They held each other for about 15 minutes before deciding to get up and eat brunch. Elliot decided to take a shower while Liv cleaned up and texted Nick back, telling him that 'yes she was ok after yesterday and El got in safely'. She then threw on some sweats, deciding if she was taking off work she might as well relax, and got a hoodie and pants of Elliot's that she still had in her closet for him to change into. She noticed he had finished showering and was shaving, so she decided to tease him a little.

"Thought you were too old to shave anymore." He looks at the door and sees her standing in the doorway smiling with her arms crossed. He smiles back and rolls his eyes.

"Well...I am...but figured I could still clean up a little. I don't need a disguise anymore you know?"

She walks over to him and leans against the counter. "I get it El..but uh, does it all have to go? You gotta leave a little for me to enjoy."

"Yeah?" He raises his eyebrow at her and smirks, moving so he's directly in front of her and resting his arms on the counter. Locking her in. "What do you suggest.?" He leans down so his beard is tickling her cheek and she giggles.

"Here." He's surprised but intrigued when she takes some of his shave cream and his razor, and gently shaves along his jawline and cheeks, leaving the stubble on his chin that she loved and giving him a clean looking 5 'o clock shadow while trimming the longer parts of his beard. Making him look a bit younger but not completely clean-shaven like he use to be.

A/N: I was thinking of a contrast between how Chris looks now and how he looked in the selfie they took last December while writing this.

"There." They smile and look at each other for a minute. "Man I missed this face." She strokes his now smooth cheek she had cleaned up and feels tears in her eyes. He leans down and kisses her gently on the forehead.

"I bet I missed you more."

"Oh, I don't think that's possible." She moves for a minute to get into a cabinet and he notices she has a bottle of his aftershave lotion.

"I left that here too?" She moves over to him again and starts applying the lotion to his face.

"I bought some..I uh" She trails off and looks into his eyes to hold herself steady. "After Lewis had me, for the first few months I was having severe flashbacks. Worse than what I had yesterday and..and the nightmares-" She shivered. "God why is this affecting me so much, it's been 4 years I just-"

"It's ok Liv, I'm right here." He wraps his arms around her waist protectively and his words give her the strength to continue.

"You know from the job that certain familiar smells can help keep a victim grounded when having PTSD symptoms-" His heart aches when she refers to herself as a victim. She should never have been one because he should've been there. He should've protected her. "After Cragen told me where you were and I talked to you on the phone, I didn't have a flashback for the rest of the evening and only woke up from a nightmare once. I just kept hearing your voice in my head and that seemed to keep me calm. A few days later, We had caught a case and I wanted to prove that I could handle it but I...I guess I wasn't ready. I had a really bad flashback and started having a panic attack while the victim we were interviewing was having the rape kit done. Turns out that Kathy was her nurse-"

"Kathy as in my ex-wife Kathy?"

" yeah. She saw me and I guess had heard about Lewis. She and Nick were both trying to calm me down but I was so..so terrified that I couldn't focus on anything." She was shaking and if Elliot hadn't been holding her waist she probably would have sunk to the floor.

"Hey..hey come here, come here." He pulls her into his arms and she rests her cheek against his. "Just breathe sweetheart, just breathe. I've got you." She snuggles into him and takes a deep breath, inhaling his scent. I'm with Elliot. I'm safe. I'm safe. " Only talk about this if you want to Liv, you don't owe me an explanation. About anything."

" if I never talk about this...if I don't open up, he'll be in my head forever and I don't want that. I want him to just go away."

"He can't get you here remember? He can't beat us when we're together. Let me be your safe place Liv, I'll protect you. I'm your safety remember?"

"I know". She wraps her arms around his waist and rests her head on his chest. Focusing on his heartbeat and his soothing voice.

"Does Kathy know I was in witness protection?" He decides to change the subject for a second. Distracting her from her thoughts. She nods against him, not wanting to leave his comfort.

"Yes, Cragen told her. The older kids know too. I'm not sure about Eli."

"Have you kept in touch with them?"

"Occasionally they'd check on me after the Lewis stuff. Make sure I was ok. When I had the panic attack in the hospital, Kathy called Lizzie and told her to get some of your aftershave and bring it. She hadn't thrown it out. They wrapped me in a blanket and squirted some of your lotion on it. It smelled like you and helped me break out of my panic. Made me feel safer. Kathy told me to keep the bottle, so I took it home and squirted some on my pillow. It made me feel close to you and helped me sleep. I still had nightmares but they weren't as frequent. So I've just kept some on hand in case. Course I didn't need it last night." His heart swelled with affection for her. He loved her so much, and if staying by her side and holding her in his arms was what it took to keep the fear from her heart, he never wanted to let go of her again.

"Well, if you feel like you do, or if you want to talk about anything that happened I'm here ok?

"Ok." He kisses her softly and keeps an arm around her waist as they walk back into the bedroom.

"I've still got some old clothes of yours too if you want to change."

"Thanks." They're interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Sheila's early, I told her she could keep Noah till 3 and it's 1:30. Hope everything's ok."

"I'm sure it is. Maybe he just wanted to come home." He got dressed while she went to the door and looked in the peephole.

"El!" She called from the living room.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know when you were planning on getting back in touch with your family but uh...Kathy's at my door."

"Kathy's at the door? Oh god, what if something happened to one of my kids?" He was immediately concerned and fearing the worst.

"Maybe she just heard you were home and figured you'd be here." She tries to reassure him.

"Well..one of us should probably open the door I guess." He's nervous, both because he hasn't spoken to Kathy or his kids in 7 years and because he's worried about why she is standing outside his partner's door. She squeezes his hand.

"Hey..whatever happens, we're in this together remember?" He takes a deep breath.

"You two realize how thin this door is right? You're not in trouble, the kids are fine, and I'm perfectly fine with you being together. Now open this door and stop acting like your mother came home and caught you partying." Luckily, Kathy sounds amused and not angry. Elliot opens the door and his ex-wife rolls her eyes at his expression.

"Before you start freaking out, Fin called me and told me you were home. I went to the precinct this morning but he told me you were with Liv. It's been 7 years, I just wanted to see you. Breathe." Both women laugh when he breathes a sigh of relief and visibly relaxes, but seems to have a hard time finding words. Olivia speaks up first.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee?

"That would be great, thank you but please relax. I'm just over here to chat." Liv gives her a small smile as she walks back to the kitchen.

"Kathy I...I would have called, I was planning to but-"

"It's fine Elliot, you needed to start on solid ground. You and Olivia have always been close and I don't know how much she's told you but she's been through a lot since you've been gone."

"I know she has." Olivia comes back into the room with Kathy's coffee and hesitantly sits next to Elliot on the couch.

"Thank you. And if it makes you guys more comfortable, I'm remarried. About a year and a half now. His name's Peter and he's a doctor I had been seeing for about 4 years."

"Wow, that's, congratulations."

"Is he a good guy?"

"Yes, he makes me very happy and the kids like him." She realizes what Elliot's asking and continues teasingly. "You don't have to do a background check on him, Dickie's already done one. He's not in CODIS, no criminal record."

"Dickie's a cop?"

"Yep, just patrol right now but hoping to be a detective. He wants to follow in his dad's footsteps."

"Wow, I never would have thought-"

"He was on the fence about it for a couple years, but after he heard what happened to Olivia, that seemed to help him make his career decision."

"How are the others?" He moves the topic away from Olivia's kidnapping and she gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Maureen's a nurse now, and has been engaged for about a month to a guy she met in med school."

"What do you think of him?"

"He's a pretty nice guy, they have been together for a couple years now."

"Good."

"Kathleen is doing better, still goes to therapy but the medicine is helping. She's actually a psychologist now."

"My baby is a shrink?" His expression makes both women laugh again.

"Oh, I haven't even told you what Lizzie is studying to be yet."

"Should I be worried?"

"Only if you are arrested and have to go to court. She's in law school, wants to be a lawyer."

"Prosecution or defense?"

"Prosecution."

"Good, if she was a defense attorney I might have a heart attack." They laugh again.

"Eli is 10 years old now, in 4th grade and plays soccer."

"He have any career aspirations yet?"

"Well in his words 'A superhero like his dad'"

"He remembers me?"

"He knows that his father couldn't be here with us right now, and we didn't want him to think you had abandoned him. So Lizzie told him that you were a superhero and had to leave to save the world but you'd be back someday. Of course, he just thought that was so cool and is determined to be one too."

"He's gonna be crushed to learn that I'm not really that cool and I have no powers."

"Hey, you might not have a cape but you're still a hero El." Liv replies. Leaning back against his arm that is casually draped on the back of the couch.

"She's right, you are. He may not know you very well but he's proud to tell everyone you're his dad."

"Do the kids know I'm home?"

"Not yet. I just found out a few hours ago. I actually came over because Christmas is this Sunday and Peter and I are hosting dinner. All the kids are coming and we would love to have you and Liv come too. It would be a great opportunity for you to reunite with them." Liv speaks up first.

"Oh I wouldn't want to impose, you guys should have dinner as a family. Noah and I can just have dinner here."

"Nonsense, you're an important part of Elliot's life. Noah can come too and the kids would love to see you."

"Come on Liv, you know there's no way I'm leaving you alone again if I don't have to. And I miss big family dinners." She gives him a sympathetic smile.

"Ok, we'll come."

"Good, I'll text you the address. I better get going, have to take Eli to his dentist appointment"

"It was good seeing you again Kath."

"You too Elliot, I'll see you guys Sunday." She gives him a friendly hug and leaves.

"Wow. I mean I knew I'd have missed stuff but so much has changed. I've missed so much of my kids' lives I-"

"You know they still love you El, you're their father. That will never change. You'll catch up with them on Christmas and all get to know each other again."

"I know it's just...it's been so long. I don't even know who I am anymore. I've been living someone else's life for almost a decade."

"You might have been living as someone else Elliot but you're still you. You're the same man I worked with for 12 years. You're still dedicated, loyal, loving, protective...you still make me feel safe. You'll still be an amazing father to your kids." She moves so she's sitting on his lap and wraps her arms around his neck, and he wraps his arms around her in return. Cradling her. "And sure you're a little older but you're eyes are still the same eyes I use to get lost in when we'd look at each other from our desks." She leans her head against his. "And that smile that I've always loved still makes my heart melt." She captures his lips with hers and he smiles against the kiss. "You still sound the same. Your voice is still soothing and gentle but firm like it always was. And you still smell the same...well after a shower anyway." He chuckles at that and pulls her back into a kiss. She moves her hands from his shoulders to his arms. "And you may not be a cop anymore, but you've definitely still got the muscles to beat up perps."

"I do huh?" He responds in the same flirtatious tone as her.

"And that ego hasn't gone away either" she laughs and he pouts before giving her a quick kiss.

"You're still the same man I fell in love with 19 years ago Elliot Stabler, sure you have less hair but still."

"Hey, it's still hair." He whines and she rolls her eyes

"My point is that being in the program didn't change who you are. You just had to be a different version of yourself for awhile, but you're the same man I've always loved. Even before I was ready to admit it." He smiles and cups her cheek with his hand.

"I love you too. So much." He pulls her into another kiss and she starts to deepen it when there's a knock on the door.

"Kids always have the worst timing."

"Never thought we'd be saying that about mine and not yours" she laughs lightheartedly as she reluctantly leaves his arms and goes to the door. Hopefully one day we'll call him 'ours'. He thought but didn't say out loud. He wanted to give her the family she always wanted. He knew pregnancy could be dangerous at her age but he would find time to ask her if he could adopt Noah. Then the boy would have both a mother and father and Olivia would have the family she dreamed of. A loyal partner and a child. Course he'd love to marry her, but he wasn't sure she'd be ready for that. They'd have to talk about it. He's interrupted from his thoughts by her opening the door to Noah and his grandmother.

"I hope you don't mind, he wanted an ice cream cone and I figured a small one wouldn't hurt."

"Not at all, he could live on that stuff if I let him." Both women laughed and Sheila gave Noah a hug goodbye. Olivia knelt down next to him when she left.

"Did you have fun sweet boy?"

"Yeah, Grandma's really nice!"

"Well good. Momma missed you!" She stands and looks over at Elliot who's grinning at the exchange. Seeing his Liv as a mother makes his heart warm.

"Noah do you want to meet someone really special?"

"Like a superhero?" Both adults laugh at his enthusiasm.

"Well kinda, he is to me."

"Cool!" Before Liv can say anything else Noah runs over and sits on Elliot's knee."

"Hi mister, my name's Noah. Mommy said you're really special and I can tell because of how much she's smiling. I like you already because you make my mommy happy. I like it when mommy smiles. Are you really a superhero?"

"Well, I like it when your mommy smiles too Noah. I use to be a cop like your mommy, we fought bad guys together." He sends a wink in Olivia's direction and she can feel her heart melt at the exchange in front of her. She always loved watching Elliot interact with kids.

"That's really cool, and you seem super nice. I think I've seen a picture of you before, but you weren't wearing a cape." Elliot laughs and lifts Noah onto his lap.

"Well, you might have, my names Elliot."

"Elwiot. Ellot. Elliot." He tries out the name a few times before nodding his approval. "I like your name, it's fun to say. Do you like his name mommy?" Olivia giggles and sits on the couch, wrapping her arms around her 2 favorite guys.

"Yes, I do!" She tickles Noah on the stomach and he giggles.

"Well thank you, Noah, I like your name too."

"Thank you, Elliot. Grandma said she did too. I like Grandma. She told me about a lady named Ellie, her name sounds like yours. She said that Ellie loved me very much. I saw a picture of her in Grandma's kitchen. She was pretty. Did you know her mommy?" Olivia looks at Elliot for support but both adults are at a loss for words.

"I uh..I.." Liv stammers and Elliot speaks up again, trying to think of a distraction.

"Do you like pictures, Noah? I have a little boy too. His name is Eli, and he's only a few years older than you. I can show you a picture if you want."

"Sure! Is he nice?" Olivia gives Elliot a grateful smile when she realizes Noah is successfully distracted.

"Yes he is, and he likes superheroes like you."

"Cool!" He takes a picture of him and his kids from his wallet. It's one of the last ones they had taken and he has to fight back a few tears.

"Wow!" Noah exclaims and Elliot laughs.

"Yep, I've got 5, 3 girls and 2 boys. That's Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth, Richard, and Eli. Elizabeth and Richard are twins and used to be called Lizzie and Dickie when they were little. And Eli is named after me, Elliot."

"They look happy. I wish I could have a brother or sister to play with. Mommy doesn't have one and Grandma doesn't either." The innocent comment makes Liv's heartache and Elliot squeezes her hand comfortingly. If it were up to him...Noah would have 5 siblings and 2 parents one day because they'd all be a family. He tries to communicate that to Liv with his eyes and she gives him a small smile as Noah studies the picture. "Can I meet them, mommy? They look so nice, and not like the mean kids at my preschool." Liv fights back tears and squeezes Elliot's hand harder; taking comfort in the support he's giving her and kisses Noah's head. She knew he didn't have many friends but didn't know people were mean to him. The thought made both hers and Elliot's hearts break.

"Yes you can sweetie, you'll get to on Christmas."

"Yay!" He reaches over and wraps his small arms around her neck in a hug before moving back onto Elliot's lap.

"I like Mr. Elliot too! Do we get to keep him?" Elliot chuckles and Olivia laughs through her tears. Both adults smiling widely.

"Well, I sure hope so." She looks over at Elliot and decides to play along. "Can we keep you, Mr. Elliot? Pretty please?" He pulls both mother and son into a hug and kisses the top of their heads.

"There's no place I'd rather be!" The loving, fatherly look in his eyes makes Liv's heart swell with affection and love him even more.

"Good. Mommy can we have ice cream for dinner?"

"For dinner? I think you've had enough of that today silly goose, but Uncle Sonny's bringing over some spaghetti."

"Yum! I like Uncle Sonny's food." Elliot looks confused.

"Uncle Sonny?"

"Detective Carisi, you probably met him yesterday. His family is originally from Italy so he has a lot of really good recipes. He's an amazing cook. I wanted you to have a home-cooked meal on your first official day home and...well you know I can't cook." He chuckles lightheartedly.

"Sounds great. Thank you, sweetheart." He gives her a quick peck on the lips when Noah isn't looking.

"Do you wanna see my room, Mr. Elliot? I have lots of toys. And books. I like it when mommy reads to me."

"Sure buddy." He smiles and takes Noah's hand. Liv sits back and watches them with a smile. This must be what it feels like to have a family. She thinks as she wipes a couple stray tears.

And it was the best feeling in the world.

A/N: Some sweet family fluff after last chapter's emotion. Next chapter is Christmas, where some things go great….others...not so much. Also since this might be my last update of 2017...HAPPY NEW YEAR!:D