Chapter 5
Doctor Bashir explained his plan to the rest of the crew. "I can synthesize cortisol on the Defiant, which I can give to Hogan and Olsen via an injection. And then we can get it into the water supply."
"That will take some time," O'Brien warned. "And someone is bound to spill the beans."
"I may be able to convince other POW's to be inoculated. They're not thinking straight. I'll think of something," Bashir replied.
"Good. But we have to keep working on getting rid of these animals. You two head up to the Defiant. I'll hold down the fort here," Sisko ordered.
HhHhH
Before the three German officers could enter Klink's office, a grumbling Schultz and Langenscheidt had to literally remove every fur ball. Hochstetter refused to help if any were in there.
Hogan and his men listened in as the three Germans made multiple calls in an attempt to find out the animals' origination.
"Plausible deniability, Hochstetter," Burkhalter stated as he finished the latest call. He had spoken with everyone from Hitler's personal physician to Mussolini, and the accusations thrown back at him…just because…made his blood boil and his heart race. He sat up and shook his head. For some reason, he felt a bit more alert.
Hochstetter felt as irascible as ever. "Yes, I know…The SS is continuing to deny everything. So, my bet is this is their doing."
"And their point? And why my camp?" Klink whined as he tried to see if there were any stray fur balls beneath his desk. Seeing nothing, he sighed.
Hochstetter growled at Klink and threw his arms up in the air. "I don't care, and I don't know what you can do with these creatures. I'd shoot them all."
"Now, Major, that's not only cruel and inhuman, but impossible. We can't keep up with reproduction."
"Then, evacuate the camp, General. You are in control of the prisoners and the camps. Send them all to Luft Stalag 5. Bomb this camp and bulldoze the entire thing to the ground." Hochstetter turned and headed for the door. "Except for Hogan and his posse. Leave them to me. I'll deal with them."
HhHhH
Hearing the threat from Hochstetter, Hogan sprung into action. "Well, we can't have that," he calmly stated. Putting down the tawny fur ball he was stroking, he and the other listeners left the room.
Sisko was still in the common room, and at the sound of the prisoners returning, he turned and raised an eyebrow.
"You." Hogan pointed. "The Gestapo is threatening to evacuate the camp, firebomb the entire complex to kill our pets, and transfer everyone to another camp. Do something."
While the three Germans were ruminating over the camp wide pest problem, Newkirk, Carter and Olsen were busy leaving Hochstetter a going away present. The three stumbled into the hut, laughing.
"We got Hochstetter good, didn't we, Andrew?" Newkirk's arm was draped around his friend's shoulder.
"A good going away present." Carter offered everyone a goofy grin.
"What are you talking about? Hogan asked.
"His car," giggled Olsen. "Critters. In the trunk."
Sisko's thoughts quickly turned to this latest development. He was the only Federation crew member here, and unable to call for assistance, he turned, "We can't let these things out of camp." He opened the door and sprinted towards the car.
"Colonel, what are we going to do?" LeBeau asked.
"Follow him," Hogan ordered.
Shoving tribbles out of the way, Sisko ran, coming to a sliding halt at Hochstetter's staff car.
Klink, Burkhalter, and the Gestapo major were standing in front of the driver's door.
Hogan, LeBeau and several other prisoners were several steps behind Sisko.
Sisko walked right up to the three Germans. Klink and Burkhalter stepped back. Fearlessly, Sisko stood, towering over the Gestapo agent. "Major. It is major, isn't it?"
Hochstetter looked up at the unfamiliar POW. "Klink, what is this man doing here?" he demanded, shuddering as a brown fur ball came flying past the car. It was caught by one of the guards, who gave it a pat, and stuck it in his pocket.
"Klink, this place is a loony bin. And you didn't answer my question." Angrily, Hochstetter reached for his door.
"He's a prisoner." Klink yawned.
"Stupid question," Burkhalter mumbled.
"You can't leave," Sisko said.
"Hogan, control your men," Hochstetter ordered. "I can leave if and when I want to….And you will pay for this…all of it."
Hogan felt an adrenaline rush. He now couldn't quite recall why it was imperative for the major to stay, but if this ally from Naval intelligence said so, then was it for him to argue the point?
"You can't leave because…" He scrunched up his face, trying to recall the events leading to him rushing out of the hut. "I'm losing it," he whispered to LeBeau.
"The critters," the corporal whispered. "In the trunk."
"Oh, yeah." Suddenly it all came back. "You can't leave because you are removing top-secret weaponry from the camp. Isn't' that right, sirs?" He looked at Burkhalter and Klink.
"Work with me, here," he mouthed to the Kommandant and the general.
Sisko sidled over to Burkhalter and whispered, "in the trunk."
"That's right, Hochstetter. Top secret." Burkhalter walked over to the major and as Sisko stepped aside, he stood face to face, or face to chest with the Gestapo officer, if he wanted to be specific. "This is not a Gestapo project. It is SS, and you are absconding with the evidence." Burkhalter looked at Hogan, who nodded. "I can bring you up on charges."
"Charges? What in heaven's name are you talking about?" Hochstetter looked in the car, which was empty. He then walked around to the trunk and bending down, released the latch.
It was amazing that the trunk did not pop up on its own, as Hochstetter was immediately flung onto the ground by the never-ending wave of tribbles pouring out of the car, not unlike the slow erosion of a dam that finally bursts.
The Gestapo major, his arms flailing, attempted to push away the swarm of squealing animals.
Schultz, observing from the sidelines, hurried over, and not afraid of the fur balls, tried to help the major, asking, "what can I do?"
"Get these off me," Hochstetter screamed. "And someone close that lid!"
This is an odd sense of déjà vu, Sisko thought. Out of the corner of his eye, he spied Bashir coming towards him. The doctor met his commander a few yards away from the car.
"This has got to be a side-effect of the temporal anomaly, Captain, or otherwise, some deity has an awfully weird sense of humor," Bashir noted as he gazed upon the chaotic scene.
"All we're missing is a dead tribble with a bomb," Sisko noted. "I take it you have some good news, Doctor?"
"Indeed. I have injections that will help get some of our friends here back on track. In addition, Odo will morph into something useful and get it into the water supply. Although, once the tribbles are removed, the effects should wear off in a few days, more quickly if there is a crisis."
Well, removing the tribbles is the crisis," Sisko said as he rubbed his chin.
Hochstetter, stewing over the indignity of being pummeled by an SS experiment gone wild, left the camp and headed back to headquarters.
"Odo to Captain Sisko."
"Go ahead, Constable."
"I've examined the water tower." Sisko could hear an audible sigh coming from the changeling. "It's full of drowned tribbles."
"Have the Defiant transport them out of there and send them into space."
"Understood. Once that is done, I can drop in the doctor's medication."
"This is really getting out of hand. Check outside the perimeter. I'm going to inspect the camp; get a feeling as to how the rank and file are doing, and then I'll call for a beam up." Sisko was concerned about loopy POW's eagerly discussing things that shouldn't be discussed with loopy guards. He began to take a walk.
Once Hochstetter left camp, Burkhalter and Klink, their antagonism curtailed, headed back to the Kommandanteur for hot cocoa and commiseration on which color fur balls would make the best pets. Bashir walked into Barracks 2 and found an angry LeBeau confronting his bunkmates, while Hogan looked on.
"They are in my food now, Mon Colonel. They," he pointed to the bemused men hanging out on the bunks, "didn't clear the vermin out properly. Look..." He lifted the lid off a pot...it was full of purring fur balls, munching on potatoes. LeBeau then pointed to the table where he had left a repast in process. It was covered with the creatures.
Hogan shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to do, LeBeau. They're everywhere." Sighing, He clapped. "Okay, all of you...clear out the hut. We are all eating in the mess hall." He then looked at Bashir. "You and your fancy, secret unit. Any suggestions?" He picked up an engorged tribble and tossed it to Saunders, who opened the door and tossed it outside. The animal was caught by a shocked Schultz.
'What do you want, Schultz?" asked Newkirk.
The sergeant sniffed. "It's usually the time when LeBeau is making something delicious?"
'Nothing to bribe you with today, Schultz." Carter pointed. "They got into the food supply."
"Oh, that is bad."
"Sad." Kinch shook his head, as he grabbed a pile of creatures, and carried them outside. "They'll get back in," he mumbled, as he dropped them on the ground and walked back in.
"I think we all need to have a drink of water, and then think about this calmly." Bashir piped up. "And close the door."
"Who are you again?" Schultz asked, confused.
"Remember, the medic from last week?" said Olsen.
Schultz titled his head in the manner of a confused dog.
"Colonel, about those vitamin shots I mentioned, "Bashir stated. He hadn't mentioned them yet, but everyone was now so confused, he figured it didn't matter. "For you and Olsen, and anyone else...it will definitely help with the malnutrition. I even have enough for you, big guy." he patted Schultz on the stomach. Bashir pulled out his replicated 1940's syringe, and the vial of medication. "Why don't we all line up in the colonel's office." Obediently, the men did as they were told.
While Odo checked the area outside of camp, a concerned Sisko, navigating through piles of tribbles, moved throughout the compound. A small group of prisoners and guards were nonchalantly attempting to clear the animals from the food supply. The captain made a mental note to replicate extra food for the camp when they eventually left the area. Near the fence line, and close to a guard tower, Sisko could make out a noise that sounded like a saw. Looking up, he realized the guard, his gun trained on the compound, was not visible. Underneath the tower stood another guard. Looking around, he noticed he was gathering a crowd.
"What's going on?" asked an American sergeant.
A German corporal, holding a smaller shepherd on a leash-Sisko recalled he was one of the friendly, tame guards-looked up. "The guard tower is infested," the German said with a smile. "They are sawing a hole in the floor, so they can clear out the critters. Pieter cannot do his job properly. There is no room to stand." He bent down and patted his dog.
"Aww, we don't need a guard in the guard tower, Langenscheidt. You know we aren't going anywhere or causing any trouble."
The corporal laughed. "That's what you want us to believe, Sergeant McMahon."
Sisko cringed as the small section of tower floor gave way. Wait for it, Sisko thought. Sure enough, tribble after tribble fell through the hole, landing on the the hapless guard. That's two repeat scenes from Kirk's scrape with these tribbles in one time travel episode. Sisko left the gathering and made his way back to the barracks.
HhHhH
"I think that will do it, "said a triumphant, O'Brien, floating away from his work station.
"Never thought you could jury-rig industrial sized replicators from scratch, Chief," Kira said.
"Well, sometimes you need to take a bit from here to there. It's worth living in colder temperatures and less gravity if we can solve this problem." He tapped his communicator. "O'Brien to Sisko."
"Go ahead, Chief."
"I've managed to solve the problem of transporting the tribbles."
"Good. Odo, Bashir and I will beam up."
O'Brien hung on to a handle on the bulkhead so he wouldn't float up to the ceiling while he spoke to the captain. "So, as you know, our replicators are like mini transporters. We don't have enough buffer space in the main transporter. But, since these are very simple organisms, we can use the molecular distribution system in the replicators to store their signatures for a short amount of time."
Dax smiled. "In English, Benjamin, it looks like we have a solution to our problem."
"Not quite. How are we supposed to transport the tribbles up to the ship without hundreds of POWs and guards noticing? We have to get them out of the camp."
HhHhH
"We have to get them out of the camp," Hogan stated firmly as he leaned on Klink's desk. There were again fur balls in his office, and they were piled in the corner by the credenza. Boy, that vitamin shot the doctor gave me really helped, Hogan thought. Although it is weird that it worked so fast. At least I'm thinking straight. Indeed, he was. Just a short time ago, both he and Olsen, and the rest of the men in his barracks came out of a daze he rightly attributed to the effect the fur balls were having on everyone in camp. He also realized that, slowly, the rest of the men and the German guards and staff were beginning to act in a normal manner.
Burkhalter was still in camp, and he idly tossed an animal up and down in his hand. As he watched, he observed Hogan and Klink. The American officer was clearly taking charge of the unusual situation. The general agreed that the animals needed to be removed. But how to do that? And what would be done with them once they were gone? Well, that was another story. Once the problem was resolved, Burkhalter planned to get to the bottom of this weird experiment. .
"It's like one of those old science fiction movies I used to see on Saturday mornings," Hogan stated. "Except instead of a scary monster taking over the town, these are cute. But they're just as deadly."
Schultz entered the office through the open door. "If there are only a few of them and they stayed that way," Schultz said quietly, "they wouldn't be so bad"
"Schultz. Shut up," said Klink, his head in his hands. "Why me? Why this camp? Why do they always pick this camp to show off their experiments?"
Outside, a group of guards and Hogan's staff were supervising the prisoners as they attempted to corral the creatures and stack them in the compound. It was a very hard task.
"I found one in my footlocker," said Newklrk.
"That's not too bad, said Brill, the poor soldier who found the first fur ball. "I just cleared out the latrine." He looked at the pile and frowned, "I am sorry I picked this thing up."
"It's not your fault," said Kinch. "They would have started reproducing one way or the other. I think the food started it off and there are plenty of potato peelings lying around."
"Not to mention they are born pregnant. Obviously," said. Carter. "Boy, I don't want anything bad to happen to these things," he commented as he stroked a fur ball before tossing it into one of the large piles scattered throughout camp. The creatures' purring sound could be heard yards away. Prisoners assigned as nursery crews were responsible for corralling newly born creatures and incorporating them into the mound, while guards and their dogs patrolled the interior perimeter of the camp, sniffing out wayward balls of fluff.
Hogan stood quietly on the side of the compound, his arms crossed across his chest, taking in the sight.
"This has to be the weirdest mission you've ever commanded, Colonel Hogan."
Hogan turned and found himself facing the commander of the secret Naval unit standing beside him. As usual, the man resonated calm and command presence.
"How are you and your men feeling?" Sisko asked.
"As if a shade went up on a window," Hogan replied. "I've always worked better in a crisis. And we certainly have one. Must have been those shots." He decided not to ask the man for more information. "But, what is even more of a surprise, Captain, is that everyone else is slowly coming out of it. Even the Germans. Any longer and someone was bound to spill the beans."
"Maybe you're all allergic to the dander, or something." Sisko shrugged. "But I'm glad to hear that."
"Or something." Hogan stared at the captain for a moment. "General Burkhalter is looking into this. I take a dim view of experimentation on my men; and he wasn't happy either. The key is, once we've corralled these things, what do we do then? I can get them out of camp...convince Klink to get a construction unit here with a bulldozer, and take them somewhere far away from a population center. But it's an ongoing issue, as they keep reproducing." He turned and plopped down on a bench. Removing his crush cap, Hogan ran his fingers through his hair. He looked up at Sisko. "We have to do something quick, before the Gestapo sets them on fire, and bulldozes the camp."
Sisko noted to himself that despite the crisis, no one in the camp wished the tribbles any harm. He set that thought aside for the time being, although he would bring that up to the doctor, and then spoke.
"Dealing with Klink is not necessary, Colonel Hogan. We came in here ready to deal with this. My superiors have come up with a plan. We just need a bit of your help." He put his arm around Hogan's shoulder and whispered into his ear.