When You're the Best of Friends

by xLessxThanx3x

AU. Puck and Kurt hold hands, cuddle, know each other's biggest secrets, and make the other a priority...but they've just been best friends for years. Based on a Puckurt meme prompt. Multi-chapter. Prompt inside. Eventual Puckurt.

31. Will and Grace vs The Partridge Family

Will and Grace vs The Partridge Family

After what seemed like an eternity, Santana stepped forward towards Puck. Showing a rare sign of public empathy, she hugged him, her high heels just barely making it possible for her rest her chin on his shoulder. "Hey, you did great out there," she whispered. She pulled back and moved his chin so he'd look her in the eye. "He just needs some time, like he said. Give him some space and it'll work out just fine."

Mercedes came up beside her and nodded. "Yeah. He's going to turn around. Don't worry." Tina nodded from Mercedes' side in agreement.

Rachel walked up next to him and moved him to an empty chair. Puck looked up at all of the girls' faces, all filled with such kindness, and it just made his eyes burn even more. He slumped down in his seat, well aware that Mr. Schue was awkwardly watching and every guy, besides Kurt and Finn, was still there as well.

"Guys…I really don't want to talk about this right now," Noah said quietly, afraid that if he talked too loudly that he'd get emotional.

"Too bad," Santana said, sitting down next to him.

Noah shot an uncomfortable look towards their teacher and Mercedes seemed to take the hint. "Hey, Mr. Schue, mind if we have a kids only moment?" Mr. Schue nodded a bit too eagerly and stood up. After a moment of hesitation, he gave Noah a comforting squeeze on the shoulder before leaving the room with a quick goodbye.

Noah's posture instantly relaxed, though he leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "God I'm an idiot," he said, running his hands through his hair. "He just had his first Mother's Day with a stepmom and finals are next week…" Noah shook his head and then pushed the heel of his palms into his forehead. "I'm such an idiot." Not only was it a stressful time of year for Kurt, but there was no way Kurt could ever feel the same way about him and he should've known that from the start.

"You're not an idiot," Santana said. "And I'm proud of you for what you did, okay? We all are."

Noah let out a snort, sure that Santana was just messing with him. But when he looked around, all the other gleeks were nodding and looking at him with sympathetic smiles. It was kind of weird; he never had a whole group of people actually feel pride about him. Not since he gave his bar mitzvah successfully. "Um…thanks," he finally said. "…I'm not sure how to feel about that."

"Then you probably don't wanna know that we've had regular calls and group texts about when you two were going to bang," Artie said.

Puck gave a startled look towards his friend. "Really?"

Artie shrugged. "Started last year. Every time we tried to push a bit, something would happen; we figured it was just best to watch. And sometimes discuss the matter at hand." Noah looked around the room and everyone, even his exes, were all nodding.

"God," he said, a slight laugh escaping with the word, "I knew you guys all suspected, but I didn't know you were like…rooting for it. Actively."

"It's hard not to root for something obvious," Lauren said with a shrug. She stood up and said, "I gotta go…" After a moment she smiled and added, "Good luck, Puckerman."

Puck appreciated the support. He realized now why she didn't push them farther, but he was glad to see that they seemed to at least still be friends. "Thanks, Zizes," he said, bumping her fist with his own before she left.

"When did you guys figure this out?" Noah asked curiously.

Everyone seemed to have an answer, enough so it was hard to pick out all the responses as they talked at once.

"When you dated Rachel," Artie answered.

"When we tried to date," came from Quinn.

"When you got out of Juvie," Sam shrugged.

"When I fucked you with my strap-on and you called out his name," Santana said simply.

Everyone stared at her and Noah sent her a glare. "Really? Was that necessary?"

Santana just smirked. "Someone's gotta have a story to spice up your wedding."

Puck was still a bit red from embarrassment, but he did his best to shake it off. "I wouldn't plan on a wedding yet. You saw his face."

"Like we said, he just needs time," Santana said.

"Yeah. You just surprised him; it's hard to respond to something like that on the spot," Tina agreed.

Still, Noah didn't look convinced. Rachel frowned and then brightened from an idea, "Want to come over to my place? I'm sure my dads won't mind if you spend the night! Kurt does all the time!"

Puck took a deep breath before looking at Rachel. "Rach. I like Kurt, but I am not Kurt. You can't use that to help." He slept over at Kurt's place, but that was it; being a part of some girls' night with Rachel sounded awful, especially in his current state.

After another moment, she suggested, "Do you want to kick a chair like Finn does?"

He snorted at the idea. "Nah. Thanks, though."

Still, after everyone started to leave, Noah picked up his backpack and guitar and looked around to make sure no one was watching him. He kicked up his leg and used it to push over a nearby chair. Then, without another word, he left.

Noah had to admit that Finn might've had something there.

—

When Finn finally made it to the parking lot, he was relieved to find his stepbrother sitting in his car. Well, he was relieved he was still there, but he definitely wasn't too pleased seeing him with his head against the steering wheel.

The door was still unlocked, so Finn climbed into the Navigator and slowly closed the door as he looked over at Kurt. They stayed in silence for a long while; Finn would've bought that Kurt was asleep if he the tension wasn't so heavy in the car.

"How is he?" Kurt finally said from behind the wheel.

Finn hesitated. "I left pretty soon after you; I thought you might leave without me," he explained quietly. After a small pause, Finn admitted, "He looked upset."

Kurt lifted his head and bit his lips, leaning his head back against his seat. Finn could see that he was tired and stressed and was definitely blinking back some tears. He knew Kurt wouldn't want to really hurt his best friend; while Kurt could hide it well, he truly didn't like to hurt people, especially not Puck. He just wished he could help him feel better in some way.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Finn asked quietly.

Kurt shook his head and quickly wiped his eyes. "No," Kurt said, his voice a little wet, "Not now." He shook his head again and sat up straight before starting the car. Finn buckled his seat belt and Kurt adjusted his mirrors and carefully pulled out of the mostly empty parking lot.

The two sat in silence for most of the ride back. Finn was too afraid to say something and Kurt was obviously thinking at a mile a minute about what all had happened. It wasn't until Kurt turned into their neighborhood that he finally spoke.

"Please don't tell our parents about this," Kurt said softly. Now he didn't like to admit that stuff out loud, but Finn loved when Kurt referred to them as our parents. He liked being part of a family. He loved it, really, and he normally ended up smiling a bit at just those two words. But this time, his eyebrows pressed together in confusion.

"I wouldn't," Finn replied.

"I know, I just…I wanted to make sure," Kurt said, still staring at the road ahead of him. His dad was most likely going to notice something was wrong, and Kurt didn't want his dad to turn to Finn for answers when he wasn't satisfied with Kurt's. Kurt wasn't sure if he was going to tell them what happened or not, but if he did, he wanted it on his own terms.

When they pulled into the garage and parked, Finn immediately reached for the door, but Kurt lightly touched his arm and Finn paused and looked back at him. Kurt looked over at Finn and smiled a tiny smile. "Thanks, Finn."

Finn smiled back, "No problem, Kurt."

—

Kurt was not one to take long, hot showers. Ever since he started reading his mom's magazines as a kid, skimming articles between the glossy photos, he knew hot water dried skin out. His own sensitive, pale skin was easily susceptible to dryness, hence his impressive collection of moisturizers. So he tended to stick to shorter showers at a lukewarm temperature, with the occasional warm enough bath when he needed a good soak.

However, Kurt was having an emotionally confusing day. After spending dinner assuring his dad and Carole that he was just stressed about finals, he went up to his room and spent a long time under a hot spray. His skin started getting a bit pink, but it also felt really nice.

As he washed his hair and exfoliated his body, he thought over the whole situation. So, Noah was in love with him. And he had just offered his heart to him…and Kurt crushed it by walking out on him.

Not a fun situation.

But Kurt couldn't just answer right away! Noah had to know that, right? Noah knew Kurt thought things through, over-analyzed, and picked apart his decisions. Yeah, he made rash decisions at times, everyone did, but Kurt was the one who thought things through, who questioned if Noah should really try that milk gallon challenge. Noah was the one who just took the gallon of milk and tried to chug it before throwing up in front of everyone.

In a way, that was what made them perfect as friends. Kurt made Noah stop and think and Noah made Kurt take more chances. Hell, Kurt would never have dated Blaine if Noah hadn't inspired him to seize the day. And they both knew that even if they were left throwing up milk in a garbage can, the other one would be there to pat their back throughout the process.

That's how they worked as friends, but would that dynamic work as boyfriends? Kurt thought about his favorite love stories: Ron and Hermione, Cher and Josh, Lady and Tramp…all of them were opposites. Ron made Hermione live in the moment while Hermione made Ron think; Cher made Josh loosen up while Josh made Cher push herself to be a better person; and, okay, maybe Lady and the Tramp wasn't the most developed example, but it was one of Kurt's favorite movies as a kid.

So, yes, their dynamic would possibly work as a romance…but romantic comedies and novels all revolved around that idea of opposites attract. Did it really mean anything to him and Noah? What really mattered was how they felt, of course, not some tropes from movies and books. Noah had made his feelings obvious, but Kurt…Kurt wasn't sure about his own.

He tried to reason with himself. Okay, was he attracted to Noah? That seemed important for a romantic relationship and that was pretty easy to tell. He definitely found Noah attractive, but he wasn't attracted to him…

Except Kurt remembered that kiss they shared. He had tried blocking it out so they could go back to normal, but the memory had popped into his head several times since then. Kurt remembered it clearly, even if he had been drunk at the time. His lips tingled as he thought of how Noah's had felt against his. Electric. Noah's skin was so warm and surprisingly soft. Noah's hands felt so good against his lower back. If he thought hard enough, he could imagine Noah's hands going down a little further—

Okay, maybe he was attracted to him. He was at least aroused by his kisses. It was possible he just liked it because he was drunk, but if that was the case, why had he thought about losing his virginity to him before? Kurt had figured it was because they were close friends and he trusted him. That was a part of it, of course it was, but he had to at least be somewhat attracted to even think of that. And as Kurt finally stepped out of the shower, his bathroom mirror fogged over, he remembered April's little gift, what thoughts that brought about, thoughts that made him hide those magazines and push away his attraction for men until he was afraid to even masturbate or make out with Blaine for too long.

It all added up and Kurt couldn't deny it as much as he wanted to. He was definitely attracted to Noah.

Kurt pulled out a heavy lotion to help repair the damage he just did on his skin. As he slathered it on, he thought about the issue some more. He obviously cared about Puck. That wasn't even a question. He got jealous when he spent time with his girlfriends of the past. No one made him feel more at ease or made him laugh when he needed it. Kurt knew no one like he knew Noah.

But that was just friend stuff. Both he and Mercedes got annoyed when Rachel blew them off for Finn in the past. Mercedes and Tina made him laugh like crazy when they went on shopping trips. And, hell, wasn't half the fun of falling in love supposed to be in finding out more about the other person?

Wouldn't that imply that he had been in love with Noah for years?

Kurt looked into the mirror with wide eyes. He shook his head and headed over to his vanity, quickly applying on moisturizer to avoid thinking about it. That wasn't it.

Even if they were in love, why would they want to date? That could lead to all kinds of messes. Ross and Rachel kind of messes. Finn and Rachel kind of messes.

That was the true issue at hand in Kurt's mind. It was why he avoided Noah after the Nationals performance; it was why he sat next to Finn on the plane; it was why he left Noah in the middle of the choir room just a few hours earlier.

For so long, he thought the two of them had an unconditional love. They were Kurt and Noah, Noah and Kurt! They were best friends through thick and thin. But when Noah left him in that dumpster just a year earlier, all of that hope crashed down around him.

True, they made up and were stronger than ever, a lot more honest and open to the point that Noah had just poured his heart out to him in front of everyone. But the months without his best friend were the worst thing Kurt had gone through; at least when his mom died, Noah was by his side. If they dated and they broke up…

Kurt put his head in his hands. He was at a complete loss. He had no idea how he felt and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Kurt needed someone to talk to, someone who could help him organize the thoughts that were buzzing in his brain.

His phone had been vibrating with texts from other glee club members, mainly Mercedes and Rachel, all offering to lend an ear or "buy him a mocha", as if Kurt didn't know why they wanted to hang out. Kurt loved them and appreciated the offers, but he ignored them all. He couldn't talk to them. Not now. Not ever. They were biased on the situation; Kurt had seen them smiling along as Noah sang. He wasn't blind. He knew what they thought.

Finn was the same way. As sweet as he was, it was obvious that Finn didn't quite grasp what was happening and why Kurt had freaked out in the first place. Kurt didn't blame him; he didn't quite grasp it, either. He briefly entertained the thought of Blaine, but Kurt knew that would be a mistake. Blaine wasn't any more experienced than him in relationships and his past jealousy of Noah wasn't going to help things, either.

He needed someone who had truly been in love. A lasting love. Someone who could just listen to him and offer him advice. Someone who just wanted Kurt to be happy and hadn't seen Kurt break Noah's heart.

He needed a mom.

—

Fifteen minutes later, a fully moisturized Kurt was shuffling into the living room in sweats and one of his dad's old T-shirts, his hair still wet against his forehead. This was weird in and of itself; Kurt normally saved sweats for his room or when he was sick, and wore fancy pajama sets everywhere else in the house. However, at that moment, he was just too tired to even think about the state of his clothes.

Yikes.

His dad and Finn were watching some baseball game; Kurt didn't bother to find out who was playing whom. His dad was in his chair and Finn was sitting on the floor in eager excitement. Kurt sat down next to Carole on the couch as she read the newest issue of People magazine.

Kurt waited silently, not wanting to interrupt her reading. Fridays often went like this, the four of them in the living room. Sometimes they'd all play some game or choose some movie to watch with popcorn and chopped veggies and fruits. Usually, though, it involved Burt and Finn bonding over some sport while Kurt and Carole shared magazines, Noah often bouncing between both groups. Carole had started to dog-ear articles she thought Kurt would like most. She was usually right.

After a few minutes, she closed the magazine and looked over at Kurt. She seemed to notice the unusualness of his clothing choices, but didn't say anything about it. "Want to give it a look? It's no Sexiest Man issue, but there's some good stuff in it."

"Thanks," Kurt said quietly. He took the magazine but just looked at it in his hands. He wasn't sure what to say since, well, he never did anything like this. Not only was his situation new enough to frighten him, but having no experience with asking Carole or really any maternal figure for advice like this on the spot was extremely anxiety inducing.

Carole, of course, seemed to have it covered. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked softly, lightly pushing back his bangs, just like his mom used to, and placing the back of her hand on his forehead. "You look pretty pale—do you have a fever?"

Kurt shook his head, even if he kind of felt like he did with how fast his brain had been running throughout the last few hours. "No," he said. Slowly, he managed to quietly ask, "I was wondering…I thought…could we…could we talk?" Kurt looked up at her and then over at his dad and Finn, who either hadn't noticed or pretended not to be listening; either way, he was grateful. "Alone?"

Without any hesitation, Carole said, "Of course." She smiled kindly and joked, "I could use an excuse to get away from this as well; I'm starting to agree with you on stirrup pants." Kurt smiled faintly at her and followed her up to her to the master bedroom.

Carole sat down on her side of the bed and Kurt went on his dad's side. He sat and looked at his lap for a while, trying to figure out what to say. He looked over at her, but she just sat patiently, not forcing him to say anything. Kurt wished it was as easy to talk about this stuff as it was to giggle over Colin Firth or for Kurt to go through Carole's wardrobe and pick out offending items.

"I've never done this before," Kurt finally blurted out. "I mean…my mom and I talked all the time. We were really close. But…I just…I never really asked for her advice on stuff like this. I wasn't old enough to have these kinds of things to think about."

Carole nodded. When Kurt hesitated, Carole gently said, "Kurt, you can ask me anything." Kurt bit his lip and Carole asked, "Is it boy trouble?" Slowly, Kurt nodded. She gave him a knowing smile; while Burt had grown much more comfortable with the idea of Kurt dating other boys after Kurt dated Blaine, he wasn't someone who anyone would turn to first in a dating crisis. "Well, I know a lot about that."

Kurt looked back up at her and asked, "How do you know if you're in love?"

Carole relaxed against the pillows behind her, since she had a feeling this was going to be a long talk. "You know, when I was your age, I was confused over that, too. Every romance out there talks about how you'll just know or about passion and attraction."

Kurt scooted a bit closer in interest, the pile of pillows on the bed pressing against the side. "It's not that, though," Carole said. "That stuff is great, and it often comes with love, but that's not what feeling in love is really like." She looked over at Kurt and smiled, "I knew I was in love with your father when the world was quiet with him."

"W-what do you mean?"

Carole shook her head. "It's hard to explain, but when I'm with your father…I feel a sense of calm I don't have otherwise. Real love isn't about passionate embraces and drama and feeling lost without someone. Yes, that can happen, but a lasting love…It's someone who can make your world quiet when you can't stand still. Butterflies and all of that, that's infatuation. Real love is happiness and peacefulness and someone who makes the hardest things bearable. Someone who can make you laugh when you feel your worst. Someone who's the yin to your yang."

Kurt looked off to the side thoughtfully. After a few moments, Carole put an arm around him. "Can I ask why you're asking?"

And just like that, everything burst out of Kurt like water through a poorly designed dam. Maybe it was just someone asking for the full story, maybe it was someone pulling him close for comfort, he wasn't sure, but before he knew it, he was telling her everything. He told her about the kiss after prom, the song in New York, Taylor Swift in the choir room, all while she stroked his back and waited patiently for him to finish.

"And I just left him there," he said, his voice pained and tears starting to work their way out of his eyes. "I just left him alone. I didn't know what to say and-and I know I hurt him. But I just don't know what to do. He did something he's not at all comfortable doing and I just left him there. I didn't mean to hurt him, I swear."

"Oh, sweetie," Carole cooed softly, pulling Kurt even closer to her chest. "It's a confusing situation to be in, honey, of course you couldn't respond right away. You need time to figure out how you feel—Noah knows that. He knows that you didn't want to hurt him; anyone who knows you two at all knows you would never hurt him on purpose."

Kurt slowly nodded against her chest, still sniffing a bit as she lightly ran her fingers through his hair. "What do I do now?" Kurt finally asked in a muffled voice. He pulled back to look at her, "I don't know where to start."

Carole gave him a small smile. "Well…do you feel the same way back?"

"I don't know," Kurt admitted. "I don't know how I feel at all. And right now the idea of even feeling calm around anyone seems impossible."

Carole let out a small breath of laughter. "I understand." Kurt laid down and looked up at the ceiling. Carole watched for a few moments before saying, "I guess some soul searching is in order."

"But if I do feel the same…why should we act on it?" Kurt asked.

"What do you mean?"

Kurt closed his eyes for a few moments. "I don't want to lose him again," he finally said quietly. When he opened his eyes, there were a few fresh tears there. "I barely survived the first time; I don't want to lose my best friend all over again because of…of hormones."

Playing with the hem of his shirt, Kurt continued, "I remember his dad. I remember him well. I don't bring him up, but of course I remember him." His hands momentarily balled up into fists at the thought of that man, but he relaxed them with a deep breath. "I remember how crushed Mama Mae was when he left and…Noah tried to hide it, tried to be the man of the house, but he was so hurt and confused and upset…"

He shook his head. "I've seen him after break ups. It's the same thing; he acts like he's not hurt, but I know everyone—Santana, Quinn, Lauren, everyone—they all hurt him. And if we get together…I don't want to be the one to do that to him. I'm supposed to pick up the pieces; what happens if I'm the one who does the breaking?" Kurt started blinking rapidly before quietly, brokenly asking, "What if he does it to me?"

"Sweetie…"

"I know neither of us are like his dad, but I know how much it hurt him and I know he would've gone in a completely different direction if it wasn't for me. I remember the times he came back and how Noah would get so hopeful, only to be crushed again, and I was always there. Mama Mae couldn't handle doing that, Sara's too young, it's my responsibility and I can't let him down. And what if we break up and lose each other? Can you really be friends after breaking up?" He looked over at Carole, though he wasn't sure what he wanted her answer to be.

Surprisingly, Carole was giving him a smile she normally directed at Finn or Burt. "Kurt, I hate to say this, but you're not being very smart right now." As Kurt raised his eyebrows, she wrapped an arm around him again. "Honey, you and Noah have been through more than most friendships ever endure. Your mom, his dad, even your own friendship falling apart. Do you really think you couldn't survive breaking up if you date?" Kurt shrugged meekly and she shook her head.

"I know it's scary. Having these feelings for a friend—if you really have them—is terrifying. But hiding those feelings away because of what could go wrong won't help you or Noah." Kurt didn't look convinced, so Carole added, "And who knows if you'll break up?"

Kurt hadn't really thought of that. He looked over at her and then back at the ceiling. His future always had Noah in it every time he imagined it, right down to the best man position at his (eventually legal) wedding to the adoption of his first child. Could Noah be the groom and other father instead?

"I can't tell you what you feel as much as I wish I could," Carole said. "But I do know that the two of you have something special, no matter what it is, and that's not going to go away even if you start dating."

Kurt was silent for a small moment before nodding. He had a lot to think about, but Carole really helped. "Thanks," he said quietly, adjusting his position so he could look at her.

"Any time," she replied. The two smiled at each other before Carole pulled him into another hug which he gladly reciprocated.

Before they could even pull apart, the door opened and Burt came in. "Oh, sorry, didn't realize you two were…" Burt trailed off as he saw Kurt pull away from Carole and wipe his eyes. "Kurt, what's wrong?" he asked immediately, his papa bear senses going into overdrive.

"It's nothing, dad, don't worry about it. Carole helped me," Kurt said. His father didn't look convinced, so Kurt added, "It's just…boy problems."

Burt looked him over until boy problems seemed to register in his head. "Oh," he said, his body relaxing a little bit as he realized Kurt wasn't in physical harm. He took off his hat to scratch his head and asked, "You know you can come to me if you need, you know, a male point of view. Well, another male point of view besides your own."

"I know."

"Though I'm glad Carole could help," Burt added quickly. Kurt smiled at how hard his dad was trying. He knew emotions really weren't his thing.

"I know, dad. Thank you." Burt looked down sheepishly at his feet for a few moments. Kurt watched him for a little while before he asked, "Dad? How did…how did you and mom get together?"

Burt gave a concerned look to Kurt and then one to Carole. They both had obviously lost a spouse before and they knew the stories, but it wasn't something they talked about often in front of each other. After Carole just gave him a reassuring nod, Burt sat down on the bed, Kurt sandwiched between his two parents.

"Your mom and I met in high school," he said. He corrected himself, "Actually, we probably met before that, we just didn't really meet until high school. A mutual friend introduced us at a party. She was a year younger than me; she was really into art and I was really into football, so we never had a reason to meet. I don't think anyone really expected us to get along."

After a small sigh, Burt admitted, "I definitely didn't see it coming. But one day I just realized that I liked her. This was after months of friendship, mind you, so by that time, all of our friends kind of expected it, too. I asked her out and she said no." Burt laughed and continued, "Eventually she agreed on a date to homecoming, and before we knew it…we were in love.

"You know the rest. I went to the JC, she went to University of Lima, I took over the family business, and she started to teach. Then you came along and, well, that was that," Burt said, giving Kurt a bittersweet smile. Kurt looked so much like her and had inherited so much from her, more than Kurt probably even realized.

"So…you were friends first," Kurt said slowly.

Burt nodded. Carole agreed she was friends with Christopher first, too. Kurt nodded, trying to process all of that information.

"Why didn't mom want to date you right away? Did she not like you?" Kurt asked. It was hard to imagine his strong mother just caving to date his dad because he asked her a few times.

"Nah, she admitted she liked me as well," Burt said. "Your mom was just a lot like you; always worried about the future. She was worried we'd break up and stop being friends."

Kurt let out a strangled, choked off laugh in shock and shook his head. "Oh my god," he muttered, putting his head in his hands.

Burt looked over at Carole, who didn't say anything, but instead rubbed a comforting hand on Kurt's back and made a small noise of sympathy. Burt then looked down at his son as Kurt looked back up and then back down at his lap. No one said anything for a few seconds, until Burt finally braved a question. "Is this…can I guess…is this something to do with Noah, then?"

Kurt peered back up at his father with a thoughtful look, slightly confused, enough so that Burt was worried he had pushed something that hadn't happened. "Yeah," Kurt said after a split second. "Yeah, it is."

After a small look at Carole, Burt looked back at his son. "He told you he liked you….and you don't know what to do?" Burt guessed as he looked at Kurt.

Kurt looked surprised at that. "Yeah. He sang a song in Glee club today about it—how did—" Kurt cut himself off and shook his head. He wasn't sure he wanted to know why his dad knew Noah liked him; it was bad enough seeing all of their friends looking relieved at Noah's performance. "I guess I'm more like mom than I thought, huh?" Kurt said, wiping briefly at his nose as he smiled ruefully.

"You don't know the half of it, kid," Burt said, wrapping an arm around Kurt. Kurt easily rested his head against his dad's shoulder, closing his eyes for a few moments as things started to finally feel calm at least a littler calmer.

"I just don't want to hurt him," Kurt said quietly. It was one sentence, but it packed a lot of meaning for him. Kurt didn't want to hurt Noah any more than he already had, any more than how the world had hurt him just by making him a Puckerman. He didn't want Noah to be hurt if Kurt wasn't interested, and he didn't want to hurt Noah by losing interest in the future, or realizing they worked better as friends. And what if Noah realized he could do better? What if he stuck with Kurt when he could easily have a beautiful wife and 2.5 kids and a normal life, something Kurt couldn't give him? Kurt knew being with a man was a risk, and he had seen all the ways people looked at him and Blaine in public; why would Noah choose that life when he actually liked girls?

What if Noah hurt himself by staying with Kurt because he was his friend, not because he still loved him in that way? It may have seemed farfetched, but Kurt wasn't sure they should take that chance.

"I know you don't," Burt said quietly as Carole put her arm back around Kurt. Kurt looked over at her and gave her a small smile and Burt sighed as he pushed back some hair that had fallen on his son's face.

Burt would be the first person to admit that Kurt could be brat. Of course he could; he was human and a teenager at that. Despite being mature for his age his whole life, he still had his moments. And even with that in mind, Kurt had the biggest heart Burt ever had seen, just as big as his mom's, maybe even bigger. He had been hurt so much by life, by the people around him, by his own family, and so much of it was just for how he was born. Burt couldn't deny that it took him much longer to stop trying to force this concept of straight male things on Kurt than he wished he did. He always loved him, of course, but he spent so much time when Kurt was younger, trying to make Kurt into something else.

Yet Kurt was constantly thinking of others. He never even thought of needing to properly forgive his dad. He never questioned forgiving Noah after they made up. And Burt didn't know the whole story, but he knew his son felt awful about how things ended with Blaine. Kurt could whine like no other, but then turn around and offer up the sweetest smile and thoughtful, caring questions.

He shook his head. "You're too nice, kiddo," Burt said with a small smile. "Sometimes you have to be selfish, though. And this is one of those times." Kurt frowned and Burt explained, "You can't think about how this will effect Noah. You have to think about what you want, what you feel. Not about the future or what this could lead to or what anyone else wants. This is about your feelings. Okay?"

Kurt looked at his dad as he bit his lip. Slowly, Kurt started to nod and Burt nodded back. "Okay," Kurt said softly. He pulled his head off of Burt's shoulder. "So, love is about feeling calm with someone, and I need to think about what I feel." Kurt nodded, still looking apprehensive. "Okay. Any other tips? Should I bring Finn in on this?" Kurt asked, a bit of his dry sense of humor peeking out.

"Huh?" Kurt looked to the door to see that Finn had been walking by. Kurt let out a small laugh at the coincidence as Burt and Carole remained silent. They wanted Kurt to make the decision to include Finn or not.

"Just talking about the whole situation…" Kurt picked at a nonexistent piece of lint on his sweatpants, "…with Noah."

Finn's eyes grew a bit larger as he looked at his family. "I swear I didn't tell them," he said without any thought.

"I know, Finn; I told them," Kurt said with a small sigh. "Well, I told Carole. Dad guessed."

Finn took a few steps into the room with a slightly raised eyebrow. "He guessed that you and Puck made out after prom?"

Kurt turned bright red while Carole put a hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle and Burt's eyes widened and then narrowed. "…No, I meant he guessed Noah told me about his feelings," Kurt said through a tight jaw.

"So you kissed him and you still don't know how you feel?" Burt asked.

"I was not in my right mind," Kurt said before putting his hand up to stop his dad's next question, "And I do not wish to discuss it further." He didn't need his dad to know that he had gotten completely wasted post-prom.

Finn sat down at the edge of the bed and offered up an apologetic smile. "Sorry for that, dude."

"It's fine," Kurt said with a dismissing wave of his hand. "Thanks for the apology, though. And for not telling them what happened." He smiled softly at Finn and asked, "So, do you have any big brother-y advice for me?"

"I'm younger than you," Finn pointed out with a grin. Kurt was normally the one who pointed that out.

"I know," Kurt said, well aware that Finn normally said that to him. He sighed after a moment and said, "But seeing as I don't know what's happening and I've only dated one person, maybe you have some words of wisdom on this subject that I don't."

Finn looked at his parents and then shrugged. "I say go for it," he said. At Kurt's eye roll, Finn insisted, "I'm serious!" He looked at their parents again and then back at his brother. "Look, you guys are good as friends; I don't get why that wouldn't work as boyfriends or whatever. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. You guys always find ways to get back together, so why not?"

Kurt shook his head. "Thanks. Not quite the advice I was looking for, but thanks," Kurt said. He wasn't one who liked being told what to do; he still liked making decisions himself. But, in all honesty, he also knew he wasn't going to discount what Finn had said.

After a moment of thought, Kurt wiped under his eyes and pushed his still wet hair back. "Well. I have a lot to think about. But thank you all." He gave them a weak but genuine smile before grabbing the People magazine that had been pushed behind him. Wanting to get the subject off of him and his love life, Kurt eagerly opened the magazine to one of the pages Carole had bookmarked for him.

"Oh, Taylor Lautner," Kurt gasped out at the sight of set pictures of Taylor as Jacob in the first Breaking Dawn installment. "You know me so well," Kurt grinned at Carole, giving her a nudge. With a sigh he lamented, "I cannot believe we have to wait for November to see him on the big screen again."

Burt, recognizing that his son wanted to change subjects, pointed at the picture of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison on set and asked, "Doesn't she get with that guy?" He had watched the first three movies when Kurt and Carole had a marathon, but he still didn't quite get the storyline.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, father, because she's an idiot. Bella thinks someone stalking her is romantic and she wants to be a vampire because, again, she's an idiot. Edward's rich, yes, and Jacob is troubled, sure, and doesn't have the best home situation, unlike the Cullens. Regardless, she should be with her tall, dark, and handsome long time best friend with abs and muscles to die for."

Kurt made a small triumphant noise and looked back down at his magazine. Of course, the rest of his family avoided making eye contact until, slowly, realization made its way to Kurt's face. "Oh my god," he said, putting his head in his hands.

"You're Bella Swan," Finn snickered.

That made Kurt whip his head back up. With a glare, Kurt brought up the magazine and slapped Finn on the arm. "Do! Not! Call! Me! Bella!" Even after a couple more light smacks, Finn was still laughing. Carole couldn't help but let out a few giggles and soon Burt was joining in, too. Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, but eventually gave in with a small smile.

—

Normally, Noah spent Fridays at Kurt's house. His mom rarely had to work Fridays, so the Puckermans would all go to temple together, always picking up Mae's mom on the way there. Then Noah would head over to Kurt's house, eagerly jumping in for family dinners or board games or whatever until they went to Kurt's room for a movie. Sometimes Noah would skip the Friday night service and go on Saturday morning with his nana instead, but without fail, he was at Kurt's house on Friday nights. Noah wasn't one for routines, but he loved that one.

Of course, after the mess he made, Noah obviously stayed in that Friday night while Sara was at a friend's house. He and his mom ordered in some Chinese food and sat in front of the TV in their pajamas, but thankfully he convinced Mae that they didn't need to watch a Jewish movie since he'd seen most of her favorites a million times. He wasn't sure he could handle a viewing of Schindler's List at the moment. The two settled on an old Friends rerun as they ate their meals mostly in silence.

"So," Mae finally started, "Why no Kurt's tonight? You didn't get into another fight, did you?"

Noah's jaw tightened, because he honestly wasn't sure what the right answer was. He eventually settled on, "Not exactly."

Mae gave him a concerned look. "Noah…" Puck sighed and closed his eyes; he didn't like concerning his mom with this stuff since she had enough shit to deal with. Plus, if they talked all openly about this…well, Noah wasn't out or anything to her, and add in the fact that Kurt was as Gentile born as they came and of course it wasn't bound to go well.

"It's nothing," Noah said, opening his eyes again. Before his mom could insist, he said, "I'm fine." Of course, Mae didn't believe a word of that, but she just made a small hmmph and looked back to the TV.

The two stayed silent for some time, neither too enraptured in what was on TV or on their plates. As Noah thought about what had happened that day—what he finally did—he felt a sickening feeling in his stomach. He looked over at his mom and then back at the TV, wondering just how she would even react if Kurt said yes.

Though Mae wasn't as close to Kurt as Noah had been to Kurt's mom, they still were like mother and son. Mae fussed over him and cooked for him and gladly took him in when he needed a place to stay; hell, once Kurt spent Hanukkah with them when his dad had to go out of town. And Mae knew he was gay and never had a problem with it. She even knew he had a boyfriend for some time and would ask how the relationship was going when they made small talk.

But would Mae accept her own son dating a guy?

"Ma," Noah finally said softly. She looked over at him and he quietly asked, "You want me to marry a Jewish girl…right?"

Mae's eyes narrowed a bit in thought. "Well…if you marry a girl, she better be Jewish; you know the kids inherit the religion through their mom," she said.

It was something his mom had repeated several times, but it was only then that Noah realized an important word was thrown in there.

"If?" Noah asked.

She shrugged. "I always figured if you married Kurt, you'd at least raise the kids to be Jewish, even if he didn't convert. The laws don't really exist for same-sex couples, do they?" She said this so nonchalantly, like she had just been talking about the weather or something, and then simply popped a piece of chicken in her mouth as she turned back to the TV.

Noah just gaped at her. How did she just say something like that like it wasn't a big deal, like it didn't have a huge effect on his life?

Mae looked back over at Noah as he continued to gape and couldn't help but smirk at him. "What?"

"What do you mean, what? I should be the one what-ing you!" Noah said as he indignantly waved his hand around.

"Noah, you're going to get orange chicken sauce everywhere," she said. Noah looked at the chopsticks in his hand which was dripping with the thick, sweet sauce. Noah rolled his eyes and put the chopstick back in the plate on the TV tray in front of him. "Thank you," she said, "Now you can gesture however you want."

Noah rolled his eyes and just crossed his arms. "So, are you going to explain why you know about—what you know about—me and Kurt?"

Mae sighed and put down her own chopsticks as well. "I don't know what all you want me to say," she said simply. "One day, I just thought of you and Kurt as best friends. Then, the next, it was like a piece of wool had been removed from my eyes. I mean, I always knew he was gay—obviously—but I never thought of you two together. Not until a couple years back."

Mae looked over at her son with a small smile. "How much do you remember of Kate?"

Noah looked down in thought before looking back at his mom. "Not a whole lot," he admitted. True, he had some strong memories involving her—reading Harry Potter, getting tucked in at sleepovers, the amazing waffles she made—but so much of it was filtered through a child's gaze and he wasn't sure how accurate it was. He could remember how she looked and how kind she was, but so many details had been lost over the years, and so many memories were clouded with what he had been doing with Kurt at the time, not what Mama Kate was like.

"Of course. You were so young when all that happened; I'm sure Kurt doesn't remember as much as he wants," she said with a thoughtful nod. "But there was this way Burt looked at her, this way that just showed how much he loved her—I wouldn't have been surprised if he never tried to move on from her, he was always so in love…" Mae sighed and continued, "One day I just saw you look at Kurt that same way."

Puck was silent as he thought over it. A love like Mama Kate and Burt? He never really thought of it before, but he always loved their relationship, so being compared to that? That was…a lot to take in. Of course, Noah just always liked their relationship because it was so different from the toxic one his own parents had, so maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as he thought. Still, his stomach kind of warmed at the idea.

"You know he looks at you the same way," Mae said, smiling sympathetically as Noah looked back to her. "He looks so much like her—it's almost like looking at a photo of her back in the day, just with a slightly different haircut."

That finally made Puck let out a small laugh. Mama Kate wore it short for years, not too far from Kurt's current length, but that and their eyes were about the only differences as far as looks went. While you could tell Burt and Kurt were related, Kurt really looked like a male version of his mom.

"Yeah…well, you may think he looks at me like that, but I don't think he feels the same way," Noah admitted. He never really talked to his mom so openly; it was kind of scary and weird, but he also really wanted someone to help in any way possible. "I sang for him today. At glee club," Noah said softly. "And he left…said he needed time. Whatever that means." Noah glumly looked back at his food and stabbed a piece of chicken rather violently and brought it to his mouth.

Mae looked over at her son as he ate, obviously waiting for some sort of reply from his mom. To be honest, though, Mae wasn't sure what to say; her own romantic life was far from perfect. It wasn't like she could bring in advice when her own marriage ended in tears and divorce papers and fights over the years about some waitress asking for child support.

If it wasn't for the Hummels being in her life, she really wasn't sure if she'd have made it through. Sometimes she still felt like a shell of a person, only working and working and working and trying to instill her kids with some Jewish faith, sometimes with too heavy of a brush. She'd never kid herself into thinking she was an amazing mother, but she shuddered to think of what kind of mom she'd be if she didn't have Burt's constant support over the years. Burt always had a job open for Noah and a home for Noah to run to when he needed space. Burt provided Sara with the best father figure anyone could grow up with, and thank the Lord above she probably couldn't even pick out her birth father from a line up, despite the fact Elijah had come back a couple of times. Burt was there while Mae was in a funk and then, very gently, pushed her out of that funk when it had gone on long enough. Yes, she owed so much to Burt Hummel, the man that kept her going and helped provide stability to her own fractured and fragile life.

Hell, just having Kurt in their lives had provided a lot. She saw her son, her sweet boy, without Kurt and it was not a look she liked. Cold-hearted, intentionally rude, ill-tempered…no, she did not like that at all. Noah was naturally a sweet and fun kid and always had been, but after everything he went through, he truly needed someone like Kurt, someone to help him remember the good in the world.

And Kurt without Noah? Well, she saw him around town once or twice during that time but knew better than to say hi to him. Even if she had the ability to greet him, that usual sweet, welcome air around him had been cold and bitter, angry and spiteful. No, Kurt wasn't Kurt without her son.

She loved both of them, both her son by birth and her son by relationship to Noah. She loved them separately and all that they brought to the world, but they were even better together. Her and Elijah together? Messy and broken and toxic. But her two boys? They were definitely better than the sum of their parts.

Finally, Mae let out a soft sigh. "You know how Kurt is," she said. Noah looked back over at her and she gave him a half-smile. "He needs to think this stuff through. Romantic as that song may have been, he needs to think it through." She took a drink of water and continued, "I don't know if he's realized how he feels—I don't even know how or when you found out, honestly—but you know he's going to take some time to process it; I'm sure you didn't accept it overnight, right? But when he does…well, I can't believe that he'll say anything but yes. It might take a while, but I'm sure he'll get there."

Slowly but surely, a small, hopeful smile formed on Noah's face. "Thanks, Ma," he said quietly. He still wasn't completely convinced that he hadn't just ruined his whole friendship, but he definitely felt better that at least his mom was more than approving of the possibility of their relationship.

Mae gently ruffled his mohawk. "You're welcome, bubbala." Noah smiled even more and ducked his head at that. He loved when his mom pulled out those Yiddish terms of endearment.

They ate the rest of their dinner in contented silence. Once they stored the leftovers and put the TV trays away, Mae gave him a slight smirk. "You didn't sing any Avril though, did you?"

Noah rolled his eyes as his mom laughed. Was anyone ever going to give that stuff a rest?

—

Kurt, despite what some may have thought, never watched Will and Grace when it still aired. Sometimes he'd see a bit of it when he flipped through channels, but the idea of actually watching it scared the crap out of him; what if people found out and assumed he was gay because of it? While he started coming to terms with it around the time the show started to end, Kurt still took two more years to finally come out to Noah, right before their freshman year officially started.

After coming out, Kurt started to watch episodes when it popped up in syndication. While a lot of it was cheesy and ridiculous, he actually liked a lot of what he saw. After all, who couldn't love Karen Walker? And through the help of some not-quite-legal sites, he managed to stream through the seasons the summer he and Noah spent apart. He had nothing better to do than binge watch while going through yet another growth spurt, anyways.

When he got to the finale, though, he felt like he had truly wasted his time. How did he watch a show that had given him so much laughter and such a great, fictional friendship, only for it to end with the titular friends not speaking for eighteen years?

Yes, they got back together in the end and yes, they had happily ever afters with their partners and their kids got together which was adorable. But really? How did years of friendship disappear like that?

Of course, that relationship seemed to just echo his own with Noah at the time. They were no longer talking, after all, and their relationship had to be stronger than one that started out as clumsily as Will and Grace's did. The idea of even a fictional friendship ending like that made his miserable summer even worse and he actually ended up crying over that freaking finale.

He hadn't thought about that finale in months, but when he finally managed to get to bed the night after Noah's revelation, Kurt was reminded of it. He dreamt of Noah and him never speaking again, of returning to their high school reunion in twenty years only for Noah to be barely recognizable, an angry look on his face as he looked at his former best friend. Kurt knew he was still hurting from what happened. Unlike both Will and Grace, they both were childless, dateless, and alone.

Despite not having memories of the last twenty years, it was so vivid of a dream that when Kurt woke up, it took a moment for him to realize it hadn't happened. He checked his phone for the date and time: 7:00 AM in May of 2011. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, well aware that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep despite how early it was.

After a small sigh, Kurt looked through his text messages, all of them from other glee club members, none from Noah…He winced at the memory of the dream and locked his phone before getting up. With a yawn and a stretch, Kurt brushed his teeth and washed his face before he grabbed his book bag and headed downstairs.

He put his book bag on the table and started to brew some coffee; he loved his nonfat mochas, but Kurt drank solely black coffee in the morning. As soon as it was ready, Kurt poured himself a mug and all but chugged it down, quickly filling up again once he was done. This time he just took a few sips and leaned back against the counter behind him. He knew he needed to go ahead and make breakfast, but he just ended up staring at the marble counter in front of him as he wondered what Noah was doing, unable to focus on anything else.

After several minutes, he finally looked up at the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Kurt gave a weak smile as his dad's frame appeared. "Hey, dad," Kurt said.

"Hey, kiddo," Burt said. "I'm not used to seeing you up so early." He, of course, knew what was most likely the cause and asked, "Couldn't sleep?"

"Bad dream," Kurt muttered. He and his dad had a lot of experience with those ever since his mom died; he was often prone to stress dreams before finals and nightmares about losing more members of his family. Part of why he kept cuddling with Noah over the years was because he almost never had those dreams when he was there. Almost.

"Wanna talk about it?" Burt asked.

Kurt shook his head. "It was stupid," he said.

His dad gave him a supportive clap on the shoulder, Kurt resting his fingers gently over his hand for a few moments before letting him go. Burt then moved to pour himself a cup of coffee and start another brew; he had a feeling Kurt would be having a lot of it.

After a few minutes, Carole came downstairs. She also offered nearly the same questions Burt did and Kurt answered in a similar manner. As great as it was getting their opinions the night before, he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it with them anymore. Of course, since he had so little to offer besides that at the moment, he wasn't sure what he could talk about with them.

"What should we do for breakfast, huh?" Carole asked in an attempt to change the subject. "Eggs? Waffles?"

Kurt wrinkled his nose and shook his head at the mention of waffles. That was Puck's favorite dish, and he loved it, too, but he didn't really want something that made him think of him right then. Too much sugar made him antsy anyways.

After a beat, Burt suggested, "How about biscuits and gravy? To help you get through your studying?"

Kurt couldn't stop himself from smiling; that was one of his all-time favorite breakfast foods. While he didn't condone emotional eating, he couldn't deny that a fluffy, buttermilk biscuit smothered in a thick gravy sounded amazing. "No sausage, though," Kurt warned, "Unless we have those turkey crumbles."

Burt rolled his eyes but agreed as he and Carole set out the ingredients. Kurt volunteered to help, but they said he should focus on studying. Which, yeah, was probably accurate. He sighed and nodded before going to the table and pulling out his supplies.

By the time the food was done, Finn had come down and Kurt had managed to do some studying for his anatomy final; he, luckily, wasn't required to take chemistry or physics, and anatomy was mainly memorizing a whole bunch of facts, which he was good at. He didn't have an English, psychology, or US history final, since both of those were classes he took the AP test in as a replacement for the final, and he never worried about French, especially since his time at Dalton made him push past what he had been learning the past month or so at McKinley. His home ec class didn't have a final, so that only really left math to study for.

Great.

He pulled out his math notebook before grabbing a plate while the food was still hot. "This is so good," Kurt said, speaking with his mouth partly full, a true rarity from him.

"Well, thank you for the Finn-like delivery," Carole teased, which made all of them laugh.

"I think I'm rubbing off on you," Finn teased.

Before Kurt could even swallow and defend himself, Burt said, "I don't know, he's always been like that around biscuits and gravy."

Kurt nodded in agreement. Finn pointed out, "He is wearing sweats outside of his room, though."

Kurt immediately fired back, "Making a fashion critique? I think someone else should worry about who's rubbing off on whom."

"What're you studying next?" Finn asked after an eye roll at Kurt's joke.

"Math," Kurt said. "But I think I need to go for a walk or something after this; this is a lot of calories. You can come if you want."

Finn rolled his eyes yet again, but he admitted, "A walk sounds good, as long as you don't slather me with sunscreen this time." Kurt stuck his tongue out at Finn; Kurt's obsession with proper skincare made him a bit mothering when it came to proper SPF protocol, especially after Noah's skin cancer scare the year before. "I could probably use some help with math, though, if you want to study together."

Kurt looked down at his plate for a moment then back up. Then he cleared his throat and painfully admitted, "I don't think we're in the same math level, though."

"Really? What class are you in?" Finn asked. He was just in college algebra since it got him a college credit and was easier than pre calc/trig. A lot of juniors were in his class, but maybe Kurt was in pre-calc; it seemed like the sort of thing he'd take since he took all those AP and honors classes.

Kurt blushed a bit and muttered, "Algebra two…"

Finn blinked. "Isn't that a sophomore level class?"

"Well…most of my classmates are sophomores, yes," Kurt said, being very careful with his words. "I had to…take the remedial math class my freshman year, so I'm kind of behind." At Finn's incredulous look, Kurt just defended himself with, "Math is hard!"

"Dude, I'm not, like, laughing at you. It's just funny since you're so…academic, usually. It's nice to see you not be awesome at something," Finn said with a slight laugh.

After a moment's thought, Kurt decided to take that as a compliment. "Thank you…At least it's not until the very last day of finals for me. And I only have one other final." He took another bite of his breakfast and swallowed before quietly saying, "Noah is the one that normally helps me study for this." For years both of them had not-so-jokingly decided that Noah would be the one to help Kurt with his taxes and his budget until he was rich enough to hire an accountant, and Kurt would keep Noah on top of his laundry and other chores. That was their plan for New York, but now, with that nightmare still fresh in his head, his stomach sank.

Burt looked over at his kid then back at his wife. He wasn't sure how to respond to that; it was already awful how he looked just as despondent over what had happened as he did the year before. He wanted to point out that it wasn't like their friendship was over, but he figured that was just a bit too blunt for Kurt at the moment.

They were all silent for a bit before Finn, in an attempt to lighten the mood, simply said, "I bet Dalton's math was harder, so you're probably, like, super ready for this test."

Kurt did have to smile a bit at that. "There's some truth to that statement." He shook his head. "I just don't get imaginary numbers; I never even had an imaginary friend." He thought math was supposed to be practical, but what was the practicality of i? Once Kurt had a few more bites of his breakfast, he frowned. "I just need to pass and then I'll be done with math. I can't wait to burn that stupid graphing calculator."

Burt gave his son a look while Carole let out a small laugh. "We've discussed this, Kurt. You can't actually burn it; that's not safe."

Kurt shrugged nonchalantly. "Still going to do it."

The rest of breakfast went a lot more smoothly. Kurt actually made the effort to get dressed and do his hair afterwards and then went back down to the table to look at his math study guide.

It was hard to study off of problems he already did. Whereas studying for anatomy was a lot of flash cards and the like, this was just trying to understand these concepts, concepts that, unlike allegories and metaphors and symbolism, just didn't come naturally to him. Noah always found ways to make this understandable to him, slowly breaking down the problem and showing him his thought process. While Kurt normally thought things through before he did them, he was never particularly good at logic, not like Noah was.

He sighed and ran his hands over his face, not sure how to even approach studying for the test. For some time, he just sat there, trying to breath calmly. Kurt didn't look up until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it some more?" Burt asked. He still wasn't sure what different advice he could give than the night before, but he also knew Kurt normally just liked having someone listen to him.

"Not really." Kurt shook his head and ran his hands over his forehead. "I just wish he could've waited until a better time; I have so many other things to think about. And I don't want things to be weird on my birthday." He was turning eighteen; for years, he had given Noah crap for being younger than him by a few months, and turning legal before him was going to make it even better.

"He probably just reached his boiling point," Burt said. Kurt raised his eyebrows questioningly and Burt explained, "It's not easy holding that stuff in. Sometimes you just gotta let it out, and I think Noah just got to the point where it burst out of him. It might seem inconvenient, but…" Burt shrugged. He honestly had agreed with Finn the night before and just wanted his son to at least give it a try. He knew better than to just say that, though.

"And don't worry about your eighteenth; I'm sure things will be fine by then," Burt added. Kurt nodded, feeling a bit better. He wasn't sure how his dad managed to make him feel like those words were the absolute truth, but it was hard to not believe him.

Kurt looked back at his algebra study guide and sighed. He had to remember that he and Noah were not Will and Grace, even if Noah's baby drama the year before did almost create a Will and Grace style falling out. They were their own people, damn it, and he was a lot cuter than Will Truman, thank you very much.

—

Despite Mae's words of comfort, Noah ended up tossing and turning for hours, which caused him to sleep in well past noon in exhaustion. He laid there for a while before finally pulling himself out of bed and going down to the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal and two Kosher hot dogs. He was still a growing boy, after all.

Noah was working on the cereal when Sara walked in, looking at her phone. A few weeks earlier, Mae got her a phone and put her on their family plan. Sara had started a lot of after school and summer activities, and between Noah and Mae's conflicting schedules, they needed access to the young girl to make sure they could find her. It was primarily for that, but Sara had definitely taken advantage of the unlimited texting plan.

"Someone's finally up," she said dryly when she finally pocketed her phone. Noah just grunted and she rolled her eyes. "Such an excellent conversationalist."

It was Noah's turn to roll his eyes. Sometimes Sara's personality was so obviously influenced by Kurt that it was slightly terrifying. "Good morning. Or afternoon. Whatever, you know what I meant," Noah said, not feeling like getting a lecture or more sass. "How was your sleepover?"

"Good," Sara answered as she joined her brother at the table. "Jade said I could spend the night again tonight as long as Ma's cool with it."

Noah nodded. It was nice seeing Sara making some friends. She had some trouble in the past, mainly just some people being shitty about her lack of money and her slightly aggressive Puckerman nature. It seemed the girls she met through the volleyball program at the local Y were a good fit for her.

"Yeah, we might go to the mall. There's a really cute scarf at H&M that I think Kurt would love for his birthday," Sara said, looking back nonchalantly at her phone. "Have you thought about what to get him?"

Noah closed his eyes for a brief moment to gather his thoughts. After a couple of moments, he opened them and shrugged. "I have some ideas. Not sure what I'll get him, though." It wasn't like he even knew if he was invited.

He poured the rest of his cereal down his throat and wrapped the hot dogs in a paper towel. "I'm gonna finish upstairs," he said, grabbing his leftover food and heading back to his room.

After eating, Noah spent the next few hours trying to distract himself. He tried studying, but that was no good, especially without Kurt there to help with his grammar and vocab flashcards. It didn't help that he kept imagining how Kurt's eyebrows would press together in that cute way whenever he tried to solve for x. And hearing him rant about imaginary numbers was always funny, at least to him.

After that failure, he played some Mario Kart, but that was no good, either. It wasn't fun when he couldn't talk about Star Worlds with someone, or laugh at Kurt's dumb jokes about Rainbow Road. While Noah was the ultimate Mario master, Kurt was pretty kick ass as Princess Peach, and they always got super competitive. There had definitely been random tickle attacks from both sides, and Noah was pretty good at moving at just the right angle to block Kurt's view.

So he tried playing guitar. Of course, he should've seen how that wouldn't help, either, since the chords that were still on his brain were the ones from that dumb Taylor Swift song. Noah could still clearly imagine Kurt's face, how it got even paler and pinched as he looked ready to cry. That was not the face of someone who felt the same way back.

Resisting the urge to throw his guitar, Noah finally settled on cleaning his room. Thankfully he didn't get far enough that it reminded him of Kurt before Sara knocked on his door.

"Sup, munchkin?" Noah asked, trying to act a bit more normal than earlier. Well, as normal as it was for him to be cleaning his room by his own choice on a Saturday evening.

"Dinner?" she asked. "It's six o'clock."

Noah looked at his clock, both surprised at how late it was and surprised that it was still only six. "Oh, yeah. Sure. Pasta alright?"

About half an hour later, they were eating spaghetti and marinara. They didn't say much, but soon Sara got a text that made her squeal in excitement.

"Ma says I can go back to Jade's tonight!" Sara quickly texted Jade and, before Noah knew it, he was being pulled out the door in order to drop Sara off at her friend's house. Once they got there, Sara all but burst out of the car, just stopping to give Noah a quick goodbye hug.

And then Noah was alone again.

He started driving back to his place, but soon decided against it. Going back to his empty room seemed pretty awful. Instead, Noah turned on the radio and just drove around town as the sun started to set. There was something oddly peaceful and free about driving just for the sake of driving. It was a nice way to clear his head

His mind didn't stay clear forever, though. When he stopped for some gas, he found his thoughts going back, yet again, to Kurt. Kurt hadn't texted or called him or messaged him or anything. And Noah had been giving him space back. Still, even though it was only a bit over 24 hours, he was miserable. How was he supposed to give him space?

And why should he give him space? Space didn't work for them. It just made them alone with their thoughts. Everyone was telling him to give Kurt space, but it just didn't make sense to him. They were supposed to talk about their feelings and shit, not just sit around alone. If Kurt was going to make a decision about their relationship, shouldn't Noah be there to help make it? Shouldn't it be a mutual decision, not just something Noah waited for?

He knew Kurt needed time to process things on his own, but it had been well over a day. Noah needed to know where he was at and then, then maybe he'd be able to rest.

So, with the sun set and a full tank of gas, Noah found himself driving yet again without a thought. Kurt had only lived there for a few months, but Noah didn't need to think to find Kurt's house.

—

After a lot of studying and a nice walk around the neighborhood with Finn, Kurt went back to his room and turned on his television to relax a bit. Not too long after, his dad and Carole came by to tell him they were on their way to date night. "Have fun!" Kurt said, smiling at them.

"We will," Burt said. "Are you going anywhere tonight?"

Kurt shook his head. "No. I really just want a quiet night in. Spa day—or night—it up."

"Okay," Carole said. They both looked a bit concerned, but, thankfully, they both ended up telling him goodbye and to call them if need be.

"I will," Kurt agreed, laughing a bit as his dad told him not to wait up.

A few minutes later, Finn came by and knocked on his open door. "Hey, I'm going to Rachel's to study," he said. Kurt nodded and Finn awkwardly adjusted his feet before asking, "Wanna come with? She said you can."

Kurt made a face; he knew right away that Rachel would just be using it as an excuse to talk about Noah. "Thanks, but no thanks. I really don't need to be around the two of you 'studying,'" Kurt said, putting air quotes around the last word. Finn gave his goofy little half-grin and Kurt shook his head with a small smile of his own. "Besides, I want a spa night anyways; I normally wait until after finals, but the airplane really dried me out." They both knew that wasn't the only reason, but Finn was nice enough not to point that out. "Thank you for the offer, though. I really appreciate it. And…and I hope you know that I'm happy for you and Rachel, Nationals or not. I'm happy you're happy."

"Thanks," Finn said with a pretty big smile on his face. He cleared his throat and mentioned, "I hope you know that I want you to be happy, no matter what happens with…well, you know." Kurt's throat tightened a bit, so he just nodded in response and looked back down at his lap. After a few seconds Finn slowly added, "I promise I won't tell Rachel anything."

Kurt smiled at Finn, "I never doubted it."

The brothers said their goodbyes and soon Kurt heard the garage door opening and then closing. The night was so quiet that Kurt could even hear the faint sounds of Finn's car driving away. Once that sound faded away, Kurt let out a long breath as he let his head hit the pillow behind him.

God, this sucked.

He was really lucky about his finals situation, since his studying was not going well. Whenever he tried, his thoughts went back to Noah over the smallest things, like how Noah had to lecture him about not drawing doodles as he tried to explain math concepts, or how they'd take breaks to watch dumb reruns on TV Land. He probably got more done without Noah there, but he missed their study breaks and their snacks and, well, he just missed Noah.

Kurt had waited for a text or a call or anything, something to let him know that Noah was okay, but nothing came. It was probably a good thing, though, since Kurt still didn't know what to say or how he felt about it at all.

Kurt rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand hard enough that he saw stars. With a sigh, he slowly rolled back up and went to his bathroom to start a bath. Two hot washes in a row was going to wreak some havoc on his skin, but he truly needed it. He poured in some lavender scented bath salts and put on playlist of some calm, indie music to help him relax. Once it was full, Kurt stepped into his warm bathtub and closed his eyes, just trying to get his brain to stop running in circles for at least a minute.

About half an hour later, Kurt was out of the tub and fully lotioned up from his neck down to his freshly pumiced toes. He let out a small yawn and put on his sweats before going to his mom's old vanity to put on a peeling mask; it was always best to detoxify and then moisturize with a rich mask, at least in his opinion. Once it was rubbed in, he put his whole music library on shuffle and went back to his bed to hum along to whatever came up.

After some Gaga and some Britney, "Best Years of Our Lives" came on shuffle. Kurt groaned and hit next, only to see some song he didn't know very well. Kurt squinted and read the artist's name, "The Partridge Family?" He wrinkled his nose a bit; he had some weird music he had collected from both his parents, including stuff that he was pretty sure were even oldies for them, and not the awesome stuff like Dusty Springfield.

Kurt was about to hit next when the verse started. "I'm sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream, then all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain. Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head and spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread, 'I think I love you!'" Kurt's eyebrows rose and he slowly put down his iPhone as he continued to listen.

"This morning I woke up with this feeling I didn't know how to deal with, and so I just decided to myself I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it. And didn't I go and shout it when you walked into my room? 'I think I love you!'" Kurt leaned back against his pillows and looked up at the ceiling as the chorus started.

"I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for…I think I love you, isn't that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say that I've never felt this way," David Cassidy sang. Kurt swallowed roughly as those lyrics pounded inside of his head. Was that what was happening to him? He knew he was afraid of either of them getting hurt, but was he also possibly afraid of what his real feelings for Noah could lead to? How they could be something real, not just the fairy tale romances he planend in his head? His stomach fluttered and he rested his hand on it, frankly amazed that some song by a fake family band was actually showing some insight into his mind.

"I don't know what I'm up against, I don't know what it's all about. I got so much to think about—hey!"

Kurt snorted. "You've got that right, David." He sat up with his legs against his chest and moved his mouth a bit to test how dry the mask had gotten. He decided to start peeling as the song went on to the next verse.

"Believe me, you really don't have to worry. I only want to make you happy, and if you say, 'Hey go away' I will." Kurt stopped mid-movement, a small section of the mask peeling off his cheek. "But I think better still, I better stay around and love you. Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face—do you think you love me?"

As the song faded out on a chorus of I think I love yous, Kurt sat, stunned. What was that?

The song soon moved onto something from Into the Woods, and that was enough for Kurt to snap out of his stupor. He went back to that Partridge Family song and played it as he went to the mirror to properly peel away the mask he had on. As he did, he couldn't help but hum a little bit and move to the beat. What? It was catchy, and it was making him feel something.

While Kurt had his doubts about god and faith, there was still a part of him that believed in some semblance of destiny. There were coincidences and random happenstance, but there were some things that he had to believe were meant to be. He had to believe that, that things happened for a reason, just so he could at least feel like there was some order to the universe and it wasn't complete chaos. And that stupid song from a cheesy sitcom seemed to help that theory. Coincidence or not, that song was fun and catchy and really pertinent to his situation.

He repeated it yet again as he put on his favorite avocado based facial mask. He loved the cucumber smell to it and how much it moisturized his skin. Once that was settled on, he put on a timer for fifteen minutes and put the Partridge Family on repeat. Maybe that would help him finally think like the song talked about.

As Kurt waited for the timer to go off, he started to organize through his scrubs and toners and moisturizers. It didn't take much thought, so he could consider the truth in front of him yet again.

The problem, though, was that it was hard to think about how he felt about Noah when Noah wasn't even there. Until just a few days earlier, Kurt had never considered them as anything romantic. Of course people had made jokes about it over the years and yes, Kurt was well aware that their friendship was unusual, but he never considered them as anything more than friends, best friends. Their friendship was what made them happy and what worked with their own lives, their own special pasts and unique experiences. Noah held Kurt's hand after his mom died and never let go; Kurt cuddled with Noah when Elijah left the first time and never stopped. They were touchy feely, but he was that way with Mercedes and Tina, too. Heck, he wasn't at all touchy with Blaine, and didn't that mean something?

…Why wasn't he like that with Blaine?

Kurt stopped in his work, his eyebrows tense in thought. Sure, the height difference would make Kurt shift down in his seat when Blaine tried to wrap an arm around him, so it made sense that he didn't like that. But why was it so natural and safe to hold hands with Noah and spoon through the night and sit on his lap?

Well, it felt natural to do the same sort of things with his girls, right? So maybe he was just not comfortable with Blaine in the same way. Maybe he just saw another gay guy his age and assumed they'd work and did all he could to make something out of nothing.

But, no. He actually liked Blaine. And now, as friends, Kurt was having an amazing time with him. But, unlike with his other friends, he didn't want to hold his hand. While Kurt would insist time and time again that his friendships with the girls weren't that different from his friendship with Noah, they were. Noah was still a guy, and the fact that he wanted to hold hands with him and be close to him…it meant something, didn't it?

Before Kurt could think it through anymore, he heard a sound downstairs. He sat up pin-straight in his chair and looked towards the door as his heart thumped wildly in his chest. There was no way Finn was back yet, and his parents couldn't have possibly seen their movie and have dinner that quickly.

He was almost sure he had just been hearing things when there was a small creak. Kurt knew that creak. It was from one of the stairs. And, even with the music in the background, Kurt could hear steps heading towards his room.

In a panic, Kurt looked around the room for some sort of weapon. He settled for his twirling baton and got it on the ready as he heard the steps arrive in front of his door. Kurt gripped the baton and got ready to swing, only for the door to open and reveal Noah.

"Oh my god," Kurt said, putting a hand to his heart and lowering his baton. "You scared me."

Noah looked a bit apologetic, but mostly determined. "Sorry. I guess I should've texted you that I was coming." He smirked slightly and added, "Then you could've at least made your face look slightly less colorful."

Kurt spun back towards the mirror and looked at the mask on his face. He rolled his eyes. "Well, you've seen me in worse." They both smiled at each other through the mirror before Kurt's timer went off.

—

It took some time for Kurt to completely wipe off his face, and then, as he explained to Noah, he had to use some toner to make sure it all got off, and then re-moisturize on top of that. Noah never got Kurt's skin stuff, but he rarely got pimples or flakes or anything, so he never questioned it.

Instead, Noah just sat at the edge of Kurt's bed, waiting for Kurt to finish out his deliberate actions so they could talk. He seemed to be going slower than usual, but Noah could admit that it was possibly just all in his head.

Of course, Kurt would admit he was definitely being slower than usual, taking his time with his gentle circles and pats of oil. It was great to see Noah—just having him in the room was a nice, calming presence—but he knew that once they started actually talking, it wasn't going to be so calm.

However, eventually Kurt ran a comb through his still wet hair and turned his chair to look at Noah. He couldn't put it off any longer.

"So," Noah started. "You started your spa day early this school year."

"Yeah," Kurt said, his eyes boring into Noah's. "I think you can see why I needed a night of relaxation."

Noah looked down at his lap. "Yeah." He sighed quietly and looked back up at Kurt. "I'm not sorry about what I said. Or, well, sang."

"Good," Kurt said softly. "I don't want you to be." Kurt nervously fidgeted with his hands in his lap. "We should be honest with each other. Always. I just wished you had made it a bit less public."

"I know," he said. "I just thought…you always went on about wooing someone with a song. I thought you'd appreciate it."

"Yeah, well I might have realized when you don't know it's coming, it's kind of…not so fun. I kind of get where that Jeremiah guy was coming from—that guy Blaine sang to for Valentine's Day," Kurt clarified. His lips twitched into a smirk as he added, "The use of Taylor Swift probably didn't help."

Noah snorted. "I thought it was fitting, but Santana was actually the one who suggested it."

Kurt shook his head, still smirking. "I can't believe you worked with her," he said honestly. "I'm sure you have your reasons, though."

"I do."

They remained silent for a while. Neither of them seemed to know how to broach the real subject and the real crux of the situation. But after some time, Kurt finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quietly, looking down at his lap. Noah looked over at him and Kurt continued, "I'm sorry for leaving you. And hurting you. And…and I'm sorry." Kurt looked up at Noah, his blue eyes slightly wet. "You know I never want to hurt you, right? I just wanted some time to…process."

"Of course," Noah said. "I mean…I figured that was it. It did hurt, I'm not gonna lie. But I know you didn't mean it to."

Kurt nodded and bit his lip. He knew he had to accept that, whether he meant to or not, he had caused Noah some pain.

Noah sighed, "Look, I didn't come here to talk about what happened or what it meant or what I felt in that moment. That's over. Maybe I was a bit too rash, maybe I didn't think it through…I don't know. It felt like the right thing to do." He ran a hand through his mohawk before asking, "Do you feel the same way about me?"

Kurt looked back down at his lap and started batting his eyes quickly. "God, you've never been one to beat around the bush."

"Subtlety isn't my forte," Puck agreed with a small grin.

Kurt took a long, deep breath, butterflies flapping around wildly in his stomach. "I don't know," he said. "I…I just don't know." He looked back up at Noah and continued, "I can't stop thinking, just—what will that mean for us? Every time I try to think about it, my mind just starts questioning everything. What if you fall out of love? What if I do? What if we hurt each other?" A few tears left his eyes and he said, "I don't want to hurt you. And I don't want to get hurt, either. And…and I can't lose you again. I can't."

Noah immediately went over to Kurt and sat on the trunk he kept next to his vanity. "Hey, hey," he said calmly and quietly. Noah cupped Kurt's face with both hands and gently wiped those tears away as Kurt looked at him with wide, worried eyes. "I get it, okay? I understand. I don't want to lose you again, either." He gave Kurt a sad smile and asked, "Do you think I actually enjoyed last summer? I definitely didn't." Kurt let out a small noise and nodded, sniffing slightly.

"I totally get it," Noah said, talking very quietly. "But we're Kurt and Noah, Noah and Kurt! We'd find our way back together again." Kurt nodded and Noah let go of his face. This was all stuff Kurt knew, all stuff he and Carole and his dad had talked about the night before, but there was something comforting about hearing his best friend's confirmation that, no matter what, they would find their way back together.

"I hate that I made you feel this way," Noah whispered. "I really do. I just…hiding this wasn't helping either of us." With a half-smile, Noah admitted, "Once I realized how I felt about you, how much I denied things…" Noah shook his head with a laugh, "Kurt, it explained so many things. And I was denying everything for so long, for years, I'm sure. I just figured that we had a weird friendship, that holding hands and all of that didn't mean anything. And it doesn't, not really. None of that is proof of how I feel about you. That's why the jokes never bugged me—what did it matter? Holding hands didn't mean anything. And it still doesn't."

Noah gave Kurt one of the most adoring smiles Kurt had ever seen. "I don't know when it happened or how long it's been going on or how I got to this point, all I know is that I'm in love with you." Kurt remained silent, stunned speechless as he looked at his best friend.

So Noah just kept on talking, grabbing Kurt's hands as he did so. "Kurt, I know you keep thinking what if we break up…but what if we don't?" Noah asked. "What if…what if Quinn and Finn and Blaine and Lauren and everyone, what if those weren't the real things? What if this is it?" Kurt's heart fluttered in his chest, though he still remained silent. "We always said we'd be with each other forever. Maybe this is how."

Kurt swallowed and looked off to the side, unable to keep staring at Noah's passionate, hazel eyes, eyes that were pleading with him so desperately. "Kurt…say something. Please," Noah whispered, not sure he could handle the silence.

"I…" Kurt looked back at Noah and then closed his eyes as he lowered his head. "I just don't know how I feel. I'm sorry." He lifted his head back up again, afraid to see what was on Noah's face.

Impressively, Noah, while definitely tearing up a bit, wasn't nearly as visibly crushed as Kurt was afraid. "I understand," Noah said. "And I'll…I'll give you more time. I'll try to, at least."

He stood up and walked to Kurt's door. He turned around about half way there and said, "You know I'm here when you're ready to talk." Kurt nodded. Noah nodded back and walked a bit more before turning back to him. "And…and even if you're not ready by your birthday, I'll be there. I'm not missing another one. I might need some space if…if you decide…" Noah drifted off; he wasn't sure he could get himself to say the word no. "But I'll do my best to be there."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you. For…everything."

Noah gave Kurt a sad smile. "No problem. It's what I do. Just…keep me posted." He opened the door and turned back to add, "And let me know if you want help with your math. Or if you want to rant about parabolas."

Kurt shook his head. "See, I don't even know what that is."

Noah laughed quietly. "They're those equations that make the curve when graphed out."

"They should just called it the curved graph…thingie."

"Yeah, that sounds professional," Noah teased. "What do you want to call the quadratic formula? 'That one equation with the song'?"

"I just think parabola is a bit too close to parable. Which are two very different things." Kurt raised an eyebrow, "You know what a parable is, right?"

"Of course." Noah joked, "It's what Jesus fed the poor, right?"

Kurt couldn't help but let out a small laugh at that, the sound a bit surprised as it left his mouth. "Yep, that's it. You're right. Totally right." He wiped under his eyes and sniffed. "No one can make me laugh like you do," Kurt said. "Whenever I think you can't, you just…do."

Noah smiled a bit and shrugged. "Well, I guess I got years of practice." He didn't seem to notice the look that Kurt had on his face. A look full of curiosity, fear, and maybe a bit more of something else: realization.

"You always make me feel better," Kurt said quietly. The thought resonated inside of Kurt. Other people had comforted him successfully, true, but no one made him feel better than Noah did. "No one makes me feel like you do."

Noah shifted his weight a bit, looking back down at his feet. Kurt's tone had changed so suddenly, so dramatically, and he was nervous as to what that meant. "They don't?" Noah asked, afraid to look up.

Kurt shook his head before quietly saying, "No." Things were all suddenly rushing into his head, almost dizzying him as he tried to sort through them all. No matter how many sleepovers and shopping trips and long conversations into the night he had with Mercedes or Tina or Rachel, none of them made him feel the same way Noah did, and they never would. Blaine certainly didn't, either, and neither did Finn or anyone he knew, any friend he made, any crush he had. What Noah provided for him, what Noah did without even trying, it was all so different from what his friends provided. More focused. More intense. Much more.

Noah finally looked back over and noticed the odd look on Kurt's face. He still wasn't sure what it meant, but his heart started to pound in excitement. "How do I make you feel?" Noah asked softly, barely above a whisper, almost as if he was afraid that if he talked too loud, he would push Kurt back away.

It seemed to do the trick, since Kurt inched closer without seeming to realize it. Noah didn't realize he was moving in closer, too, like a magnetic pull as the door behind him stayed slightly ajar, unbeknownst to him. "Like I can do anything," he answered softly. "Like I'm whole…complete…" Kurt's lips slowly twitched up into a smile and he finished, "Calm."

Noah wasn't sure what Kurt was thinking, but his heart continued to race in excitement and hope. "Kurt…" he warned, not sure he would be able to handle it if Kurt turned away. Noah was half afraid Kurt would knock him over again, like he did when he went to Dalton, like he did when he walked out of the choir room.

But Kurt didn't do that. Because Kurt had realized they really weren't Will and Grace or Bella and Jacob. They were Kurt and Noah, and that made all the difference. So instead of letting Noah leave brokenhearted and himself sad and alone, Kurt had a different plan.

Kurt quickly walked over to Noah and, without a second thought, wrapped his arms around Noah's neck and kissed him.

As if following on instinct, Noah's arms wrapped around Kurt's waist, his hands on Kurt's lower back. Kurt pushed Noah back against the door, the door clicking shut behind them, a sound that fell on deaf ears. All either boy could hear and feel and see was the other, and as Kurt's tongue pressed against Noah's lips and Noah's hand trailed under Kurt's shirt, any thoughts of anything but that moment in time seemed of trivial importance.

The two eventually needed to part for breath, but kept pressing small kisses to the other, unable to fully break away, not after years of holding back all that was in them. Finally, Noah managed to pull away to look into Kurt's eyes, those eyes that were never quite blue, but never quite green, either. His hand cupped one of Kurt's flushed cheeks as he looked into those eyes, not even sure what he wanted to say when there seemed to be so much that needed to be said.

"Are you sure?" Noah finally asked in a hoarse whisper. Whether he meant the kiss or their relationship as a whole, he didn't clarify. But it didn't matter to Kurt, since the answer was the same no matter what.

"Yes," Kurt whispered breathlessly. His eyes were sparkling as he nodded slightly. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—I love you, Noah Puckerman; I'm in love with you," Kurt said, unable to stop the smile forming on his lips and the giddy, near-laugh that came out of his mouth.

Noah had never heard a more amazing sentence in his life.

"I love you, too," Noah said back. "God, I love you so much—" Instead of completing that thought, Noah just pressed his lips back against Kurt's, the hand that was at Kurt's cheek pushing back to find his hair. It was still damp as Noah lightly grabbed it, the sensation causing a small moan to sound from Kurt's mouth. Noah grinned against his lips as Kurt pressed even harder against him, his back flat against the door and the door knob pressed against his hip. It shouldn't have been a good feeling, what with the knob jabbing his side and the hard wood pressing uncomfortably into his back, but after after everything, Noah couldn't ask for anything better.

Of course, it did get better. Much, much better.

Kurt pulled away and stepped back. Before Noah could panic as to what that meant, Kurt looked up at Noah through his eyelashes. With his lips parted and the spark in his eyes, Kurt was giving him the sexiest look Noah had ever seen in his life, and that was saying something. Without a word, Kurt trailed one of his arms down Noah's side and, with a small smirk, locked the bedroom door.

Click.

Noah's heart hammered in his chest. Kurt didn't need words to express what he wanted, not when he was looking at Noah like that. Still, Noah needed that confirmation.

"Are you sure?" Noah asked again. He knew if they kept going where they were going, there was no way to back out, to uncross that line they were about to cross. Noah wanted to cross that line—he wanted to jump over that fucking line—but he needed Kurt to want that, too.

"God, yes," Kurt said. And he jumped that line, too, by jumping up into Noah's arms and wrapping his legs around his waist.

Noah wasted no time in getting Kurt back over to the bed, lightly dropping him off onto the mattress. Kurt moved up the length of the bed as Noah climbed on and kicked off his shoes and socks. He crawled over Kurt and their mouths soon hungrily found each other, the passion they shared making their after prom kisses look tame in comparison. Kurt's hands started to pull at Noah's shirt, and he gladly pulled away to take it off and throw it over the side; he didn't see where it landed as he was back on Kurt's mouth before it touched the ground.

And when Noah's hands found the hem of Kurt's T-shirt, Kurt pulled back and nodded, lifting up his torso just enough to help Noah get it off of him. All the insecurities he might have had of being shirtless for years seemed to disappear as Noah's lips found his neck. Kurt let out a high cry and bucked against Noah's hips. They both groaned at the sensation of their clothed erections pressing together, signaling they both needed to keep moving forward. As much as Noah wanted to explore Kurt's smooth skin and Kurt wanted to play with that nipple ring Noah had bragged about for years, they needed more right then and there. There would be time for exploring and experimenting and slow kisses and soft touches—years of time for that—but for now, they needed more. Much more.

Kurt's nails dug into Noah's shoulders as Noah's hands went to his belt. After some frenzied pulling, he somehow managed to calm down enough to undo the fastening and then unzip his pants. He pushed down his jeans part way, rolling himself and Kurt to their sides as he started to kick his legs in an effort to get them off. Kurt used that as his opportunity to kiss down to Noah's neck, licking over his skin before biting down over his pulse point. Noah growled at the sensation and got his pants off his ankles before moving onto Kurt's pants.

They both tried to undo the knot of his sweatpants at the same time, both failing before Kurt just pushed his thumbs under the top of them and pushed them down. Once they were off, Noah looked Kurt in the eye once again. "Should we get under the covers?" Noah asked. Kurt nodded enthusiastically and they both quickly climbed under Kurt's duvet before they each took off their underwear.

With a deep breath, Noah kissed Kurt again and moved back on top of him. Their cocks rubbed against each other, creating an amazing amount of friction that made Kurt's eyes roll back for a moment. "Fuck," Kurt said without thinking, and that word coming out of his innocent friend's mouth just made Noah rock even harder against him. He pushed down harder, rocking against his friend's hips, only for his cock to press past Kurt's balls and rub against his crack.

Noah paused and looked at Kurt. He wanted that so bad, wanted to be inside of Kurt and be with him and make him feel good, so good—he knew how good it could feel with just Santana's strap on, and Noah was sure he could make Kurt feel even better—but he wasn't going to push things. Kurt had gone on for years about waiting for the right moment and the right guy—his soulmate.

So when Kurt spread his legs and begged, "Please," Noah knew what he meant, how he felt about Noah, how he felt about them as a couple. And if his heart wasn't already pounding, it definitely would've been fluttering at top speed at that realization.

"Of course," Noah said. "Do you want me to—?"

Kurt shook his head and reached over to his bedside nightstand. He opened up the top drawer and pulled out the lube Noah had given him, now over half-empty from his own use. Noah couldn't help but grin at that and Kurt said, "I'll stretch myself—I can be faster." As much as he wanted to feel Noah's fingers stretch him open, he wanted to feel Noah's cock inside of him sooner and he didn't want to coach him through this, not when he could quickly prepare himself efficiently. He had practiced pretty damn frequently since that first time in his bathtub.

Noah nodded and rubbed Kurt's thigh as Kurt bent his legs. Kurt poured some lube onto his fingers and rubbed them together quickly to warm up the liquid. Noah waited, unsure of what to do, but then Kurt's hand was sliding under the blanket, and Noah just had to pull back the blankets to watch.

Kurt licked his lips and nodded, as if to say it was fine, and Noah gave his cock a firm stroke, quickly taking in the sight of Kurt's erection, hard and heavy where it laid against his stomach. But just a second later, his eye was drawn to where Kurt's fingers circled around his rim, lubing himself up. Noah watched, entranced, as Kurt slowly pushed a finger in, the digit disappearing inside him knuckle by knuckle. He looked back at Kurt's face to make sure he was okay and then looked back to find Kurt pumping that finger in and out of himself. Before Noah knew it, Kurt was pushing in a second, and he watched in amazement as Kurt mewled quietly, spreading those fingers around and scissoring them with delight.

"Jesus," Noah muttered. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined Kurt all flushed in the face as he fucked himself happily with his fingers.

Kurt opened his eyes and looked over at Noah, his eyes traveling down his torso and widening as he saw his hard cock. "Oh god," Kurt said, his mouth suddenly very dry. He had never seen Blaine's or anyone else's in person, not in that state, but that…that had to be bigger than average, right? "You're so big," Kurt gasped out, pressing in a third finger and quickly grinding down on it. He looked back up into Noah's smirking eyes and panted, "I need that in me—fuck!" He'd never had anything but his fingers inside of him before, but he just knew he needed Noah in him. Soon, as Kurt curved his fingers, his back arched and he moaned, obviously finding that spot in him that he had told Noah about so long ago.

Noah couldn't help himself. He had to lean over and kiss one of Kurt's thighs, kiss up the fine hair there and to his hip bone. He grabbed Kurt's opposite hip with his hand while his other hand wrapped around his cock, desperate to feel the weight and shape in his hand. Kurt jerked at the contact, letting out a loud moan.

"God, Noah—" Kurt moaned, his body seeming torn between grinding down to his fingers or thrusting up into Noah's grip. "God, Noah, I—stop—"

Noah stopped immediately and his eyes widened as he pulled his hands back. Had he hurt him? Had Kurt changed his mind? Was he going too fast?

Kurt opened his eyes again—not even remembering when they closed—and bashfully admitted, "If you keep doing that, I'm going to come before you're even in me." Noah ducked his head and quietly chuckled; it was kind of adorable, at least to him. He pressed another kiss to Kurt's hipbone and then the one opposite it. Kurt kept his fingers inside of himself but stilled them as Noah moved back to sit on his haunches.

"Do you have condoms?" Noah asked. Kurt nodded and jerked his head to the same drawer the lube came from; he never thought he'd be so grateful for the sex talk his dad gave him. Noah reached over and eagerly pulled out a package from a box. "Do you—do you want to put it on me?"

Again, Kurt blushed a bit. "I…I don't know how," he admitted. "I mean, I know in theory, but I've never done it. Not even on a piece of fruit. We didn't do that when I was at Dalton."

Noah laughed quietly. "What did they teach you over at that fancy private school, huh?" Kurt rolled his eyes but couldn't help but let out a small laugh himself. "I got this, don't worry," Noah said.

Kurt watched intently as Noah ripped open the package with his teeth and then, after pinching a bit of space at the top, rolled the condom down his shaft. He looked back up at Kurt and took the lube and poured some on his hand. Noah bit his lip as he stroked himself, doing his best to coat his whole cock patiently.

But then Kurt's spare hand was reaching forward and wrapping around Noah's erection and Noah couldn't help but whine at the soft touch. Kurt's eyes were lustful and curious as he felt the weight of Noah in his hand, the warmth radiating from inside the condom, the vein pulsing…

"God," Kurt whimpered. He pulled back his hand and spread his legs further. "I'm ready—and yes, I'm sure—I'm so sure," Kurt added as Noah opened his mouth to ask. Noah smiled and nodded.

He climbed between Kurt's legs, kissing Kurt's shoulder as the man whimpered at the sensation of his fingers pulling out. He lined himself with Kurt's entrance and, after one last look at Kurt's determined eyes, he slowly pressed in…

Tight. That was all Noah could think at first, his cock pulsing as he got the tip in. He paused, trying to be mindful of Kurt, Kurt who was biting his lip and clenching a fist. "Are you—"

"Don't stop," Kurt said. "I'm fine, it's better if you keep moving…" Noah nodded and did what he was told, not stopping until, somehow, incredibly, his balls were against Kurt's ass.

"You feel so good," Noah moaned, pressing a kiss to Kurt's temple. He nuzzled his nose again Kurt's cheek, his body practically buzzing with need. Even so, he remained still as he waited for Kurt's reaction. "How do you feel, baby?"

Kurt looked up at him, not even sure what to say. He felt full and stretched and maybe he felt just the slightest burn, but that was just making his cock twitch more. He didn't know how to tell him all of that or if he even would be able to. So Kurt looked Noah straight in the eye and simply said, "Fuck me." With that, he squeezed around Noah, hoping to spur him into action, and pressed their lips together.

The passion and hunger and energy from before all returned like that. Noah pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in, groaning at the high moan coming from Kurt's throat as they continued to kiss. He repeated the action again and again and again, rolling and snapping his hips in different angles as he looked for that spot, that spot that would make Kurt cry out in pleasure. Kurt seemed to want that too, and started tilting his hips, lifting his legs around Noah's waist as Noah fucked him.

Noah knew they had found it when Kurt was clawing at his back and moaning louder and higher than Noah thought possible. "There there there there there there there," Kurt moaned in a chant as Noah pounded him into the mattress at that specific angle. Kurt's head lolled back as he started bucking his hips with Noah's, their thrusts working together as they slammed into each other. Noah took advantage of Kurt's relaxed neck by leaning forward and continuing on that hickey he was making earlier, sucking and licking and nibbling on Kurt's hot, sweaty skin as they moved faster and faster.

"Noah—" Kurt panted out. "Noah, I'm gonna—" Noah didn't need Kurt to finish that thought; he simply grabbed Kurt's throbbing cock and stroke it as he continued to thrust. It didn't take more than a couple of strokes before Kurt's moans grew higher and more breathless until he was screaming his release. His back arched and his eyes closed as he came into Noah's hand with the most beautiful sound Noah had ever heard, still bucking his hips as he rode out his orgasm.

That sound along with the rhythmic clenching of Kurt's hole around Noah's cock tipped Noah over the edge. He bit Kurt's neck and moaned against his skin as he thrusted erratically until, finally, his orgasm subsided and his hips slowed to a stop.

After a few moments, Kurt wriggled a bit in discomfort. "Oh, shit, sorry," Noah said, knowing all too well how sensitive Kurt had to be at that moment. He pulled out quickly, though both of them definitely whined at losing that connection, and then he swiftly took off the condom and tied it in a knot before shooting it over to Kurt's trash can.

He laid down next to Kurt and was about to get a towel for the come on his hand when Kurt, much to Noah's outright motherfucking delight, grabbed his hand and gladly licked it clean. Noah moaned quietly and Kurt licked up every last drop before shyly pulling away, looking a bit embarrassed that he did that. Noah dropped his hand back down and wiped the saliva that was left on his thigh, looking down at his legs.

Slowly, Noah and Kurt looked back at each other, both of them naked and sweaty. After a few moments of looking at each other silently, they did the only thing they could think of: laugh. They couldn't help it; the whole thing was so weird, so new, so different. And damn had it been good. Rushed and desperate and messy, but good. Great. Amazing. Life changing. Like, literally life changing.

Soon, just like clockwork, the blankets were pulled back up and they were snug against each other. It was almost like the usual old Noah and Kurt relationship, just with a lot less clothes and, if it was somehow possible, even more touching. Kurt rested his hand on one of Noah's pecs, his thumb lightly rubbing against tan skin, while Noah's fingers traced the pale, bare skin on Kurt's arm.

"I wanted that for so long," Kurt admitted. Noah looked back up at him, glad to see Kurt smiling from ear to ear. "I kept thinking, 'god, Noah would be the perfect guy to lose it to, wouldn't he?'" He laughed quietly and shook his head. "I never realized why. I just thought…I don't know, that if I couldn't find a boyfriend…" Kurt laughed again and Noah joined in at the ridiculousness.

"Me, too," Noah admitted. "I kept trying to deny that I found you hot, ever since…well, for a long time…We've both been kind of dumb, huh?" Noah asked. Kurt nodded and nuzzled against Noah's neck. Noah didn't even bother hiding his smile as Kurt's nose tickled the sensitive skin there.

Noah's hand traveled up Kurt's arm to his neck, lightly gliding over the darkening mark there; that was going to give some stuff away. He smiled at that and lightly ran his fingers through Kurt's hair and then down his back, finally letting his hand cup Kurt's ass, something he definitely had wanted to do for well over a year. And it felt just as nice as Noah had imagined.

Kurt made a small sound, though, and Noah stopped. "Are you sore? Does it hurt?" Noah asked immediately in concern.

Kurt lifted his head back up. "A little sore. But it doesn't hurt, no," he said. He smiled sheepishly and admitted, "It felt kinda nice." He rested his head on a pillow, giggling a bit as Noah went back to groping his ass, which just felt good on his tired muscles. Kurt's own long fingers lightly played with the slight dusting of chest hair Noah had. "You should grow this out," Kurt said with a grin.

"I will," Noah said. He wasn't sure why Kurt liked it so much, but he wasn't going to deny him that small pleasure. He brought his hand back to Kurt's lower back, just holding him close as he pressed a kiss to the top of Kurt's head, drinking in the afterglow.

After a few moments of comfortable, contented silence, Noah said, "Even if you're sore, I'm sure we can find some other things to do. You know, if you want to."

Kurt looked up at him and, much to Noah's pleasure, smirked in approval. They both knew they'd have a lot to discuss in the morning, but until then, they had to make up for a lot of wasted time.

—

A/N: Wow. I considered putting this in two parts but...well, I didn't want to in the end. I hope it's not too long for you guys. And I still have a few more chapters planned - one for summer and at least one for season three and one for four, which is the end of canon in my mind. Then an epilogue. We'll see, I might make a little spinoff of this where I can focus on other moments, but I'm not sure.

Anyways, thank you again for all the love and support, and I truly hope you loved this update as much as I do. Feel free to check out my tumblr if you want to bug me for more updates; my current url is rebeccanorahbunch!

Love,
xLessxThanx3x