Chapter 4

Late at night, at home on the ranch, Victoria went downstairs because she noticed light coming under her door that she didn't expect. She went into the hall and saw it was coming from downstairs. Something told her she knew who was down there. She went down the stairs, and there he was – sitting in his old thinking chair, just as if he had never been away.

Something about seeing him there was actually comforting. Oh, she wasn't deluding herself that he was remembering he was supposed to be there. That was too much to ask. It was just as if he had fallen into a habit he didn't even remember he had.

Victoria went over to him, touching his back, then sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. He smiled at her.

"Can't sleep?" she asked.

"Having some trouble," he admitted. "You?"

"I woke up and saw the light. You know, whenever you've been troubled, I've found you late at night in this chair. We all started calling it 'Jarrod's thinking chair.'"

He chuckled at that. "It's a comfortable chair."

"It's nearly two in the morning," Victoria said.

"I knew it was pretty late, but I'll be all right in the morning. Nick and Heath would like me to help cutting the calves out for branding."

"You know, they're getting a kick out of the thought of having you work with them on the ranch. You seldom did before."

Dakota smiled. "From the picture in the paper, I'm not surprised to learn that. And you said I lived in San Francisco. Seems I'm more a city man than a ranch hand, though I really find that hard to believe."

"Your father always wanted you to run the ranch, but I saw an intelligence in you that I wasn't seeing in Nick. I thought sending you to law school would be a good idea – save us money in legal fees and other professional fees. I was right, or so I thought. Perhaps the rancher has been deep down inside of you all along."

"Was I happy being a lawyer?"

"You seemed to enjoy it, but you pretty much enjoyed working the ranch when you helped out, too. You had one foot in one world and one foot in another, but you seemed to like it that way."

Dakota sobered a little and looked into the fireplace. "I've been wondering how I could possibly resume a legal career when I've lost all memory of how to do it."

"Do you want to resume it?"

"To be honest, I don't know what I want. I mean, you've all been wonderful to me, since the minute I turned up at the door, but – I don't know. I'm a little uncomfortable here."

"I thought so, from the way you acted in town today. You seemed a bit overwhelmed at times."

Dakota nodded. "I was. I suppose it'll take time for me to feel like I belong here, and I'm sorry, it's just not happening very fast."

"You may be the only one who feels like he needs to rush it." Victoria looked closely into the blue eyes she knew so well but that did not know her. He hadn't once called her 'Mother'. He hadn't called her anything yet. "Give it some time. Give us a chance. Give yourself a chance. I know the temptation to go running out the door and never look back is very strong, but don't do it, not yet. You've only been here a little more than a day."

Dakota chuckled. "So I keep reminding myself. But to believe that I actually lived here, grew up here, belonged here – I can't say it was the life I was expecting to find when I hoped I would find it. It is overwhelming."

Victoria stood up and kissed his forehead. "There are many things you have to learn yet, and many things we have to learn about you. Be patient, Dakota. We will be. We're just so happy you're alive."

Her voice closed on that last word. Dakota reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'll be patient," he said. "And I'll see you in the morning, before I show off my cutting skills. I don't think Nick will believe it until he sees it."

Victoria chuckled. "You're right about that. With Nick, only seeing is believing. Good night, Ja – " She nearly said it. She stopped. "Good night, Dakota."

"Good night," he said as she started back upstairs.

He listened to her go, hearing the rustling of her gown as she went up the stairs. She was a very nice woman, someone he would have dreamed of having as a mother, if he had ever dreamed of such things. But all this – the people, the place, the wealth – he never dreamed of all this.

It was really tough to swallow.

XXXXXXXX

Come morning, Nick and Heath helped Dakota pick out a good cutting horse, and in a little bit they were all out with the herd. Cutting calves from the herd had become so second nature to Dakota now that he thought it was something he'd done regularly before he lost his memory. But Nick couldn't believe what he was seeing. "I never thought Pappy had this in him. He's really good at it."

"I'm not completely surprised," Heath said as they watched Dakota cut another calf from the herd and run it over to where the branding was going on. "He always was a good rider. I used to watch him move a horse around sometimes. He's really at ease with it, always has been since I've been around."

"Maybe he should have been the rancher and me the lawyer." Nick said that with a wink.

Heath spurted out a laugh. "No, Nick, I think Mother and Father got it right the first time around. Lawyering was never for you."

McCall rode up beside them just then, saying, "Boy, Nick, I know you don't remember this but when Jarrod was a kid, maybe eleven or twelve, he could cut a calf out of a herd like nobody's business. Watching him today is bringing back memories for me, even if they're not coming back for him."

"If he was so good at this, why did they send him to law school?" Nick asked.

McCall laughed. "Well, they weren't about to send you. You and school books never did get along. I always reckoned it was because Jarrod got along with them so well. The two of you had your rivalry, but you always did want to be different from your older brother, and he wanted to be different from you."

Nick suddenly remembered that and said, "Hm. Yeah, you're right. I wasn't too keen on the idea of living up to whatever it was Jarrod was doing. I was glad when he decided to be a lawyer, because I sure didn't want to be one."

Nick's smile as he watched his older brother work made Heath smile, and remember. When they couldn't find Jarrod, when they all had to accept that he wasn't coming back, Nick had been devastated, but he had been a rock for them. He took care of closing up Jarrod's office and selling the books and furniture. He took care of comforting their mother when she woke up crying at night. He did his own grieving privately, but he did it, Heath knew. Now Nick's happiness at having his brother back - even if he wasn't entirely back yet - was almost bursting out of him.

"Yeah, it does fill a hole, him being back, even if he is Dakota and not Jarrod," Heath said.

"He's Jarrod," McCall said. "He hasn't accepted it yet, but he will. In the meantime, we can just be glad we have a new cutter. who's actually good at it."

McCall rode off back to work, and Nick and Heath followed along.