(Kurt and Puck are) Caught in a Bad Romance

"Step…one more," Carole instructed to Finn, his eyes closed as she led him to the surprise.

"Is there a car down here for me?"

"Honey, we're indoors."

"Oh."

"And…open your eyes!"

Finn opened his eyes with excitement that fell almost instantly at the sight around him. A Welcome Home banner was displayed on the wall in front of him in a really clean, organized room that, if not for the small bed, would be unrecognizable as a bedroom. Burt held his hands together with a huge smile on his face and Kurt held out a glass, offering, "Sparkling cider?"

Finn walked over to Kurt despite the creepy look he was giving him (the look he always gave him) and took the glass. "Welcome home? But who went somewhere?"

Carole hugged Burt and explained, "Burt asked us to move in with him!"

"And this is how you're telling me?" Finn asked, genuinely upset. He hated surprises like this, like when his mom just randomly told him he was dating Burt in the first place. He just wanted to go home after glee club and play some video games since killing zombies was about the only thing that didn't screw with his head everyday (unlike his relationship with Rachel, his mom's relationship with Burt, or the relationship Kurt wanted with him). Why were they doing this to him?

"The party was my idea. If you're going to say something, say it loud, right?" Kurt said, all of it suddenly making sense to Finn. Of course it was Kurt's doing. Kurt was the one who got them together in the first place. Kurt was the one turning his life upside-down, all while looking at him with those big eyes like he was about ready to declare his love for him.

It all made him super uncomfortable.

"It's going to take some getting used to, but you're going to love it. Now you won't have to drag your tail over here to watch a game on the 55 incher," Burt laughed. And Finn had to admit that was nice, but his eyes went back to Kurt, who looked broken again for just a split second but then back to normal.

Then Burt tried offering him a food in some weird language from some foreign country, his mom trying to get him to take it, too. Only Kurt seemed to know what it was and that just pissed him off more. Why did everything they plan somehow get back to Kurt? People like Burt didn't know about foreign foods past spaghetti or held parties with appetizers like that. Why did Kurt take everything normal and just make it…not normal?

Carole gave him that hopeful smile and added, "Finn, this house is twice the size of ours; it has two bathrooms!"

"Two and a half," Burt corrected, much to Carole's amazement and delight.

"I don't want an extra bathroom or whatever, I want my house back."

"I think I know what this resistance is about," Kurt said. Kurt did know what it was about; maybe he would speak up and tell them about how he was around Finn. "It's our room." Finn couldn't hear anything he said after the words our room. They were sharing? Did they not realize how wrong that was? Did they not see how Kurt looked at him?

"Wait, we're sharing a room? I'm not cool with that!" All of this was going so fast, another room being added as a promise to him, money being thrown at him and then taken by Kurt, jokes about playing games, and then he was thrown off by another voice speaking behind him.

"I guess I'm late for the party?" Kurt looked over at the stairs, surprise on his face.

"Noah, what are you doing here?"

Finn's jaw tensed even more as he turned around to find Puck standing there, "I am not sharing a room with him."

"Dude, I'm not moving in," Puck said, holding his hands up in surrender as Kurt walked over to him. "I'm just here because Kurt was going to help me with my English project and I was going to help him do some math. I guess I got here early."

"I told you six thirty," Kurt said in a hushed whisper, "I told you he'd be here now."

"Yeah, but I forgot. Quinn kicked me out of the house because she's in one of her moods," Puck whispered back, all of it still audible to the rest of the room.

Burt spoke up again as Finn tensed up, "Finn, I know you and Noah have a bad past but Noah's sorry for what he did and that's all he anyone can do about the past. Now I know you have a lot to get used to with this new living arrangement, but Noah is Kurt's best friend and he's over here a lot, at least once a week, and he's like a son to me. So could you please try to forgive him?"

Finn frowned and looked over at Puck and Kurt. Puck looked down sheepishly while Kurt held his hand and stared up at him. It was kind of nice to have someone there who Kurt looked at like how he looked at him, it took the pressure off and didn't make him feel so uncomfortable. Maybe Kurt just looked at everyone like that and he didn't notice? Either way, having some attention from Kurt off of him was nice. He nodded, "Yeah, sure. I can try."

—

Kurt gave Puck one of his looks after he suggested Tina try the Catholic schoolgirl look, "Not helpful." He wasn't on Puck's lap that day but he was sitting next to him, his knee pressed against Puck's, his head up, even though earlier it was resting on his shoulder.

Puck gave him a look back, "At least I suggested something involving clothes." As Kurt intensified his "look", Puck poked at his side, causing Kurt to let out a squeal of laughter. He covered his mouth with a horrified expression, thankful that Rachel had just stormed in and distracted anyone from reacting to that.

"I've been doing some background on Vocal Adrenaline—"

"Isn't that against the rules?" Artie asked.

"No! I mean, I don't know, probably. Anyways, we have a big problem." She hurriedly said, "I checked their dumpsters and they were full of eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights."

Tina's eyes widened in recognition first, "Oh no."

"So then I went to the fabric store and I asked them about red Chantilly lace and they were all sold out!"

Mercedes got it next, "Oh sweet Jesus."

"Oh my," Kurt followed right after, his face pale.

"I-I don't get it, what?" Mr. Schue asked, Puck looking at Kurt in confusion.

"They're doing Gaga," Kurt said simply.

Mercedes shook her head as the rest of the girls sighed in defeat, "That's it, we're over."

"Exactly!" Rachel exclaimed.

"We should've guessed it, they're going for full out theatricality; they know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them!" Kurt said, tensing a fist.

Puck rubbed a hand on Kurt's shoulder, trying to comfort him, "What's special about that Gaga dude? He just dresses weird like Bowie, right?"

"Lady Gaga is a woman!" Kurt yelled at him, Puck immediately retracting his hand. "And the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's the most boundary pushing, theatrical performer of our generation." Puck gave him a blank look so he added, "And she changes her look more than Britt change's sexual partners."

"It's true," Brittany nodded.

"It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage to her, she's a perfect fit for them," Artie added, Rachel nodding furiously.

Mr. Schue looked at them with his I have an idea face. "No, guys, I think we can kill two birds with one stone. We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for Regionals." Kurt perked up, unable to believe where Mr. Schue was going with his thoughts. "This week, your assignment is…Gaga."

Kurt and the girls all cheered as the boys all sighed and rolled their eyes and groaned. Even Artie had trouble looking happy for his girlfriend and Puck wasn't hiding his dislike from his best friend. He was not looking forward to this week one bit.

—

Puck and Finn sat awkwardly in Kurt's room—Kurt and Finn's room—as Kurt was upstairs getting some drinks. Finn kept clenching and unclenching his fists as he sat on his bed. He never got to be alone anymore, he was always with Kurt or, even worse, Kurt and Puck. But now it was just the two of them and it wasn't just awkward, it was literally painful.

"So…I'm glad you got Mr. Schue to let us do KISS. Pretty kick ass," Puck said awkwardly. Finn nodded and the room was filled with silence yet again. "I mean, Kurt's my best friend, but I didn't really want to wear anything Gaga wears. She kind of freaks me out." Finn nodded again but didn't say anything else. Couldn't he just be left to wallow in misery alone?

"Sorry I took so long!" Kurt called from the stairs. "I thought I'd add some hors d'oeuvres." He set down a tray on the table and Finn looked up, expecting some normal food on there, but was disappointed.

Puck, however, said, "Dude, are those the mini-quiche?"

"Of course."

"Score!" He jumped up and grabbed one of the plates Kurt brought down and shoved some quiche onto his plate.

"Don't you want some, Finn?"

"Dude, seriously, this stuff is cheese and bacon!" Puck exclaimed, shoving two into his mouth.

Finn shook his head, "No, I'm not hungry."

Kurt frowned, "Okay. Here's your drink then." He handed Finn a fancy little mug with pink flowers drawn on it and a little saucer underneath it. "I know yours is just Coke, but it's kind of a tradition to use these with the hors d'oeuvres tray. Old summer tea parties and such from our childhood."

"Thanks," Finn muttered, glad that no one besides Puck was there to see him drink from it. Though Puck was sitting at the table, holding the saucer up properly and holding the cup daintily with his pinky out, much like Kurt returned to his seat to do.

Puck swirled his drink in his mouth before swallowing and asking, "Raspberry tea this time?"

"We were all out of the usual peach," Kurt shrugged, sipping at his cup, his legs crossed.

Finn gaped, "You're drinking tea? You?"

Puck looked at him like he was crazy, "What did you think 'the usual' meant? It's what we normally have around this time. Sometimes I don't want Coke, y'know?"

"It's something we've done since I've been old enough to use the stove to boil water," Kurt added. "You should try it sometime, it's very delicious, especially with milk or honey."

"Dude, pinky out," Puck reprimanded Finn, shaking his head with furrowed brows.

"I've trained you well," Kurt smiled.

"You've only been telling me since we were seven and used water in your plastic tea cups."

Finn watched them, his heart rate speeding into a panic. How did someone like Puck talk like that or hold a cup like that? Kurt really had trained him, just like he seemed to do that to Burt and was starting to do that to his mom. And that was something Finn did not want to have happen to him.

—

"But it's a total rockstar name!"

"You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She's a girl," Quinn said with a slam of her locker.

"Alright then, Jackie Daniels," Puck said simply.

"The name is not the point!" Quinn interrupted. "I told you this: I'm giving up the baby so I don't have to do this with you. This is good for you. Now you can go off and be a rockstar yourself."

Puck watched her go, doing his best to keep the cool, Puck the Bad Ass look on his face as thoughts of his dad filled his head. He finally stalked off to class, not noticing Tina and Kurt enter from the other side of the hall in full Gaga gear.

"I love this new look," Tina gushed. "Because even though I'm painfully shy and obsessed with death, I'm a very effervescent person!" Her smile dropped as Karofsky and Azimio shoved her and Kurt into the lockers. Normally she'd just ignore it and go about her day, but Kurt Hummel was not one to be messed with, at least not that day.

"Excuse me, what the hell is your problem?" Kurt yelled. The bullies turned around and Kurt continued, "Pick on me all you want, but don't hit a girl."

"We haven't been able to tell the difference," Azimio said. Kurt tensed up for a moment, one of his weak areas being taunted after all the drama with Finn and his father.

"You all dress all freaky and we have to stare at it all day. It makes my eyes tired," Karofsky complained.

"We have every right to express ourselves just like you guys can express yourselves by wearing your letterman jackets."

"Well, next time you feel like expressing yourself, don't be surprised if my FIST," he yelled the word, hitting the locker next to him. The resounding clang made Kurt and Tina jump as he continued, "All over your chin."

"Let's go," Karofsky said, a look in his eyes that Kurt couldn't recognize that actually terrified him.

But Kurt wasn't ready to back down. "Yeah, you don't wanna be late for your appointment at Super Cuts!"

"You watch your mouth, Hummel!"

"Oh, and Fancy, you don't need an appointment at Super Cuts; they love walk-ins," Karofsky mocked, obviously thinking his comeback was a stinger. Azimio laughed with him and they chest fived, which Kurt always found a lot more homoerotic than glee club ever was, but that obviously meant nothing to those Neanderthals.

Normally, Kurt would stalk off and talk to Noah to blow off some steam. But after finding out about all the crap Noah got just because they were friends, Kurt couldn't bring himself to do anything to him. So he walked off with Tina and made a point to sit next to Mercedes and away from Noah to avoid talking to him.

Now, the main issue with that was that they always sat together. The few times they hadn't were when they were fighting or when they were on the brink of fighting. Mercedes looked over at Artie, Tina, and Quinn when Kurt sat down at the end of the row next to her, but, while they looked apprehensive, they shrugged, completely helpless as what to say or do. Puck looked over at Kurt, hurt and confused, but Kurt mouthed from behind Mercedes she wants to talk. Puck nodded and smiled, turning back to the front of the room with a lot less concern on his mind.

Well, okay, the whole name thing was on his mind, and the fact that Quinn didn't take him seriously and wanted nothing to do with him. That was always on his mind. It didn't help that she looked ridiculously hot in her Gaga outfit. But at least Kurt chose some ridiculous get up with a Mozart wig that he would never find attractive. Thank God, because he really didn't need to deal with sexual frustration with Kurt on top of everything else.

He hadn't even realized that he yelled Kurt's name during the whole pegging with Santana thing until Santana told him after he made her come from his tongue. It was kind of a major buzz kill being told during post-coital that he had yelled out his best friend's name while being fucked by his ex girlfriend in a hookup, but she didn't seem offended at least. More amused…or maybe the word was bemused. Whatever. Either way, she didn't really care, but it sent Noah's mind spinning. But then he figured it was just because if he was going to take it up the ass from anyone, it was going to be Kurt. Guys were major douches a lot of times, he was a prime example of that, but Kurt wasn't. If he was going to be used in such a sensitive area by anyone, he wanted the guy to do it to be special and gentle and loving, like Kurt.

…Okay, he sounded like a complete girl, but whatever. While it made sense to him why he thought about Kurt, he was still weirded out that it happened at all. So the less amount of sexual appeal coming from Kurt, the better.

"Guys, let's head out to the auditorium so the girls and Kurt can show us what they've been working on," Mr. Schue said, clapping his hands together. The boys walked down the hall and sat in the middle so they wouldn't have to lift Artie down or up the stairs. Then, out of nowhere, Kurt started singing these gibberish words and the song started. Noah, still content with the lack of sexual appeal coming from Kurt, let his eyes focus on Quinn (and maybe wander to Santana and Brittany and Tina, too, 'cause, c'mon, look at those legs and boobs and asses). He was starting to really get into the number when Santana took over singing and Kurt laid himself out on the floor.

Oh…wow. Noah knew almost everything there was to know about Kurt, but he definitely had no idea that Kurt was that flexible. That was…fuck, some girls couldn't even do that, how did Kurt do that with a penis and everything?

Puck didn't clap very enthusiastically at the end of the number; goddamn it, that fucking sexual frustration was back.

—

"Wow, Rachel, looking good," Mercedes whistled as Rachel walked in with a new Gaga outfit, actually looking like something the singer had worn.

"Thanks! My mom made it," she said, smiling cutely.

Kurt's smile faded at that. For one, even though he and Rachel were not friends, he didn't want her getting hurt, and he doubted that this whole thing with her mom was going to work out with her. Second of all, the way she said it, like her whole life was brighter now that she had her mom in her life, that everything was easier with her there…it made Kurt jealous.

Now despite what people possibly thought about him, Kurt was not some damaged kid who was completely emotionally traumatized because of his mom's death. Yes, he had some idiosyncrasies from losing his mom at a young age, and yes, Mother's Day and her birthday and death date were hard days for him, but he wasn't some troubled teen who cried himself to sleep every night because of it. It was just every now and then he'd remember something about her and withdraw a bit, something people rarely noticed, sometimes even his dad not recognizing it. It never went into the next day, never made his dad worry, hell, it never made Noah worry, at least not enough to voice his thoughts, and that sure was saying something

So, no, Kurt wasn't a troubled momma's boy. But it still made him jealous to see someone who was in the same boat as him almost, the only other person he knew who understood what not having a mother was like smile and be happy because of a mother's touch in her life. He missed his mom whether he always showed it or not, and seeing Rachel giggling and smiling because of her newfound relationship with her mom made his jaw clench and another little green eyed monster of jealousy against Rachel pop up.

And, sure enough, a few seconds later he was shown the other main reason of jealousy he had against Rachel: Finn. Whether he liked it or not, Finn was going to chose Rachel over him, because, like she told him months earlier, she was a girl. Kurt would never be first in his heart; it took months and months, but he finally realized it.

And man did it hurt like hell to think about it.

So instead of focusing on Finn and his very seductive tongue work, Kurt let his eyes wander around the "band" members. Matt was surprisingly good at moving in the platforms, his KISS makeup making him barely recognizable. Artie kind of reminded him of that kid in Role Models; Kurt held back a laugh at that and had to look away to get control over himself as Puck and Artie took over Finn's job of singing (they sounded good on KISS, wow). Mike danced flawlessly despite the non-dance-i-ness of the song, lanky and cute in his leather outfit.

But then his eye was drawn back to Finn and he felt his heart flop again. His tongue was way too enticing—if a bit wider than Kurt expected. Kurt shook his head to clear the images forming in his mind and moved on to watching Noah since no one else was holding his attention.

Noah's arms were always his best feature physically and he was definitely working them in his outfit, each muscle flexed under his tan skin. His round lips were showcased in the red paint that he knew Quinn drew on him earlier that day and the high kicks and thrusts he did with his guitar…Kurt let out a loud whoop of a cheer soon followed by Noah sending him a wink. Kurt could feel himself blushing a bit, a goofy smile forming on his lips as he cheered again, his eyes definitely having no problem just staying on his best friend.

When the song stopped and they had to explain their looks, Kurt didn't even look over at Finn, just watching Puck and his arms and his lips. Another giggle left his mouth as Noah said, "But that doesn't really explain my whore lips."

Mercedes and Quinn smirked at each other knowingly as Kurt started giggling like a schoolgirl at Puck's little pout. Maybe Puck wasn't the only one on his way to figuring it out.

—

Kurt easily forgot his little fangirl moment with Noah's performance, simply chalking it up to him supporting his best friend. So when Tina asked what he thought about the number, he just said, "It was good, but the lyrics left something to be desired."

"Finn just kept sticking his tongue out and I imagined him licking stuff and it was disturbing," Tina quipped. Kurt smirked a bit at that; he definitely knew the feeling too well. Good thing he managed to stop staring at him mid-performance.

Karofsky and Azimio soon cut off his thoughts as they swooped in on him and Tina. He felt as if he had been hit with a bucket of ice, his whole body frozen with nothing to do but be pushed into the wall behind him.

Thankfully nothing really happened. One of his shoes lost a few of their sparkles and a bubble fell of Tina's dress, but the two bullies were called over Tina waving and saying "Principal Figgins" as if he was right behind them. They didn't even check to see if he was there before running off, leaving Kurt's heart racing.

When he finally managed to unfreeze himself, Kurt quietly said, "I'm sorry I didn't think of anything. Thanks, Tina." He had never been so angry and disappointed in himself before, letting his own friend get in a risky situation without stopping it.

"No problem," Tina said, "They were hurting me too, you know. It wasn't just your outfit I was saving." She smiled, hoping to get the same response from him. But Kurt just nodded and walked away, shoulders just the slightest bit slumped over.

—

Kurt's anger at himself and his situation was starting to make him angry at everyone else. It was something he always did unconsciously; he yelled at Puck so many times right after his mom died because he was just so angry and had no idea how to deal with it. Puck almost called off their whole friendship until Mae intervened, as Noah told him a few years down the road, and told Noah that his best friend wasn't really angry at him, just at everything else. That was when Puck taught Kurt the trick the guidance counselor at school made him do when he was upset: scream into and hit a pillow. Less than a year later, when Puck's dad left, Puck did the same thing back to Kurt. Thankfully, Kurt was able to withstand the anger and taught Puck the cool trick he had started learning from his mom's old work out tapes: meditation. Every now and then that bit of flame poked out and would potentially sting the other, but both boys were too firey themselves to let it knock them down for good.

The problem was that Finn wasn't aware of it. He didn't know—how could he really know, after all—that underneath the icy exterior Kurt had at school there was a whole lot of fire and venom.

The night started out normal. Kurt had some anger underneath the surface, but his words weren't laced with anymore venom than his usual snarks, "Can you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky not harassing me when I'm wearing my Gaga outfit?" He was working on fixing his shoe and hoping that they didn't corner him again.

"Are you serious?" Finn asked, trying to wipe off the KISS make up unsuccessfully. "Can't you ask Puck to do that? Isn't that what he does for you anyways?"

Kurt's jaw clenched. "He goes through enough just by being my friend. I don't ask him for things like this." Didn't Finn realize how much Kurt was putting his pride on the line just by asking for help?

Finn made a face, "Do you think I'm not getting crap from them? They already think we're boyfriends."

Kurt looked at Finn through the mirror the teen was at, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. Great, now Finn was starting to get hate for having to live with him when Finn didn't even want to. What would happen next, Carole picking up one of the anonymous hate calls? He blinked away the thoughts and said his motto, "Let them think what they want; they're Neanderthals. In three years they'll be cleaning my septic tank."

"Don't you get it?" Finn asked sharply. Kurt looked up at him, feeling cracks starting to form around the ice as the flames grew bigger, "We live in Ohio. This isn't New York or San Francisco or…some other place where people eat vegetables that aren't fried." Finn turned to face him so they wouldn't have to play the silly game of making eye contact through the mirror. "I just don't understand why you have to make such a huge spectacle of yourself," Finn continued, his hand gesturing to Kurt's Gaga outfit, "Why don't you work harder on blending in?"

Flames started to melt the small little cracks in the ice, licking up against the melting surface. "I'm sure that would be easier for you?"

"You know, it would," Finn said almost petulantly, turning back to the mirror, Kurt's mirror to finish taking off his make up—something Kurt definitely wasn't wearing. He was by no means more of a spectacle than Finn was at that moment. Kurt felt the flames start to peek out when he saw how much Finn was struggling with his make up removing process. The poor soul had to be losing tons of needed skin cells and the boy didn't moisturize at all, it had to hurt to take it off in such a horrible manner.

"You are such a boy," Kurt said with a loving sigh—purely platonic that time. He got out of his seat and marched over to the mirror, "You're going to need a moist towelette if you want that make up off." He pulled one out smoothly and went to the side of Finn's face to show him how it was done when his hand was knocked away.

"Get off of me!" Finn exclaimed, jumping out of the chair and looking at Kurt like he was some sort of predator.

"Jesus, Finn, what is your problem?" Kurt nearly yelled, the flames fully breaking through the ice as control of any "inappropriate" words leaving his mouth was lost. "It's just a moist towelette!"

Finn looked at Kurt in shock, definitely not expecting Kurt to actually raise his voice. Finally he looked back down at the floor in shame in shame. Kurt embraced the guilt coming off of him until he announced, "I'm going to finish changing upstairs." Without another word he started for the stairs.

Kurt felt every muscle tense, tiny little flames flickering over his skin, "Grow up, Finn!" His anger got the hold of him so much that, like Finn often did, he kicked a chair. But copying Finn's actions just made him angrier. He walked over to his bed and collapsed on it, screaming into the pillow. That incident would definitely not be solved by simple meditation.

—

"I still can't believe you're letting me skip school," Puck chuckled gleefully as he opened the trunk to Kurt's car.

"Yeah, yeah, but it's only because I want to finish the project and with you carrying down the boxes it'll go twice as fast," Kurt informed him, grabbing one of the smaller boxers as Puck grabbed two. "And, this goes without saying, but no telling Dad about this."

"Duh," Puck replied as they started heading into the house through the garage door.

Kurt playfully bumped into Puck and commented, "Nice job yesterday, by the way."

"I knew you liked my whore lips," Puck teased when suddenly they heard a throat clear.

They both turned around to find Carole Hudson at the dining room table, watching the boys with a raised eyebrow and a look of amusement. "H-hi, Mrs. Hudson," Puck started, looking down at the floor. He still felt awkward around her because of the whole Quinn thing.

"Hello, Carole, you look stunning today," Kurt said charmingly, ready to lay it on thick. "I didn't realize you'd be home."

"Apparently not," Carole said, "My shift doesn't start for a couple more hours; I'm meeting your dad for lunch first."

"That sounds great."

"But what I'm wondering is why you're here."

Kurt sighed, "I just figured I could work on the decorations for me and Finn's room so he could see it when he got back from school as a surprise. The move's been hard on him, after all."

"Does your dad know you're here?"

"No, and I'd prefer to keep it that way," Kurt replied.

Carole studied the two for a while longer before cracking into a smile, "I never saw anything."

Puck smiled and looked over at Kurt, his own smile growing as Kurt burst into a wide one. Kurt put down his box and went over to Carole, kissing her on the cheek, "Thank you so much."

"Mmm, yes, I know, now get to work," she said in a playfully commanding voice as she picked up her coffee mug and moved to the living room, right by where the basement door was. She busied herself with her crossword for a while, looking up every now and then to watch Puck and Kurt bring in boxes, playfully bumping into each other, until the rest of the work was reserved for the basement.

After an hour or so, Carole got up and made some tea, knowing it was something Kurt loved to drink, and made some grilled cheese sandwiches. When she was done, she went to the basement door and yelled down, "Kurt! Noah! I made you guys lunch."

There was a moment of silence from the basement but soon the boys ran up the stairs, each trying to get ahead of the other. They were neck-in-neck, Puck having the strength to push Kurt off to the side but Kurt having the smaller frame to run underneath his arm. Carole backed away, laughing as Kurt jumped on Puck's back, both boys laughing and giggling.

Puck managed to twist around enough to get Kurt off his back. He used the moment to get to the counter before Kurt, but Kurt ran up behind him and managed to grab him around the hips, lifting him up just a bit (he had muscles after all) and turning them so he was by the counter instead.

"Oh, that's how we're going to play?" Puck challenged playfully after Kurt put him down. He turned and grabbed Kurt by the waist, lifting him up higher than Kurt got Puck, Kurt kicking his legs as Puck brought him to the table, sitting him down. Both boys were still laughing as Carole brought over the sandwiches, shaking her head with an amused smile.

"Oh, Carole, thank you," Kurt said gratefully, Puck echoing his statement. "You know how boys are; Noah would've been begging for food any minute."

"Hey!" Noah turned to Carole and told her, "He forgets that since he finally hit puberty, he's in the same boat as me."

"Shut up!" Kurt shot back, gently kicking Noah's leg. Carole just laughed and asked if they'd like some tea, both of them responding positively automatically.

She brought over the teapot and mugs, "I hope chai's okay."

Kurt perked up, "I love Chai. And this way we'll have some caffeine, too!"

"Chai's one of my favorites," Carole admitted, pouring out a cup for each of them. "It's okay I used this pot and china, right?"

"Of course," Kurt said with a wave of his hand. "It's your house, too."

Carole was happy that Kurt accepted her as a part of the family. She sat down and stirred her tea, waiting for it to cool. "So, how's the room going?"

"It's fabulous! I'm so excited for Finn to see it. It's very Arabian Nights-esque."

"Yeah, just like living in a harem," Puck commented, raising an eyebrow at Kurt over his cup. Kurt gave him one of his Looks before cracking a smile.

"Well, Finn's favorite Disney movie was definitely Aladdin, so he'll probably like it," Carole said.

Kurt's face split into a bigger, dreamier smile. "That's one of my favorites, too. Fantastic music and a great story."

"Yeah, the whole bad boy and spunky girl meeting and becoming friends under the strangest, most unlikely circumstances and then turning into more than friends? Totally not an overused storyline at all," Puck said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, bad boy and spunky girl is an overused trope, yes, but that doesn't make it a bad storyline," Kurt countered. "It's a classic love story, like Beauty and the Beast, 10 Things I Hate About You…it's even flipped with the boy being the romantic and the girl being the 'bad' one in Moulin Rouge. It's a great story."

Puck laughed softly, "You know I was only kidding, Kurt; Aladdin's one of my favorites, too."

Carole listened and watched them talk for a while longer as she drank her tea, their teasing touches and loving giggles and smiles. Eventually, however, she had to put her cup in the dishwasher and leave for the garage, promising Kurt not to tell his dad that he was there. She would be far too busy telling Burt that she now saw the relationship he had told her about weeks ago.

Once Carole was gone, Puck asked, "So what were you saying I should do about the whole Quinn thing?"

"Well, for one, stop being a colossal idiot and be the real you. Tell her how you feel and show her your serious and committed. Sing it if you have to," Kurt said, sipping on his Chai. "You want to be a rockstar, but show her that you won't be like your dad. Let her know that the baby girl would be the center of your life."

Puck mulled that over until a song popped into his head, the lightbulb turning on over his head. "Thank you, Kurt. I totally got this now."

"Glad to hear it," Kurt said, "Now go work on it."

"But the room—"

Kurt waved that off, "I've got it, I promise. Work on getting your girl. You can even tell people that you helped decorate it."

Puck laughed, "Thanks, Kurt, but I doubt I'll brag about it."

—

"The place looks great," Burt said, still sounding angry as he watched Finn go up the stairs. Kurt still stared at the wall in front of him.

Did that really happen? There was no way Finn said that. Finn snored, Finn yelled, Finn kicked chairs, but never did Kurt ever hear Finn say anything homophobic. That was part of why he was attracted to him.

Burt grasped Kurt's shoulder almost painfully tight. He wasn't as good with the physical comfort as Noah was—no one was as good at physical comfort as those two—but he did what he could. He let Kurt lightly press his fingers against his own in recognition of the contact before going back upstairs to deal with the mess that was just made.

Kurt slowly sank back down to the couch, tears slowly working his way down his face. He really thought the room would fix everything, would make Finn more comfortable, would make them a family, would help him get over Finn. But it didn't. This wasn't an uplifting sitcom; his life would never be one.

He started hearing voices upstairs, Carole yelling at Finn, Finn apologizing, the shuffling of feet. Any minute now they'd be down there looking for Finn's stuff so he could leave, so Carole could leave. All because of him and his creepiness that caused a sweet boy like Finn to crack into a homophobic jerk.

He had to get out.

—

"So, the room is really cool and I definitely helped a lot," Puck bragged to Sara and Quinn as they finished cleaning up from dinner earlier. He didn't really understand why, but Quinn always smiled when he talked about Kurt and Sara loved hearing about her Brother From Another Mother, so he often told stories about what they did together.

"It definitely sounds good; let's hope Finn likes it."

Sara scoffed, "If he doesn't, he's an idiot. Kurt makes the best designs ever."

"That he does," Puck agreed, "Now you need to get ready for bed." Sara grumbled but let the two teenagers walk her to the stairs. They were only up a few steps when the doorbell rang.

"Who could that be?" Quinn asked out loud, her hand running over her rounded stomach.

Puck shrugged, "I'll answer it; you get the munchkin sorted out."

"I'm not a munchkin," Sara grumbled as her and Quinn headed up the stairs, Puck going to the door.

"I'd definitely say you're more of a Dorothy," Quinn agreed.

Puck opened the door, ready to tell whoever it was that it was a little late to be bugging them, but the words stopped in his throat when he saw Kurt huddled on the front step, backpack on his bag. His eyes were rimmed red and his mouth was tight. Uh oh. He'd been crying. Puck's mind jumped back to the last time Kurt came to his doorstep upset and he started wondering if he had done something to cause it. "Kurt? What's wrong?" He asked, opening the door further and stepping aside so Kurt could come in.

Kurt walked in and dropped his backpack on the ground and quickly took off his coat and shoes and gloves. When he was just in his pants and dress shirt and vest, he threw himself at Puck, wrapping his arms around him in hopes of getting some physical comfort. Puck immediately wrapped his arms around him, cooing softly into his ear as he felt silent tears falling on his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said softly after Kurt calmed down a bit, "Let's go sit over at the couch and you can tell me what happened, okay?"

Kurt nodded and a few minutes later Kurt had told Puck the whole story from Finn yelling at him the other night until Burt making Finn leave. "And I couldn't stand being in there anymore, I had to go. I feel horrible leaving Dad alone, but if I stayed there and had to see them leave, I just wouldn't…" Kurt shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat, "So now I'm here."

Puck was tense. The only thing that stopped him from springing up and hunting down Finn was Kurt's legs on his lap and his upper body leaning against his. "That asshole!"

"No," Kurt said, shaking his head, "No, it was my fault. I pushed him and pushed him too far, I was creepy, like you said, and I—"

"Kurt, stop that!" Puck said loudly, immediately running a hand over Kurt's arm in an apology as Kurt flinched. "He has absolutely no excuse. No matter how much someone's pushed, that is totally not cool to say. Even I don't excuse what I said on the phone no matter how much I want to. It's totally not cool."

Kurt was about to rebut that statement when Sara called out, "Kurt!" Puck groaned and Kurt wiped his face as Sara bounded down the steps, Quinn trying to run after her despite her pregnant belly.

"Kurt!" she cried again, hugging him as she stood next to him. When she stepped away, she wiped her face, slightly wet from the tears still left on his. "You're crying."

"Sara…" Puck started softly. He looked at Quinn who shrugged helplessly.

"It's nothing, Sara," Kurt sniffed. "Just a guy I liked called me a bad name."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at that but Sara just frowned and hugged him again, "I'm sorry, Kurt. Any guy who doesn't like you is stupid."

"Tell me about it," Puck agreed, smiling at Kurt. Quinn grinned like she always did when Puck talked about Kurt; she was starting to really want them together instead of just being annoyed by them.

Kurt laughed wetly, "Thanks, Sara. I'll keep that in mind."

"Now someone needs to go let Quinn put her to bed," Puck said, looking pointedly at his sister, "Or else Ma will be very cranky when she gets home."

"Yeah, but she'll be cranky with you, not me," Sara pointed out. Kurt laughed again at that but kissed her forehead goodnight. "Love you, big brother," Sara said softly, petting his hair and kissing his cheek.

"Love you, too, little sis," Kurt replied. "Goodnight, Quinn."

"'Night, Kurt…Puck," she said, taking Sara back up the stairs as the two started talking softly again. Quinn watched them for a few seconds at the top of the stairs. It was sweet to watch Puck murmur to Kurt comfortingly and to see Kurt actually accept comfort and let his guards down. She was watching something few people were privy to, because no matter how touchy-feely they were at school, they were a whole different thing in private.

"I don't know why No and Kurt aren't together yet," Sara muttered.

"Tell me about it," Quinn agreed.

—

"I'd like to be with you in the delivery room, if you'll let me. And I'd like to call her Beth," Puck said, looking at Quinn directly in her eyes.

Quinn smiled, her eyes still wet with tears. "Yes."

Kurt smiled at the interaction, feeling hope for his best friend's dream relationship just yet. Puck had indeed picked the perfect song and Kurt was proud of his best friend for finally really letting Quinn see his heart. He was starting to relax again when Finn turned back to him.

"Please, Kurt, I just want to talk about this," he said.

"I already told you my answer," Kurt said tensely, not even turning away from Puck. The lines Finn sang in "Beth" didn't change his mind, and nothing Finn could say would, either. He was standing his ground just like Puck told him to do the night before. Hummels didn't back down, after all.

"Kurt, please," Finn begged, "I thought you wanted us to be a family."

Kurt turned towards Finn, "But you obviously don't want us to be one and haven't wanted that from the start. Please, just leave me alone."

"Kurt—"

"Hudson, leave him alone," Puck interrupted, stepping between the two of them to look at Finn. "You don't deserve to talk to him," he hissed.

Finn glared at Puck. He stood up and pushed him, saying, "This isn't any of your business."

"Oh you bet it's my business," Puck said, pushing him back. "It's my business when you call my best friend that word."

"You mean like what you called him last semester?" Finn countered, pushing Puck again. "Yeah, everyone knows you did it so don't even try to deny it," Finn said in response to Puck's shocked look.

"Yeah, well at least I've said I was sorry."

"He hasn't given me the chance—"

"You don't deserve the chance. I didn't deserve the chance!" Puck yelled. "Do you realize how great of a guy Kurt is?" Kurt stayed frozen, his eyes soft as he listened to Puck, practically seeing the flames on his skin. "He's the best damn thing that's happened to me and I'll never be worthy of everything he's given me, including every second chance I've ever been given. He's the best friend anyone could ever have, loyal to a fault. Yeah, he can be a bitch and a diva and he's kind of prissy and he talks and walks in his sleep sometimes which is super creepy, but he's better than every other person in this town. He'll make it out of here and have a better career than any of us could dream of and he'll deserve it. So don't you fucking dare talk to my best friend like that you homophobic, stupid asshole."

"What the hell, Puck?" Finn yelled, losing his temper even more. Kurt looked over at Mr. Schue, expecting him to stop the fight, but he, much like the rest of the glee club, seemed utterly stunned by what was happening. "He has a crush on me, I can't help but be creeped out a bit!"

"You never told him no, did you?" Puck asked, getting right in Finn's face. "No, because you're a fucking attention whore with a hero complex. You want everyone to like you so you're nice to everyone but if it's a gay guy with real feelings, it's okay to string them along, huh?"

"Noah…" Kurt started warningly. Noah finally looked at him and Kurt said, "Breathe."

Noah looked him square in the eyes and said, "I'm not doing any meditating or punching a pillow, Kurt; the only thing that will help is punching him."

"Dude!" Finn exclaimed, his face lined with worry.

Puck turned back to him, furious as he added, "And don't even try the whole 'people called me gay' thing. I've had people accuse me every day and it's still nothing compared to what Kurt gets on a daily basis just because he likes cock. So just shut the fuck up or I'll do it for you."

The room was so silent a pin drop could be heard. No one knew what to say, even Kurt couldn't get himself up to calm down Noah. Finally Finn turned to Kurt, "Kurt—"

"I warned you," Puck declared, punching Finn in the face.

The room erupted into gasps and whispers and people whipping out their cell phones in case a true fight formed. But Kurt immediately ran up to Puck and grabbed him around the waist, pulling him away from where Finn laid on the floor, holding onto his nose as Mr. Schue checked him out. Puck wasn't having any of it, though, fighting against the hold Kurt had around his waist. "Breathe, Noah," Kurt said, "He's not worth it."

Somehow, finally, Kurt managed to get Puck to calm down as Mr. Schue managed to ensure that Finn's nose wasn't broken, just badly bruised. He stuffed several tissues into Finn's hand and walked over to Noah, frowning. "Puck, that was completely unacceptable. I'm going to have to report you to Principal Figgins—"

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, sassy finger out as he stepped in front of Noah, his heels making him almost tower over Mr. Schue. "You could've stepped in at anytime to stop what was happening and you just sat there, just like everyone else did when Finn attacked Noah last semester, just like everyone does when anything bad happens to anyone else in this whole damn school. Well, at least everyone but Tina." He nodded over at Tina and turned back to his teacher, "And speaking of last semester, I don't recall you doing anything to punish Finn after he punched Noah's face in against this very floor. So if you don't want my dad—who considers Noah a second son—to contact those lawyers he was going to get last semester about your other unjust favoritism towards Finn and Rachel, I'd suggest you don't report Noah."

Mr. Schue gaped. The glee club watched with either shock or amusement or all of the above because, yeah, Kurt got angry, but he normally just resorted to cold looks and sarcastic remarks. The fire behind his words was a bit of a shock, to say the least, and they really had no idea what to say.

The class had no time to react, though, because Kurt grabbed Noah's hand and led him out of the classroom. "Let's…let's get you to the nurse, Finn," Mr. Schue finally sputtered, helping the teen onto his feet and walking him out of the room.

Everyone was silent for a few more moments until Quinn declared, "Well, that totally ruined the moment."

They all could agree with that.

—

Hours later, the boys were the Hummel's kitchen, Kurt preparing a dinner. "So, I'm 'the best damn thing' to happen to your life, huh?" Kurt asked, some ulterior motive easily found in his voice.

Puck was wary of where this was going. "Yeah, and I know I'm yours. Why?"

Kurt shook his head with a large smile, "Oh, nothing. I just think you should be thankful no one in Glee club recognized your Avril reference."

"Shut up," Puck snapped, blushing heavily. Kurt was the only person outside of his family who knew of his secret love (and lust) for one Avril Lavigne and her music.

"So, what you were saying is, that you're not, not, not gonna get any better," Kurt said in a straightforward tone, "That you won't, won't, won't, you won't get rid of me, never."

"Kurt—"

Kurt skipped to sing, "And yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a lot to handle, you don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal. Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen—"

Puck joined him, singing with him, "I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen." He laughed with Kurt, wrapping an arm around him, "So, I'm guessing it's safe to say he wasn't what you wanted, what you thought, no?"

Kurt laughed as well, "Well, you know, he wouldn't even open up the door. He never made me feel like I was special."

"He really isn't what you're looking for."

"Uh-uh, uh woah oh uh, uh oh, oh," Kurt said in rhythm, both cracking up again. He sighed, "But I guess it really is time to start moving on. Or at least attemping."

"God, Kurt, why'd he have to go and make things so complicated?" Puck asked.

Sighing, Kurt said, "I think I'm the one who made things complicated, Noah." He leaned his hands on the counter in front of him, "I was creepy."

Noah watched his friend's back for a moment as he thought of what to say. After a while, he walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his Kurt's waist and rested his head against Kurt's. "Hey," he said softly, "You made some mistakes, but he shouldn't have called you that word. He should've told you he had no interest. You were a bit creepy, yes, but it's not all your fault."

"Promise?" Kurt said quietly.

Noah smiled, "Promise."

When Burt finally came home, Kurt and Puck were having a full out jam session to Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend", air instruments and cheesy points all included, as the smell of baked chicken wafted through the air. He walked over to the speakers and turned it down, the boys finally noticing his presence.

"Dad," Kurt said in shock. He held up a hand, "Wait, me dancing to a girl's song and you walking on me? Woah, déjà vu."

Burt smiled, "Yeah, you're not going to tell me you're part of the basketball team now, right?"

"No, those days are behind me," Kurt said, getting out plates and handing them to Noah to put on the table, "Plus if Coach Sylvester heard about me doing anything else besides glee club distracting me from the championship routine, she'll castrate me."

Noah and Burt both made a face as they all started setting the table. "You ever going to tell us what your secret little mission for it is?"

Kurt shook his head, "Sworn to secret. I literally had to sign away my right to tell anyone. All I can say is that the routine is basically built around me and challenges me in every possible manner. And is a better part than I'll ever get in glee club."

Puck rolled his eyes as Kurt brought out the mashed potatoes, "At least Mr. Schue means well, I guess."

"It's not like I'm quitting, I'm just frustrated with his policies," Kurt shrugged.

Burt raised his eyebrows, "Something I should know about, boys?"

"Just his usual favoritism, that's all," Noah said. Kurt nodded, not feeling the need to add what else happened.

"And you punched Finn," Burt finished. At the boys' shocked looks he chuckled, "I went to talk to Carole before I came home today."

"Oh," Kurt said, his hands wringing together. "What did you talk about?"

Sitting down with a sigh, Burt said, "Everything." He took off his cap and ran his hand over his scalp, "It's quite a mess we're in, but we're not going to stop dating since it seems the problems aren't really about us but about you two boys needing to work things out. We just won't try living together anymore for a few more months." He looked at Noah and Kurt, "You'll work it out, right? Both of you?"

"If he apologizes," Noah muttered.

"Oh, he will," Burt said.

—

"Oh my god," Kurt gasped. When his dad said Finn would apologize, Kurt had no idea this would happen. Kurt scrunched his eyes up and reopened as if the image of Finn in a red shower curtain would disappear. Well that didn't work. There he was, all six feet and four inches of him in red rubber and were those rhinestones around his eyes? He surely hoped his dad didn't know about this without telling him.

"I want to thank you, Kurt," Finn started. "I realize I still have a lot to learn, but the reason I'm here…in shower curtain, is because of you. And I'm not going to let anyone lay a hand on you." Kurt's lips twitched a bit into a small smile.

"Really, dude?" Karafsky scoffed, "You really think you could take both of us?"

"Yeah. But can you take all of us?" Puck asked. Finn turned around and Kurt smirked. Behind Finn stood the whole Glee club—in freaky attire, Tina finally back in her gothic outfit—all ready to defend him, to defend their right to be freaks.

"Ah, Karofsky, I took biology, I know what's goin' on," Azimio said, "We done disturbed the freak hive and not the queen freaks are going after us." Kurt frowned, Puck's muscles flexing in rage.

"Fine, we'll go," Karofsky said, "But next time, we'll bring friends, too." Puck snarled at them and glared as they left before rushing over to Kurt.

"You okay?"

"It takes a lot more than that to tear me down," Kurt said with a soft smile. Puck laughed and ruffled Kurt's wig. "Hey!" He smacked Puck's arm away and fixed the wig as they both turned to Finn.

"I'm just tired of everyone calling us freaks," Rachel interrupted.

"Well, look at us," Mercedes laughed, "we are freaks." Some people laughed with her.

"Yeah, but we're all freaks together," Finn said, "And we shouldn't have to hide it."

Puck rolled his eyes as Mr. Schue came in and congratulated Finn and led the group back to the choir room with a call of, "Next stop, Regionals!"

Finn stayed behind with Puck and Kurt. "I'm sorry," Finn said guiltily. "I never should've said that. I'm really sorry."

Kurt crossed his arms, "Thanks." Finn looked at him awkwardly until Kurt finally grinned, "I mean it."

"Cool," Finn said in immense relief. He turned to Puck.

Puck stared back, sizing him up in his mind. Finally he offered his hand. Finn immediately shook it firmly, smiling widely. Puck nodded and wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders, both of them walking down the hall towards the choir room, Finn soon hurrying to catch up with them.

As they walked, Finn looked over at Kurt and Puck, how they smiled at each other and bumped into each other and looked at each other. The looks Kurt gave Puck were totally the same as how Kurt looked at him. But instead of freaking out like Finn did, Puck looked at him the exact same way with the exact same intensity. At the beginning of the week he just thought that Kurt looked at everyone that way, but Kurt didn't look at anyone else that way. Kurt wasn't even looking at him like that anymore.

…Woah.

A/N: Woah, that one was hard to write. But I hope everyone found some enjoyment out of it and it didn't read as awkward as I swear it is.

Lots of thanks to Sara, eyesarmslove/loony4moony816, for the best advisor and supporter in the whole world. She's a fantastic writer and the sweetest person on planet earth. Love you, Sara!

And I love you all, dear readers. Thank you for reading and sticking with me. You guys are amazing.