Lethal sun, envious moon

Tifa

I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

(Evanescence - My Immortal)

It was a night like any other. There was nothing special about it but for some reason I wanted to see the sky. I felt something calling me, like the moon was crying to see me on that night. I left the village and swam towards the surface. I jumped out of the water and dived back in to relieve the stress of the arduous ascent. I came to the surface again and finally I was out breathing the cold night air. I felt the gills behind my ears closing tightly allowing me to use my lungs. I looked up…it was so beautiful. The sky was clear letting all the stars and the bright moon to shine. I was chilling but the view was worth it on that night.

Suddenly I noticed someone's presents. I turned my head to the island and then I saw a familiar figure who I could never forget. I was sure it was him…Cloud. He sat on the porch and his eyes were locked on me. His eyes were looking at...me. My heart missed a beat when I realized it. I couldn't breathe right, I was frozen…but then I understood that I was supposed to hide from him and I took cover under the water.

There under the waves the biggest craving hit me. He had been gone for some time and finally I learned to bare his absence but now Cloud was back. He was right there, so close but forbidden to me. I had seen him so many times playing and laughing, running around. When I looked him I wanted to play with him, be near him. Sometimes I even forgot who I really was.

I wasn't of human blood although I almost looked like one. Instead I was born as a mermaid. I was cursed with this body because humans were not allowed to know about us. They told stories and fairytales of us and our laws were supposed to keep it that way. I would have given all I had to be a human and get a chance to stand close to him not worrying about secrets. My only wish was to feel his heartbeats, look into his eyes and forget about tomorrow…and even if it was for one day. It was so unfair! I wanted to cry, scream, I wanted to break something to let my emotions boil but I stayed quiet...

I felt lonely…I wanted to be next to him, I wanted to be by his side. I missed him so much that I could feel it cutting me inside.

Cloud, Cloud…I didn't have the courage to say his name out loud because I was afraid someone might have heard me. So many times I had dreamed of him, so many times he had visited me in my sleep and maybe that's the way it would have stayed – a fantasy inside my head. A fantasy that was never to become true…

I looked up to see the bleary moon. I had asked it so many questions. Why was I a mermaid? Why did he come here? Why did I even love him when I'm wasn't supposed to? But the moon, the yellow moon had never answered. It was envious and it wanted to keep all the answers to itself. And I had to suffer not knowing what to do.

Secretly I had watched Cloud growing up on that island. He became a part of me without me noticing it. My affection grew without even meeting him. But I had learned to know him well. Cloud was my secret and I kept it well. Nobody knew and nobody was supposed to find out until one day it happened…

.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.

I watched Cloud every day from far hidden behind the rocks. It was as close as I could get. I followed his every move. But he had brought a heavy burden on that island...

Last time he was here he was surrounded by a loving family. His busy father had time for him occasionally and his heavenly fair mother spent time in the garden. This time it was all gone. Cloud was alone and ill…he was in pain. When he arrived here he had trouble with walking. He didn't speak much and he never smiled. Every time I looked him I wanted to hold him in my arms and whisper to him that everything was going to be all right. I wanted to do something to make him smile again, to bring him to life, but I was a prisoner of the sea.

It looked like he was living a normal life but I could see that he was closing himself from the rest of the world. From the outside he was strong and cold but in the inside when no one was around…I would have done anything, absolutely anything to save him…I loved him…

.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.

On that evening I was out again when I heard my little sister's voice. I looked into the water and there she was – Yuffie. Her usual perkiness was replaced with a worried look. Her arms were scratched; it looked like she had been in a fight.

Yuffie pulled me into the water and looked around nervously. "Tifa, you have to escape. They know, the elders, they know!" No, no, no. It was my secret, how could have they find out. My brain froze with only one question in my head – how?

"Tifa, listen to me. They want to send you into the Black Cave for the rest of your life. They said it would be too dangerous it you would reveal yourself. I should have warned you before...I knew your crazy affection would bring you trouble." Oh, my little sis. Why were you blaming yourself when it was all my fault. I was so sure my secret was safe that I had let my guard down.

"Now you must go!" she said to me and her voice trembled. We had never spent a day apart and now she told me to escape as far as I could. I was suffocating. I wasn't going to see the trial voluntarily for I felt I had done nothing wrong. I would have rather died and Yuffie knew it. She looked scared but she handed me a red stone dagger. "You must protect yourself…" We looked into each other eyes and hugged each other tightly. Yuffie trembled. I felt her fear of letting go of me like she would have lost her life by doing so.

Finally I nodded to her and began to swim. I turned my head to see Yuffie maybe for the last time but she had already left. I fled into the bottom of the ocean hoping not to be captured and understand how my secret; my dearest secret had come out…