Even if Zim didn't realize this fact, Dib did and in some ways it made him feel a little sorry for the meglomaniacal alien. Even more so because after doing a little late night digging, he discovered that Zim was an Irken who was deemed 'defective' and only spared out of what he could figure was a twist of dumb luck. Zim was an outcast of his own society and happily not aware of it but Dib sometimes had to wonder if he ever got even an inkling of what his own society really thought of him.
Oh sure, he hated Zim's guts. But he didn't hate Zim because he was an alien; he hated Zim because he was a narcissistic, meglomaniacal, homicidal jerk who was bent on destroying his planet. His hatred was in the context that Zim wasn't a nice person, not the context that he was a little green man from beyond the stars.
After three years of fighting Zim, he finally had gotten the bright idea of researching Zim a bit more and began to intercept calls and read about the Irkens with the help of the ship that had fallen into his yard. Six months previous, he discovered that Zim was a defective and that he was actually very different from the rest of his race of clones. And well… after that, his capture held no glory for him anymore. Not after he realized that Zim was wanted dead by his own people. It was part of being human. Of course, that didn't mean that he had any problems with shooting Zim, pummeling his ship into the ground with scrambler signals or gloating about his height.
Zim was a little bastard, but that was just his personality. The fact that Zim even had a personality, as Dib knew, was a feat in and of its self for an Irken. Besides, he would get totally bored if he didn't have Zim as his archenemy.
With a sigh Dib gazed at the ceiling of his room and rolled his eyes. Lately though, things had ground to a halt. Finals were coming up and everyone was busy trying to make sure they passed the 10th grade, even Zim. Which was odd, because as far as he knew, Zim didn't need to study, he just scanned the information into his Pak and that was it. But it almost seemed as if Zim's crazy schemes were slowing down.
Or maybe he was slowing down.
Dib shrugged and pulled his bed's comforter over his head. He was thinking too hard and he needed some rest before the next school day dawned. Which was in roughly six hours, unfortunately for Dib.
Zim walked wearily into his repair room and looked around. "Computer, make sure Minimoose and Gir don't come in here while I'm repairing my Pak," he said and shut the door before the computer even had a chance to reply. With a small sigh he walked over to the table and turned around so that his back was facing it. "Pak, voice manual command for repair. Lock system, undo."
The Pak whirred a bit then chimed, "Lock system deactivated." The spotted device floated off Zim's back and landed neatly on the table behind him. Zim quickly grabbed it to remain in contact with the neural interface system so that the ten-minute lifelock wouldn't begin and reached over to grab a tool hanging over the table.
"Stupid robot," he muttered as he pressed the white-hot tip to the edge of the tool against the broken Pak and began to close the jagged cut. Above him the communications screen flickered to life and the face of Jenjiba appeared in all his glory.
"Hello, pitiful Irken," he sneered.
Zim glanced over at the screen, blinked once then resumed his work. "Yeah, whaddya want?" he drawled, clearly not impressed.
"Listen to me, Irken scum. That was my weakest captain and those were scouting soldiers. Do not think your victory means a lot against us," Jenjiba snarled.
"Hey," Zim snarled. "You were the one that sent inferior scum to face ME! Although I could defeat any of your pathetic soldiers on my own with no help for I am far more superior to you. Don't blame me for your stupidness…ness."
"You ARE quite the annoying Irken brat, aren't you," Jenjiba asked.
Zim made a rude noise and resumed repairing his Pak. "I just totally kicked your inferior ass too," he said proudly. "How did you hack into my communications anyway?"
"Your 'superior' coding was quite easy to hack, Irken brat," Jenjiba sneered at Zim.
Zim's red eyes narrowed, then a horrible grin crossed his face. He picked up his Pak and walked over to the other side of the room where he fished around until he pulled out a small disk. He pushed it into the slot and waved at Jenjiba cheekily. "My superior technology says hello," he laughed and watched the screen go blank. "Stuuuuupid Vertian. He thinks he can outsmart the… really, really smart ZIM? Ha!" he snorted and walked back over to the table to resume the repairs. Which, in the coming months, was just the first of many.
Up in space, Jenjiba was cursing Zim and thinking of the many horrible ways in which he would die as he fought to regain control of his ship from the virus that the 'terrible Irken brat' had just uploaded into the ship's main computer.
Thanks to the 'present' from Zim, the armada was busy over the next couple of weeks cleaning the virus from their systems and making sure it didn't spread anywhere else. Meanwhile, Zim and Dib were finishing off tenth grade and getting ready for summer.
"It's not fair!" Dib hissed at Zim as they walked to skool. This had been a daily occurrence since high skool began. For some reason, exchanging witty banter every morning gave the boys enough energy to make it through the day. "You don't have to study, you just put the data into that Pak of yours and you ace every test!"
"Well, I am a superior Irken," Zim said smugly, grinning up at Dib.
"Yeah, a superior pain in the ass," Dib muttered.
"You're just jealous because I am obviously so much BETTER then you are," Zim sneered. "I'm smarter and stronger and I always will be."
"And I'm taller," Dib said in his own smug tone, grinning back at Zim.
"That will only work so many times, worm-baby," Zim growled warningly.
"Yeah, and you don't think your 'I'm superior to everything in the universe' rant hasn't gotten tiring over 4 years!" Dib snapped back.
"Well, it's TRUE!" Zim sniffed. "I AM superior. And one day I will be your slave master!"
"Uh huh… sure," Dib replied sarcastically. "Well… almighty master, you're about to be late to your history final if you don't get your superior butt in gear," Dib laughed and ran ahead of Zim with his longer legs into the Skool.
Zim snarled and ran as fast as he could to his locker to begin his final day of tenth grade.
Zim stared at the clock as it neared 3 pm. 3 pm and he would be able to leave, just a few more minutes. A little longer…
"You know, for someone who has proven that he can create machines that mess with the scope of time, it's kind of sad that you're reduced to staring at the clock in hopes that it will go faster," Dib said from the seat behind Zim.
"Shut your noise tube, pathetic human," Zim hissed back. "Speeding up and slowing down time isn't as easy as you may think it is."
"I don't think it's easy," Dib sighed. "That's my point."
"I don't understand the logic that comes from your enormously large head of smell, that stinks," Zim replied curtly.
Dib rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "And I don't understand a damn thing you say half the time," he muttered to himself, quietly enough so that Zim couldn't hear. Or so he thought.
Just as Zim was about to turn around and pick a fight with Dib, the bell rang and students poured out of open windows, doors and ventilating shafts in an effort to get away from the skool building. A few had even planned ahead and brought explosives to blast their way out once it hit 3 pm.
Zim decided that he would rather go home and plan world domination with his new found free time then argue with Dib. He'd do plenty of arguing with Dib once he had an organic matter obliterating bomb or something.
…actually, that wasn't a bad idea. Zim mulled it over in his head as he walked down the street towards his house. It would take some time to create, obviously. He'd probably have to write the program from scratch and build it carefully so that it wouldn't go off in his fortress, buuuuut… who knew?
"Irken Invader," a gruff voice said behind him.
Zim stopped, and it took him a few seconds to realize that the speaker wasn't talking in English like most other humans in that area. His translator was working, but something about what the person said was off. Zim's faux blue eyes widened, as he realized it. He was in costume! No one should be able to see through his disguise, unless…
"Warlord Jenjiba wishes to see you," the voice sneered.
Zim turned around and licked his dry lips, his Pak's programming switching to translate the language for him. "You can tell your Warlord that I see no one unless I want to," he replied in a haughty tone. "Zim answers to no one, Vertian space trash."
The Vertian that he had just insulted stood nearly two feet taller then Zim. He was big and hulking and looked just about ready to tear Zim's head off. "You are lucky that I was given orders to take you back alive, smeet."
Zim raised an 'eyebrow' at the use of the biological term that was used to describe the earliest stages of an Irken's life. "You daaaare call ME a smeet? I've probably been alive longer then your Warlord!"
The Vertian sneered, "That says nothing for mental development, brat. You're just a punk Irken who got in way over his head."
Zim narrowed his eyes and growled at the Vertian. "I killed those other soldiers, what makes you think you'll fare so much better?" he spat. "There's no way you'd be able to defeat ME."
The Vertian pulled out a gun and held it level with Zim's head. "Just shut up and come with me, and I promise not to hurt you much."
Zim was clearly unimpressed. In fact, he looked in of bored. "That's pathetic," he told the Vertian and brought a microphone out of his Pak. "GIR! Come to your master's aid at ONCE!"
"Calling for help?" the Vertian sneered. "Oh how sad," he laughed.
Zim looked at his watch. "Wait for it," he said quietly with a nasty grin on his face. The Vertian was able to blink once before Gir flew right into the back of the Vertian's head, probably killing him from the force of the blow, and knocking him over. Zim took a few steps back as the body fell forward at his feet.
"Yeeeeeees?" Gir asked, standing up and jumping over to Zim. "What is it, mastah?"
"Eh, nothing anymore. You did your work just fine Gir. Good job," he said with a smile and even gave Gir a pat on the head for his efforts. "Now, take me HOOOME so that I may start on my new diabolical plan."
"Wait!" Robin's voice said behind him.
Zim turned around to see the Titans standing behind him. He gave them an exasperated sigh for their troubles and crossed his arms. "Look, bird-human or… whatever, skool just let out. I have free time, I want to go plot so that Dib-stink and I will have our undoubted confrontation and have a gigantic battle in which no one wins and millions in property damage is caused then we go home and do it again. It keeps my life from being boring."
Robin raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever actually come close to conquering the earth?" he asked.
Zim gave a non-committal shrug. "OF COURSE!" Zim screeched, clearly offended at the implication that he wasn't very good at his job. He looked thoughtful for a second. "Once, I think," he said with a big grin. "It's fun. Now, what do you want?"
Robin pointed behind Zim at the alien who was lying in the ground. "That?"
"Okay, I usually don't make excuses, but just so you don't lecture me on how killing is wrong, because I don't have the time to stand her and listen to it, the guy came after me first, okay? Oh, and Gir did that," Zim added.
"Whooo!" Gir cheered and ran between Zim and Robin to the park across the street. Both boys watched him run then resumed staring each other down.
"I didn't come here to lecture you. I came here to warn you," Robin said.
"Even if you are an enemy of my people, it is not fair to let the Vertians target you in such a manner," Starfire said quietly behind Zim.
"What, you mean the whole thing where the Warlord Jenjiba wants to capture me so that he can steal the information in my Pak to find a way to defeat the Irken empire?" Zim asked.
There was a long pause before Cyborg decided to speak up. "How did you know that?"
"The moron called me on my video feed to tell me his plans," Zim snorted. "Then I uploaded an AWESOME virus into his computer for hacking into MY monitor," he finished with an evil grin. "It was really cool."
"Well…" Robin paused. "It explains why they haven't tried to invade for the past few weeks."
"DUH," Zim yelled. "I am a superior Irken. It's going to take a lot more then that to fell the almighty ZIM!"
In spite of himself, Robin felt almost amused at Zim's antics. It piqued his interest that even though Zim was, a self-proclaimed 'bad guy' he wasn't an open and shut book. He was nothing that he was supposed to be, and everything he shouldn't have been. It was interesting, and frustrating to not know if Zim was serious about taking over the planet, or if he just thought of it as a game. Perhaps he would never know the answer. And somehow, all that did was make him wonder even more. "Well, we just came by to make sure you weren't 'felled' by the giant alien."
Zim laughed, long and hard. "I can't believe a bunch of worm babies are actually stupid enough to even begin to worry about someone who has basically all but said 'I will destroy you next.'"
"It's a hero thing," Raven said flatly. "Don't think it means we like you."
"Oh thank Irk," Zim said in a mocking voice. "I was so worried about what you cared, shadow-human."
"Dude, we're just trying to…" Beast Boy started but Robin held out his hand to stop him.
"We're doing our job, Zim. Just like you're doing yours. The Warlord out there wants to take over earth, he also wants you. As long as he doesn't have you, he won't destroy the planet," Robin explain in a cool voice as he tried to make it sound as cut and dry as possible.
Zim actually grinned at Robin for his efforts. "I believe you are the first human I've met to actually think like that."
"That is the most offhanded compliment I've ever received," Robin murmured.
"I didn't intend it as a compliment, bird-human. I was just telling you that everyone else I've met always has some 'ulterior' motive for helping someone they clearly don't like. Even Dib," Zim shrugged. "I'm going back to my house now. I don't need your help," he finished and waved his hand. "GIR! Come on."
"Comin'," Gir yelled and trotted over to where Zim was. "Can we get ice cream?" he asked.
"Sure," Zim said, feeling somewhat in a decent mood since there was no more skool to fear for over three months. He figured it would be a good idea to indulge Gir so that when he wanted to work, Gir would leave him alone.
Gir was pleasantly surprised that Zim was actually being decent to him and cheered in a loud, annoying voice and ran ahead of Zim like a happy kid. Zim sighed and followed the hyper dog-brained robot down the street towards the ice-cream parlor.
The Titans watched him walk off after Gir, even more confused then ever about who or what Zim really was.
Several days later, Zim was in the basement, working on his bomb when there was a transmission sent to his computer from Irk. Zim glanced up from his work to see Purple and Red grinning down at him and he immediately forgot everything that he was working on. "My Tallest!" he said happily. "This is an honor, to be called. What is it that you need me to do?"
"Zim, we want you to come to the Massive," Red purred, his grin growing larger. "We're um… throwing another party for you. In your honor for being such an amazing invader."
Purple put his hands over his mouth in a badly masked effort to hide his laughter, but he needn't have tried. Zim was far too excited to even notice Purple's odd behavior. "R-right away my Tallest!" he said breathlessly as he ran about his lab gathering the things he would need. "I will be there as soon as I can."
"Right, good work soldier!" Red saluted him mockingly and watched as the screen went blank. As soon as transmission was cut off, he too burst into laughter with his friend. "Oh my Irk! He fell for it! How stupid do you have to be," he laughed.
"He doesn't even suspect that we've fixed the control brains. Think we can deactivate him this time?" Purple asked excitedly.
"Even if we can't, the main Control Brain should have enough backup to at least wipe his memories and personality files. If that much is done, then we wouldn't even need to worry about him being defective anymore," Red replied happily. "Zim will be out of our worries forever, either way."
"Yay!" Purple cheered. "How long do we have to wait?"
"I made sure we were close to Earth," Red assured his friend. "Shouldn't be more then a few hours."
Sure enough, a few hours later, Zim's Voot signal came though loud and clear as he parked in the Massive. Red and Purple saw this and both cheered quietly before trying their best to look stoic in front of the Control Brains as Zim walked in.
"I AM HERE!" Zim announced flamboyantly. "You may all start clapping and celebrating! For I, the superior and powerful Irken soldier ZIM is here!"
Red allowed himself to roll his eyes before pointing at Zim. "All right, Control Brains, let's do this."
Zim looked up to see the floating brains extend several wires that wrapped themselves firmly around his wrists, ankles, waist and neck to prevent movement. Zim glanced at the Tallest in a puzzled manner as he was lifted up in front of the Main Control Brain and a 7th cord was plugged into his Pak. "My Tallest?" he asked.
Red undid a scroll and began to read its contents happily. "Irken Zim. You are charged with being responsible for the deaths of Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork, as well as practically every bad thing that's happened on Irk since you were born. In continuation of your trial before your corrupted Pak destroyed some of the Control Brains, we charge you with being deactivated and your Pak destroyed."
Zim began to feel something in the pit of his stomach that cut through his ego like a hot knife and told him that he should be fighting with all his strength. But somehow he just couldn't bring himself to believe it. Him? The most perfect Irken, defective? How is that even possible? "Ha ha," he said shakily. "That's funny my Tallest. Wonderful joke, now can we celebrate how awesome I am?"
The Main Control Brain spoke up in a deep and authoritative voice. "This is no joke, defective," it spat. "Your defective Pak may have saved you last time, but now you are going to be deactivated, now accept your fate."
"What?" Zim asked, blinking slowly before the charge that the Main Control Brain had sent through the cord attacked to his Pak reached him. Zim cried out once before being perfectly still, slack against the cords that held him in the air.
Tallests Red and Purple both began to cheer loudly as Zim went still but the Main Control Brain cut their celebration short. "My Tallest," it boomed.
"Yes?" Red asked, still grinning.
"He's not dead. I can't completely wipe his Pak without corrupting the Control Brains again," it said. "I request to suppress what I can and encode it."
"Suppress his personality and memories," Red sighed. "Encode them, and make sure there's no way for anyone to get to them."
"Yes, my Tallest," it said and sent another signal through the cord then lowered Zim back to the floor. "Occupation?" it asked.
"Let's send him back into exile!" Purple whined.
Red shook his head, smiling. "No… this Zim has nothing but programming. He'll listen to everything we say and be the perfect soldier. We can take advantage of that."
"But we hate him!" Purple protested.
"Yeah, and now we get to boss him around all we want without any annoying rants or anything," Red said wickedly.
"Oooooooh," Purple said, knowingly. "Yeah, I like that."
"My Tallest?" The control brain asked.
"Encode his Pak with the Invader occupation," Red commanded. "We have plans for him."
"Very well," the Main Control Brain agreed and did just that, then released Zim from the connection.
Zim's Pak beeped once. "Reactivation," it said and a light blue glow covered Zim, sparking his body back into life.
Red and Purple looked at the short Irken gleefully as his empty red eyes opened slowly. He stood there, and after looking at him for a bit, Red and Purple seemed a bit put out. Zim stared back with dark eyes that showed no light and no emotion, waiting for any command, just as his Pak told him.
"Zim?" Red asked finally.
"Yes, sir?" Zim asked, saluting Red with his hand.
Red shook off his apprehension and relaxed. This was what every other Irken did, and it was now what Zim did. Perhaps now Zim would actually be useful. "You are hereby assigned to Earth as an Invader. Blend in, find out the secrets and take over the planet. Call when you require backup."
"Yes, sir!" Zim saluted again then turned on his heel and walked stiffly out of the hallway, leaving the Tallest behind with slightly mixed reactions.
"That was…" Purple said slowly.
"Yeah," Red agreed. "Oh well, not our problem. Who wants donuts?" he asked.
"I do! I do!" Purple waved his hand and the two left the room in search of their snacks.
Yeah, it gets a little... weird from here on in. Just warning you guys. Zim however stays like that for all of one chapter, (I think) so don't worry. Anywho, I have to say that this is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever written. Damn, it is just so hard to keep everyone IC while trying to give Zim... reasons to act the way he does.
Also, on the subject of Dib. He will seem a little less... obsessive in this fic for the mere reason that I desperately needed a foil for Zim. Someone to explain everything to the Tians and have a reason to hate Zim but still not be able to bring themselves to... want to destroy him, if that makes any sense. He's still very much the paranormal investigator and he still loves 'weird and unusual' things. It's just that it's toned down a bit. So WHEN he meets the Titans he's not like "OMG must get camera!"
However, I do plan to have Dib annoy the hell out of Raven with his monologues. Some things will never change.
So, fair warning to you all on what's coming up and stuff. Figured you guys would like a heads up.