9. A Whisper

"Have you reconsidered meeting Tristan?" she asked, much too bluntly.

"I don't… I don't know."

She nodded, mutely.

"Why don't you hate him? After everything…"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't people deserve a second chance sometimes?"

"I guess." He paused. "Do you want me to meet him, Mom?"

"I don't want you to skip out on the opportunity."

"He wants to weasel his way back into our family. It seems a little weird to me. After, what? Fifteen years, almost?"

"I'm struggling with that as well," she looked out the window.

A moment passed.

"This is big," he whispered. "All these years and I thought I'd never see him. Never talk to him. And now he's here. It all seems so… surreal. Like it might all go away. I got used to it just being us. You know?"

She nodded and squeezed his hand. "I think you should think about giving him a chance. If you don't want anything to do with him, I'll kick him out again and we can go on living our lives."

"I'll think about it."

"Promise?"

"Promise. I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too."

-

"Have you seen the television show, 'The Office'?" he asked her.

"No."

"You'd like it. I have the first season at my house; I could lend it to you."

"Maybe."

"I'm debating whether I should ask you what's wrong or if I should just keep talking about irrelevant shit."

She sighed. "I don't know, Tristan. I just have a lot of things on my mind."

He looked at her and took her hand. "I remember you being the one that would call me the best listener."

She moved her hand away from his. "I asked Rhett to think again about meeting you."

Tristan nodded.

She continued after his silence, "I can't help but question whether what I'm doing – bringing you back into our lives – is the right thing. He's just a boy. He's just gotten used to some things that are going on right now, and this is a very big change. On the other hand, he needs a father. Someone that can teach him things I can't. Yes, he has Jess, which is great, but you know Jess. He's not really a 'father' type. He writes morbid books, for Christ's sake. I don't really want Rhett growing up to be… Jess. And I know that's a horrible thing to say – God knows I love Jess with all my heart – but who really wishes their son to become a single 35 year old, creepy book-writer? I don't think you can find anyone like that. Jess's mom probably didn't even want him to turn out that way. But knowing Jess's past, she probably just wanted to see him graduate high school, and damn, once he did, she kind of just cut him out of her life completely. I mean, she still calls Luke once in a while, but I don't think I've ever really heard Jess talk about how he got a call from Liz. Oh wait! There was that one time where we were getting ready to go to Disney World, when Rhett was three, but that's way back when. I was still as fat as a cow – "

"Oh, please, you could never be fat."

"I would like you to believe that until the day you die, thank you."

He smiled. "Already done, babe."

She cocked her head at the nickname.

He noticed her hesitancy. "I'm sorry. That slipped out."

"Why are you doing this, really? Why now? Why is it so important?"

He narrowed his eyes, in thought.

"Is it just because you regret not being there for Rhett?"

"Yes, but it's more…"

"I want to know, Tristan."

A moment passed, and she assumed he was in thought, figuring out just why he was coming back into their lives.

What he was really doing was gathering the courage to speak the few words that he desperately needed to.

It must have been five minutes of her looking at him and him looking at his fidgeting hands.

"Well, if you don't know – " she started.

"You were the only girl I've ever loved," he interrupted. "I don't want to lose that feeling."

She looked at him curiously. "Lose what feeling?"

"That feeling of how you know that you just… belong. No matter what you say, or how you act, or what clothes you're wearing… You aren't going to be judged. You're going to be loved right back."

She was quiet.

"That was too forward. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"No, it's alright. Thank you."

He whispered, "For what?"

"Making me feel the same."

He nodded and she took his hand. They sat like that for a while.

"This scares me," she said in her quietest voice. She wasn't even sure that he heard her.

He nodded, and she knew now that she couldn't take it back anymore.

Another moment passed.

"Do you want to catch dinner next weekend? With me?"

She looked down. "I don't even know if Rhett… What if he can't handle it?"

He cleared his throat. "Forget it. I'm sorry. It's alright. I shouldn't have."

A tear fell down her cheek. "I should hate you," she whispered. "After everything you've done to me. Making me feel hopeless, helpless, angst-y, frustrated, any horrible feeling in the book, you've made me since you left. Why don't I hate you?"

He didn't answer.

"Maybe a part of me hasn't… given up yet? Maybe this is what I was hoping would happen. Sub-consciously. I don't… I don't know how… I can trust you again." She swallowed.

He paused, but then said slowly, stumbling over his words, "There really… isn't… any way this could be easier. But all I'm asking is for you to have faith in me. I'm dependable now. I'm ready. I… want to do this. I want… need you. And I want to be a part of Rhett's life."

"He's not going to forgive you. Not totally," Rory warned him.

"What about you?" he asked, in a low voice.

She looked down and closed her eyes. She shook her head, letting a few more tears drop.

His own eyes welled up with tears. "I'm really, really sorry, Rory. I don't know what I was doing. Why I did it. Everything was just piling up, all at once. I know that's no excuse, it's just… I was weak. I thought that this road looked better than the one I was on. But it wasn't. You have to believe me, Rory. I don't need to be scared anymore. I already know what's on the other side, and I don't like it. This is where I was supposed to be. Where I'm meant to be. I know that now. Please believe me. Please believe me. Please…" he was crying now.

She took his face in her hands. "I believe you. Can you give me time? Until I get home?"

He nodded his head.

"I just need… to sort out everything."

He nodded again and got up. He looked at her once more before exiting.

-

"I still love him," she told Jess the next day.

He nodded. "I figured you would."

"Spare me the 'I told you so's, please." She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes. No. Yes." She made her decision wearingly. "What do I do? What if Rhett doesn't want him to be in our lives? What happens? Do I give up? Meet him in private? What if Tristan doesn't want to be with me? What if – "

"You're killing yourself with these 'what if's. Factor Rhett out of the situation."

"But – "

"For now, I mean. Now," he paused and straightened up in the plastic chair by her bed. "Would you date him?"

She thought for a little bit. "I think I would need to take it slow. I don't know if I'm ready to take all of him back yet."

"You should have thought about that before you slept with him."

"God, Jess. Lay off."

"Sorry. That sounded more harsh than I meant it to be."

She nodded and looked down. "I feel like it's wrong. To want him. He makes me happy, Jess. He still compliments me so well. It's like…"

"You were meant to be," he finished.

She was quiet.

"I don't think it's wrong at all. Yes, he left you. Yes, he made you feel like shit for almost half of your life. But yes, he does regret it. He is truly sorry, Ror. I wish you could hear him talk about you. His whole face lights up. He's crazy about you."

"I don't want him to move too fast. I can't just pick up where we left off. I'm different now."

"He is, too," he added. "And he understands that you're probably not ready to jump right in. It's expected."

She paused. "What are you now, a therapist?"

He chuckled softly. "No, a matchmaker."

-

"Mom?" Rhett asked softly, to lull Rory out of her sleep.

Rory sighed. "Yeah?"

"I've decided that I want to meet him."

Rory cracked her eye. "Who?"

"Wake up, Mom. Tristan."

She sat up, suddenly.

"What?"

"Yeah. I want to meet him."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see what he's all about. I mean, if it's alright with you."

She rubbed her eyes. "Of course it's alright with me."

"I want to see what he looks like. What he acts like. I want to see why he holds this… this thing over you."

"What thing?"

"Like a spell, kind of…"

She bowed her head, knowing what he was talking about. "I'll call him and tell him. What, today's… Thursday? When do you want to see him?"

He paused for a moment. "Sunday?"

She smiled. "Okay, Rhett."

"Okay. I can tell you want to get back to sleep. Just keep reminding yourself that you get out tomorrow. Bye, Mom."

"Good night."

-

Tristan did what she asked him to do – he stayed away that night. Rory was thankful. She got a full night's rest, knowing that she didn't have to think about it anymore. It was up to Rhett if he accepted Tristan or not. Then Rory would make her decision.

Until Sunday, all she had to do was call Tristan.

"He wants to meet you."

"Really?"

"Yes. He's picked Sunday. Afternoon-ish. Is that alright with you?"

"Perfect."

"Okay. He'll see you then. I'll catch you later."

"Okay. And Rory?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think he'll like me?"

She paused. "Just be yourself. He'll like you."

"Okay."

"See you then, Tristan."

"See you then."

A/N: Okay, I know they're a little OOC, but oh well. Deal with it. I don't know if I can keep Rory mad at him still. I think that was cleared up in this chapter. She forgave him. But she's still going to be guarding her heart. Now, what is Rhett going to think of Tristan? Well, you'll just have to wait until the next chapter, now won't you? Review, please.