Unfortunately, the deep sleep didn't last forever. At 3 AM I was awake and staring at the ceiling.

Slowly shifting onto my side, I looked at Gons bed. He was facing towards me and the window, a small trail of drool coming from the corner of his mouth.

Gross.

Although it suited him. The childish manner he had didn't even escape him as he slept. His golden skin, that was tanned in the afternoon sun. His long eyelashes that fluttered when he blinked.

How his chest slowly rose and fell again with each sleeping breath.

With a quiet groan, I moved my arm to rest atop my eyes. Why him, why my best friend. Why my guy best friend? Father wouldn't approve. Illumi wouldn't approve. Although, I've seen how him and clown freak look at each other when they think others aren't around. The things him and Hisoka have done when they are "alone" is just pitiful and gross.

I always knew Illumi was secretly a submissive partner.

Gon let out a small noise. A snore, maybe? He turned onto his stomach, his skinny arm out and falling over his bed.

If I can even call these college beds, beds. It's like sleeping on concrete… and the pillows were made of pebbles. I should really invest in a new pillow.

.~.~.~.

At some point I fell asleep. In my dream… I was in a forest. Surrounded by greenery and insects. My feet splashed in a pool of water beneath me, and in front of me a gorgeous and glistening waterfall. The wind was strong, somehow. Even though I was surrounded by trees that blocked everything, the sky, the sun, the clouds. My eyes fluttered closed with a large gust of wind.

At one point I couldn't breath, it was so strong. Gasping for air…

And I woke up with a startle and hit my head relatively hard.

On Gons head.

"Gon, what were you doing? I couldn't breathe! My dream was so good, too…" I felt my forehead. No blood, thankfully. I look up to Gon to see him straddling me. In my bed.

He was rubbing his forehead, muttering curses to himself. I feel my cheeks heat up, and quickly glance away.

"Sorry, Killua. I had to wake you up. This was second on my list!" Gon's hand went to the back on his neck with a sheepish face. His amber eyes glistened with unshed tears, probably from hitting my head. That didn't hurt that much, did it?

Though not a minute later he seemed fine and giggled.

He giggled. God, I could listen to that forever. He covered his mouth, a blush spreading on his cheeks.

"Well, what was on your list today? Cause I couldn't even breathe, and that wasn't a comfortable way to wake up." Still sitting on my thighs, Gon looked away and whispered something.

"Dude, I can't hear you speak up." I huffed and crossed my arms, still laying down with a questioning glare and eyebrow raised.

"I… uh… I blowed in your ear. And nose…? Maybe? I thought it would be funny. You should have seen yourself, Killua! Your nose got all scrunched and you grunted. I tried so hard not to laugh!" Gon gave his radiating smile, almost blinding me.

It's much too early for this.

"Wait, what? You breathed on me? Dude, now I'm probably infected with, like, AIDS or something!" I quickly sit up with wide eyes. That wasn't a smart idea. My nose is centimeters from Gons. I can hear and feel his breathing on my eyes and nose.

It tickles. Gon doesn't flinch away, like I hoped he would. This makes this somewhat awkward…. God, of course he wouldn't flinch away. He's my friend. He thinks this is normal. He isn't gay. Of course this doesn't faze him.

My breath hitches and my throat tightens. Gon smiles. I could almost feel his smile.

How does one feel a smile? I sure don't know how, but I felt something. It could be described as butterflies in my stomach. Though… it seemed like more than that.

Does Gon feel the same way..? No, he probably doesn't. He has hardly ever even done anything remotely gay… Unlike me. The closest experience he has had to a "homo scene" is when we were walking with Hisoka.

Hisoka was behind us and staring at our asses. Nice, right? I didn't have the thing for the clown at the time, and hardly knew I was gay myself. Well, i'm not full on gay. Bisexual? Maybe a little Demisexual? I felt pricks up my neck and we told the clown bastard to walk in front. We never spoke of it again.

Gon was staring into my eyes. I felt like I was being assessed. Like he was rating me… or listening to my thoughts.

Please don't be a mind-reader, Gon.

"Killua, I don't have AIDS! Don't you gotta… you know, get intimate to do that?" His voice was like silk… a husky whisper in the dark room. The shades were closed, with little sunlight filtering through and hitting his face. A sparkle was in his eyes.

"Uh… yeah. Gon, didn't you take sex-ed in sophomore year? It was a joke man, don't take it seriously." I glanced away, attempting to release the tension in the room. Is it hot in here?

Probably just me.

"Yeah… I think? Highschool wasn't fun for me. I don't try to remember much. People didn't really talk to me… I was an outcast. I just thought of the day I'd see you again, Killua." Gon's smile was still plastered, although his eyes became dark when recalling a probably sad memory.

"If I was in highschool with you Gon, I would have kicked those bastards asses." I gave a deep chuckle, though it was humorless. Gon gave one in return and scratched his chin.

"Hey… Killua? Did you ever…. Did you…" Gon trailed off mid sentence. I stared, awaiting him to finish his thought.

He didn't.

"Gon? Are you okay? Finish your question." I looked into his eyes, searching him for any emotions. His eyes were blank. The sparkle gone and empty.

"No… No, it's okay. It wasn't really that important, anyway. It was just a silly question." Gon slightly shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. I tilted my head, why? No questions are silly. Unless it's Hisoka asking the question. His are normally stupid and pedophilic.

"Gon, no questions are stupid. You can ask me anything, you're my closest friend!" I hesitantly reached up to touch his shoulder, as a reassuring gesture. He flinched, and I pulled my hand away.

His hand, with his long and bony, yet delicate and soft fingers grabbed onto my wrist, and placed my hand on his face. My fingers brushed his hair, though I didn't move my hand.

Unknowing what to do, I stared at Gon in shock. Is this something best friends do?

Probably not.

Gon slowly inched his face forward. My face was on fire. No doubt was I blushing, and Gon was so close that it was impossible to hide. His lips…

His lips were just a few centimeters away. Slowly, he licked his lips. They fell into a serious frown. In thought, and concentration.

"Gon… what are you-" I began to say, confused with his actions.

Gon's hands went to my shoulders and gently pushed me down onto my pillow. My right hand still resting on his face, and my left laying on the bed.

His delicate lips were pressed against mine. It was full of emotion. Sadness, love, and want.

My left hand went to Gons back and clutched his shirt, my right going through his hair now. Gons hands travelled from my shoulders to my neck, slowly. Not in a seductive passion, but in a loving and gentle way, as if he didn't know it was okay.

He licked my bottom lip, as a way to ask for permission.

I granted him the permission. Our tongues fought for dominance… and I lost. They swirled and danced, in a graceful pattern.

After a short time we disconnected, a trail of saliva attached to my lip and his tongue.

Love, is this what that is?

"Killua… have you ever had intimacy with another guy?" Gon slowly breathed out that sentence. Catching my breath and panting… I tried to find an answer in my mind.

"No… but… I guess I've wanted to? For a while… That was nice Gon. Thank you." I smiled, though I was still breathing heavily.

"Killua, will this change anything? Make things… Awkward between us? I really don't want it to…" Gon moved his hands and placed them on my chest, looking down almost in shame.

"No Gon, of course not. Why would it? You're still my best friend and this won't make us any less." I smiled, and placed my hands atop Gons.

"But… if it won't make us less… would it make us more?" Gon slowly looked into my eyes. His sparkle returned but was filled with hope and happiness.