Chapter 17

"Prince Alloran?" Tobias asked. "They sent the king's son to Earth and no one followed up on his disappearance?"

*My apologies. Your word prince is apparently not the correct cognate. It is a high military rank, rather than a designation of royalty. But in answer to your question, this planet is remote and the odds that Alloran had survived were incredibly slim. When he never contacted the homeworld, he was given a full memorial service and we believed the matter closed.*

"Exactly what happened with the last Andalite mission on Earth, anyway?" Rachel asked.

Elfangor didn't answer at first, and there was something about his pause that just felt… off. *That is a long story, and I think it may prove tangential to our current situation.* The non-answer seemed blatant, and I made a mental note to ask him about it again later.

"Well," Marco said, "I hate to be blunt, but now you know how your ship was brought down. They knew all your tactics."

"Marco!" Rachel snapped.

*No, he is right. For one, knowing the nature of the ambush, admittedly I feel a little less responsible for the tragedy. But Alloran… he was my first commander. I trained under him; he taught me many things.*

"So you're telling us the Andalite that taught you everything you know about military tactics essentially works for the bad guys?" Marco asked again.

*Regrettably, yes. I have learned from others, of course, and my own military career is admittedly rather notable. But Alloran was amongst the most-decorated officer in our history. At least, he was once.*

"Well," I said, "I don't want to cut you guys off or downplay the severity of these revelations. But it's getting late and we all have other shit to do. I want to get a shower, knock out my homework, and get the fuck to sleep. Any objections to calling this a day?"

*No, I agree. You have all performed admirably, and I know all of you are exhausted. I must demorph and contact Aximili. I must contact the homeworld with this news, and I need to prepare the explosives.*

"Woah, woah," I said. "I know the plan was to destroy the pool, but there are a lot of innocent people down there. Let's not jump ahead, okay?"

Elfangor seemed to pause for a moment, and looked at me with his unblinking osprey eyes. Finally he answered. *As you wish, Jake.*

With that, he was gone, out the open window of the SUV and into the open blue sky for who knows how many times that night. He'd spent a large portion of the day watching my phone, which I now realized was still on the roof of the school - fuck me - and then locating the enemy base. And then he'd found out one of his military superiors had been captured years ago and he had no idea how many military secrets had been unknowingly leaked to the enemy. And now, to top off his evening, a sixteen-year-old human nobody was setting terms about his mission.

But fuck him if he thought he was taking a bomb down there right now.

I knew he wanted to hurt the enemy. I did too. I really hated those slugs, more than I've ever hated anything. But I wasn't going to hurt the enemy at the expense of that many people. I just wasn't.

We dropped off Rachel first, and then I had to take Melissa home. I took Marco to his place and apparently Tobias was crashing with him for the night. That left me alone in the car with Cassie, and that really made me feel better. Like I didn't even know how terrible I was feeling till I felt Cassie's hand in mine.

"You don't want to blow it up, do you?" she asked. Cassie could read me like a book, I'll tell you that.

"No, I don't."

"But that was the mission, wasn't it?

"It was ," I said, emphasizing the past-tense. "But I've been down there, Cass. I hate the Yeerks as much as he does, I really do. But I don't think the hundreds of human hosts can be chalked up to acceptable loss or collateral damage."

"You think Elfangor is that callous?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. But I'm not onboard with the bomb plan anymore."

"I'm not sure what I thought would happen here," she said, sounding as scared and unsure as I felt. "I thought we'd find that place, do the mission, and it would all be over. I'm getting the impression that 'over' is not on the table right now."

I squeezed her hand. "I'm thinking before we go ahead with anything, explosions or otherwise, we should probably do another recon mission. We're going to need to get all of us down there, Elfangor too, and see what the hell is going on. I think we need more answers before we just torch everything."

"Jake, that sounds brave and all, but I'm pretty scared to go down there."

I laughed. "Cassie, that place scares the hell out of me. I don't want to go back down there. I really don't. And if it makes you feel any better, I think you're like the bravest girl I know. Well, probably the second after Rachel."

"Yeah, Rachel's like that," she said with a small laugh. "But you really think you have to do this, don't you?"

"You know me too well."

She gave me a kiss as we pulled into her driveway. I watched her go, made sure she didn't forget her library book. I really didn't want her to go. But I smiled and I waved. I told her to text me.

I drove home in silence, the radio forgotten.

It was a little after six when I got home. I had homework to do, I had a cell phone to retrieve from the school roof, and all I wanted to do was shower and sleep. But first, I had to face my mom.

She gave me the eye that she does when she thinks I'm hiding things. "So," she said with that suspicious mom tone, "the second you get a girlfriend you're out after school for hours, huh?"

"No, it's not like that. Honestly mom, we haven't figured out how to tell her parents about us. We're taking things slow, just like you told me."

"Oh, don't just echo what you think I want to hear. Seriously, where've you been all afternoon? I tried calling you."

"Oh, shit."

"Language, Jake."

"I'm an idiot, mom. I left my phone at school. God, Cassie's going to kill me."

Mom actually laughed despite herself. "You're just nailing this boyfriend stuff, honey. So, where were you?"

"Y'know, sneaking into an alien bunker, saving the world."

"Ah, new arcade game at the Boardwalk, huh? Why do you spend so much on that XBox if you keep throwing money at the arcade games?"

I shrugged. "Tobias. He doesn't get much in the way of pocket money, so he doesn't get to play games unless he's here or at Marco's. We got him a Boardwalk pass today, y'know, since school's almost out."

Mom wanted to be mad at me. I could see that. But she had that "I'm proud of you" look too. Finally she just sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Fine, you're off the hook, young man. But next time, don't forget your phone, okay?"

"Got it, Mom." I turned, about to head upstairs, but I stopped for a minute. I sighed again. "Hey, mom?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"I've been wondering something, and I haven't asked because I was never sure if it was my business, but lately it's been bothering me." Mom went from annoyed to concerned in a heartbeat, and it made me uncomfortable. I swallowed. "Were… were you and dad serious about adopting Tobias?"

If I'd morphed into a lizard right then, I'm not sure Mom would have been any more surprised.

"Jake, I- I'm not sure how to answer that. I mean, your father and I talked about it, and we were thinking about it, but before we knew it, he was off with family and we figured he was better off. Why do you ask?"

Because he wasn't better off, mom. Because he's like my little brother and you let those people take him. Mom, did you know that up until two days ago, he used to meticulously cover the cigarette burns on his arms? Did you know what your indecisiveness cost him? I wanted to be mad. I wanted to yell, to be spiteful. But I couldn't.

"No reason, I guess," the lie fell out of my mouth like a breath, weightless and undetected. "Just wondering what things would be like if he hadn't moved away for all those years."

"You've taken some interest in Tobias lately, Jake. Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell me?"

"I'll let you know, mom."

She held eye contact, the look of a mother trying to pry the secrets out of her kid. But like I said, I wasn't really the rebellious type. And she would never guess the real reasons I was off. At length she just changed the subject. "Well, I assume you ate at the Boardwalk, but your father brought home pizza. It's in the kitchen."

I actually was still hungry, and I walked up the stairs with a slice. The warm, gooey cheese somehow made me feel better.

Tobias was in my room when I opened the door. He was in his hawk form again, and he didn't say anything, only dropped the little pouch containing my phone on the bed. I mouthed the words "thank you" in case Tom could hear us through our shared wall.

I gestured to the pizza, noiselessly asking if he wanted to demorph and have a slice.

*No, thanks. Marco ordered Chinese. We're going to watch the Family Guy Star Wars parodies with his dad.*

I smiled. "Yeah, those were funny," I whispered.

*I've never seen them,* he said. *I'll see you later, Jake.*

He flew out the window and I closed it behind him. I watched as his dark brown shape vanished into the shadows outside.

I texted Cassie on and off as I did my homework. It was quiet, and it made me nervous for some reason. But I couldn't bring myself to turn on music or anything. I thought about putting on Netflix or something but I just didn't see the point.

I told Cassie I was going to get a shower and get some sleep. She said she's was going to do the same, and I tried to shake the idea of Cassie in the shower. I shook the normal teenage perversions from my head, got a fresh towel, and I don't remember ever getting in the shower.

I swear to God, my next conscious thought was the alarm going off. I smelled like I had showered, I was wearing the T-shirt and boxers I had gotten out of my drawer last night, and I saw my backpack ready to go at my bedroom door. My phone had even found its way to the nightstand charger.

I didn't remember actually getting the shower, or getting dressed, or getting into bed. I had a sneaking suspicion I'd gone into autopilot again and fallen into oblivion the second I got in bed. I read somewhere I think that when you're really, really tired, your brain just stops making new memories. And for something as monotonous and repetitive as a simple evening shower, I couldn't really fault my brain for the bad edit.

At least I didn't dream.

The spider nightmare was terrible, and I was really concerned having seen the giant alien caterpillars and reptile monsters that I would have awful nightmares about becoming Taxxon chow or graphically disemboweled by Hork-Bajir blades. Sheer exhaustion had probably saved that for me, but that didn't mean tonight wouldn't be rife with malicious dreams.

Things to look forward to.

I ran into Tom in the kitchen again.

We exchanged our normal brother banter. Girls, games, sports, school. I don't really know what I was saying. My mind was on other things, I guess. But there was coffee. I didn't even bother with the banana. I just didn't have the appetite.

Tom drove us to school, and tossed me the keys. I gave him our usual fist bump goodbye, told him I wasn't sure what my plans were after school. He told me it was cool, that The Sharing had a meetings that afternoon.

School was boring. And for the next few hours, I just went through the motions.

It wasn't as bad as yesterday, when I was constantly worried about the camera in Chapman's office, which I suddenly remembered was still on and still recording. God, I needed to double check the cloud storage and see if I could watch that footage when I got home. Maybe he'd say something Yeerk-related, or maybe I'd find out that his secretary was a Controller too or something.

But that didn't matter during class.

I was relieved at lunchtime that Melissa joined us again. It meant that we couldn't really talk about the alien invasion, the Pool, Elfangor, or anything else.

Actually, as we went on talking, I felt better.

Yesterday, I'd been a bit distant with Matt and Drew, not that they seemed to notice. And for most of that morning, I'd been in the same mood. But I quickly realized how much I needed this. For the forty-five minutes we had for lunch, we were just normal teenagers again. We bitched about teachers, made wildly inappropriate jokes, Cassie and I got flack about our new relationship. Rachel and I talked about Tom's graduation, made plans for me to take my cousins for a day or something.

For just that lunch period, I felt like the old Jake. I knew it wasn't going to last. I knew I was never going to be the old Jake again, not for real. Even if this was the furthest I was going to go with Elfangor and his Andalite war, I think I'd seen enough that I'd never quite get back to my old normal.

But I was in a better mood for the rest of the school day.

When school finally got out, I found Cassie waiting by my SUV. That surprised me. Of all of us, Cassie had easily the most parental restrictions. Tobias could come and go as he liked. Marco was essentially in the same situation, if for different reasons. Rachel couldn't make a habit of it, and she'd needed Melissa to cover. And I probably could get away with it for awhile, provided I had my phone to text my mom. I had gotten a little bit of flack from my mom, mostly just because of not checking in, but Cassie had a lot of stuff to do at the wildlife clinic.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"What? You're not happy to see me?"

"I'm always happy to see you, Cassie. Just wasn't sure what's going on after yesterday."

"Yeah, my dad wasn't thrilled with me yesterday. Mom actually seemed proud of me for taking a me-day, though, so that was cool."

I nodded. "So, you need a ride?"

She winked at me. "Well, yeah, pretty sure I missed my bus, Jake. Besides, it's such a nice day, I thought you'd like to go for a hike."

She was not wrong. I wasn't sure I wanted to do this now, and I wasn't sure I wanted to get into it without the others.

"Besides," she added. "I could use a hand catching up on my chores. Things pile up on a farm pretty quickly."

"Yeah, I understand. Just let me text my mom first. After yesterday, I don't want to push it."

It didn't take more than a few minutes before Mom texted me back with the simple line "home by 5" and we were off.

"So," I asked, "will your parents get weird with us sneaking off into the woods?

"No, we should be fine. Dad's teaching and Mom won't get home for at least another hour. And since you graciously agreed to help me get my chores done, we have some time."

I walked her up to the barn, hand in hand, and for almost an hour I was mucking stalls, helping Cassie feed animals. She took care of their meds and their charts, and I just kept mucking out the nasty hay. That was fine though. I liked helping her with chores. And hard work was one of the few things I just really excelled at. Like I said, I wasn't that smart and I wasn't that artistic. Cassie said I could be really deep on occasion, but I never really felt that. But when it came to doing things, that stuff really made sense to me. I'd help my dad put disc brakes on the van, built the outdoor playhouse for Jordan and Sara with my Uncle Dan, made birdhouses in shop class. Even working in the movie theater cleaning the bathrooms, getting things done was just something that I enjoyed.

Mom and Dad always said I was a blue-collar kid at heart, and I guess that made sense to me. A lot of parents tell their kids they need to study hard to get a good job or they'll end up digging ditches. But my parents never told me that. In fact, my dad told me once that ditch diggers make good money. I know Marco wanted to be a computer programmer or game designer or something, Tobias… I guess he wanted to be an artist or something. I didn't really know. Rachel was likely to end up a lawyer like her mom, probably work for an environmentalist firm before launching into politics. She always had causes to fight for. Me, I just never really wanted to do that much. My dream job would be to run a landscaping company, honestly.

"I really appreciate the help, Jake," Cassie said as we finished scraping the nasty hay and moved on to spreading the fresh hay.

"I enjoy it, Cass. You don't have to thank me."

"Yeah, right," she laughed. "Like you'd spend your afternoons shoveling dung if there wasn't a girl involved."

"Cassie, is this one of those girl traps?"

"Girl trap?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, if I say I'm only here because of the hot girl, I'm going to be in the dog house. But if I say looks don't matter, it's like a roundabout put down that you're not pretty enough or something. All I can tell you is that you're hot, and hot girls do make me more motivated. But, Cass, honey, you're like family. If you ask, I'll be here."

"You're sweet."

I felt my ears burning.

Cassie seemed to notice me blushing. She smiled and shook her head. "C'mon," she said. "Let's go see Elfangor."