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Chapter 4: Madrid, Part 2
Was it guilt or was it a sense of duty?
Was it logic or an emotional response?
Was she playing pretend or pretending to play?
For the life of her, she could not be sure.
And for the life of him, neither could he.
And maybe, right now, neither of them gave a damn that they could not.
The entire night they had been holding hands. Walking together. Laughing together. Dancing together. Charming the guests… together.
It was as if they had never been apart.
It was as if this was not the fakest marriage in the history of mankind.
But it was probably not as fake as the hardly restrained, not-so polite smile Tony Stark had on his face right now. Or at least, this was what Tony himself called it. Pepper, on the other hand, called it his: I'm-about-to-beat-someone's-rude-ass smile.
She held tighter onto his right arm with both of her own for good measure, as she knew this was the arm he preferred to use to punch someone in the face.
"I'm sorry, Jack. Come again?"
"Captain America, Stark," Jack Dobson, the investor that had a liking of leaving his newborn son and exhausted wife back at home to spend the time parading his mistress at parties such as this, repeated his question to the billionaire. "What do you think about his betrayal?"
"I typically don't have an opinion on things that never happened," Tony replied. "What looked like betrayal turned out to be misdirection on Zemo's part."
"Awfully convenient, don't you think?" Jack half-asked, half-stated before he sipped from the martini in his hand.
"That the truth came up? Yeah, I think so. I've done horrible things I'm not proud of. Didn't really want to add sending an honest man to a floating prison to it."
"Come on, Stark, let's be honest here," Jack placed a hand on Tony's left shoulder. "Between you and me, knowing you have insider knowledge and all, did Captain America really commit treason?"
"He didn't," Tony said between gritted teeth as Jack pulled his hand away from Tony's shoulder while he shook his head in disbelief.
"But then, why did the media report that you and he threw punches at each other at an airport? If he was innocent, then why did you fight him? Or why did he fight back? He knew he was guilty, that's why he resisted arrest."
"Why do people get arrested before being proven guilty, Mr. Dobson?" Pepper interjected, a wry smile on her face. "Why don't we just allow people to stay at their homes, go on with their lives, and wait for a trial and verdict first? Why do some people get jail time while they wait for judgement from a jury of their peers?"
"Because there are varying degrees of crimes, and you can't risk a high-profile criminal to be out in the streets, Ms. Potts – Mrs. Stark, I mean. I get that part. But I also get that vigilantes are as capable of committing the same crimes that the people they try to stop do themselves. I just don't believe that Steve Rogers wasn't a traitor to his country. If he had been tried in England, he would've been sent to prison, where he belongs. People accused of crimes are more likely to have committed them than not. The system is already rigged enough in favor of criminals. Letting Steve Rogers go unscathed just made it be even more in favor of letting these so-called superheroes go free. I mean, just look at the Iron Man suit of armor issue. Tony got away with keeping a high-tech weapon at home!"
It's actually a high-tech prosthesis, Tony wanted to say, but he was too angry to risk opening his mouth just yet.
"Huh," Pepper placed a placating hand on Tony's twitching arm. "I'm happy that you're a man of such strong conviction, Mr. Dobson."
"Well, someone has to be the good guy, right?"
"Of course. I completely agree," the redhead continued, a small smirk forming on her lips. "Say, what's the punishment in England for engaging in adultery?"
Jack nearly choked on his drink at her words.
"What? Why… uhm… what?"
"Well, you know, a marriage is a legal agreement, correct? Breaking a legal contract has repercussions. Maybe not in a criminal court, but definitely in a civil one, particularly monetary repercussions against the offending party."
"I… I'm not sure what you're trying to imply here, Mrs. Stark, or how this relates to Captain America's unpunished betrayal. But I take offense to it."
"Oh, you do? Why is that?" Pepper tilted her head to the side in a way that Tony knew meant she was about to deliver a death sentence to a poor, unsuspecting soul.
"I'm not cheating on my wife."
"I never said you did."
"But your question implies it."
"Perhaps it did, but since you're innocent, why are you fighting me on this?"
"I'm not fighting you on anything."
"You said you took offense."
"Because I did."
"And why did you?"
"Because you accused me of cheating on my wife and threatened to do something about it."
"But you believe you're innocent, so why does it matter what I say?"
"Because you're wrong and I won't stand for this falsehood."
"Excellent!" Pepper smiled, even though they both knew he was lying through his teeth. "Then I guess now you understand why Steve fought back."
Jack opened his mouth to continue the argument, but nothing spewed out. He pursed his lips instead, took in a deep breath, and then cleared his throat loudly a few times while leaving the glass of unfinished martini on the tray of a passing waiter.
"Lovely chat, but I have to go."
"Well, that's a shame," Pepper was now the one to wear a fake smile of understanding. "But I'm sure your wife and son are waiting for you to go back. It is quite late. Don't want to keep you from getting home to your family."
Jack Dobson narrowed his eyes, his tone of voice and posture betraying the true meaning and intent of his next words. "Congratulations on your wedding. And good luck."
The couple remained silent until Jack Dobson was out of sight and earshot, and only then did the two of them glance at each other before laughing aloud.
"Wanna ditch this borefest and go somewhere else?" Tony asked after drying tears of mirth from his cheeks.
"Yup!"
"Where do you wanna go, Pep?"
"Anywhere you want."
xxxXXXxxx
Anywhere he wanted to go had led them to a national park; at an hour that she was certain was past curfew for the public location, especially for tourists. However, neither of them had seemed to care. And neither had the security guard that Tony had bribed to let them come inside in their limousine and stay after dark. Any other time, she would have frowned at Tony's antics but, right now, at this very moment, she just wanted to think about something other than the guilt and fear that were trying to consume her.
So far, so good.
They both currently sat on the trunk of the long vehicle, legs dangling from the edge of it, their bare feet on the back bumper, and their shoes placed atop the roof of the vehicle. They were sharing what was left of a bag of assorted native snacks they had picked up on their way here, taking turns chewing bites off the single, odd-looking piece of bread. They had tried to stick with food items that looked close to what they were used to eating, but the salesman had recommended they tried his most famous item on the menu. It had not looked at all appetizing to them, so they had bought only one single piece of it, if only to be polite.
They were both regretting that decision just about now.
"If I'd known this was gonna be this tasty, I'd gotten us more than just this one."
"I'm just glad you're sharing," Pepper licked her sugar-coated fingers, something that was unusual for her, but the treat was just plain worthy of poor manners. "You don't like to share food."
"Whatever. Filthy lying lies," he bit on the surprisingly good-tasting gluten-free pastry before handing it back to her. "I share my food with you all the time."
"Have you forgotten about the waffle incident?" she teased.
"Jury's still out on that one," he shrugged. "Technically, I didn't NOT share it with you. I just… ate it before you did."
Pepper scoffed and rolled her eyes, reluctantly returning the snack to his hands. "It was the last batch of waffles and you had heard me say the night before that I was gonna make them for myself the next day!"
"I was half-asleep, Pepper. Decisions made while lacking full mental capacities cannot be held against anyone. I don't think I'm fit enough to stand trial on that one."
"Oh, boy. Should I expect your attorneys to come by soon?" she rolled her eyes again, but also gave him a one-sided smirk, before accepting the bread from him once more.
"Speaking of attorneys and trials," he cleared his throat and spoke while he chewed. "Way to let Jack have it, Pep. I wanted to punch his perfect teeth more than I wanted to punch Rogers's, at some point."
"I noticed."
"It probably would've hurt his pride less than calling him out on his cheating."
"Ugh! Don't praise what I did! I'm so stupid! It's gonna be a joy to go to officially visit him in England next," she grimaced. "I should've just kept my mouth shut until then."
"Hey, it's the last of it," Tony said when the leftover of the bread was returned to his hands and he stared at it intensely while Pepper continued her speech of remorse.
"I'm such a hypocrite, huh? I claimed that you needed to think before you told Raul about our supposed secret wedding just to spite him, and there I went and did the same to Jack about Steve."
"But you didn't lie. Jack is having an affair. Bet Melanie knows it, too. 'sides, guy's full of shit," Tony shrugged, his eyes still on the bread in his hands. "And Steve… is not."
After another second or two of deliberation, Tony split the last tiny bite of the bread in two, and then handed half of it to Pepper.
"Here," he aimed the piece to her mouth, "Can't say I don't share my food with you. Here's for the waffles I ate."
Pepper eyed the bite with feigned mistrust.
"If I take you up on your offering, can I use it as evidence of accepting wrongdoing on your part?" she smiled.
"Uhm… no?"
"No?"
"No," he said more firmly before chuckling another response. "OK, maybe."
"I'll take it," Pepper replied and then opened her mouth to allow Tony to feed her the half of the bread. He followed the gesture by popping the other half into his mouth, both savoring the last of the delicious treat before licking the remnants of it from their fingers.
"So," Pepper swept sugar from her dress with her hands, "What did happen to Steve? To the Avengers? I… you… want… want to talk about that?"
Tony looked away from her and towards the tree line, his eyes narrowed, as if lost in thought. He took so long to respond in any way, that the ginger firmly believed he was going to decline the invitation to talk about what had been the latest and greatest worse moment of his superhero life. She was not sure of the details of what had transpired with Steve and the other Avengers, other than what she had gathered from the news: it had not gone well for a while, it had gotten half of them arrested, it had gotten a King killed, and Tony suited up again, even if he had sworn he was a non-combat member of the Avengers now.
She knew that the media, as evidenced by Jack Dobson's unpleasant conversation, did not know a tenth of what had actually taken place a few weeks back. When she and Tony were still together, she had felt torn between wanting to know every single detail of what was happening to him and those he fought crime with, and not wanting to know a single thing other than a final summary that included the phrase: Tony is alive. Now that they were apart, and despite this fake marriage, she was aware that he did not owe her any explanation. It was all his choice now, to let her know what crossed his mind. Even as friends, or whatever they were right now, she had no right to expect him to pour his heart out to her. Which, of course, did not mean at all that she did not care if he did not.
She had almost given up waiting for him to say anything at all, even if it was an offhanded I don't wanna talk about it, when the inventor suddenly slid up on the trunk so that his back now rested against the back glass of the vehicle and his legs no longer swayed from the edge. Pepper took it as a sign that he was willing to open up to her about his ordeal, even if just a little, so she shifted slightly towards her right and swiveled in place so that she could somewhat face him. In response, however, he patted the space next to him before helping her mimic his position to his left.
It took him another minute or so to order his thoughts, deciding which parts and how much he should be sharing with her at the moment. Once he started speaking, however, Pepper made sure to show him that she was paying full attention to whatever he had to say and that she had no intention to judge or interrupt.
"Steven didn't want to sign the Accords. He was against them. He… he knew exactly what giving up our independence meant, no matter how I tried to paint it for him. I thought… I thought I did, too. I thought it would be OK. I thought it was the right thing to do. The only thing that we could do, to make sure we didn't end up fucking up more than we fixed things."
Tony took a moment to pull on his tie, leaving it loose enough to keep it from annoying him but also tight enough that it still hung from his neck.
"We were given two choices: join or retire. Wanda, Steve, Sam and Clint decided to retire. Vision, Rhodey, Natasha and myself, we decided to sign the damn thing. Don't know what Thor or Bruce would've chosen. And it's not like we could've placed a collect call to them to find out."
The last part made them flare their nostrils and scoffed in slight humor, but they both knew that there was nothing truly funny about the events they were talking about.
"Long story short: Steve was right. Winter Soldier… Bucky… Steve's friend, was framed by this guy who hates us. His name is Helmut Zemo. Helmut J. Zemo. I mean, who names their kid like that, right? It's like they were asking him to become a villain."
Pepper gave him a small, comforting smile to praise him for his efforts, knowing that he was making jokes because he was uncomfortable with the topic of conversation but kept on. This was what he always did when he was on the verge of opening up to someone about something that had hurt him – that still hurt him. Hell, he still could not talk about the night his parents had died with a straight face, and that had been over two decades ago.
"That's how Steve got labeled as a traitor, for defending and supporting his friend. He never believed that it had been Bucky who had plotted to kill King T'Chaka when the Accords were supposed to become official. Didn't matter that there was video evidence and all signs pointed to him. He didn't buy it once. He fought it all until the end."
The redhead had an idea of what he was going to say next, of how much it pained him to have been in the middle of such a fiasco while rooting for the wrong team. It took forever for Tony to truly trust anyone and, if that trust was suddenly broken, the walls tended come back up again; this time made of steel and not wood. However, if he had been in the wrong in the first place, and his actions had caused more harm than good… Pepper just knew that he would carry that guilt with him until the day he died.
"Zemo wanted revenge for his family dying during the Sokovia incident. He blamed all of us. The Avengers. He was the one that killed the King. Framed Bucky. Made me think that–"
He paused abruptly and hung his head, looking up only when Pepper placed her right hand on his left one, stroking the back of it with her thumb. She did not smile, however, and neither did she tell him that he was innocent here, because they both knew that he was not. She knew that this was not what he wanted to hear. She knew that lying to him would not exonerate him from his mistakes – no matter how much either of them would have loved for that to be the case.
"It had to be that way," she finally said when it became clear that he was not going to finish his story tonight. "It sounds like it was messy as heck, but things happen in the way they're supposed to happen. Not in the way we wanted them to go."
The implication of her words was that there was nothing he could have done differently to prevent the events. Nothing at all that would have altered the final result. Life was what it was, no matter how much one kicked, cried or screamed.
He remained still and quiet for nearly a minute, their eyes locked on one another, no doubt processing each other's words. Her stance on the matter had been simple and unassuming; just as it always tended to be when his superhero faults left him with more headaches than what the job was worth. He knew that she was aware that his actions would forever haunt him; eat him inside. And they both knew that there was nothing to do about the past but reminiscence and learn.
He gave her a grateful smile as he placed his right hand on hers and then leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on her cheek.
"Thanks, Pep."
"What I'm here for," she whispered before he pulled away. They then both rested their back against the glass, fingers laced, and silently admired the dark sky above.
xxxXXXxxx
Two investors down…
Tony tapped his electric shaver against his palm, above the sink, before he returned his eyes to his image in the mirror.
…ten to go.
The billionaire was meticulously trimming his signature goatee in the penthouse's master bathroom while Pepper took a hot shower in the barely see-through stall behind him – the same one he had used, minutes ago, to try to wake himself up. The same one that the redhead was now using for the same goal.
He had been meaning to groom himself for a couple of days now. Yet, so far, their schedules and after-encounters had been so crazy that, as soon as they had returned to their temporary living quarters – and given that they did not get into a heated argument – they had had just enough energy to change into their pajamas and crash.
That had been the case last night, sans the pajama changing part, when they had returned to the hotel just a few hours before sunrise after spending most of their time together stargazing and chatting at the park. They had been so exhausted when they had stumbled into the hotel room, that neither of them had cared that they had practically stripped in front of each other and had gone to sleep, in the same bed, in nothing but their underwear. They had even left a trail of clothes from the door to the mattress, not caring about what the mess could be interpreted as when the lights came on. Then again, they were supposed to be married, anyway; haphazardly discarded clothing items were to be expected.
Moreover, it was not as if there had been anything exposed that either of them had not already seen of the other many times in the past. Although, at this juncture, the appropriateness of the behavior itself was questionable, to say the least, even if the rest of the world thought them to be wed. Nevertheless, when one had been out all day at an annoying party listening to fake politeness and passive-aggressive comments, and had then spent most of the night hanging out with a friend, it was difficult to give a rat's ass if your friend saw you in your underclothes as you unceremoniously crawled into bed.
Not three hours after their arrival, their blaring cell phone alarms had made them groan in frustration, reminding them that they still had a full day to spend in the company of Raul Contreras. They just could not wait for the end of the day to hit so that they could be on their merry way to the airport to get in their jet and leave – even though their next stop was as eye-roll inducing as their current one was. Damn it all to hell that it was only the first full week of their six-week travel that would come to an end today! For Tony and Pepper, it felt as if an entire month had gone by. Perhaps longer than that.
Nevertheless, and regardless of how irresponsible their actions of last night had been, Tony felt that he could easily deal with all the drama of this trip if he was given the chance to interact with Pepper every day in the same manner as they had cooperated the day before. It had not been strictly business, but it had also not been strictly platonic. It had not even been purely romantic either. It had been a welcomed combination of all of the above, with a sprinkle of the easygoing friendship they had once had. A friendship he hoped he could still salvage, were this fake marriage thing not one that was meant to last.
"UGH!"
He raised a single eyebrow when her loud and exasperated groan reached his ears. The water stream was then shut off, the shower door slid open, and he tensed for a moment. He was not done with his grooming yet – he was not even dressed – but he also felt as if he should have immediately left the bathroom as soon as she had shut off the water, for the sake of her privacy. Especially since, as he was witnessing from the reflection in the mirror, she had walked out of the shower wearing exactly what he was currently wearing: a simple towel around herself.
"You alright?" he asked instead of moving, hoping to gage her expectation and acceptance of his presence in the bathroom by the tone of her response.
"Tired," she sighed. "So. Very. Tired."
"Shower didn't do the trick?" Tony felt himself relax a little when she did not instantly demand that he leave the premises or fly his ass to China, whichever option took him the furthest away.
"Not even close," she replied with a yawn that she did not even bother to cover with the palm of her hand.
"Only eight more hours, Pep," he continued trimming his beard. "We can spend the entire night sleeping in the jet."
"How did I do this before?" she rubbed her face with her hands. "I mean, your schedule before this, when was I was your assistant… it was insane! I sometimes went days without sleeping, dragging your drunk ass everywhere, and I was fine. God! I'm getting old."
A small chuckle was his only response. She was a few years younger than he was; that much was known and true. If she felt that she was getting old in spite of her excellent health status, then that made him a walking corpse.
The redhead was now staring at her face in the mirror, as if she had never seen herself before. She stretched her cheeks and neckline with her fingers, shifting her head from side to side as she did so, and then proceeded to begin brushing her teeth. The couple continued their morning routine in a comfortable silence, not unlike many others they had shared before, until Tony finished his tasks first.
"Wanna eat breakfast here or stop somewhere along the way?"
"Uhm…" she pursed her lips and stared at the clock above the mirror. Her eyes then looked up and shifted left and right, all the gestures clearly showing how serious she was considering her response. About half a minute later, she simply shrugged and began walking out the bathroom with him while uttering her reply.
"Either one is fine with me. Whatever you want."
"Stop somewhere along the way it is, then. I feel that if we stay here for breakfast, we ain't never gonna want to leave to go talk to that asshole again."
"Maybe Raul won't be as obnoxious today," Pepper said as she neared the closet and began choosing her outfit for the day.
"And maybe Jack Dobson isn't cheating on his wife," Tony added, his back to the ginger, while they both began dressing up for the day.
"Yeah," Pepper sighed. "And maybe Christine Everhart is an upstanding citizen and honest reporter."
Tony threw his head back with a laugh, his left leg halfway inside his pants. "And maybe the board members will cut us some slack and let us go back home sooner than five more weeks."
"And maybe the investors will also just agree to signing off on the Foundation's projects without any questions or concerns."
"And maybe no one else will ever again ask us: so how is married life treating ya?" Tony stated, his voice picking up a mocking tone when quoting the question they had been asked ad nauseam the day before.
Pepper, who had been getting ready to add another ridiculous wish to their laundry list of petty requests, laughed aloud instead.
"Oh, God! That question," she shook her head before walking towards the dresser to start putting on her makeup. "If we had a dollar for every time we've been asked that so far… and for how many more times we're gonna hear it…"
"Then we wouldn't need this dumb trip in the first place. That money would pay for the projects, no problem."
"Yup," Pepper nodded, not at all surprised that the same thought had crossed their minds. It was how they operated, anyway; even before they had become more than just employer and employee.
"Could be worse, you know?" he shrugged. "Let's just hope that this is the only question we get asked about our marriage for now, 'cuz you know what comes next. Did you get married because you're expecting? Are you planning on having kids? When are you having kids? Why don't you have kids already? When are you gonna give little Robert Stark a little brother or sister? When will you have the third one? Surely Robert and Gwyneth aren't enough!"
By the time he realized what it was that he had just said, his eyes went as wide as hers already were, both looking at each other over their shoulders.
"Uhm," he gulped and then flinched before looking away from her. "I… huh… cough… shit… sorry? Very sorry. Crap."
Tony hastily finished dressing up and turned around in place. He fully expected Pepper to also be ready to rock and roll, but instead she was still standing there, a few feet away from him, holding her blouse against her otherwise bare chest, staring him directly in the eye. Or, as much as he allowed her to do so, seeing as he was trying to look at everything but her.
He watched from the corner of his eye how she fought for words – for the energy and will to ask whatever it was that was crossing her mind. He was not sure what she was trying to convey or say – a rare occurrence for either of them. All he could tell by her face was that she looked distraught; intensely processing his words and trying to figure out how to respond.
Finally, after another full, unnervingly silent minute, Pepper spoke.
"Robert… and Gwyneth?"
It took Tony a second to understand why she suddenly looked hurt, confused, and surprised; all at once. It was not so much the fact that he had spoken about imaginary children – it was mostly the fact that he had used actual names and all. For a brief instant, the billionaire felt confused himself as to why she looked as if this was the first time she had ever heard him refer to his potential kids by name. It took another second or so, for him to remember that his children-naming confessions to her had taken place only in his mind. He felt like a bastard for bringing up the names he had dared to reveal to her only in his dreams. Even if last said dream had turned into a nightmare, her reaction then to her finding out about his already-chosen offspring's names had been a lot better than her current one. If he had his way, right about now, he would have asked for part of his nightmare to become true in the next second – if only so that he could be sucked out of a jet to avoid the can of worms he had just opened for himself.
"Oh, Jesus! Please don't let me let you name our kids."
"Why not? Robert and Gwyneth sound like perfectly decent names to me."
"Robert and Gwyneth? You already chose names for our kids?"
"Of course I did!"
Continued images of his dream almost clouded his vision, particularly the ones that showed him how Pepper had died.
"Tony, I–"
"No. Stop. Please. I'm sorry. I just…" he shook his head to clear the mental fog and made a dismissive gesture with his hand, "Forget I ever said anything, please?"
Pepper lips parted to tell him that he had nothing to apologize for. That it was probably she who owed him an apology and an explanation, all the while being on the floor on her knees. That she regretted that she had ripped apart that beautiful dream of his – of achieving fatherhood with her – from his hands, without even telling him about it; and that she had no way of bringing it back.
She wanted to tell him that, when it came to family and legacy, he was so much better and ahead of the game than she was.
In the end, however, seeing no point in discussing the past and matters that could not be undone, she simply kept her mouth shut and gave him a comforting nod.
"Hey," the genius began, a sad smirk on his face, attempting to clear the room of the sad vibes. "It could've been worse, Pep. I could've named them Badassium 1 and Badassium 2."
Despite the gloominess of the situation, the redhead could not hold back a laugh.
xxxXXXxxx
Sweat made the blankets stick to her skin, and her throat felt dry and raw. She would have thrown the damn things off her and would have rushed to the minibar to drink all the water in the fridge, but she did not want to wake him up. She knew that they were both exhausted, to the point that her yelp and loud gasp of just now had not disturbed his deep sleep, and it was not his fault that her guilt was punishing her by generating nightmares that showed her one of the many ways he could have died, many times over. It was definitely not his fault that she was paying for the major mistake she had made, months back.
For someone who was not half as smart as Tony could be on a bad day, her brain was truly outdoing itself when it came to finding and showing her a million graphic ways that he could have died. If it was not him dying in the wormhole in New York during the alien invasion, it was him dying of palladium poisoning, alone in his long-gone garage. Sometimes, it was an unfortunate car accident during the Grand Prix at Monaco that took him away from her. Others, it was after the Grand Prix; his life ending at the hands of Ivan Vanko because she had not been quick enough to get him the suit in time.
Sometimes, her mind would replay the frightening moments in Sokovia, when a city was falling on him. And in her dreams, particularly the Sokovia one, she never lost her baby. In her dreams, Tony always died, but she and their baby always lived.
Knowing that sleep would elude her for a while longer, Pepper sat up in bed and tried to relax.
She was not a religious person, nor was she a strong believer of karma or reincarnation, but she could not help the doubt that would occasionally creep up in her, especially after suffering through yet another bad dream. As such, she sometimes wondered if the reason why she had lost her baby had not been so much due to the shock caused by her watching Iron Man in action and believing a falling piece of rock had crushed him, but because there were checks and balances on this planet and the equivalent of a life was another life.
Was her child the price to pay so that Tony remained alive? Had she not decided to voluntarily sterilize herself after her miscarriage, would she have suffered another loss if Tony's life got in danger again? Was losing a piece of them both the expected tradeoff for the inventor's life?
As a member of the Avengers, even if he was trying hard as fuck to avoid suiting up and being on the frontlines, there was always a huge chance of dying in the field. Even the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that were not out on patrol or doing reconnaissance were not exempt from hazard pay, and rightfully so. The superhero business was a dangerous one, no matter how it was sliced. One could be the janitor of the Helicarrier and still lose their lives on the job while taking out the trash.
The world had changed; Tony had said so many times, but she had not anticipated how much the changes were going to affect them and what they had.
Suddenly, an illogical and silly thought made her shudder in fear.
If Tony were to be in danger once more, whatever the cause, what would she be able to give up for him? What could she offer instead of yet another life? Could she offer her own? Could she trade places with him and pass on?
The ginger inwardly chuckled in disgust at her own thoughts. Overthinking and worrying about a hypothetical scenario that had no basis at all in reality was not the best way to spend her night. The impossible situation her tired mind was concocting was as unlikely as humans settling on the sun. Hell! She had a better chance to live through another alien invasion than for some unknown higher power to have time to play a life trading game with her and the man she loved.
She rubbed her face with her hands, feeling tiredness leaving her body but not her brain. She then stole a glance to her left to make sure that Tony was still sound asleep; his light snores confirming this fact. She rested the back of her head against the headboard and briefly closed her eyes before yet another thought entered her mind.
Her gaze slowly drifted to her right, toward the small table drilled to the floor of the jet, particularly to their wedding rings. It was still odd to see them there, especially since she knew the sentimental value the jewelry had for the genius himself. These had been Maria and Howard Stark's rings. And he had wanted her and he to have and wear them for the rest of their lives.
Proof that Pepper Potts has my heart.
The phrase he had chosen to engrave inside her wedding ring made her die a little inside. It both thrilled and angered her that he had thought so highly of her, all this time; that he had remembered the phrase she had used during that one occasion when she had opened up to him more than she should have while still being employee and employer. Times had changed, however, and so had they. Those times of relative innocence were long gone.
Without thinking, her hand landed on the nightstand, right above the rings, and she absentmindedly played with them with her fingers. Her eyes lost their focus for a moment, her mind simultaneously thinking of everything and nothing, until curiosity overrode all reason and thoughts. Before she could command herself to stop, she picked up his ring and her cell phone, held them both close to her face, and then used the light on her phone to read the inscription inside.
It took her a good minute to make sense of the tiny writing in the poor light. Yet, once the phrase became clear to her, she rolled her eyes and smiled.
Of course he would use something like this! It had Tony Stark written all over it, so to speak. Of course he would choose something that sounded just like him: sweet and conceited, all at once.
She shook her head and returned the phone and the ring to the nightstand, suddenly feeling ready to get back to sleep; her eyes closing immediately and her body relaxing when she felt him scoot over closer to her side of the bed to wrap an arm around her waist and press her back against his chest.
She did not even think of pulling away from him. After all, the phrase in his wedding ring justified what he had just done in his sleep.
I'm all she has too, you know?
Indeed, he was.
xxxXXXxxx
This was their third arrival. The third start of their forced-upon façade. Their third beginning on this too-long-for-their-taste business trip. They had, at some points thus far, barely kept up with appearances for over a week. Almost fucked it all up at sometimes, too. It was a miracle that they were still full-speed ahead with this charade, especially with the increase in media coverage and paparazzi the leaking of their fake wedding had caused. It was certainly a recipe for disaster; an accident waiting for a place to happen – yet, despite the odds, they continued to endure.
In fact, their actions and words of this very moment – a moment in which they exited their company jet to jump into their borrowed car and head for their new temporary shelter – were coming to them a lot more naturally than they had, nine days ago. Nine days ago, they had hardly been able to exchange morning greetings without flinching, let alone carry on a handshake or share a piece of bread. Nine days ago, the twosome was having issues closing their eyes while sleeping in the same room, their positions several feet away. Little over a week ago, the thought of wearing Maria Stark's wedding band and engagement ring, and responding to the calls of Mrs. Stark would have made Pepper hurl. Granted, the last one still made Pepper feel queasy, but for completely different reasons altogether.
Truth was that, now, in this very moment, after making a true commitment to what needed to be done, in addition to when, where and how, they were both finally on the same page. At long last.
Tony carrying their luggage into the trunk of the rented sports car seemed natural. The genius opening the door for her and then rushing to the driver's seat to start the vehicle felt natural. Pepper preparing to help him navigate the foreign country by putting in the address of their hotel on her Stark-issued phone looked natural. Even his right hand briefly leaving the gear stick to brush her knee to catch her attention every now and then to point at something interesting on the road appeared to be second-nature to both of them. It was as if something had finally clicked into place – something had used the correct combination in their brains to help them embrace what they were and who they had to be. He was not sure what it was. She did not want to call on bad luck by acknowledging it. It was what it was. All that was left to do was carrying it out.
"Make a left here," Pepper's eyes never left the screen of her phone, "The entrance to the hotel should be on our right, about halfway down the street."
"Are they waiting for us by the entrance?"
"Yup. They're gonna validate us outside the lobby."
"Good. This driving on the right side of the car while staying in the left lane is already fucking me up."
"Thanks for taking one for the team, Mr. Stark," she jested at his dramatic admission and he scoffed.
"Keep it up, Potts, and I'm gonna make you drive us to Jack's home. With your eyes closed. And no GPS."
"Thank you for your interest," Pepper deadpanned, her eyes never leaving her side window, "However, we regret to inform you that the position of limousine driver has been filled."
"Smart-ass," Tony grumbled.
"Takes one to know one."
"Touché!"
He patted her knee once more to show her he was just joking with her, just in case she did not know, before he began turning towards the entrance of the hotel, sweat quickly soaking his hands in uneasiness at the maneuver. By some miracle, he did not hit any vehicle, pedestrian, building, or space-orbiting satellite during the transition, leaving them by the lobby in a heartbeat and unscathed.
"Oh, thank God!" Tony practically hugged the valet parking attendant when he exited the car. "You're a good man. Take this death trap out of my hands, please."
Pepper chuckled and shook her head, more than just a little amused by the blunt display of Tony's anxiety with driving in London. She nodded her thanks to the gentleman that had opened the passenger door for her, and she then frowned when she saw that Tony had his hands on his knees, his head between his legs, and appeared as if he was about to throw up.
"Gonna kiss the ground, too?" she walked towards his form by the front of the car and then began rubbing circles on his back, "Like the Pope does when his plane lands?" she joked.
"Nope," he took in a deep breath and then stood up straight, "But I'm gonna kiss you, 'cause it helps," he replied, placed a quick kiss on her lips that she did not mind, and he then began rubbing his sweaty palms against his pants. "Jesus! You'd think I was being summoned again."
"Or that you aren't Iron Man and fly thousands of feet up in the air, in nothing but a titanium-gold alloy, one-man suit," the redhead extended her right hand towards him to lead him to the reception and he immediately allowed himself to be guided away.
"Oh, you sound so hot right now, Pep," he swapped hands with her and lifted their joined arms to throw them over her head and onto her shoulders so that he could keep their hold while also embracing her from the side with his left arm. "Say that again."
"Which part?" she smirked, not sure if she was flirting with him because they were in public and it was part of the act, or if it was because the banter felt familiar and she had missed it more than she cared to admit right now.
"You know which part."
"Titanium-gold… alloy?"
"Yeah, baby. That part. Talk dirty to me."
A loud guffaw and a shake of the head coming from her was followed by a wide smile and a wink coming from him.
"Your bags will be sent to you room, Mr. and Mrs. Stark," one of the bellhops told the ginger on his way out, practically tripping over his own two feet with how fast he was hauling towards the car. Clearly, their arrival was already the talk and focus of the place by now; all eyes on them and all hands-on-deck.
"Thank you," Pepper said with a nod at the retreating young man.
Before Tony could continue his playful conversation with his wife, a tall man with a nametag of Manager on his blazer intercepted the couple and greeted them halfway to the front desk.
"Mr. Stark! Mrs. Stark! Such a pleasure! Welcome, welcome!"
"Hi," Tony shook the eager man's hand with his free one. "What's your name?"
"Brian."
"Nice to meet you, Brian. Think can you speed up our check-in? My wife and I spent the whole night traveling and we have a 4 o'clock. Wanna freshen up before then. Think you can make magic happen?"
"Oh, yes, of course, sir! No problem at all. In fact, I have your keycards right here."
True to his word, the manager took out from the front pocket of his blazer two electronic cards, each inside an individual sleeve, and handed them both to the billionaire.
"That's what I'm talking about," Tony smiled.
"We've been preparing for your arrival, sir, ma'am. If there's anything that you need… anything at all, please call me directly."
Following his offer, Brian handed Pepper a business card with his contact information and then gave them both a slight bow. "Please, make yourselves comfortable. Your luggage will be taken to your room, shortly."
"Thanks," Tony said with a thumbs-up before he led Pepper to the elevator. Once inside and after pressing the button that would take them to the penthouse, the genius exhaled loudly, scratched the back of his neck, and then stared Pepper in the eye. "I miss Jarvis."
Pepper looked momentarily confused by his seemingly random confession until it dawned on her what had triggered the thought.
"The AI or… him…?"
"Him," Tony said in a sad tone.
"Do you think he still lives here?"
Tony shrugged. "Maybe. If he hasn't yet… you know…"
"I think we would've been told if he had."
"Maybe. Maybe not."
"Well, we could go see him."
"Nah."
"Why not? He'd be happy to see you, Tony."
"Would he?" Tony sighed. "I haven't spoken to him since…"
Tony was not sure if he had stopped himself from speaking or if the ding of the elevator announcing its passing trajectory to yet another level had interrupted his response. Either way, he was happy for the momentary distraction while he ordered his thoughts. The topic was a sore spot for him, as many of the ones related to people that had left his life on their terms rather than his always seemed to be. Jarvis had left him. His parents had left him. Obadiah's parental figure had, in some sense, left him. Pepper had left him. The other half of the Avengers had left him. He was an abandonment case with feet.
Even though he had named his AI in honor of the man he had mockingly and disrespectfully labeled as his nanny for a long time, he knew that his father and Edwin Jarvis had not gone their separate ways on the best of terms. In fact, as far as Tony was concerned, it was possible that Jarvis and his father never got a chance to let bygones be bygones before the passing of Howard Stark. Tony was unsure as to what had caused the rift between them, but he had a feeling that an impromptu and unannounced visit by the son of the man that had sent him packing back to London from the States would not sit well with the former butler of the Starks.
"He was at their funeral. I saw him. And he was also at Agent Carter's. Intelligence told me."
"Those don't sound like actions of a man that wants to stay uncommunicated."
"He was very loyal to his job at the mansion. And he and Peggy Carter were very close."
"And he cared for you very much," Pepper reminded him. She had never met the man in person, but there had been enough photographic and anecdotal evidence around Tony's former Malibu home and at Stark Industries' headquarters for her to know her words were true, whether Tony chose to accept them or not. She gave the inventor a minute or so to continue the conversation, but when he remained silent and pensive, she knew it was time to pull back.
The elevator doors chose that moment to open to welcome them to the private hall that would lead them to the royal penthouse. Their keycards served as clearance to access the VIP section of the hotel, and also as a gateway to the penthouse itself. They made quick work of the multiple levels of security features that kept the penthouse restricted to only those who paid 10 million dollars a night for it, and both of them breathed a sigh of relief once the front door closed and locked behind them.
Just as expected, the room was luxurious and large, with enough space for each of them to pick a room and a living space, effectively ensuring they did not have to cross paths at all while being in the same place. Nonetheless, they both automatically walked towards the master bedroom, closed the double-doors, and then simultaneously fell on the bed.
"We haven't even started this visit and I'm already exhausted," the redhead admitted, trying and failing at pushing her heels off her feet by shaking her legs. Tony noticed what she was attempting to do and snorted, only to then roll down the bed to the floor and taking the shoes off her himself.
"At least we know Jack's gonna be on his best behavior. Wife's there, and he knows that we know that he's a lying, cheating sack of shit."
"Or, he'll want to get even for us getting away with murder, or whatever he said."
"I doubt it," Tony said as he absentmindedly began massing the redhead's feet by the foot of the bed, his body sitting on the carpeted floor. It was a habit that he had picked when they had been living together, executed every time she came home from running his company while he had been there all day, tinkering and avoiding being the boss of his family's company. He was not sure how the woman was able to walk and run around in those heels all day – or how she had saved his ass from being fried by Iron Monger, way back when, while wearing them – but it was what she liked to wear and who she was. He would not change any of that about her.
Although, he would change plenty about himself, no doubt.
"I wonder how Piero's doing," the ginger said as she closed her eyes to take full advantage of the attention Tony was willing to provide.
"No news is good news, in his case."
"I'll go meet with him once we're done with this trip. I need to make sure we honor what he asked of us."
"Maybe we'll stop there before we go back to New York. Get it done in one trip."
"We can't," Pepper shook her head. "Accounting will be on my ass if I don't follow protocol. It's gonna be a personal trip. He doesn't want SI to be part of the deal."
"Mmhhh, yeah. You're right," Tony frowned, remembering how adamant the man had been about being Tony and Pepper managing his wealth, not The Foundation or Stark Industries, or anything that was not just the two of them.
"Besides," Pepper continued, "The Board's going to want a briefing as soon as we land. Wouldn't surprise me if they are waiting for us at the airport."
"Let's land at 2 A.M."
"Or not tell them when we land."
"Or ask them to behave like normal fucking people and be asleep at night."
Pepper laughed aloud. "We ask and expect too much of people, don't we, Tony?"
"I'd say not enough. We're bending over backwards as it is, traveling and playing nice with these pricks."
"Not all of them are bad."
"Most of them are."
"OK. True, but not all of them are pricks."
"I know. There's some mean ladies in the mix, too."
"Yeah," Pepper held back a groan, thinking of a particular mean lady she was not looking forward to seeing again.
"Don't worry about her," Tony said, not at all surprising for Pepper that he had read her mind. "I'm an honest man now. Committed man. Your man."
"That didn't mean much before. Don't think it will mean anything now. At least not for her."
"Well, if all else fails, I can lie to her and tell her I can't get it up. Occupational hazard. Lost in battle. Great loss."
Pepper covered her face with her hands to laugh, unsure as to how Tony could make the topic of castration via being maimed in battle sound funny at all.
"All jokes aside," he continued his response and swapped his massaging task from one foot to the next, "It'll be alright, Pep. You know you're the only one I love. She's just gonna have to accept that. And keep it in her pants… skirts… whatever…"
"That's true," the redhead replied, her voice almost a whisper, her eyes landing on his high-concentration looking face, and she smiled. "I trust you, Tony. It'll be all right."
He did not verbally reply, only nodded, and the ginger ran her thumb over her wedding band.
Thank you for the favorite/follow: HarmoSeriesAddict, Cacao85, Billy16.01.17, vwv, Shael Orthovin, kateswalshs, kateswalshs, and Pepperony106.
Stark13: I'm really addicted to your story ! Please update soon ! – Thank you! Sorry about the delayed updates :(
KymEsk: Me gusto mucho el capítulo. Tony no le ha contado lo de sus padre y se entiende es lo más difícil. Hay cada vez mas tensión pero se vislumbra. Ambos tiene heridas que necesitan cerrar y solo se tiene al otro. Espero con ansias el próximo capítulo Saludos. Al parecer Pepper esta de regreso! noticias/84794/Pepper-Potts-regresa-al-MCU-en-Spider-Man-Homecoming/ - No quiero arruinarlo mucho, pero es parte de los planes esa conversación con que para el final de esta historia, los dos hayan podido hacer lo que acabas de decir: cerrar las heridas y sanar. No me quiero emocionar con lo de Pepper en Homecoming, pero es dificil. Ya nos merecemos un break de las calamidades de los escritores de las peliculas, ¿verdad? :D
Guest: Owwww I really love your story please update soon. – Thank you very much ^_^ I think you'll really love this chapter.
A/N: Not much to say here other than thanking you, from the bottom of my heart, for your continued patience and support. My health continues to deteriorate, unfortunately. Not sure how or where I'll be in a few months. Meanwhile, I bring you a new chappie. Hope you all enjoy :)