#51
Dear Spirit,
Last night, I had a dream.
It involved me, L, whipped cream, handcuffs, gags, chocolate sauce, many restraints, a whip, and a cherry.
I think I've been watching too much gay porn.

3 Light
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#52 (continued from #44)
Dear Spirit,
When Dodo, the lion, the scarecrow, the tin man and I got to the Dingy Brown City, we immediately went to see the Wizard of XD.
When we got in to see him, he asked us what we wanted.
"Dodo and I want to go home," I said.
"I want to be less OCD," the lion said. He was still walking up to the throne.
"I want the house and kids," said the tin man.
"I want an endless supply of crack," said the scarecrow.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCHES." said the Wizard of XD. Suddenly, I found myself in Southeast Asia, waist-deep in a pit of tar.
Luckily I had an explosive diarrhea incident, which blew away all the tar, and I was able to hitchhike home.

3 Light
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#53
DEAR MICHI,
One time, L ate all the food at headquarters, so he forced me to go grocery shopping or else he would deflower my rose. I don't know what that means, but I didn't wanna find out, so I left. At the store, I bought some grapes. I brought them home to L, and he told me they looked like my grapes. Then he ate them. I didn't like this comment he made about me, so I made T-eyes at him.
Then I ate him. Whole.

3 Light
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#54
Dear Michi,
When I was a little boy, I asked my mom where babies come from. Then she ripped my ear off. I don't know why. So I went and asked my dad. He said "SHUT THE F UP, SON, AND EAT YOUR PEAS." Now I am forced to assume that babies come from toasters.

3 Light
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#55
Dear Spirit,
Once I was taking a walk through southern Vietnam. As I was walking, I came across an unexploded bomb. So I shoved it up my strike ass /strike shirt to take home as a souvanier. Then a guerilla warrior leapt out of the bushes, called me a socialist bastard, and shot me several times in the legs, neck, and face.
So I peed everywhere and left.

3 Light
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#56
Dear Michi,
A few weeks ago, I was talking with L. We were discussing things of our past. He asked me what I had always wanted to be when I was little, and of course I told him I wanted to be a prostate examiner. You should have seen the look on his face when I asked him if he would let me test my skills on him.

3 Light
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#57
Dear Michi,
One day, I randomly felt like researching the local wildlife. And by wildlife, I mean other strange children. I happened upon a boy, in his mid teens, who was chewing on a stick one afternoon. I watched him frm afar for a few days. After every meal, he always snacked on a stick.
There was one time that he forgot to have lunch, however, and ate an entire tree, 0.0 I was amazed.
After watching the strange lad for nearly a week, I compiled all my data into one notepad, took the first and last letters from every word, scrambled them up into new letters, and was able to come up with this:
Y HALLO THUR CHILD I WANT YOUR BODY!!!1
-YOUR SECRET RESEARCHER
I sent it to him in a letter the next day.

3 Light
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#58
Dear Michi,
One time, I went out to dinner with my family at a Spanish restaurant. I had a dish that looked like someone shit on my plate. It was actually really tasty. Of course, when I tried to make it at home, it just tasted like my shit (because it was). I lived on nothing but Arm & Hammer for a week.

3 Light
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#59
Dear Spirit,
I encountered the Wizard of XD once more, when I walked into an ice cream parlor on a particularly hot day in December. He was sitting at the bar, sipping something orange that was no doubt laced with narcotics.
"WIZARD," I cried, clutching his arm desperately, "I HAVE FOUND YOU AGAIN!"
"Da fuck?" he said. "I'm just a bus driver." I clutched his arm harder.
"You're the Wizard! The Wizard of XD!" I cried.
"You're on crack," he said. I clutched his arm so hard the bone snapped in half.
Then I spotted the real Wizard of XD in the man's drink, and I realized that I really did have the wrong guy. So I ripped his nose off and left.

3 Light
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#60
DEAR Spirit,
Yesturday, my mom baked a pie. I had a slice, and thought it could use a certain something extra. So I injected it with rat poison, bleach, and pig urine. That night, my entire family had explosive diarrhea, so I ate an entire box of laxatives, and joined them.

3 Light