Craig reacted by instinct, trying to keep his body from falling (luckily Tweek was not that heavy) and at the same time, holding his boyfriend to prevent him from getting hurt. They stared at each other in confunsion, breathing loudly for some seconds until letting go of each other.
"Can somebody explain to me what the fuck this is all about?" Craig asked, looking like he was ready to kill someboody.
"I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE! GAH T-THAT WAS SO MUCH PRESSURE! I SAW MY LIFE PASSING IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND THEN THEN!" Tweek, for the other side, was looking like he was ready to have a heart attack, with his body trembling and his fists clenched.
"I'm going to ask again. What. The. Fuck. Was. That." Craig said slowly, his voice sounding like a threat to the whole school. His boyfriend was having a breakdown because of that nonsense, and he'd not let it go so easily.
"We were trying to help you out!" One of the asian girls finally spoke.
"By killing us?!" Tweek questioned, finally being able to stand by himself properly.
"By helping you with the last step into your relationship for now: The first kiss." Other girl explained, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Now we're getting to the bottom of this shit fest." The Tucker boy thought to himself, holding the other's hand to calm him down.
"I told you that there was someone spying me! The North Koreans are coming to kill me and they sold information about us to the asian girls! We're going to die!" Tweek was trying to run away, but Craig made him stay.
"Tell us now who is gossiping about our personal life or I'll smack you all, go to the principal's office, win some money and sue you all for gay harassment, so you'll never be allowed to draw us again." God, he was sounding just like Cartman having one of his dramatic moments, but in the monotonous voice that treat sounded very legit.
"Clyde did it!" With the mere pronounce of his name, the brown hair boy started to plan an escape route but Craig was already holding him by the back of his coat.
"Do you remember what I told you earlier, Clyde?" He spoke with the patience of a crazy scientist torturing his victim.
"Man, I swear that I didn't knew what they were going to do! They tricked me!" Clyde tried to defend himself, but his eyes were already closed as he waited the pain of being punched.
"Of course, I believe you my friend." Craig released him, for everyone's surprise. "Tweek told me that you've been wanting to date those chicks and you can be kind of a moron when you think with your wiener."
"Yeah, that's right! Thank you man!" Clyde was not believing that he'd go out of that situation without scars. His friend was totally becaming a better...
"But just letting you girls know-" He turned back to the asian girls. "Clyde has a really jealous and protective cousin in other state, so if one of you end up dating him, this guy could be an obstacle. What was his name, Clyde? Karl, right?" Craig smiled ironically.
"What the fuck man? That's not true at all girls!" Clyde tried to cover the damage, but it was already too late. The asian girl were whispering between themselves, planning their next art fair.
"Good luck with your girlfriends, Clyde." Craig took Tweek by the hand, piled their lunch trays and gone to the cafeteria.
Sure, he was getting softer, but the bully inside him would never die. He placed the lunch trays at the right place and took the way for class, the bell would probably ring in a few instants so there was no point in going somewhere else. At his side, certain blonde was finally stopping his trembling.
"Did you got hurt because of the fall, Tweekers?" He asked, also feeling calmer than before. The class was empty, the silence making his anger fade away.
"N-No, I'm okay. And you?" Tweek stared at him from the beggining of the head until his shoes. "Did I hurt your back in the fall?"
"Nah, you're not Clyde or Cartman." He shrugged, petting the shorter boy's head. Now a lot of people knew about their plans of kissing, and this could led to a crazy and without logic sequence of events, if Craig knew his little town. But at that moment, they just stood in silence, enjoying each other's company, a thing that, in comparison with the crazy messed up life, was the best thing in the world.
After all, Craig always wanted to have a peaceful and boring life.
After all, Tweek always wanted to enjoy the beauty of the silence.