She didn't feel the panic anymore, she had stopped shaking, and though she still occasionally shed a tear, it was out of happiness. They didn't loosen their grip on each other though; still clinging to each other like a lifeline, refusing to let go. He pulled back slightly, but still kept one arm locked around her waist as he brought his other hand up to cup her face. He wiped away her stray tears and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I missed you so much Olivia." He whispered and she looked up at him, her lips brushing against his.

"I missed you too." Her voice isn't shaking anymore, but when he looks at her he can see that she's emotionally exhausted. She's still beautiful like she always has been in his eyes, but he can tell that the years of stress, worry, fear, and pain have taken a toll on her. She had been through hell without him, and although it wasn't his fault that he had been gone from her life for 7 years, he couldn't help but feel guilty. He wished he could go back in time, take all her pain away, protect her when she needed him the most. But all he could do now was be there for her, to wipe her tears, and give her the love she deserves and has been missing. He leans in and kisses her sweetly, pouring his love for her into one simple kiss, and lets a few tears of his own fall. It's the first time in years that she doesn't feel numb, and she kisses him back, her tears mixing with his. She's happy, so happy that if she's dreaming she never wants to wake up. They pull back when they need to breathe and he nuzzles his nose against hers, his goatee tickling her chin and she laughs.

"What?" She kisses his chin and smirks at him.

"All those years as partners and I don't think you ever came to work with a single whisker on your face. Then suddenly I'm not with you and you forget to shave?" He rubs his cheek against hers and chuckles.

"I'm an old man, I don't need to shave anymore." She laughs again and rolls her eyes.

"Oh please, don't say that, if you're old..that means I'm old too." He grins and responds teasingly

"Well…"

"Hey!" She smacks his chest lightly. "You're lucky I love you Stabler."

"I love you more Benson." He kisses her forehead, his lips lingering for a moment.

"Right and calling a woman old is SUCH a great way of showing how much you love her" She responds, but smiles so he knows she's not angry with him.

"Your age doesn't matter, you're still as gorgeous as you always have been in my eyes. You're perfect"

"Trying to butter me up now huh?"

"Nah, purely stating a fact."

"Man I missed you"

"You'll never have to again, I promise" There's a knock on the door and she groans in annoyance.

"This better be REALLY important. Who's bleeding?" She calls and Elliot laughs at the annoyed sarcasm in her voice and starts to pull away from her, but she snuggles back into him, laying the side of her head on his shoulder so she's facing the door, but not wanting to leave his warmth. Barba steps into her office

"Haven't gotten a paper cut yet today but thanks for your concern. Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes, you are but I forgive you. El this is Rafael Barba, our ADA. Rafa this is Elliot Stabler, my old partner." She puts emphasis on the word 'old' to get back at him for their earlier banter and he just smiles and rolls his eyes.

"Nice to meet you sir, I don't mean to break up your reunion. Just wanted to check on Liv, the last case was pretty rough on her..but she seems pretty happy right now." She looks at Elliot and rests her head against his cheek.

"I really am."

"Good. Take a few days off to rest and spend time with him Liv, you deserve it. Plus I know you have plenty of vacation days."

"I will" Both men look surprised.

"Did Olivia Benson just agree to take time off work, without any argument?"

"Oh shut it Stabler, or you're sleeping on the couch tonight." She responds playfully, but the threat isn't sincere because there's no way she would intentionally be separated from him tonight. They hadn't seen each other in 7 years, and she wasn't letting him go that easily, even if it was just sleeping in different rooms.

"You must be a pretty special guy Elliot, I don't think she's taken a single day off willingly in the 5 years I've known her."

"I'd like to think I have that effect on her." He smirks and she rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Oh he did NOT need that ego boost." She looks into his eyes and smiles. "But yes, he's very special to me." She gives him a peck on the lips before turning back to Barba.

"I can see that. I'm gonna head home now, I'll see you when you get back."

"Ok, thanks."

"And Stabler?"

"Yeah"

"Take good care of her, she's been through a lot."

"I will, there's no place I'd rather be." Then Barba leaves and it's just them again. It's darker outside now, and the squad room is mostly empty. As if reading her mind, Elliot yawns.

"You ready to go home baby?" She asks him, leaning her head against his.

"Honey you are my home, as long as I'm with you I don't care where we go. But yes, I could use some sleep." He responds and she kisses him softly before moving away from him so they could walk out of her office. She immediately feels cold from the loss of contact and momentarily questions if it had really been real, if he was there, if he had been holding her and she wasn't dreaming. He notices and laces their fingers together, squeezing her hand to let her know he's still there.

They arrive at her apartment and he steps inside first, going back into his protective partner mode and checking for any sign of danger before letting her go in.

"Elliot-" She knows what he's doing and rolls her eyes at him, even though she can't deny that she's missed his protective nature towards her. It was one of the things she loved most about him. He always made her feel safe, no matter the situation.

"What" he responds innocently and she raises her eyebrows, her eyes telling him 'you know what'

"Livvie come on, I haven't been able to be overprotective in years, let me be your protector again..pleease?" He pouts and she laughs, giving him a kiss.

"Fine, you're lucky you're impossible to resist. Sometimes I wonder how I put up with you for 12 years." She responds teasingly

"Because you love me."

"Very very much..but you can still be a pain in my-"

"Ouch!" He laughs and fakes insult

"Bruised your ego?"

"It'll survive"

"Oh, great" she rolls her eyes and pauses before remembering something he said earlier.

"Since when do you call me Livvie?"

"I was trying to sound adorable so you'd give in"

"Wow" she shakes her head and laughs.

"It worked didn't it" she kisses him deeply to shut him up.

"Mmm..you miss Benson are making it very hard for me to remember that I have to behave because there's a kid in this apartment." The tone of his voice makes her shiver.

"Actually there's not." She wraps her arms around his neck. "I uh, I let Noah spend the night at his grandma's tonight."

"Sheila?"

"Yeah. I wasn't sure about her at first but, I've talked to her a few times. She seems like a genuinely nice person and I felt bad you know? She's his only connection to his birth mother, she has the right to be in his life. She babysat him for me the other day and I think they had fun. I worry about him but...I want him to be happy. It's hard to know what the right decision is sometimes but..I figured it's only one night. Is that-does that make me a bad mom?

"Not at all. You're a great mom Liv. Parenting isn't meant to be easy, we just do what we feel is best for them and hope at the end of the day they know we tried. They'll know everything we did was because we love them." She turns away from him when she tears up, ashamed that he's seen her cry so much today. It made her feel weak. Worthless.

"He told me I work too much, that he wishes Lucy was his mom." He can hear her voice break and knows she's trying not to cry.

"Oh sweetheart, come here." He pulls her back into his arms and wipes her tears. "You never have to hide your tears from me honey. And you know he didn't mean that, he's 4 years old Liv. He's not old enough to understand how the job works, that you wish you could be with him. But he still loves you I promise. Trust me, I've been there. Working SVU with 5 kids at home, it's..tough when they're little. But once they got older they understood. Noah will too." She chokes on a sob.

"But he's right El. Lucy's been with him more than I have and I'm his MOTHER. I've always wanted to be a mom Elliot, and now that I finally am I don't feel like I'm doing anything right."

"I don't think Kathy or I ever felt like we were either. We just did the best we could, that's all you can do Liv. As long as Noah's happy and healthy and loved you're doing something right. And he is Liv, there's no doubt in my mind that you love that little boy and that you've been a wonderful mother to him. He knows you love him and he loves you too even if he doesn't understand everything you do yet. And I'm here now, you're not alone anymore. Let me help you through this, let me be a rock for you to lean on. You've carried this weight long enough, let me lighten your load. I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you." She sniffles and snuggles into his embrace.

"And I love you, immeasurably. And I always will, don't ever doubt that. I'm your partner, maybe not at work anymore but I'll be your life partner..if you'll have me..for better or worse." Her heart swells with affection for him and more tears fall at his words. She can't remember a time when someone made her feel as loved, as special as the man holding her does. He leans down and kisses away her tears, then gives her a loving kiss on the lips.

"So..we're really the only ones here tonight?" He asks, glancing at the bedroom and attempting to lighten the mood. She laughs through her tears and smirks.

"Yep, just us." He leans down and whispers in her ear.

"Let me take away your pain Liv." He kisses her earlobe."Let me help you relax." He plants a kiss on her eyelids, forehead, and nose. "Let me show you how much I love you." He kisses her, deeply and lovingly.

"Ok." she smiles and closes her eyes and leans her forehead against his as he picks her up and carries her to her bedroom.

A/N: Not gonna write the scene, it's free to your imaginations :)

Next: They talk more, and Elliot meets Noah