#71
Dear Spirit,
I snorted a roach once. Some guy gave me $10 for it. Because I snort things on street corners--sort of like those guys who play guitar on street corners.
I just told my mom that I have an after-school job. She doesn't know it involves NOSE-CANDY.

3 Light
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#72
Dear Spirit,
I see you've spotted a picture of me with my masturbation stick. Well, I don't really use it to masturbate, because I'm a seme. I just tell people I do. Random people on the street. Who don't even want to know. It's how I get my kicks.

3 Light
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#73
Dear Spirit,
My most embarrassing moment was last week. I was walking down the stairs when I saw L at the bottom. Then I tripped, tumbled down the stairs and had an explosive diarrhea incident, broke a vase, frightened the dog, and got my head stuck in the banister. L laughed and walked away.

3 Light
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#74
Dear Spirit,
Once I went to Mexico on a school trip. Once I got there, I had a lot of fun. Before I got on the plane to go home, I ate 3 loaves of bread, 8 salty pretzels, and some beef jerky with peanut butter. I was really thirsty, so I drank 5 gallons of fresh Mexican water before I got on the plane.
It didn't end well. It didn't end well at all.

TO BE CONTINUEDDDDDD...

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#75
DEAR SPIRIT,
I fought in the great war once. Luckily, I was left alive. But unfortunately I got trench udder. It's a very unfortunate condition in which your udder begins to rot off. My udder was very uncomfortable and had to receive medical attention.

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#76
Dear Michi,
Today I went to the zoo. I brought along some goodies to feed the animals, like anthrax, carbon monoxide, and arsenic. The animals loved it. Except for the tiger. It got so angry at me, it dragged me into its cage and raped me.
And then I realized I liked bestiality.

3 Light
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#77
Dear Michi,
On the day of Apollo 13, whatever day that may be, I was browsing the phone book looking for an interesting number to call. I finally came across a nifty number in big, sparkaly numbers. I didn't read the ad that came with it. So I called the number, and a few hours later, a large, old, ugly lady came and did very nasty things to my special place. Then I decided I was gay.

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#78
Dear Spirit,
After my special place was so roughly violated, I decided that I would try sex with other things to see if I liked it better. So that day I raped a dishwasher, a garbage disposal (it was turned on), a venus fly trap, my mother's vegetable garden, and a bell pepper.
I decided to become celibate and never sex anything up again, unless it was L, looked like L, told me it was L, or unless I just forgot about my vow of celibacy and decided to sex things up anyway.
Then I jumped a centipede.

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#79
Dear Michi,
Yesterday I went to get the mail. I received a letter addressed to me, so I opened it and read it. It was a stupid note I had sent to myself one day, and it predicted that I would have severe anal bleeding within the next 2 minutes. Enraged at the stupidness, I tore the note up and ate it.
Then my pants exploded. But with BLOOD.

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#80
Dear Michi,
Real men eat beef. But I think it's clear that I'm not a real man, because I eat anything but beef. Like nitrogen, and plastic spoons, and the liquid neon from neon lights.

3 Light