CHAPTER 4

Touya stood there dumbfounded for a moment, feeling ridiculous in the face of such beauty. If it took him too long to say something, Yue might think he was not welcome, and that would make conversation impossible. Touya forced himself to get over the fact that he was all but naked and had goosebumps all over.

'That is a-a lot of hair,' he said, pointing at the spun silk strands that Yue was obviously trying to keep out of the water. Yeah, that sounded idiotic enough, congrats, he said to himself.

The Moon Guardian looked at him as if he didn't understand. 'It's always been like this,' he replied warily.

'I mean, let me help. May I…?' Touya smiled and walked to the edge of the pool, then knelt down.

Yue nodded, though his expression was one of astonishment, and turned around so that he was looking away from Touya.

'I don't want you to catch a cold for my sake,' Yue said in a voice no louder than a whisper.

Touya had never seen Yue's shoulders, or any part of his body, really, considering how many layers of clothing the Guardian usually wore. It was impossible to avoid thinking he was beautiful. Yue was unearthly. Impossible, by human standards. Touya put the loose strands together very gently, relishing the touch of smooth, perfect hair, and gathered them up in a simple bun, although it took him some time to make sure none of it would get into the rotenburo.

'How do you know how to do this? My mistress has short hair.'

'My mother. She wore her hair long.'

'Thank you,' Yue said when he finished.

'I'm getting in.' Touya made a quick job of putting the towel aside and stepping into the water. The sudden heat made him slightly dizzy but he was soon warmed all over and he sat at some distance from Yue.

'To-ya. Am I intruding? Yukito said I'm not, but I might as well ask you.'

'Do I look bothered?' Touya smiled more widely. He remembered the way Yue's presence had felt when they had first met, right before handing him his powers. Just like Yuki's. However different their personalities might be, he couldn't forget that.

'You have a good heart.'

The statement took Touya by surprise. It also made something inside him tingle. It hadn't occurred to him that Yue thought anything of him at all.

'I don't get what you mean…'

'You care. All of this,' Yue looked around and pointed at their surroundings with a long-fingered hand, 'and more, you've done for Yukito. You are good for him.' Touya's heart skipped a beat. Was Yue saying he approved of their getting together? What else could he possibly be saying? 'He can't hear anything I say or see anything I do. Not unless I tell him afterwards,' Yue explained, probably sensing Touya's confusion.

'He's been spacing out a little lately. Was that you sharing thoughts or memories with him?' Touya asked. It had really been eating at him.

'Yes,' Yue answered honestly. Touya didn't think he was capable of any other sort of answer. 'He should know. It's only fair. But he's in control of his life and he makes his own decisions, in case you are wondering.'

Touya glanced up. Night had fallen and the full moon shone in stark contrast with the dark sky. He was sharing a bath with a being who might have looked entirely supernatural if not for the very human wistful expression that he was currently sporting. He wished he knew more about Yue.

'Would you share some with me?' Touya asked.

'Share?' Yue quirked a pale eyebrow.

'Your memories. You look sad sometimes.'

Yue stirred a little in the steaming water and surprised Touya by sitting closer to him, still keeping his limbs under the surface. Must be quite a sight, Touya found himself thinking. Did his body look like Yukito's? Wait, this is not right. Stop thinking. The hot bath was soothing away the tiredness of the past two days and Touya felt more relaxed and a little more confident.

'I'll tell you what you want to know.' Yue's eyes were fixed on the moon above when he spoke, two sparkling jewels set on pale alabaster.

Touya pondered it for a moment. 'Is your current life okay?'

That made Yue look him in the eye and sigh. 'I'm alive and my mistress' powers are steadily growing. She also insists that she cares for me. I guess that means I'm okay.'

Touya's brows knitted. 'Being alive isn't the same as living. Something is missing.'

'Someone,' Yue corrected quickly. His mouth then twisted as if he'd said too much.

'Clow Reed.' Touya said it matter-of-factly. When Yue's eyes opened wide, he added, 'You spent a long time with him after all, didn't you?'

Yue nodded slowly and, in an incredibly cute gesture, hugged his knees under the water, looking more vulnerable than Touya had ever seen him. 'I can show you.'

'What?'

The Guardian stretched an arm and Touya felt the air around them change, as if the night breeze had stopped. 'It's a temporary shield. We are hidden from prying eyes now.'

That sent Touya's heart racing. Just what was Yue going to do?

With another gesture, a curtain of steam rose up from the water, forming a vertical screen of sorts before their eyes. Yue then furrowed his brow and his hand shone brighter than before, although Touya couldn't feel the power that was undoubtedly concentrating on his palm.

'You can control water,' Touya said. He held his breath and waited.

Images began to form on the screen as if someone had turned on a projector. They were blurry at first but soon Touya could identify the figures clearly. There was a tall man in black and white robes standing next to an open window. His face wasn't visible at first, but he turned around somewhat when someone else sidled up to him. His expression softened when he saw Yue. The Guardian wasn't wearing his white robes, but a silver-patterned yukata with very wide sleeves. He looked youthful, splendid. Clow Reed said something and Yue replied, but the magical projection was muted so Touya could only stare at their lips moving. Then something surprising happened. Yue snuggled up to the sorcerer's chest and Clow wrapped an arm loosely around his waist. What began as a display of filial affection of sorts soon transformed into something else and Yue used his wings to hover above the ground and kiss his master's lips. Clow seemed to freeze for a second, but then gave in and returned the kiss, fingers threading through flowing silvery hair. The memory stopped there, and Touya could only guess what had happened afterwards. He had imagined some sort of platonic, one-sided infatuation on Yue's side. The truth stung a little, and he didn't understand why.

With another wave of Yue's hand, the images vanished together with the steam screen, and the pool was quiet again.

'The fact that he loved you. This is what you wanted to share with me, isn't it?' Touya asked, keeping his voice neutral.

Yue shook his head. 'He didn't love me like I loved him. He said he couldn't resist me however much he wanted to. Does that count as love? Even when… even at those times, I don't think he was in love with me. Ultimately I became a thing that could be left behind and passed over to the next master –mistress, in fact.'

The Guardian's usually cool expression was showing actual emotion. Touch between his wings. Mirror's words echoed in Touya's head at that precise moment and, in a bold move, he reached for Yue's back under the water and stroked it softly, seeking to give some comfort. The huge wings would have made it very difficult so it was a good thing they were invisible. Yue tensed, obviously startled, but didn't move away or shrug him off. After a few moments he seemed to relax under the touch. Exactly what Yuki had done the night before, as a nagging voice inside Touya's head reminded him.

'I understand,' Touya said, simply. He didn't know Clow Reed. He couldn't fathom what his motivations, much less his feelings towards the Guardian he created, had been. The only fact he understood was that Yue felt abandoned and heart-broken, and he could sympathize with that. Touya had been there himself.

'I've seen you in love with Yukito, To-ya. That's how I know…'

Touya blinked as it dawned on him. It was his relationship with Yuki that was somehow troubling Yue. That might be why the Guardian had hovered so close to the surface, trying to see, to understand, silver eyes shining through Yukito's light brown. They were the same being, Yukito and Yue, Touya was sure of it as he held Yue's gaze. For a split second he turned his attention to his own body and felt the blood rushing through his veins even though he should technically be as relaxed as anyone could get, soaking in hot water.

'Yue. I'm nothing like Clow Reed. You don't like me, do you?' It took some effort to formulate the question. Yue averted his eyes for a moment and, when he looked back at Touya, it was with a coy smile that Touya had never seen on his lips. Too beautiful. 'I hope you do so you won't hate me for this,' he added.

He drew Yue closer to himself and kissed the corner of his mouth. Yue tilted his head towards him, allowing it, and a low sound caught in Yue's throat. A pale hand came to rest on Touya's shoulder.

'I won't hate you,' the Guardian whispered in his ear. 'You intrigue me. There is so much that is good about you.'

Touya's voice came out hoarse. 'I want to know more. About you.' His arms moved on their own accord and wrapped around Yue's lithe form.

'To-ya.' Yue sounded somewhat alarmed. 'This is not right. I'm bringing Yukito back to you.'

'You are one and the same to me,' Touya replied, but still let go of him, sobered by thoughts of Yuki.

'But he should be given the chance to remember everything, don't you think?' Yue caressed Touya's cheek with two fingers. 'Then we'll see…'

Yue waved his hand in the air again –to dispel the barrier he'd created, Touya thought–, flashed a last smile at him and disappeared within the cocoon of his folded wings. Touya was still trying to get his stuff together when Yukito appeared by his side, looking slightly confused. He didn't glow the way Yue did but Touya could see his face clearly under the moonlight. Yukito smiled at him and looked back to put his glasses on the edge of the pool.

'So peaceful,' he said. 'You chose another beautiful place.'

Touya gave him a lopsided smile. Hiding his feelings, his arousal or anything at all was beyond him at the moment.

'Yuki. I know that here you have no way out and that's selfish of me, but I'd like to say it now. That thing I promised you I'd say.'

His friend gazed at him earnestly and nodded. 'I wouldn't run away, whatever it is,' he said softly.

Touya took a deep breath. I can't hold back. The two of you…

'I love you.' Touya managed to look into Yukito's eyes as he said it and the words echoed in the silence, folding around them like a blanket. He could only hear his own heartbeat thumping in his throat and the moment seemed to stretch forever. Yuki looked dazed, eyes wide open and too bright, and then his hand rose above the surface of the water to cup Touya's cheek.

'It makes me happy to hear it,' he said, his voice fraught with emotion. 'You mean the world to me, To-ya.'

'You mean…' He had to double check, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

'I love you, too. I thought you'd figured it out.'

Touya tilted his head and pressed his lips to Yuki's hand. He felt overwhelmed with joy, as if it all was too much to take in at once.

'Now you don't have to get flustered every time you want to do something,' Yukito teased him.

Touya rose to the bait gladly. 'Do?' He kissed each of Yukito's fingers in turn, taking his time, and heard Yuki gasp in response. 'I have no idea what you mean.'

When Touya released his hand, Yukito put it on his shoulder for support and met Touya's lips with his own. Touya deepened the kiss, holding Yuki close to himself, skin on skin under the water so that it was impossible to conceal anything, especially when his friend all but sat on his lap. He could feel Yukito's heartbeat as well as own. An untimely thought crossed his mind. Their skin feels the same.

'I think the hot water is not helping us relax,' Yukito chortled when they parted to breathe.

Touya had imagined what this would be like, holding Yuki in his arms, but reality was proving to be much better. Still, he had doubts concerning what he was allowed to do, and Yukito must have sensed something was off because he cupped Touya's face in his hands so that they were looking right into each other's eyes.

'Stop fretting,' Yukito said, the tone of his voice so mellow that Touya could only let the words wash away his insecurity. 'There's very little you could do that would upset me, To-ya.' He accentuated his statement by running his fingers alongside Touya's neck and down his chest. His hand disappeared under the water and Touya held his breath when he felt it brush his abdomen and sink even lower. He then practically hit his head with the edge of the pool when Yukito's thumb traced the length of his hard cock, sending sparks through his body. All the while Yuki's eyes were trained on his face and a mischievous smile graced his lips.

'Yuki-' he gasped when Yukito repositioned himself so that he was straddling Touya. A small jolt of pleasure followed when he became all too aware of his best friend's erection, which now pressed against Touya's own, warm, human. Touya managed to react after a second and reached out to caress the small of Yukito's back, eliciting a purr-like sound that made his body temperature rise further.

'I like your hands.'

Touya laughed quietly, releasing some of his nervousness. 'I like all of you.' That could have a double meaning, he realized when Yukito became hesitant, tilting his head sideways. 'Every part of you,' he clarified. Every you, as well, he added in his mind, but it wasn't the right moment to say that, was it.

Yukito responded by kissing Touya's cheek and letting his lips graze against the side of his neck ever so lightly. Touya wrapped an arm more tightly around the lithe body while his free hand caressed Yukito's thigh under the water. He was on fire, and the temperature of the rotenburo was not the reason. The only things Touya knew about pleasing a male where those he'd learnt while touching himself, but he just didn't have the energy to worry anymore. He was losing his ability to think clearly at an alarming speed, with Yuki's body pressed to his own like that, so close that no reaction, however small, was lost on him. Like the way Yuki squirmed in his embrace when Touya nibbled on his earlobe gently, increasing the friction on his cock.

'Yuki, I want more. Unless you think we're going too fast,' he said in a hoarse voice.

'In our room,' came the soft answer, devoid of hesitation. 'We should mind the water,' he added; ever so thoughtful, Touya mused. That's something I love about you.

Yukito got out first, dried his face and put on his glasses. He didn't seem self-conscious as he stood naked, bathed in moonlight, so magnetic that Touya gazed at him for a long moment before following him. The night had grown somewhat chilly although he was only vaguely aware of it in his excitement. There were two large white towels conveniently placed on a low table nearby, and Touya wrapped one around Yuki's shoulders first, holding him from behind as he did so.

'Don't catch a cold, To-ya,' Yukito said with a smile, lacing his fingers through Touya's.

'Is it cold? I can't feel it.'

'It's that hot, mmh?' he teased.

'Your fault,' Touya whispered in his ear, and let go of him momentarily to dry himself off.

Yukito's dilated pupils when he turned to face him let him know that the words had had an effect. Touya kissed him, and once more he felt that he was home, he was happy, and the only thing he wanted was to melt into that vanilla-scented warmth. Was it overambitious of him, to want to make love to the moon?

Still wrapped in his towel, Yukito grabbed his wrist gently and led the way back to the room. It was warm and comfortable, and the futons, placed side by side, looked inviting. The two of them stared at the yukatas which they had left around, then exchanged a meaningful glance and made no move to get them. The fact that Yukito also thought it unnecessary to get dressed reassured Touya, who was painfully hard and at the end of his rope.

Yukito turned off all the lights but for one in a corner of the room, then put his towel aside, sat on the futon and smiled at Touya. His friend was blushing, Touya realized when he pushed Yukito down gently on his back and crawled on top of him.

'Are you all right?' he asked.

Yukito nodded and caressed his cheek lovingly. 'I've just never…' his voice trailed off. It was easy to fill in the gaps.

'I'm not exactly experienced, either. Let's do this together.'

One nod, and Touya kissed him hungrily for a second before moving down to run his lips and tongue over every inch of pale skin within reach. Yuki's breathing became ragged when one of his nipples was grazed, and Touya stopped to tease both in turns, amazed at the way they hardened into stiff peaks. He then trailed kisses down to Yukito's lower stomach and inner thighs, eyes fixed on the evidence of his friend's arousal. Yukito let out a moan and bucked his hips a little when Touya wrapped a large hand around it, thumb rubbing over the head. His reactions turned Touya on even more, and he changed position to be able to watch Yuki's face as he pleasured him with slow strokes.

'To-ya. You-you too. Come here.' His voice came out a bit more high-pitched than usual, unbearably alluring, and Touya obeyed immediately and lay down on his side so that they were facing each other.

A wave of pleasure coursed through Touya body when Yukito started stroking him in time with his own movements. Yuki made such a beautiful sight, eyes too bright, lips slightly parted and letting small sounds escape. Touya kissed his throat, felt his racing pulse. He was too hard, half-drowning in pleasure under Yukito's inexperienced but firm grasp. They both increased the pace and Touya felt his thoughts dissolve. His free arm held on to Yukito, bringing them as close as they could get in the current position, with their legs entwined.

'Can't-can't hold it,' Touya groaned. He'd hoped to see Yukito's face as he climaxed but it couldn't be because he was pushed over the edge first, his vision blurring as he came in Yuki's hand harder than ever before, the pleasure so intense that it felt like it was devouring him from within. It rippled for what felt like a long time, during which Yukito's body tensed and his friend followed with a cry.

When Touya managed to focus his eyes again, Yukito had buried his face into his chest and was breathing heavily.

'Yuki,' Touya whispered.

'Yes?' Brown eyes gazed up at him, accompanied by a small smile.

'I love you.'

'Kiss me again.'

It was an unrushed, lingering kiss which fuelled Touya's affection as much as Yukito's touch had kindled his passion. Their lips parted and Touya reached out to get some tissues and clean the mess that had gotten all over their stomachs. He felt relaxed and even a bit sleepy; a consequence of their long hot bath, he guessed. Or the even longer day of sightseeing.

'Can we sleep like this?' Yukito mumbled; he seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open.

Touya moved so that he was spooning Yukito, arms wrapped around him, and tugged the bedding over the both of them.

'Oyasumi.'

He fell asleep almost immediately, listening to Yukito's breathing as it slowed down, happier than he'd felt in a very long time. There were things they had to talk about, but surely they could wait until morning.