Chapter 8

"Jake? Hey, Jake, you here, man?"

I jerked and looked up from the snack counter. "Yeah, sorry. Spacing out."

Craig smiled. "And they rip on me for toking."

"Eat it, Craig," I said with a smile. I yawned and stretched. Normally six hours of sleep would've been enough, but my school-to-work combo took it out of me even before we had to save an alien. Plus I hadn't eaten anything since Marco had made brunch that morning. "I'm just tired. Long shift after school yesterday."

"Yeah, I hear ya. I'm heading out, man. Catch you later."

I looked at the time. I'd been at work more than five hours already. I was tired, I was hungry, and I was worried to the point of distraction.

"Marco, did I take my break yet?" I honestly couldn't remember if I had or hadn't.

"Not yet, Jake. Get something to eat, have some caffeine, clear your head."

We get one free meal per shift, and I grabbed a handful of chicken tenders, some fries, and smothered the plate in nacho cheese. Don't judge me. I got a Coke from the machine and took a seat in the break room. It was quiet already, and I was glad. I'd been on autopilot for hours and if you've never hit full auto, it's a little jarring when you wake up and realize you haven't actually been asleep.

I had a few missed texts. I checked Cassie's first. She had sent a few asking how work was going, and said she was headed to Melissa's. I texted her back that work was going okay, that I had spaced out half my shift, and that I was worried about Rachel. She sent me a heart emoji and I sent her one back.

"I miss you," I texted.

She sent the kiss emoji, and I sent it back. "I have to check on Rachel. BRB."

Rachel had texted a bit, but not much. Apparently Melissa was a bit depressed lately. She said her parents were noticeably distant, wink-wink. It sounded like she had noticed the change in not only her father, but her mother as well. That didn't bode well. Chapman being a Controller had far-reaching implications. We'd seen that they had at least some pull in local news, in the astronomy department at UCSC, and if Chapman was one of them, I couldn't escape asking how many teachers could be Controllers? How many parents at our school?

But it seemed - from what Rachel texted, at least - like Melissa was not a Controller.

Not yet, at least. Oh, good, Mister Positive, aren't we, Jake?

She said she had seen Tobias twice and they apparently had developed a system of her signaling his time limit through Melissa's bedroom window. The girls - Cassie was there for now - were apparently watching some gushy romance movie.

There wasn't much I could do from work, and I didn't really need the play-by-play of a rom-com. I told Cassie to text me when she got home.

I finished eating and took my cup with me back to the snack counter. "Marco, you eat yet?"

"I'm good for now, grab a hot dog and a pretzel later. How are you doing? I haven't seen you this zoned out in a while."

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. There was a coolness factor at first. I mean, we met a freaking alien. How cool is that? But…"

"But now it's responsibility and secrets," he said.

"Yeah. And waiting. I'm here while Tobias and the girls are out there playing Operation: Sleepover."

It's easy enough to make decisions if they're only going to come back on you personally. If you fuck up and you get hurt, you live, you learn, and you grow, and maybe you have to eat it a bit. But it's different when those decisions impact others. And Elfangor, the beach, the cube, that wasn't just me involved. It involved all of us. It didn't really matter that I was scared when I'd done it, I had still been the first to touch the cube. Marco had followed my lead, everyone had.

And that made me responsible.

"You're pissed I touched the cube, aren't you?"

He sighed. "I'm not. Really. I want to be pissed at you, but you weren't wrong. This is going to blow up in our faces, I'm sure of it, but there's no one else that can do this for us. Not unless there are other Andalite survivors anyway."

"If it matters, Marco, I'm scared."

"Jake, you really look like you're keeping it together."

"Rachel said the same thing the other night. It's… It's like here, with the bathrooms. I clean the bathrooms because you hate doing it, y'know? It's not that I enjoy cleaning the mens' room, it's just that it needs to be done. And when we found Elfangor, he was hurt - so we helped him. And then he was stranded, and we helped him some more."

"This isn't like E. T. or Paul , the alien leaves and the innocent bystanders live happily ever after. That's not going to happen here, Jake. He's not going to phone home and call a ride. He's here to fight a war, and I feel like we were all just drafted into doing God knows what."

"That's the part that scares me. When Tobias turned into a hawk, that creeped me out. That morphing tech is the grossest shit I've ever seen, and it scares me that I might have to do it. But the weirder part is I saw Tobias flying, and my first thought was: 'I gotta try that.'"

Marco laughed. "When you called him Ten-Piece, I almost lost it. Is it weird how quickly we're just rolling with this?"

"How the hell should I know what's weird anymore?" But I thought about it for a second. "Maybe it's the bullet points. Spaceship, boom. Alien, boom. Brain slugs, boom. One thing to the next."

"And now here we are, and reality is catching up to us?"

"I have to imagine this is what it felt like for Rachel babysitting while we were at the Boardwalk."

"Rachel can handle herself. Tobias is one tough son of a bitch when it comes down to it. And Cassie is kind of the quiet Zen type, but I wouldn't want to get on her bad side. They can handle a fucking sleepover."

"Yeah, you're right. I gotta relax."

We went about our shift for awhile. One of us would stay at the snack counter while the other did something else, cleaning mostly. I refilled popcorn and sodas here and there. We made sure the other screens were clean, took out trash, and eventually after Marco took his break, we started packing up the concession stand.

I texted Cassie every second I could spare on my phone. For everything else that had happened, I was glad we were doing this. She made me happy. I thought about taking her to the end-of-year dance, but I figured that should be a face-to-face thing.

Marco and I talked about movies, like the new Spider-Man coming out in July, and video games. We'd been really enjoying Horizon: Zero Dawn and Final Fantasy XV , not to mention I'd just bought Farpoint earlier that month. We were both waiting for Destiny 2 and Resident Evil 7 . Before I'd started working weekends, I used to play a lot more often. Lately I'd just play an hour or two after school while I ran my laundry before hammering out my homework. I'd honestly become pretty boring lately.

It was midnight when the last showing ended, and we had our last mess of the night to clean up. It was the same as last night, really. Except Tobias wasn't waiting in the lobby, I didn't have to drive Rachel home, and my heart wasn't racing in anticipation of talking to Cassie. We talked to a few of our other co-workers, Marco talked to the manager about his schedule, normal stuff.

I was relieved when we finally got out of the movie theater. The night air felt good, and the way you could always smell the salt of the Pacific on the air was very calming to me.

The town was as sparse as it usually is that late. There were a few bars and clubs open, Blue Lagoo, Motiv, The Catalyst, but it's not like the downtown area is bristling with activity after midnight. The shops were closed but honestly I was still hungry.

"You want anything from Taco Bell?" I asked as we got in the car. I could've gone home and browsed the fridge, but I just really wanted a stuffed burrito for some reason. It was late, and I should be going home and getting some sleep, but I just wasn't there yet.

"I could go for a burrito and a Baja," Marco said.

"You crashing at my place or you going home?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, let's get some food first. Rachel still up?"

"No new texts. She and Melissa may be up all night as far as I know. From what Rachel has texted, I think Melissa's been kinda lonely at home."

"I know what that's like," Marco muttered.

We swung through the Taco Bell off the Cabrillo Highway, and Marco decided against going home. I didn't really blame him. It was late, and I think we both wanted to just chill.

We went up to my room and Marco collapsed into the game chair he'd slept in last night. I put on the TV, and flipped through channels for a bit. I landed on South Park reruns.

We were just chilling for a bit, eating burritos, when I broke the silence. "You know what's weird?"

"Shoot."

"I was talking to Tom a bit today when I was getting ready, and I swear, this is the first it's clicked that he's going to be done with high school. He was telling me about how some of his friends are moving away over the summer for college already."

Marco shrugged. "Life changes, Jake. I think last night proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Then dug a shallow grave and buried the doubt in it."

I laughed. He was not wrong. "I guess it was just an abstract idea till now, y'know."

"Yeah, that's the fucking problem with later, dude. Eventually, later becomes now."

"I know, I just can't believe he's going to college in a few months."

"He's going to UCSC, man. He's not staying home?"

"I think he's getting an apartment with roommates, trying to move out, try the adult thing."

"Adulthood is really fucking overrated, Jake." The acid in those words could have melted the snack counter.

"What were your summer plans?"

"You mean before you signed us up for alien military camp?"

"Yeah, before that?"

He sighed. "Honestly Jake, all I wanted was to, hit the beach, go camping, maybe get a girlfriend."

"When we were at the Boardwalk early," I said, "I thought about buying passes for Cassie and Tobias."

Marco nodded. "That's not a bad idea. It'd give Tobias a place to go other than school."

School was not an easy place for Tobias. He was the weird kid, the poor kid, and I honestly have no clue how he put up with it. I got two days suspension for knocking out Braden Stewart earlier this year. He'd been messing with Tobias for weeks, and finally I snapped. My parents were pissed at first, but when Marco told them what happened, my mom gave me twenty bucks. But it hadn't really changed anything for Tobias, except of course for my mom going rounds with the school board over their bullying policy. I have no idea if that made any difference honestly.

The messed up thing is that as much as Tobias hated school, he hated being home more. I really had the impression that the cafeteria lunches were the only hot meals Tobias ever got. I didn't think his uncle did much as far as taking care of him.

"I talked to my mom about Loren," I said, maybe blurted. It just came out.

"Tobias's mom?" he asked, "What brought that up?"

"Honestly, I think it was watching Tobias fly away. He took wing, and when he was gone, it just clicked to me how little he has in life. He doesn't really have much, y'know?"

Marco sighed. "I know more than I want to, Jake."

I winced. "How's your dad?"

Marco turned up his hands as he shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, holmes. He's the same as yesterday and the day before that."

There was an anger to his voice. He was mad at his father. And he was mad at himself because of it.

"It's getting harder, Jake. Like you don't even know, man."

"Tell me." He glared at me, a look that could bring iron to a boil. "Marco, it's me, okay? If you can't talk to me, who can you talk to?"

He turned away from me. For a few minutes he just watched TV and drank his Baja Blast. "It was cool for a while, y'know," he said finally. "I mean my dad was home with me at first, and we were both just hot messes. When my abuela died, that was easier. She was old, she was sick, we saw it coming. And I was still upset when she was gone. We cried, we mourned, and we got through it. And Mom helped us through that.

"But with Mom," he said, swallowing. "With Mom, we didn't see it coming. She was just gone. And I missed school for a while, till I couldn't take being in my house anymore. It still smelled like her, Jake. I was out of school for almost two weeks, and I could still smell her.

"But when I came back, when I started doing homework, when you started dragging me places to get me out of the house, I started to make some peace with it. But my dad is still right there, he's still right where I left him."

I didn't say anything. Marco didn't need me to say anything, he just wanted someone to know, to understand. He'd needed to vent for a long time, and he was finally letting it out. And so I listened. I nodded.

"I have to take care of him, Jake. I do the laundry, I fucking pay the bills. I mean he puts the money in the accounts, of course. But I'm the one that has to make sure the checks go out. If I'm home, I'm either cleaning, cooking, or doing homework. And if he doesn't have work, if he doesn't have to get up, he just sleeps all day. There are days I have to make sure he showers, Jake. Do you know how fucked up that is?"

He was crying. But he wasn't alone. I felt the tears come and I didn't fight it. Marco's mom was a good person. She was funny, she was spontaneous. She gave us surfing lessons. She was there for me every bit as much as my mom had been there for Marco. I missed her, too. And there was a time when Marco's dad had been the guy that took us to basketball games, that took us to the go-kart track or laser tag at the Boardwalk. He had been one of the funniest guys I'd known. He and my dad used to have cookouts down on the beach. I missed those days. But he just didn't have it in him to be that guy any more.

Marco went on. "Sometimes I find him watching Simpsons reruns, and those are the good days, because he's at least trying the slightest bit to find something to make him happy. Just for a second, he finds something that makes him smile."

I caught that inflection. Something that made him smile… It just wasn't Marco.

"He loves you, Marco."

The expression that twisted Marco's face was terrifying. Like he'd tasted bleach. "I know, Jake. I know in the worst way fucking possible. All he wants in the whole goddamned world is… is to be with my mom."

He swallowed again, wiped his eyes, and exhaled. "I'm the only thing keeping him here, Jake. Do you get that? Do you really understand what that means? I can't ask him to do anything more because he's putting everything he has left into not checking the fuck out."

I put my hand on his shoulder. Marco was never the hugging type, but he turned and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Hermano, what am I supposed to do?"

"Have you talked to the guidance counselor?"

Marco shrugged. "I saw him a few times when it happened. I haven't been in,what, more than a year now."

"Have you been to mass?"

He raised an eyebrow. Marco was an atheist. He was raised Catholic, but he didn't believe in God any more. I wasn't sure I ever did, honestly. My family was technically Jewish, but we weren't observant at all.

"I haven't been to mass since the funeral."

I wasn't surprised. Marco's parents were the only reason he'd gone, and it was one obligation Marco didn't really keep. "You liked your priest, didn't you?"

"As far as priests go, yeah."

"Would your dad trust him?"

"You're fucking evil, dude," he said as he blew his nose into a napkin. He was quiet for a long time. We just watched TV for awhile.

I checked my phone a few times to see if there had been any developments at Melissa's. But the only new text was Cassie saying she was going home to bed.

"Jake?"

"Yeah, dude?"

He didn't make eye contact as he spoke, but I didn't need him to. "Thanks."

"No problem, hermano."

Marco threw a burrito wrapper at me. He always ragged on me anytime I spoke Spanish. It was part of our dynamic for some reason. That was us in a nutshell, really. Rachel and Cassie joked that Marco and I were like a married couple, and nights like these, it was hard to argue against that description. He was always there for me. And I would always be there for him when he needed me.

"Wanna hear something fucked up?" he asked.

"This is gonna be bad, isn't it?"

"God, isn't everything when it comes to me?" I shot him a look.

"I worry sometimes, about me moving on. I worry that maybe the reason I'm getting better and he isn't is just 'cause she didn't mean as much to me as she meant to him."

"You know that's bullshit, right?"

He shrugged. "There are days I wake up and for no reason I feel like she's home. There are days at the beach when the surf comes in and I just watch the boarders, like somehow I'm going to see her out there again. I watch the waves and know that's where she'd want to be. And I hate those days. Not because I miss her, but because those days make me wonder the last time she crossed my mind and I feel like an asshole."

"Marco, let me ask you something. If your mom were here, what would she tell you?"

He sighed. "Mom would tell me that any day the sun comes out is a good day. She used to say that all the time." There was a wistfulness to his voice, the tragically optimistic beat of memories you know you're not going to keep. I could hear the longing.

"I remember. She saw life on the brightside, Marco. That was just who she was. And I'm not one for philosophy, man. You know I'm not. But your mom would want you to live for yourself. If Eva were here, she'd tell your dad to pull his head out and she'd bitch you out up and down that you don't surf anymore."

"I can't, Jake."

I shrugged. "And if you're not ready, you're not ready. I don't think there are wrong answers here, man. But if you see your mom out on the water, maybe that's where you need to be."

"I don't know. Half of my summer plans involved just not being home, y'know? I got a job, I got my fucking responsibilities, and I just wanted to be out there. Part of it was for me. I can't keep doing this with my dad. I just don't have much more left in me. I think… I think I wanted to show my dad that I was going to be okay. I'm sixteen, and I'm an adult in two years anyway. If he needs to… if he needs to be with Mom… He needs to know I'm going to be okay."

I hadn't realized quite how strong Marco was till then.

Or how fucking ruthless he could be. He'd already seen the writing on the wall, he'd seen enough signs that one day he was going to come home and his dad… wasn't going to be there anymore. And he'd just cut out the emotional attachments to his last living parent. He got up everyday and said goodbye to his dad like he thought it would be the last time he saw him.

It's very humbling to know that the entirety of your stress and drama is but an annoyance to someone with real problems. My parents didn't fight as much as Rachel's parents, I wasn't buried in responsibility like Cassie, and I hadn't suffered losses like Marco and Tobias.

"Marco, I don't have answers. Honestly, I usually look to you for answers; you're fucking smarter than I am, and damn if you don't know it. I don't know that I've ever really believed in God. And I can't tell you what to do about your dad. I'm not qualified for that. I know my mom or the school could find you a grief counselor. But I can tell you this: I'm always going to be there for you."

"Man, I hope so, dude. I'll tell you what, man, if this alien gets us all killed, I'm going to fucking kick your ass."

"I don't know how we got into this."

Marco laughed. "Yeah, that's how it always starts, isn't it?"