genuine, sincere and undying force of goodness.
Further reading:
Magical stones, p. 25
The Deathly Hallows, p. 40
Peverell family, p. 49
Death myths, p. 91
Dangerous artefacts, p. 136
Hermione finished the passage and was about to turn to the pages mentioned under the 'further reading' heading but she thought better of it. She should get started on her paperwork even though she had never been less motivated to work in her entire career so far. Her boss had agreed to let her have a long lunch but he would expect her to work harder to get her tasks done.
Reluctantly, she shut the book and slipped it inside her bag. Then she picked up her quill, unscrewed the cap of her ink bottle and reached for the first document she had to read and edit.
More soon :)
