Wigs

—

Puck snorted, "Dude, that is the most ridiculous wig ever."

"Oh please, you know I look hot in it," Kurt sniffed, flipping his hair off his shoulder snidely. Then he burst into a smile, "I've never been able to do that before!" His best friend's laughter just caused him to roll his eyes as he said, "Whatever, I still look fine in this, right, 'Cedes?" Mercedes, in stereotypical fashion, gave an mmhmm and slapped him five, both of them snapping as they pulled their hands back.

"Kurt...you realize you're white, right?"

"Yes, and definitely a very good blonde," he added, studying his face in the compact he had just pulled out of the bag. At Noah's scoffing, Kurt insisted, "It's hot."

—

Puck walked into Glee club to find Quinn bent over the piano, looking at some sheet music. Smirking, he watched her ass move with the taps of her foot, nice and round and plain delicious. He quietly walked over to see her, standing right behind her as he put his hands on her hips, feeling her stiffen slightly in shock.

"So, you ready for babysitting, baby?"

"…Noah if this is your way of asking me to watch Sara while you and Quinn go off together, I think you could've been more subtle."

Eyes widening as he jumped back, Puck swore internally.

He was with Kurt. He was admiring his ass and his hips and just basically grinded into him.

Kurt turned around hesitantly, fingers curling the fake blonde hair. "I got here early and Mr. Schue told me to just go ahead and get ready—"

"Never happened."

Nodding fervently, Kurt agreed, "Never happened."

Puck ran a hand through his Mohawk as he quickly walked out of the choir room, finally letting his head fall back against the wall. Fuck, the whole hairography assignment was going to mess with his head, wasn't it?

—

Puck glared as Kurt and Quinn ran over the newest hairography dance moves together, laughing as Kurt barely managed to hold up Quinn with one hand like he was supposed to. "I honestly don't know why they put the smallest guy with the pregnant girl…no offense, but honestly Rachel would've been easier and better for me to hold," Kurt said after they ran the move so much Kurt was sure he could hold her in his sleep.

"Yeah, well, Man Hands will be getting a lift from you soon, won't she?" Quinn said slightly tersely.

Kurt nodded as they walked over to their bags for bottled water, Puck in the chairs behind the bags. "Of course, of course," Kurt insisted, "She'll get the full Kurt Hummel treatment. I cannot wait to pluck those eyebrows."

Quinn giggled softly as she opened her water, downing about half of it in a gulp. "I need to go now; make sure Finn remembered where he parked," she said with a roll of her eyes. After saying goodbye to Kurt, she turned to Puck and added, "Hey, Puck." She smiled at him, looking up at him through her eyelashes before grabbing her bag and walking out of the choir room.

"Thanks for staying after practice to run this!" Kurt called after her.

"No problem, just rock the project like we talked about!"

Kurt collapsed into the chair next to Puck, opening his water bottle and drinking from it. "Sorry you didn't get paired up with her, Noah."

Puck's eyes finally left the doorway Quinn walked out of, "What? No, it's fine, I'm not mad or anything."

"Yeah, that was just someone else waiting for a ride home from me with a glare in his eyes," Kurt said, rolling his eyes and standing back up. Offering a hand to Puck, he helped his best friend to his feet. "Don't worry, Noah; everything will work out perfectly fine. And at least you don't have to worry about some other guy getting hard while she has to hump him." Puck chuckled slightly as they grabbed their bags and walked out of the room, hand in intertwined hand as they searched for Kurt's car.

—

Normally, things that happened between Puck and Kurt never were avoided as topics of conversation, but every since that day when Puck mistook Kurt's ass for Quinn's, Puck hadn't brought it up since. It wasn't like they were avoiding each other or weren't friends anymore or anything like that, but he just felt like he couldn't talk to Kurt about it. And what was worse is that he really felt so lost about it; was Quinn not as special as he thought? Was Kurt's ass better than he thought?

Had it been that long since he had gotten action?

So yeah, it was a horrible idea, but when Santana sent that first message, talking about being wet and touching herself, Puck responded. Sexting some other girl up while he was supposed to be helping the girl he got pregnant watch over the three evil children she was babysitting may have been cruel, but he just needed that little boost, a reminder that despite what Quinn was doing, he could still make girls go crazy for him, a reminder that he was a horny beast, a reminder that an ass to fuck was just another ass to fuck, no other emotion besides love behind it.

But as Puck watched Quinn sing for the three redheaded demons of Hell, playing his guitar for her accompaniment, he smirked. How the fuck did he mistake her ass for Kurt's? True, there were some similarities and why the Hell the other boys gave Kurt the blonde wig was beyond him, but Quinn's ass was her ass, not Kurt's.

And when he got home that night, Quinn's ass was still on his mind. Could anyone blame him? She freaking bent over while she was singing; her ass was basically in his face for crying out loud. And it's not like she let him even kiss her anymore.

So, ignoring Sara's blaring of some Britney Spears album from her room (honestly, Kurt needed to stop spoiling her by buying things like that), Puck let his eyes drift close as his hand went lower until it finally reached his cock. Stroking lightly, he imagined Quinn spinning around and dancing, her blonde hair whipping around her head, only her full, pink lips occasionally seen around her hair.

Letting his inner eye take over, he watched her go down to her knees, her hair over her face, like that hairography they were doing in Glee club, her lips visible as she took him in, tongue swirling along the head and the underside of his shaft. But before he could thrust into the hot, wet cavern of Quinn's mouth, the scene changed to the empty choir room, Quinn leaning forward onto the piano.

Puck smirked as he held the base of his erection; this was about to get good. He wanted to try sex in public many times but never had a chance. God his inner eye was a fucking bad ass. Her hips seemed smaller, his mind seeming to have decided to go the pre-pregnancy route, which he appreciated just as much, especially when he imagined that wonderful ass back in her Cheerios uniform.

Her hair still down and swept all over the place, Puck imagined himself saying, "Someone's a naughty, little Cheerio, letting her hair hang down. Guess I gotta punish you for it." Her head just nodded slightly as she lowered the skirt down to reveal her beautiful, pale ass, sticking it out further.

Puck chuckled and pulled back his hand and letting it slap against her skin, her body jerking forward as a slightly pink handprint could be made out on her skin. He smirked and smacked her again, the skin turning even pinker. Again, again, and again, moans started leaving her mouth as Puck spanked her.

After several slaps—Puck lost count of how many—he pulled his hand back. "You nice and wet, baby?" he whispered in her ear. She nodded quickly and pushed her ass back. "Wait, do you want me to fuck you there? Have your tight little ass filled with my cock? That's what you want?" She nodded quickly, a small whimper escaping her throat. Puck smirked, "Well, Princess, let's get started."

From his limited experience of actually having anal and his large experience of watching porn, Puck knew the importance of stretching and all that shit, but, c'mon, fantasy time, he wasn't going to take time for that when he could imagine just being inside her already. So there he was, Quinn bent over the piano with his cock inside her tight little ass, her hips pushing back, begging for more.

Grabbing her hips, he said harshly, "I'm going to fuck your tight little virgin ass, make you come from my big cock filling you up like the bad little Cheerio you are." She moaned a high pitch noise and the fantasy Puck started thrusting, the real Puck tightening his hand to imitate the feel of her ass as he stroked.

As he continued to thrust, he noticed the front of her skirt was still up so, in one fell swoop, he pulled her skirt down to her knees, eyeing the wet spot in the spanx part of it as it fell. "Oh God, baby, nice and wet for me? God you're so hot, want some help with that?"

"Y-yes," she said, talking for the first time in the fantasy. Puck frowned; that didn't sound like Quinn. But keeping his deal, he reached down for her clit—Oh, God, that wasn't a pussy there, oh God, no it couldn't be—

Grabbing the person's hair, he felt it move slightly, obviously a wig, but the guy turned around anyways. The wig was still on and his normally pale skin was brushed with a light flush as his mouth hung open slightly as he panted, but it was as clear as day.

Kurt.

But Puck didn't stop it. He just figured it was a fantasy about a friend; nothing wrong with that, right? Hell, he checked out and thought of Mercedes' rack every now and then and they were definitely just friends. All he needed to do was come and then he wouldn't have to think about it ever again.

"Harder, Noah, please, please, touch me," Kurt moaned, pushing back his hips to meet every single thrust Puck made. Puck obliged, moving his hips fast—so fast he was sure if it was real life that the piano would break in half—and moving a hand to Kurt's leaking cock, stroking it very much like how he was stroking his own outside of his fantasy. Kurt's moans getting breathier as Puck thrust into him.

Then, without any warning, Kurt's back arched, his body tensed, and he let out a high scream of Puck's name as ropes of semen shot out of his cock and onto Puck's hand. Without a second thought, Puck brought his hand to Kurt's lips, Kurt eagerly licking and sucking away his own come, the real Puck imitating that with his own hand in his mouth, then using his wet hand to pull at his pierced nipple.

A final tug to his piercing and he was gone, semen shooting onto his torso as he moaned loudly. Fuck, that was hot.

…Fuck, that was Kurt.

Puck groaned and wiped his come covered hand on his sheets, his thoughts trying to work out how he was supposed to feel about fantasizing about his best friend letting him fuck his ass.

Well, he was pan and stuff, right? So fantasizing about a guy was okay, totally. And just because the guy happened to be his best friend, that meant nothing, and it was just because his and Quinn's asses were so similar, right? And his conscious was just messed up from the choir room incident with Kurt earlier that week and sexting Santana. That was it. He was mixing Kurt and Quinn, the two most important teens in his life, and Santana up. That was all. No reason to feel weird about anything.

But when Kurt texted him a few minutes later, Puck held onto the phone for several minutes before ignoring the message.

He just needed sleep, obviously, even if he didn't go to bed until hours after that.

—

Kurt had never been fond of Rachel, her know-it-all attitude and arrogance grating his nerves, but after she had dated Puck, his ability to spend time with her went down, even though they had broken up. So when she said she liked Finn, Kurt's whole brain exploded as his face didn't move. But he was reminded of a certain mantra Puck had developed when he had started going after Quinn, a mantra reminding himself that he had to go after what he wanted in his life or else he would never get it.

So he wasn't surprised when Rachel came up to him on Monday morning, pissed that he had sabotaged the makeover, yelling that he had set him up. It was kind of funny, how she started their little scene; if Kurt had believed her to be cool enough to bring a weapon to school, he could totally see a full on version of "Cell Block Tango" happening in her future.

"I thought we were friends," she whispered harshly.

"And what made you think that?" Kurt fired back. Honestly, he had never been nice to her before and yet she thought he was a "friend"? Yeah right. "You should be thanking me; all I did was make you realize that your school girl dream of running off with Finn was nothing but a fairy tale."

Then Rachel looked at him with realization, a realization that scared him.

"You like him," she said, not a question, but an accusation. Kurt felt his face drop. "Yes, that's what this is and you were just trying to eliminate the competition."

Kurt could feel every muscle tense in his body. "I was just trying to make him understand that you are not a viable second choice," he replied, walking away in hopes he would be gone before she could say anything else.

"You think I'm a second choice?" She asked, angry tears caught in her voice as she marched after him.

"A distant second," Kurt said disdainfully, turning back around to face her.

"You think I'm living in fairy tale?" She asked. "Even if I was second or fiftieth, I'd still be ahead of you because I'm a girl."

There they were; the words that rung true, even to the deepest part of Kurt's denial lodged brain. The words that kept him up at night and ruined all potential romances. He took a deep breath and tried to talk to her in a way that would hurt her heart as much as her words hurt his. "Okay, here's the dope, Princess," he began softly (he had been spending way too much time with Puck, it seemed), "None of us has a chance. We're nothing but distractions. The sooner we realize it…the better." With that he walked off, putting the mask of no emotions back on as he walked down the halls.

Rachel watched him go down the hall until she managed to pull herself together and walk off to her next class. And to think she thought that the only competition for a guy's attention they'd ever have was when she dated Puck. Obviously her assumption that they liked each other was completely off base.

—

Puck watched as Quinn and Kurt ran their choreography one more time before the deaf choir could get there (but seriously why the fuck was there a deaf choir?). Seeing Kurt successfully hold up Quinn with a beam made him smile and whoop in the corner, the rest of ND laughing along with him (they'd all been concerned if he would be able to pull it off as well).

Then they did the not so subtle humping motion. Quinn's hair and the blonde wig flying all over the place as Puck had the perfect view of Kurt's ass as Quinn thrust in and out of Kurt's body, his ass tensing beautifully as he held up her squirming body.

Fuck, if that didn't give him mental images to mule over…

—

Quinn marched over to Puck and took out his phone, ignoring Puck's greeting and warning about looking at his texts (as well as the hot chick he was chatting up right there). Shit, Quinn knew. And what was he supposed to do? Admit that he was struggling because his best friend's ass was turning him on and he was confusing a guy's ass for hers? Yeah, that wouldn't go over well.

It was time to play the part he did best: the Jerk.

"You lied to me."

"I'm sorry," Puck said, playing the jerk bit up. "I tried to resist Santana but I'm young and girls have this control over me. But, hey, it's all good."

"It's definitely not 'all good'," Quinn replied angrily.

"I do, like a lot," he exclaimed, Quinn looking doubtful. "But you haven't given it up to me since the night I knocked you up," now here came the part that everyone thought was his only waking though, "I'm a dude; I have needs."

"You expect to raise a baby with me and text dirty messages to every other girl at this school if I don't 'give it up' to you daily?" She asked, tears obviously on the verge.

"No…just the hot girls," he said. And maybe there was actually truth to this; maybe he wasn't meant to be in a steady relationship. God knows he never had a real steady one before that didn't have fucking someone else on the side. "Look, I'm going to be a good dad, but I'm not going to stop being me to do it," he explained, fully serious, not playing the part everyone in Lima saw him as.

Quinn stared at him in disbelief for several moments before collecting herself, "I now exactly where she belongs, and it's definitely not with you."

Puck watched her walk away, his defenses down. Why did he have to push away the people he loved? First Kurt, now Quinn…Taking a deep breath through his nose, he put his Lima Loser mask back on, walking aimlessly, glaring down some freshman losers.

He didn't realize he was on his way to Kurt's locker until he was standing besides him. "Quinn's giving her up," he whispered.

Kurt looked up at him with wide eyes, grasping his hand. "Rachel knows I like Finn and sabotaged the makeover on purpose." They both looked at each other sadly before lightly squeezing the other's hand at the same time, laughing slightly at the simultaneous reaction before Puck finally pulled Kurt into a hug, both closing their eyes tight for a moment to revel in the contact.

They pulled away from each other but kept the arms closest to each other on the other's back, Puck teasing Kurt about his choice of bag for the day (seriously, why did the kid own a brief case?) as they walked down the hall. When they reached an intersection of the hallways, they saw Finn and Quinn hug and walk off together, both smiling, their arms around each other's waists. Sensing eyes on him, Kurt turned around and saw Rachel. After a small moment, she gave him a small smile and a half-wave. Kurt returned the wave but not the smile before taking an equally hurting Puck down the hall with him, both avoiding talking about the subject at hand.

—

"I'm so glad the hair wigs are done with," Puck said that Friday at Kurt's house. "They were starting to mess with my mind."

"What, you mean after you thought I was Quinn in the choir room and you had an existential crisis?" Puck gaped at Kurt who just scoffed, "Please, you were obvious from a mile away."

"So you aren't like…offended by it?"

"I warned you that I looked hot in it," he teased. After Kurt stopped laughing, he shrugged, "I'm very feminine, not much can change that." Then he sighed and Puck pat his leg, knowing he was thinking about how he still wasn't feminine enough for Finn. "But you realize you were just projecting her onto me, it doesn't mean anything, right? It's not like you're physically attracted to me. I mean, if you were, it doesn't mean anything, it just means you have taste in men, but you aren't, right?"

Puck looked at Kurt for a few moments, wondering how he should answer the question. On one hand, Kurt's ass was fucking boner worthy. On the other, he was his best friend and he was in love with Quinn. So this whole attraction to Kurt? It meant nothing.

"Of course not."

—

A/N: Hey, guys, I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks again to Erika, Sevvy101, for being there on skype when I need someone to bounce ideas off of. You're the best, wifey.

And remember, reviews are love and literally the best inspiration I could ever have.

Love,
xLessxThanx3x