Thanks to Pip the Dark Lord of all for reviewing, and to DeYi & WeilIchsKann for following!
After the servants had arranged the new, rainbow-colored lawn furniture to Boromir's liking, Boromir had collapsed in the throne.
"Oh, being a steward is such a hard job!" he moaned.
Just then, a servant came into the room, bowed, and said, "Your lunch of caviar and escargot, as you requested, sire, is ready." He bowed deeply again and left the room.
Faramir stared at his brother. "You requested escargot and caviar?"
Boromir shrugged and said, "It's one of Father's favorites. I thought I'd try it."
Faramir didn't know if he should groan or laugh. Boromir would probably pound him if he did either one. "Do you even know what escargot is?"
"Well-I-it's-" Boromir cleared his throat. "Um…let's just go eat it." He muttered under his breath, "What-ever it is."
Once seated, Faramir, who'd asked for a cheeseburger for lunch, began eating immediately. Boromir bit into his fish eggs and snails, turned green, and guzzled his glass of grape juice. (The cook had put his foot down at Boromir's request for wine, forcing him to settle for grape juice instead.)
"I-I-uh, Horin?" he looked at one of the servants, turned red, glanced at Faramir, and mumbled, "I'll take a cheeseburger, too."
Walls Are White
Faramir took a deep breath and bellowed. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOROMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!"
Boromir snorted awake from his royal nap on the throne. "Huh? Whazzat? Whozzere?"
Faramir rolled his eyes. "It's me, Boromir."
Boromir looked confused for a second. "Oh! Modrin! I was just-I was-" Boromir tried to look dignified, which is a hard thing to do when you're half asleep.
"No, Boromir-it's me, me. Faramir."
"Fara-? Oh." Boromir realized it was just his brother, and slouched in the chair again. "What is it?" he asked, yawning.
"What is it? Boromir, it's almost noon! You've been sleeping for hours! I've been up since dawn!"
"Well, being steward of Gondor is hard work…not that you would know." Boromir got cranky when he was tired, and he did not want to admit that he'd been up until one a.m. playing cards with one of the servants.
Faramir squinted at him. "You were up until one playing cards, weren't you?"
"Why…how…no! Of course not! That's preposterous!" Boromir spluttered.
Faramir smirked. "You were."
"I-I-" Boromir sighed. "Okay, fine. Yes, I was playing cards until one o'clock. Happy?"
"Well, the furniture company isn't. They're demanding that you pay them straight away for the lawn chairs you ordered, or they said it could get ugly. And it could you know. After all, the company you bought the furniture from is Rohanian."
Boromir leapt to his feet and pumped his fist in the air. "Well, if they want war, they'll get war!"
"They don't want war! They just want you to pay them!"
Boromir grumbled a little bit longer, then finally said, "Fine. How much are they asking?"
Faramir told him the price and Boromir jumped to his feet. "That's an outrageous price!" He roared. "I say WAAAAAAR!"
"No! They don't want war! You just have to pay them! You should have checked the price before you bought the furniture!"
"I still say war! Imagine how proud Father would be if I won a whole war while he was away!" Boromir grinned and rubbed his hands together, thinking.
"Imagine how angry Father would be when he found out you started a war while he was away!"
Boromir paused. "True," he admitted. He sighed. "…Have the treasurer pay them."
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