Interlude One: Bad Reputation
"I can't believe I'm not on the Glist," Kurt repeated for the tenth time in Puck's presence.
Puck merely reached over and pinched his nose, "That's because you're too cute to be on such a mean ol' Glist."
"Stop that," Kurt glared, smacking his hand away. "Why am I not on there? I'm gay, doesn't that make me a sexual deviant by nature to anyone making that Glist?"
"Yeah, but you, like, exude innocence: pure white skin, no boyfriend, no sexual innuendos, doe eyes at Finn instead of bedroom eyes…" Puck trailed off with a shrug. "You're just as innocent as a Bambi, even with Glist Offender Number Two as your friend."
Kurt was in despair. "I'm a kid's show character. I'm PG—no, I'm not even PG, I'm freaking G. Fun for the whole family. I might as well be a puppy or a puppet. A Muppet. A Muppet Baby!"
"Hey, chill, dude, it's all good," Noah said calmly. "It's not a big deal. And if you want to be on it so bad, you can find ways to get less innocent. Dress sluttier or grind against a guy in the next Cheerios routine, cause some sort of disruption; it's not that hard."
Kurt's eyes widened as a thought formed in his head. Oh yeah, this would work. "Thanks, Noah. I have an idea."
—
"Kurt, what are you wearing?"
Kurt looked down at his outfit with a sheepish grin, the bright colors and MC Hammer pants totally not his normal look. "My fellow Muppet Babies and I," he gestured to Artie, Tina, Mercedes, and Brittany behind him, "Are performing a disruption in the library, guaranteeing us spots on the Glist."
Puck raised an eyebrow as the group looked at each other in encouragement and agreement. "So…are you having an orgy…that somehow involves big, silk diapers?"
"We're doing a musical number in the library," Artie said excitedly, "We really think it'll improve our rep."
Noah stared at them for a while, at all of their excited faces and ridiculous outfits. Then all at once he burst into laughter, having to lean against his locker for support as laughter ripped through his body. "You think…you all think…" he couldn't even finish the statement, involuntarily bending over in laughter at their shocked expressions.
Kurt pursed his lips at his best friend before giving the quiet command, "Let's go." They turned around and headed on their way, Puck not even noticing as he continued to laugh at their idea of what was Glist worthy.
—
"So how did your dance number go?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Come on, I'm sure you totally made the cool kids who hang out in the library feel totally lame in comparison."
"Shut up, Noah—"
"Sore subject? Maybe you should tell me I can't touch it?"
"Oh my God…"
"Ner ner ner nerrrr ner ner ner ner CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"
"Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me!"
"…Not fair."
"Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married—just you wait and see!"
"…Let's forget this week ever happened?"
"It's already exed out of my calendar."
—
A/N: This little interludes are for episodes I want to write about but don't flow well enough with another episode but are too short to be considered a "real" chapter. So just a fun little piece so I can feel ready to move on to the next chapter.
Love,
xLessxThanx3x