Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the story or characters of InuYasha, they belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I make no profit from writing this fanfiction.
A/N: Slight spoilers for the ending of anime so if you haven't seen it... I'm not telling which parts are spoilers. I would also recommend reading my short story Father's Blood in preparation for this chapter. It's not strictly necessary but I'd appreciate it and it does give you background.
...Head On
"Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome said in surprise. She gave a little bow then stood in awkward silence for a moment. "Were you headed back in?" she pointed to the now closed citadel gate. She wasn't sure why he was there, he was making her nervous just staring at her. She rubbed her arm. "Um, I'm leaving now so... it was good seeing you again, I'm glad I could help. Goodbye, Lord Sesshomaru." She didn't even register the words spewing out of her mouth, she just knew she had to get away.
She walked past his still form and continued down the road. She was surprised and filled with a sense of déjà vu as he once again started following her. Unlike last time she intended to question it, the situation had changed and he was confusing her, so she stopped to turn and face him. "What are you doing?" she asked softly, looking up at him.
He met her eyes without hesitation. "I will escort you home."
She was wary, what were his motives? "Why?" the question slipped out.
One of his delicate eyebrows rose. If he were truthful he would admit she'd left a hole in his life when she'd left the last time. But he wasn't done deceiving himself just yet. He'd convinced himself that he had to find out why she was affecting him so. The easiest way to discover the truths he was looking for was to spend more time in her presence, even though it set him with a sense of disquiet.
She saw his look and sighed mentally, she knew that look, it was his 'This Sesshomaru does not need to explain himself' look. She cringed. "Sorry, you are welcome to accompany me. I appreciate it."
They stared at each other another few minutes trying to size the other up. Kagome was the first to break the eye contact and she blushed. She turned and continued walking, expecting him to dutifully follow behind her. She had gone only a few steps when his voice stopped her in her tracks and she realized he hadn't started walking again.
"Priestess." He had considered that since he had supplied her ride here it would only be hospitable if he didn't make her walk back, so he came up with a logical solution. "Come here."
Her eyes widened and a slight blush warmed her cheeks. Though she was having an internal battle about it she did as she was told. His eyes seemed to bore into hers, but she wasn't unaware of the rest of him. Toe to toe she could truly appreciate his height, he was at least a head and a half taller than her. He was broad at the shoulders but not wrestler bulky, his build was more akin to the warrior-swordsman he was.
His right hand extended and slipped around her waist. She sucked in a breath and was assaulted with his warm scent once more. She had a stray thought about Ichtio, how he had smelled nice, but that Sesshomaru smelled so much better. Her hands came up to brace herself against his armor.
Sesshomaru also was not unaffected now that he had a hold of her. He pulled her to his side and could feel her warmth even through his armor, and even more so against his right leg. That wonderful smell he'd come across in her room once again filled his being with heat.
Kagome felt his pelt brush across her left shoulder and mix with her hair. She tried to contain her shudder but she knew he could feel it when she heard and felt his low growl. Far from frightening it stirred something withing her she'd not felt before. 'Oh, spirits!' she chastised herself.
Even through their clothes both could feel the other's power prickling against or with each other. Sesshomaru swallowed, he hadn't anticipated another reaction to her physical touch similar to when she had healed his hand. He grit his teeth to maintain his composure.
Slowly he took off from the ground, causing her to clasp him more tightly. They sped and he wrapped her firm against him. For both of them the trip was agonizingly slow and far too fast. It had been no more than a couple hours and they alighted in front of her hut, neither had really registered the passage of time or scenery, and neither had spoken a word.
As their feet touched ground he loosened his hold but didn't fully release her.
She turned herself away from his touch embarrassed, but instantly missed it. She was slightly ashamed of her reaction to him since she had no idea where they stood with each other right now.
He watched, confirming she had been equally affected by their closeness. 'Interesting.'
She thought she heard him make a purr-like sound and her blush deepened as she tried to avoid his eyes. 'What has gotten into me?' She knew she'd always found Sesshomaru attractive (blind people would find him attractive) but unapproachable. Lately they'd grown closer, sort of. She felt drawn to him in a way she'd once been drawn to InuYasha. Had the half-demon been right? Did she have a fetish for dog demons? Or was it just these brothers?
The wind* rushed down the hill from behind Kagome sweeping her hair and clothes forward towards the demon lord. Sesshomaru took a deep breath and was once again filled with the miko, though this time it was different. Spice, arousal. It was slight but it was there. He tensed and his hands flexed at his sides. Her draw to him was undeniable but it shook him to his foundations.
"Tha – thank you, Lord Sesshomaru."
He nodded and they continued to stare at one another in silence. "This Sesshomaru has business in this area."
She wondered why he was bothering telling her, but nodded her understanding of his need to leave.
He stepped forward crowding her a bit, to her merit she didn't shy away. He took a strand of her ebony locks and ran it through his fingers. His voice was soft as his lips neared her ear. "I will return," his voice full of promise.
Kagome was sure she'd lost her hold on reality and her eyes fluttered closed. When they worked their way open again she was alone.
She wasn't sure her blush would ever recede.
~0~
InuYasha felt the crawling along his spine that usually accompanied the presence of a nearby strong youki. He automatically drew Tessaiga and braced himself for a fight, that was until until he he recognized the aura; he was still apprehensive when he did, as well as more than a little confused, but he wasn't as tense. Sesshomaru hadn't sought out his company in many, many years, and there was no way that the Western Lord would allow his presence to be known if he wasn't seeking him out.
Their relationship was one of mostly avoidance these days. InuYasha wasn't sure how the elder viewed him, but on his part there was at least a grudging admiration – not that he'd ever tell Sesshomaru that! They didn't fight anymore but that didn't mean they acted brotherly. Too many years of resentment. InuYasha did sometimes wish for more of a relationship, Sesshomaru was his only living relative, but that was also something he'd never tell the full-blooded inu.
The demon lord appeared in front of the half-demon a second after he'd been recognized. "InuYasha."
In the past when Sesshomaru had said that it was derisive and cold, now it sounded almost congenial and familial.
Now InuYasha was really worried, but not in a way that required a sword so he sheathed his blade to it's scabbard by rote. "Sesshomaru?" He knew it had to have taken a lot for the lord to approach his estranged kin.
Unbeknownst to the demon lord his thoughts ran in a similar vein to his brother's. Over the years Sesshomaru's opinion of his sibling had changed. In the beginning Sesshomaru had viewed his brother as a stain on their glorious heritage. Whereas they were not close now he did respect InuYasha's resolve and strength. Strength had always been something he admired in others because it was something he himself aspired to.
It was in the final battles with Naraku that Sesshomaru truly started to see his brother differently and relinquished his desire for Tessaiga. He knew now the sword had gone to the right master. He still didn't refer to the half-breed as a relation in public, but what no one knew was the true reason for that.
It was to protect InuYasha.
It was why the elder still stressed to those who mentioned InuYasha that it was to be by his hand alone that the younger inu would die. In a way he had claimed his brother like he had claimed the Shikon Miko. It was the only way he had left between them to act like a brother.
This didn't mean he wasn't acknowledging his brothers fighting skills, rough as they were, he knew InuYasha could protect himself. (He had often wondered how good InuYasha could be if he'd taken him in and trained him properly. Perhaps he would've exceeded even his glorious self.) No, the main reason was he knew the demands of being a leader, of being a son of the West. He knew InuYasha was not prepared to take on those responsibilities. Part of it was his crude personality, but also his known desire for freedom. If he were an acknowledged heir he would be forced to preform those duties. Sesshomaru knew InuYasha wouldn't enjoy it. On a fundamental level he wanted InuYasha to have the freedom he had never had, what he had never been given the choice for.
"This Sesshomaru must speak with you."
The younger inu cocked his head and scrutinized his brother several minutes before nodding, then indicated a nearby fallen tree to sit on. He wondered if Sesshomaru were ill, or maybe somebody had died. He feared for Rin, he hoped for Jaken. They stepped over to the log in silence and Sesshomaru sat stiffly a respectable distance away from his sibling.
InuYasha crossed his arms into the Fire Rat robes as he waited. He analyzed his older sibling but still couldn't figure out why he could possibly be there. "Spit it out, would ya."
Sesshomaru gave the barest glance at the other male. "The Shikon Miko has recently been in my territory..."
"I heard," his eyes narrowed, "What's with doin' what ya did anyways? Why'd you give her your stuff?" his voice rose. Deep, deep in his heart he was jealous. He didn't want to think if it was because of the attention Kagome got or because of the attention Sesshomaru gave. He could smell the woman's scent all over his brother, that meant they'd been in close contact recently. His blood boiled still further.
"I have claimed her as a retainer."
Of course InuYasha knew this but he wondered how far he'd take it. "That's a big load to dump on her, did you explain it to her?" Sesshomaru refused to look at InuYasha so the younger really became furious and leaped from his seat to stand on the log. "Does she even know what it means?! She's not from here, her time is nothing like this." He waved his arm indicating their surroundings.
More silence from the older inu made InuYasha blow his top and get up in his brother's face. He jumped down to stand in front of him. "She doesn't know, does she?! You claimed power over her, she can't do or say anything without your approval and she has to be at your beck and call. If you don't like whatever she is or does you have a right to kill her. Shit, she can't even marry without your say-so! She's your slave until you release her. I know Kagome, and she'd never agree to that willingly!"
Sesshomaru stood swiftly, forcing InuYasha to take a step back. His eyes narrowed but his voice stayed steady. "You know not of the circumstances. It was done out of necessity, there was no other option other than violence. The miko was in need and This Sesshomaru stepped in."
InuYasha was gobsmacked. Was this really Sesshomaru? Hard-ass, human-hating, Lord of Ice? He really studied his older brother at that point. He couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. It just wasn't possible, this couldn't be happening. As he watched his brother now he was surprised to see it was exactly what he'd feared. His voice went quiet, "Sesshomaru, do you have feelings for Kagome?"
The lord stiffened and brushed the statement off. "This Sesshomaru merely respects her power. Do not be vulgar." Even if it were true to some degree he wasn't going to talk about it with InuYasha!
Again InuYasha couldn't believe it. Surely that suggestion would've been ridiculous to his older brother. No response would've meant that it was so pathetic it wasn't worthy of a reply. Maybe a glare if he were lucky. InuYasha hadn't expected a reply, much less a confirmation of his brother's interest. Though that wasn't what it sounded like on the surface he knew his brother better than that. How did this happen? He was sure there had never been an attraction between them before, what had changed?
He didn't want to think about this any more. "Wha' ya come here for?" he asked as he folded his arms, all the fight had drained out of his voice, shock had set in.
Sesshomaru stood still for a minute trying to phrase his question. "The priestess displays a greater power than she has in the past. How do you account for it?"
InuYasha was tempted to tell Sesshomaru to go kiss* himself, but for Kagome's sake he took a minute to consider his actions – as unbelievable as that may be. "When Naraku's body was destroyed and Kagome was sucked into the meidō she was confronted by the Shikon Jewel itself. She made the wish that it would disappear forever from this world and it shattered. We led everyone to believe that the whole jewel disappeared but it didn't quite."
Sesshomaru stared at his brother expectantly. The younger demon seemed to pause in his story to study him, whatever he was looking for he seemed to find it because he continued.
"The Shikon did grant Kagome her wish and the jewel itself was gone, but the power couldn't be destroyed only transferred. It fused into Kagome. She is the power of the Shikon no Tama."
This explained so much to the demon lord, how she could be so much more powerful now, and the healing of demons and humans alike. "Why did she not confess this when I asked?"
InuYasha snorted, "Like she should go blabbing that she has the power of the jewel inside her? Just think of all the demons that would try to rip her to shreds to get it – or die trying."
That was a strategically sound move on her part, Sesshomaru approved.
"I was with her in the meidō and we both saw what happened. It wasn't 'til she used her powers again that we noticed the change."
"Is the jewel sustaining her life?"
InuYasha cocked his head to the side. "Wadda ya mean?"
Sesshomaru looked at him like he was dense. "She has not appeared to age in the last decade."
The younger inu shrugged. "Hadn't noticed. Maybe? Just thought that was her."
The lord of the west wondered how far the power could sustain her, would she live the lifetime of a full blood youki? It was an intriguing thought.
A thought came to him and InuYasha narrowed his eyes. "Hold up, is your only interest in her her power? If so, just walk away from her right now! She won't put up with that kind of shit."
Sesshomaru shot him a deadly glare.
"Don't look at me like that, you bastard. I won't let you–"
Before he could utter another word Sesshomaru had a hold of the front of his Fire Rat haori and was lifting him off his feet. "You would not let me do what, whelp?" the demon lord hissed in contempt. "Hurt her? Such as the way you hurt her?"
InuYasha bristled, 'He knows.' "You don't know what you're talking about!" He struggled against his brother's iron grip as he willed the blush of shame from his cheeks.
Sesshomaru tossed him away and he slid several feet in the soft earth. "You and I both know exactly what you did. It was deplorable."
InuYasha tsk'ed as he got to his feet. "I don't answer to you, Sesshomaru!" The demon lord leveled the younger with a glare that said; 'you should' and InuYasha's eyes fell away. No matter how he felt about Sesshomaru he couldn't break his instincts when near him. It would continually be a fight for dominance between them and somewhere deep inside, in a place he never wanted to visit, he knew Sesshomaru would win.
InuYasha tried to fight his annoyance down. "What exactly is your interest in Kagome all of a sudden?"
Sesshomaru looked to the sky briefly watching a lazy cloud roll by. "She fascinates me." He didn't know why he answered, it just slipped out in hushed tones.
InuYasha's eyes widened in surprise then narrowed at his elder brother. "This isn't a game! She's not a toy for your amusement!"
Sesshomaru returned his gaze to his sibling but said nothing. He wondered why the boy protested so. He clearly had no romantic feelings for the priestess any longer, if the scent on the boy was authentic his affections now led elsewhere. Was it lingering protectiveness? Perhaps, but perhaps it was also something else.
InuYasha seethed in the face of Sesshomaru's cool demeanor. "What do you want her for?"
"What would you do if This Sesshomaru said he wanted her as a mate?" Sesshomaru wondered.
InuYasha shook with conflicting emotions, but then a thought came to him and he calmed. "She may not want you."
"This Sesshomaru could take her by force."
InuYasha shook his head. He knew Sesshomaru wouldn't do that, his massive pride wouldn't let him. Even if he desired Kagome's power to the point he'd do it she wouldn't let him. "She'd purify your ass." He folded his arms into his sleeves, confident in his assertion.
Sesshomaru wanted to scoff at that, playing it off as InuYasha's arrogant boasting, but he wondered. InuYasha had fought him and had been subjected to, and subjugated by, Kagome's powers, perhaps it wasn't boasting. That made a pleasant tingle run up his spine at the thought of her subduing him. "She is a good match for This Sesshomaru. It would be logical to align our powers."
InuYasha did the scoffing this time. "Right. Well, I have nothin' to worry about. She'll never accept you if you take that approach, you'd have to show her something different. She don't see relationships in such practical terms."
'Show her something different?' He had to agree his miko was a peculiar creature and understanding her was trying at best. That was one of the aspects of her that fascinated him so, he could take the rest of his considerable lifespan delving into her secrets and he felt he would never grow weary of her. At least he had the assurance of her attraction to him.
Sesshomaru felt the immediate need to return to Kagome, he had to speak with her.
InuYasha watched Sesshomaru turn from him and walk back the way he'd come. "You're going back to try aren't you." His voice was too resigned for his liking.
The lord stopped but didn't turn back. "Yes." Would his brother try to stop him?
InuYasha heaved a great sigh. He knew he probably shouldn't stop Sesshomaru from at least trying to woo Kagome (as much as that thought nauseated him) but he had to see for himself if the feelings were going to be returned. He worried that they might. "I'll go with you."
Sesshomaru truly didn't care if he tagged along but he wondered at his half-brother's motives and so they headed back towards the hut at the edge of the forest.
~o0o~
Kagome broke herself out of her trance and walked into her hut, setting her things down. She puttered most of the day, her thoughts distracted. Even after Sesshomaru was gone Kagome's heart still raced. Every time she thought of his touch, smell, the sound of his voice, she would flush, hot all over. She tried to put him out of her head but she just kept coming back to his unsettling behavior.
Ever since she'd healed his hand there had been this different tension between them. If she were honest it started even before that. From the time they met again she'd had this feeling she couldn't put her finger on. He must have felt it too, otherwise why would he have stayed with her, helping her as much as he had?
She had no idea what the the lord was thinking or feeling, he sure was acting different. She looked within herself, how did she feel? She thought back on her previous relationships – she didn't count Kouga or Hojo, though they were friends that thought of her romantically she didn't think of them that way.
InuYasha still held a special place in her heart, he'd been her first love, her first kiss. She still loved him in a way, she always would, but now it was only the romanticized idea of what could have been that held him there. If she were truthful she would say she'd been gradually been falling out of love with InuYasha even before the "incident", but at the time she held tightly to the dream of them together. The dream had blinded her to the reality of their relationship.
She'd had a foolish girly fantasy that she would've made work at all costs. Now that it was gone she didn't mourn its passing as much as she knew she should. Funny how time can give you perspective on such things.
What she had told Sesshomaru had been true; there had been other men through the years who had shown interest in her, Ichtio being only the most recent. Some were merely infatuated but others she had seen potential with. None had ever come close to her heart the way InuYasha had, not until now.
'Am I falling in love with Sesshomaru?!'
That concept didn't seem that foreign to her as she knew it once would have. Of course he was beautiful but she'd known many beautiful beings, it was more than that. She felt... safe ...with him, how odd from the demon known as the Killing Perfection. The power he exuded over his lands, in his household, from his very being, was something she couldn't overlook. It was attractive to her.
She had noticed more lately her physical, emotional, and spiritual reaction him. It was as if her soul and body were crying out for him. It frightened her, that he could wield this much power over her heart; an organ that was already highly bruised.
When she had used her power to heal his hand she'd touched something inside him which in return touched something in her. Now that 'something' didn't want to let go, it wanted more.
In him she'd found an equal, though he may not be fond of the comparison. They shared history together, it was true that not all of it was positive between them but at least it was mutual. It gave them a sort of shorthand, all she had to do was mention an incident and all the emotions and circumstances didn't need to be explained. It was refreshing. She did miss her friends for that but the separation from them was necessary. She would protect them, especially from herself, even if they didn't want it.
Kagome took a deep breath and let it out slowly while pressing a hand to her chest. She had to admit, at least to herself, her interest in him, but what of the demon himself? She didn't' think he'd admit an attraction even if there was one. Not that there was one. 'Why would he even look twice at me?'
Sesshomaru still consumed her thoughts hours later when she was eating dinner by the fire, facing away from the door. She shook her head trying to rid his persistent presence.
"Mamma."
A tenor voice startled her making her drop her bowl and she turned around with a snap. "Shippo!" She jumped up to greet the demon in her doorway.
The fox had grown from the small fluff ball over the years, when she'd seen him last he was her height, now he was a couple inches taller.
She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her with a laugh. She pulled back and put her hands on his face. "Look at you, my little kit."
He closed his eyes and leaned in to bury his face in her neck. "My little mamma," he said reverently. He was taking in her calming scent when he froze, his emerald eyes snapping open. "Kagome?" There were many confusing things he smelled on her, the most prevalent was the Lord of The West.
She knew what he had smelled and she smiled apologetically. "We need to talk." She took his hand as he nodded and they sat back at the fire. Kagome laid out everything that had happened in the last several months. She mentioned Ichtio's town in how it related to what Sesshomaru had done, though she skipped over Ichtio's private proposal.
Shippo was highly disturbed by the demon lord's claim on his foster mother. "Are you alright?" His question went beyond her physical well being. He worried she was being pressured into this.
Kagome smiled distantly. "I'm fine. Sesshomaru has been good to me." Her eyes drifted to the fire as her mind wandered to far away thoughts.
Shippo's eyes widened as he read the look on Kagome's face, he'd seen it before. He was shocked and his heart tightened. She'd been hurt so badly by InuYasha he had considered trying to kill the half demon. Though his anger had cooled over the years since then, he still regretted being still too small and weak at the time to do anything. He worried that this brother would be no better than the other. He couldn't watch Kagome go through that kind of heartache again.
There was something else that worried him, and it came up any time she became serious about a guy. In some ways he still felt like that brash but immensely insecure kid she'd found all those years ago. Would Sesshomaru force him away from Kagome if they became a couple? Worse, would she abandon him if she had a child of her own? It was selfish, he knew that, but he couldn't help the trepidation from sinking in. "You love him," it wasn't a question.
Her eyes snapped to his. "I'm... not sure. I think that maybe I do," she said softly.
He tried to smile to reassure her but it came out more of a grimace. "Does he love you?"
Sadness touched her blue orbs. "I don't know," it was said at almost a whisper.
Shippo reached over and took her hand. He felt guilty for his earlier thoughts. "I will be beside you no matter what happens."
She gave him a true, albeit watery, smile. "I will always love my Shippo."
Her words hit home and tears sprang to his eyes at her unexpected reassurance. "Mamma!" He leaned his face to rest it her lap, crying tears of relief.
She pet his russet hair and it was like they were back in time again. Once again sitting around a campfire holding and petting her little fox demon until he fell to sleep. Those were bittersweet memories to her now.
Shippo's tears slowed and he sat up with a blush of embarrassment. She brushed the last traces of his tears off his cheeks, wile giving him a small smile. He caught her hand to hold it again. "What will you do now?" he asked low.
The priestess shook her head. "I don't really know, Lord Sesshomaru said he'd be back but I don't know when." She shrugged one shoulder. "I don't even know how he feels about me."
He pondered that. "Lord Sesshomaru is not a demon of many words."
She nodded in agreement, not sure where he was going with this.
"In what I have observed he is more a demon of action. From what you have told me it seems he is interested in you, if not fond of you."
She blushed. "You think so? Fondness isn't love though." She thought back on the conversation she'd had with the demon lord about love. "Besides, I can't see him stooping so low as to fall for a human."
Shippo frowned at her. "Are you trying to talk yourself out of the possibility? Yes, you are human, but so is Rin. That doesn't mean he loves her any less!" Why was she shying away from this? His eyes widened in realization. She was protecting herself. If she didn't expect love than she wouldn't be disappointing when he rejected her. He fumed at her inability to see how wonderful, special, and lovable she was. He remained silent, he'd have to see how the lord acted when he returned. "I will stay until he gets back so I can make sure he behaves," he said half in jest to get her to smile.
She chuckled and shook her head. "Oh, Shippo." She squeezed his hand before letting go. "It's good to have you home."
'Home.' His eyes softened with his smile. "I am glad to be home."
A/N: *In my head-canon Kagura loved Sesshomaru. When she was killed and became the wind her "spirit" lingered to help him find happiness. She had watched these two dance around each other for too long. She was the wind that swept down behind Kagome to take the scent of her arousal to Sesshomaru. It was her way of saying; "Here is a woman who can love you. Don't ignore her."
*Okay, we all know "kiss" wasn't the word InuYasha used, I'm just trying to keep this to a 'T' rating. InuYasha's potty-mouth is troublesome to say the least.
Don't worry, we're almost there.
Did you catch the mini lesson on thermodynamics in this chapter? Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transferred from one thing to another. When the Jewel was created it took Midoriko's soul and the energy of the demons she was fighting to make. In the end the energy would've transferred back into a receptive conduit, such as Kagome's soul. That's just how I see it.