I'd just like to say I'm really sorry I haven't posted anything in a long time!
Boromir greeted his brother as he walked through the palace doors. "Good! You made it back in record time!"
"You were timing me?"
"Sure I was! And usually when I call you back to the castle to do something, it takes you thirteen minutes and forty-seven seconds to come back. This time, it only took you thirteen minutes and forty-one seconds!"
"Gee, that's great. What did you need me back so fast for?"
"Well, I figure that Pops is gonna be pretty upset about the walls, right?"
"Yeah…"
"So, to cheer him up, I got him…this!" Boromir held up a black tee-shirt that read:
POPS:
THE MAN.
THE MYTH.
THE LEGEND.
"Well? Do you think he'll like it?"
"It's from you; of course he'll like it. But if he'll wear it is a different story entirely."
"Eh, it doesn't matter if he'll wear it or not – just so long as he likes it enough to not punish us."
Faramir shook his head. Sometimes – actually it was more like all the time – he didn't understand his brother. "Alright, so the plan is to give him the tee-shirt, then POOF! Everything will be better?"
"Sure!"
"Seriously?"
"Hey, you got a better idea?"
Faramir sighed. He seriously didn't think this gift would make Denethor any happier. But hey, if a tee-shirt might just get him out of a week in the broom closet, he was willing to try it.
"Whatever. When are you going to give it to him?"
Boromir pondered that for a moment. "Sometime before he finds out I put Kool-Aid in the shower-heads."
"You what!? Those are diamond showerheads! They'll be ruined! Do you know how much those cost?!"
"Eh," Boromir waved it off. "I ordered three more boxfuls of them."
"Wait – just how many showerheads did you put Kool-Aid in?"
Boromir looked at him like he was crazy. "Well, all of them, obviously. There are three hundred and twenty-four showerheads in this castle. If I only put Kool-Aid in one, the chances of him getting blasted by it are…" He paused, doing math in his head. "Are…are…well, a lot to one!"
"And we want him to get blasted by it because…?"
"Because…because…well, you don't need an explanation for everything! In fact, some things are better left unsaid! Now," he said, rubbing his hands together, "let's eat!"