#21
Dear Michi,
Today I looked through some old photo albums. Most of them were of our family on vacation and Christmas and stuff. They enraged me, so I ripped each picture out violently, tore them up, and shat on the scraps. I did this to every picture in all 76 photo albums. Then I came across an album that was in the back of the book case where no one could see it. I took it out and looked through it, only to find dozens and dozens of porno snapshots of my parents.
I haven't slept, eaten, or left my room since. 0.0

Sincerely,
Light
---

#22
Dear Spirit,
I went to prom only once, with some poor stupid girl who asked me. I was all confused, so I went out and bought a pink fluffy dress. I brought it home and modeled it for my mom. She kicked me in the teeth and took my pretty dress away from me. After that, I didn't want to go to prom if I couldn't wear my dress, so I called the stupid girl and told her I couldn't go because I had to wash my hair.
Then I fell asleep for three weeks.

heart,
Light
---

#23
Dear Michi,
Last week, when I told L about my only prom experience, he made his body limp and fell to the floor in a slump. He then went into a long rant about how he never went to prom, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, never been laid, and so on. I sipped tea as he told me these things, and thought about making those nevers into firsts. Instead, though, I decided to pee on him because the bathroom was 12 feet away.

heart,
Light
---

#24
Dear Spirit,
I remembered how L has never been to prom, been kissed/laid etc, and decided to do something special for him. So I bought two dresses, put them both on, and began dancing around to stripper music. Then I realized I forgot to invite L. I picked up my skirts and ran through the headquarters looking for him, but unfortunately I ran right into a hanging plant and was knocked unconscious.

heart,
Light
---

#25
Dear Spirit,
Last week I was walking through the mall chewing on a tire that I ripped off Watari's car on the way. There was a security guard looking at me oddly, so I offered him some tire. As I did this, all the stuff I had shoplifted fell out of my shirt. I barked like a dog, and accidentally soiled my trousers.
Then I went to prison.

heart,
Light
---

#26
Dear Spirit,
BERRIES AND CREAM, BERRIES AND CREAM, I'M A LITTLE LAD WHO LOVES BERRIES AND CREAM!

heart,
Light
---

#27
Dear Michi,
One night, when L and I had a spectacular slumber party, we decided to go cow tipping. Of course, I, being the city-tard that I am, had never heard of cow tipping. So I brought along a bucket of pure bleach just in case. When we got out to the field, L went up to a cow, pushed it over and ran for it. The cow started to squirm, and I thought it was gonna chase after L. Fascinated at the thought of a personal bull-running show, I sat down and started eating the pure bleach with my hand. It made my hand foam up like when you put salt on snails, and I'm pretty sure it did the same to my insides.

heart,
Light
---

#28
Dear Spirit,
I deal with stress much like dogs; by losing control of my bladder every five seconds. And by binge eating cleaning products.

-Light
---

#29
Dear Michi,
One time, I was walking down the street, and I decided to pick my nose. Then a strange, creepy man walked up to me in a large trench coat and offered me some "candy" for $500. Delighted, I accepted the offer, but since I didn't have any cash on me at the time, I paid the man in pocket lint. He wasn't happy. In fact, he came at me with a chainsaw. Later on, I ate some of the candy. It was amazing! It made me see fairy tale creatures, including L in a princess tutu.
Then I fell off a cliff.

heart,
Light
---

#30
Dear Michi,
One Christmas, I wrote Santa a letter. In it, I asked for a pony, dish soap, and a uterus.
I only received the dish soap.

heart,
Light