Extemporaneous Engagement
Marickiya had decided to keep a journal. She got the idea from Eyela who had been on her mind a lot lately. She was hoping it might help clear her thoughts and all around relieve some of the stress she had been feeling for the past few weeks.
Because she had always had a fascination with books, and then the months she spent translating Eyela's notebook, the words flowed freely. Within a few days, she had already filled in about a third of the empty book she bought from a vendor in town. She recounted everything that had happened to her as far back as she could remember. She also had little biographies of her closest friends. She loved describing them, all the little things she like about them, and how happy they made her feel. There were full pages dedicated to each of them. Those pages made her smile the most.
Wrapped up in her newfound hobby, she had taken to staying up late into the night, writing by candlelight, and sleeping in for most of the day. This suited her well as no one really bothered her while she slept. When she was asleep, she didn't have to worry about Link coming to talk to her about the inevitable battle or the fact that their once sworn enemy was being nursed back to health in their own house. That irritated her quite a lot, but she didn't have an outlet besides her writing to vent about it. There were times when she happened to be awake when everyone else was. She took that time to take Trysting out for a long ride, not too far, but enough to stretch his legs. He seemed to be enjoying the attention, and she felt a bit guilty for not showing him the love he deserved. The rides gave her the time to remember all the details she may have missed while being cooped up in the house.
She could describe in the most detail her adventures with Link and Vaati, as they were the most recent. Those memories were what took up the most of the previously empty book, even sketching little drawings in between words. She never really thought about how exciting it was to be with Link before and she enjoyed reliving it in her writing.
Then she caught up to the present. For this, she began writing down all the thoughts that overwhelmed her, or just any passing thought she fancied. She tried to focus on things that made her happy, but that was becoming increasingly difficult. She found herself flipping back to the beginning and rereading. She would catch up again and again to the last sentence she'd written, unable to think of what to write next. She was looking at it once again, stuck.
'I think Vaati is avoiding me.'
She grumbled to herself. She hated scratching out even tiny mistakes in her journal, and this one was a full sentence. She couldn't bring herself to mark over it. The sentence upset her because she thought this should be the very least of her worries. It wasn't even a valid worry. She closed her book and leaned her head back until it touched the wall she had propped herself up against, staring at the ceiling.
She didn't have any grounds to go on besides the fact that she'd only seen him appear at the house for a few short moments a handful of times over the last few weeks. When she was awake during the night, he would return, but would never enter the abode. He would stay up on the roof at night, presumably to sleep. She could hear his footsteps in the quiet. She reasoned that he probably stayed there because Lana was using his own bed. This just brought her back to being annoyed with her constant presence. At least she was more tolerable while she slept. She didn't have to listen to her irritating voice or watch Link coddle her.
Her other theory was that he was actually avoiding Lana, which would make more sense given the circumstances. If that were the case though, she thought he would at least talk to her. She couldn't help thinking she felt a coldness from him that was directed at herself. Besides this feeling alone, she couldn't figure out why he would be upset with her.
The door opened, interrupting her thoughts, and she hurriedly shoved her book under her pillow. She watched, hoping that maybe Vaati would make an appearance. Two people poured into the small house and neither of them were who she hoped.
"Walking really does help," she heard Link saying to Lana. When they were all the way inside, she could see Lana was looking winded and a little grumpy.
"Yeah, well, tell that to my aching back," she quipped. Marickiya rolled her eyes and stood up. Link looked up at her.
"It's good to see you awake." He said happily to her. She put on a front.
"Yeah, I've been up for a while. I was thinking about going for a ride." She casually made her way downstairs, mainly focused on her means of escape. Before she could touch the door handle, Link placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned to him with a fake smile still on her face.
"How are you feeling?" He asked her in an undertone. She turned to face him.
"I'm great." She replied. He didn't look convinced. She cocked her head to the side. "Is something wrong?"
"You've been sleeping a lot lately," he said, his voice even quieter, "Do you want to talk?" When she didn't give an immediate response, he added, "Is it about Vaati?" Her eyes flashed for a second, and then roved past him to where he knew Lana must have been.
"There's nothing to talk about." She said, still in her too happy demeanor. She shrugged away from his touch and walked out…
With the door fully closed behind her, she let out an aggravated breath. He was mothering her now, too. Maybe she was trying too hard to make it seem like nothing was wrong. He had hit the nail on the head bringing up Vaati, though. Did he see the same thing she saw? Or was he going off of the fact that the last time she and him spoke to one another was before Lana was brought into the mix? She was too frustrated to try and work it out just then.
A small breeze picked up and she turned instinctively. A glint of silvery hair whipping out sight on the roof caught her eye. She stared up at the spot for a few seconds, her gut wrenching uncomfortably. Was there actually something to be worried about? It seemed like she wasn't the only one thinking it now. Before, she was denying the existence of a problem. Now it just felt like everything was going wrong. This life outside of the Fortress was too good to be true after all. Her eyes stung and her throat felt as dry as the desert. She couldn't stand being there anymore and ran off towards the stables.
...
Link was left scratching his head, mumbling to himself. Lana hopped up onto the cot she had commandeered and let her legs dangle over the side.
"Trouble in paradise?" Link turned to her taunt, giving her an exasperated look. She had settled in to this new life quite nicely, but she never really dropped her tactless bantering. Mostly though, she just liked to pick fun at the group. He would go along with it, rolling his eyes, and try to hold a normal conversation.
"Hah, hah." He walked over to the tall table in the center of their living quarters. "I just don't understand them. They were really starting to warm up to each other." He trailed off in thought. Lana leaned back against the wall and was inspecting her fingernails.
"Might be because of me."
Link rested his chin on the heal of his hand.
"You sound really beat up about it," he said with an eye roll. She shrugged in response.
"Their love life isn't really my problem." Crossing her arms, she became unexpectedly serious. "But, it sounds like they just need to talk it out." Link brightened at her words.
"You're probably right." She smiled. "We need to get them alone together." Her face fell into an incredulous frown.
"That's not really what I meant."
"I have an idea." Link said with a grin and she smacked her forehead with a groan.
0000
She was being selfish and she knew it. She hated it. She hated this feeling of wanting to live when it would cost others so much. The anticipation of death was killing her. Her heart ached and if she thought too much on it, her head would get fuzzy and she would have this disquieting tingle all over her body. She was afraid.
There was so much she still wanted to do. She wanted to travel, to see the world outside of Hyrule. She grew up in one place filled with misery and moved to a new land that wasn't as free from strife as she thought. She wanted to run away, find a place where she wouldn't have all these anxieties. Then again, maybe just traveling was what she wanted. None of that was an option with Ganondorf still around. She growled angrily.
She wanted that man dead. No, she wanted him to suffer what he'd done to those around him. Her mother, Link, and many other families who'd lost loved ones were only a few that came to mind. She knew he had probably done worse to others that she didn't even know about. He was an infection that needed to be removed. She hated him more than anything that she was feeling. She cursed his name.
She had wound Trysting's reigns tightly around her crippled hand and was pushing the horse as fast as he could go. At least he was enjoying himself. That gave her a small amount of comfort. Tears from the wind and her flying emotions streamed into her hair and she let them, though she kept her lips tight and ground her teeth together to keep from crying out.
Perhaps Trysting could feel her wrath for he was beginning to slow down.
"What's the matter boy?" She heard her voice crack and swallowed hard. Her horse turned his dark head toward her with a knowing eye. She patted him gratefully. "I'm alright, buddy, don't you worry." She gave him a sweet smile.
The sun had set on another fruitless day as she still couldn't bring herself to be near the others. They had already figured out that something was wrong and if she was pushed, she wasn't sure how she would react.
She took Trysting back to his stall and gave him some loving pats before sneaking back into the house. Just as she hoped, Link and Lana had both turned in for the night. After discretely closing the front door, she heard soft footfalls above her. She smiled sadly in the dark.
"The gang's all here," she breathed before deftly racing up to her notebook in the dark…
...
He watched and waited from above. She was making her way through the empty town, returning from another late night ride. When she made it back inside their house, he leapt onto its roof, as was the routine.
He had picked up a new habit as well, which was keeping a constant watch on her wherever she went. She was being rather reckless in his opinion, going out on her own when it got dark. She had to know how dangerous it was. He got a sense that she was past caring about anything like that.
If he thought about it, he was also past caring about certain things. He hadn't slept a full night since he had found out what she was trying to hide from them. He didn't stay up thinking or trying to find a different method to taking down the King of Evil. No, he simply sat and stared at the night sky, his mind blank. What else was there left to do?
He stayed, but he was distancing himself, or attempting to anyway. When he first began following her at night, he fooled himself into thinking that he was doing it to make sure she was safe. When it became a nightly occurrence, he was starting to think that he was doing it in accordance with his mission. It made him sick to think that. He didn't want anything to do with his 'masters' or their demands. He was so tired of all the responsibility thrust upon him. Then, he found that being near her, even without her knowledge, brought him a calmness, however deluding he knew it was. In those times, he only aimed to protect her. That was all he wanted to remain focused on.
He was becoming delirious. He knew he couldn't keep going like this. Eventually, the time he so dreaded would come. What would he do then? Would he try to stop it from happening and doom an entire kingdom? What could he do?
He knew the answer to that already; nothing. Their fates were inevitable. His, to continue living this harsh life, and hers, to die. If he could trade places with her, he would. At the same time though, he didn't think he would wish his circumstances on her.
He felt a stinging in his blind eye and sat up abruptly with a sharp intake of breath. He brought his hand up to it, feeling it throbbing uncomfortably for a second. Then it subsided as quickly as it had come. There was nothing else discernibly wrong with it. He sat back, annoyed.
What had that been about? It was an old scar, there was no reason for it to be hurting like that. An old scar…
His mind was flooded with early memories. He let them play through his head, leaving behind his worries of the present. Even though most of the visions were painful, he felt anything was better than what he was currently living. He let out a hollow laugh at how desperate he was to escape.
If only he could desensitize himself to the suffering of others like he had in the past. Maybe that would solve all his problems. Unlikely.
The images of a life long gone reenacted behind his closed eyes for a while before he couldn't tell what was a memory and what was a dream any more.
0000
Link awoke the next morning feeling quite refreshed. Taking a look around, he saw Lana was sitting at the main table sipping on something from a steaming cup. He rolled over and let his feet hang over the side of the bed and pulled his boots toward him. Putting on the rest of his effects, lastly his hat, he stood and stretched.
"Morning." Came Lana's hail from the table. He greeted her back with a wave. Before he could take a seat to join her, he noticed her nodding her head up to the loft. He turned around and saw Marickiya sitting with her back to them at her own upstairs table. She was awake.
He hadn't had enough time to come up with a coherent plan outside of getting her and Vaati alone together. From the encounter yesterday, he figured that Marickiya wouldn't be as cooperative and decided to let her stay at the house while he went to fetch Vaati. He thought he might be able to convince the mage that he should talk to her. It was simple and hasty, but he felt it was better to try it than have the both of them off their game if they were attacked. The first part of his improvised plan was to have Marickiya believe she would have the house to herself for a few hours.
"Good morning, Mari." His greeting was friendly. She didn't turn around, only giving him a mumbled reply. At least she responded, he mused. "Lana and I are heading over to the potions master this morning." He told her. She made another diminutive sound. "You'll have the house to yourself for a bit."
At this statement, she stopped whatever it was she was doing at the table and turned her head to the side.
"Alright. Thank you." She set back to work again. His lips split into a wide grin. He motioned for Lana to follow him out the door. She looked a little indignant at first, eyeing her unfinished beverage, before getting up and joining him as he opened the front door.
"We'll be back later, then," he said and then she and him slipped out. "Well, that was easy." He muttered to Lana. She didn't respond and he looked up from the doorknob to see her looking over his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Vaati standing at the top of the stairs, looking between the two of them and the house they had just exited.
The mage would always show up around this time in the mornings to check in. He was as punctual as ever.
Unfortunately, Vaati then did something Link hadn't expected him to do. He turned away from them and the house and was descending back down the stairs without a word.
"Vaati!" Link called out. He didn't stop, just gave a noncommittal 'I'll be back later' comment. So he truly had been avoiding her. Link, quick on his feet, raced down the steps in front of him and blocked his path.
"What's up with you two?" He said seriously. Vaati only looked away from his stern gaze.
"Nothing." Link wasn't having any of that.
"You have to go talk to her. She thinks you're upset with her." Vaati did look into his eyes then. Link could see impatience and a little bit of anger in his movements.
"I am not upset with her." He huffed.
"Then go tell her that." He said resolutely, giving the sorcerer a meaningful glare. They stared each other down for a moment longer, then Vaati conceded.
"Fine."
Link, giving a final nod, led Lana down the steps, leaving him with his task. Vaati watched them go for a moment before turning back to the house he had intended on entering when he first arrived...
Why would she think he was upset with her? If anything, she was most likely the one upset with him. He didn't know what Link saw that he hadn't. Perhaps he had only said that to make him go inside and talk to her. Even though he had found out what it was that was bothering her by unnatural means, he was surprised it took Link this long to realize something was up. If he didn't go inside, he knew the Hylian wouldn't let him hear the end of it. Vaati swallowed.
Upon first opening the door, he heard her voice.
"Forget something?"
She thought he was Link coming back. He almost backed down, his mind seizing up for a second. But a strong desire to see her pushed him to open the door the rest of the way. She had been facing the door from her seat at the main tall table and so got a full view of him revealing himself. Her eyes were wide and she made a strange gurgled sound, shifting in her chair and nearly falling out of it. She caught herself and remained rigid in an uncomfortable looking position. He closed the door slowly behind him, using the time to think hard on what he should say.
"It is unusual to see you awake so early," he offered somewhat casually.
There. He had spoken with her. That should be enough to show her that he wasn't angry. He didn't want it to look like he was only there to say this one lame line. He strolled over to his bag he had left beside the cot he used to sleep in, hefted it over his shoulder, and turned to leave again.
"Vaati," she said hurriedly. He paused waiting for her to speak. Now that she had his attention, she struggled with finding her voice. "...Um, is… is everything alright?"
"Everything is fine." She looked up when he replied and could see a dullness in his face that she was unaccustomed to. He had gone back to using formalities with her as well. Something had changed... "Why?"
"It just..." She bit her tongue for a second, "Seems like something is bothering you."
"I can assure you, nothing is wrong with me." He was a little harsh with his words and she flinched at his icy countenance. She would not be deterred though.
"You never used to talk to me like that, and it's all over your face... I can tell." She said. "Something is wrong."
"The same could be said of you." He said, completely facing her then.
She couldn't really say she hadn't expected him to turn it back onto her. He was deflecting, even if what he said was true. She had been using the same tactics on Link to try and keep him from prying. She was feeling that twinge of selfishness again.
"We can discuss my problems later. I-" She swallowed the dryness in her throat. "I'm sorry if I seemed angry before." she paused, unsure of herself, "I want talk like we used to. Can we go back to the way things were?"
'That would be next to impossible.' He would not say this out loud. If he could manage it, he would be more than happy to just 'go back to the way things were' for her. The pain was too much for him. He could not hide anything the way she could. He had been keeping himself away from the others to keep from hurting them, but was coming to realize that wasn't working out as well as he'd hoped. The throbbing in his right eye had returned but he kept any pain from showing.
"I am not sure I can do that," he said under his breath, but she heard him. She already looked like she wanted to cry. He looked away.
"Was there something else I did to offend you?" She kept her own pain from showing, though he could see right through her.
"No."
"Then what are you afraid of?" She demanded. Had she seen through him as well? He gave her an angry look and she shied away again.
"I am not afraid," he lied. "It is… not safe."
"Not safe?" His statement caught her off guard and she let out a small laugh. "Of course it isn't safe. Ganondorf wants us all dead! No one is safe! You don't have to keep protecting me." She hadn't intended to raise her voice. "It isn't your responsibility." Vaati crossed his arms, but kept his gaze firmly averted from hers.
"I do not see protecting you as a responsibility." Her brow furrowed in frustration a bit.
"Why do you feel the need to protect me?" She asked. "We're all in danger." A thought struck her then. "Is it because I'm the Phoenix?" He bit back an exasperated sigh.
"It is not that I need to protect you." He said, still avoiding her searching gaze. "It is that I want to."
Her eyes lit up and he realized he was only making things worse by leading her on. He turned around to take his leave. Just as he took his eye off of her, he heard the scraping of her chair as she sprung from it and darted to the door, keeping him from going. That only served to push him farther.
"We haven't talked in weeks. I want to know what's going on." He took a few steps back at her ferocity and felt the corner of the table at his back.
"Why do you need to know so badly?" He shot at her. She gave him a strange look and he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm his temper and hide the grimace he'd made as the pain in his right eye spiked. "There is no need for you to answer that. It does not matter."
That had been exactly the wrong thing to say.
"Don't you dare say my feelings don't matter." She growled and took a step in his direction. He subconsciously started making his way around the table as an escape, even though there wasn't one. "I grew up with very few friends and when I left them, I had nothing. Now that I have you and Link, I just..." She couldn't continue. She was trying very hard to keep from crying, so desperate not to lose those she cared about, despite being the one who was pushing them away. "Tell me what you want me to say! I just want to help you..." Her voice was faltering and it was sending him toppling over the edge.
"You can't help me." He made his statement sound as finite as possible, but she was adamant.
"Why not? Is it something I did?" She was making her way around the table towards him. He was becoming quite fed up with her and the stinging in his blind eye wasn't helping matters.
"No." He grumbled.
"Then just tell me what's going on. I'm the only one in the dark here." He could feel the pain in the back of his head now and it was fueling his aggression.
"You spout about being in the dark, and yet you are the one keeping things from us." He said coldly. He held his breath to keep from letting out any noise. She stopped advancing and stared with her mouth slacked for a second.
"I don't understand you."
"I know why you have been keeping your distance after we got back from the Shadow Temple and I know why you won't to tell us what truly happened." She was stunned at his words.
"I haven't said anything. How could you-?" She recovered quickly, anger replacing her shock. He knew she had figured that he had found this information through supernatural means. She had every right to be mad. "You shouldn't have- That has nothing to do with you!"
"Yes! It does!" He finally yelled back. He couldn't hold it in. "Defeating Ganondorf is the sole reason for me being here! It's the only reason I agreed to stay with you in the first place!" All the reserves he had for keeping this bottled up were gone. "I can't stand knowing you're going to die and that there's nothing I can do to stop it!
"Can't you see?! You're my problem!"
His magic reacted without his permission again, a strong gust of wind rushing around him. It happened in a second, not enough time to give warning. Solid as a punch to the gut, the gale sent her flying back into the corner of the table and onto the floor. He choked as he looked on stupefied. He could not breathe.
"Mari?" he whispered. Hearing a small groan of pain from her made him snap back into the moment, forgetting the vows he made to stay away. He dropped his bag and rushed over to her.
She was struggling to her hands and knees, looking disoriented. He placed a hand on her back with the intent of helping her up. She shouldered him roughly and he lost his balance and tumbled to the floor.
"Get away!" She said as she turned around to face him. The look on her face, that of fear and confusion, froze him on the spot.
They were both too shaken to move. For once, Marickiya seemed like she could not find a response.
A line of blood trickled down to her chin from a split lip. She gasped when she tasted it and brought a finger to her mouth. She looked up at him, surprised. He could only sit there across from her, appalled at what he had done. The fear returned to her and she scrambled to her feet, then made a break for the door. His voice failed him as he watched her run away from him.
He whimpered as the pain from his eye became too great. He held his aching head in his hand, wishing for the prickling to ease, and felt a wetness against his face. When he pulled his hand back, a splash of red against his pale skin halted him. He sat there, staring in disbelief at the blood that came from his right eye, from an old scar. Suppressing all that he had been feeling, and then the added stress of the argument, had caused his wound to reopen. He cursed out loud.
Not wanting to be covered in blood, he stood and held his hand over his eye while he searching for something to stem the flow.
This wound that had been inflicted on him with magic could not be healed by magic, so he had to wait until it decided to stop bleeding. He got his hands on a clean cloth and threw it into the water bowl under the window. With one hand he wrung it out and began cleaning himself up.
The sight of blood had calmed him down somewhat as it made it easy to shift his focus. While he held the cool damp cloth to his eye, he took in deep breaths and let them out slowly. Now that his heart wasn't racing, his head was starting to clear.
He was able to think straight, but there was a dull ache in his chest. He had accidentally hurt Marickiya because he couldn't control his power. She had asked what he was afraid of. This was it.
Now that everything was out in the open, even though their words toward each other had been filled with hurt and retaliation, he felt it was time to stop running. He cared too much to leave it like it was. He cared for her...
It was the first time he was coming to grips with this emotion. It was hard to ignore it at that point.
He wanted to talk to her, though he knew she wasn't feeling the same way anymore. He didn't want to push her, that had just been proven as the worst method at trying to fix anything. He decided to wait for her. Not at the house though. He wasn't sure how long Link would be gone.
He cleaned up and grabbed some bandages, then equipped his bag he'd dropped earlier in the fight. In a hurry to leave, he barely spared a glance back at the mess he'd created when his magic went off before shouldering his way out the door. Standing out in the sunlight, he stopped and took another deep breath. He didn't want to go looking for her, thinking it would be better if she came on her own terms. If he reached out to her with magic, he feared she might be set off.
He made a familiar gesture with his hands, summoning forth his totem. The brilliantly white scissor tailed bird jumped happily about his palm, awaiting his instruction. He whispered to it, asking it to keep an eye out for Marickiya. Understanding his meaning, it leapt into the air and took off. When she was ready, his bird would lead her to him. For the moment, he would head to his favorite place in Hyrule to wait. He leapt into the skies, allowing the wind to guide him where he wished to go.
0000
Marickiya could not catch her breath. She had run as fast as she could to the stables. It wasn't that much of a distance but her heart raced and her breath came in gasps. She had collapsed inside Trysting's stall and was huddled on a pile of hay. Stinging tears poured down her face to join with the blood from her lips.
Feeling a warmth in the air, she opened her eyes to see Trysting's nose before he nuzzled her face.
"It's okay boy." She spoke softly, but her voice wavered. He kept near her, nudging her gently. She welcomed his company.
Fear pulsed through her. She couldn't shake the feeling. Vaati had just attacked her. Part of her realized it had been an accident. The other side of her that held on to the image of how angry he looked when it happened was overpowering her rationale.
She was afraid for another reason as well. It had been an accident that Vaati had used his power against her because he was angry. She feared the same thing could happen to her. What if she misused the magic within her on her friends? She couldn't bare the thought, her stomach doing several flips. It had already happened, she was beginning to realize. The power had been summoned when she was angry or scared. Once again, she hated that she had been cursed with this burden. What should she do?
She still wanted to fix things, unable to stand this loneliness any longer. Vaati already knew her secret that she had been trying to keep from everyone. She wanted to talk to him again. Most of all though, she wanted a friend.
What if he attacked her again if she tried to go to him? What if she retaliated this time with her own magic? Maybe this was what Vaati meant when he said it wasn't safe. She had pushed him, just when she was not wanting to be pushed. These thoughts were making her hesitate in going back. She wanted to apologize but she wasn't sure if he would even want to talk to her now.
'What should I do?' She closed her eyes tight.
She heard voices enter the stables and she clasped a hand over her mouth to keep an audible gasp from escaping. She quieted her sniffling and listened hard. It was dimly lit inside the stables so unless the one who entered came straight to her stall and looked down, she wouldn't be caught if she didn't make any noise. She didn't want anyone seeing her the way she was. She heard them approaching.
"Meet Epona."
But of course it had to be Link. Damn her luck! Epona's stall was right beside Trysting's. She heard Lana compliment the red mare almost directly above her. Her head jerked up and she could see the top of the woman's head just over her gate. 'Please don't. Just leave.'
"That's Trysting," her face was burning, "Mari's horse. I must say, he's a fast one. She and him race well." He said with a smile in his voice. A distant memory played in the far corners of her mind, making her long for those days of levity. 'But not now. Please.'
She watched as Lana reached out a tentative hand to Trysting's black mane. 'No, no, no…'
Eye contact. The stale air, heavy with the scent of hay and leather, pressed in around her. She paled and felt the coldness of sweat with every fiber of her being. Her breath that she couldn't catch before had left her completely. Lana was simply giving her a curious look. She opened her mouth.
As steady as she could, Marickiya shook her head once, pleading. Lana blinked back at her. Then her face disappeared.
"Hey Link, I'm getting a little hungry." Lana's words wafted through that stagnant air, cutting through it. Marickiya still sat motionless, almost in disbelief at what she had heard. She felt Link shift his feet around on the straw strewn ground.
"Didn't you just eat?" From his tone, she imagined him with his hands on his hips and an eyebrow cocked.
"I'm still recovering. I need to regain my strength and food is the best way to do it." She said flippantly. "I'm thinking something sweet now."
Their cheerful voices followed them as they left. Marickiya waited until the door of the stables clicked shut before she stood.
She was truly thankful for what Lana had done for her, however small of a gesture it was. It didn't really take that much for someone to gain her trust, she mused. She could not forget everything Lana had done, whatever situation she had been in under Ganondorf's thumb. For that moment, she put aside her hatred and sent her a silent 'thank you'.
They were well out of earshot then, but Marickiya quietly swung Trysting's gate outward and readied his saddle. She led him to the exit at the back of the horse's pen that opened up to the path to Hyrule field. She mounted and set off at an easy pace, not looking back.
'I'm sorry, Link.' She felt the sting of guilt. Link had asked her not to keep things from him, and she had not been honoring her promise. Still… 'I need to figure this out on my own.'
Just as she was coming to the bridge over the Castle Town's moat, she came to a stop with a gentle tug of the reigns. She breathed in deeply, taking in the fresh smell of grass and clean air. Her emotions had calmed somewhat, though there was now a bottomless pit within her. She was drained of energy from the fight. She didn't think she could go through that another time. Yet, she was already yearning to head back to their house. To Vaati. She had acted childishly.
Indecision danced within her, but she found she did want to go back more than she was afraid of what might happen. She hoped he would forget what had been said and done, but that was as unlikely as rain on this cloudless day. She shouldn't have run away. It was obvious to her then that he had not intentionally hurt her. He was so quick to go to her after she fell. She was coming to realize that he had been hurting almost as much as she was about what was to come. In that moment, the imminence of death wasn't the first thing on her mind. That had been the first in a while. Though, this new depressive feeling wasn't much of a step up.
She made her decision, she would not back down. Whether she was ready or not, she needed to at least apologize for her behavior. That was how she would start. With a new determination, she pulled on the reigns again and began turning Trysting back to Kakariko.
A shadow of something far above her darted quickly in and out of her vision. She looked skyward, having to shield her face from the mid morning sun. She could see a small bird flying circles overhead. It was acting quite strangely, she thought. Then she realized what it was.
She raised her arm and waved. If this wasn't what she thought it was, she was going to feel rather foolish. Then, the bird reacted. It descended down to her, still in its spiraling arcs, until it was close enough. The white scissor-tailed bird perched lightly on top of Trysting's head. He didn't seem to mind. It looked up at her curiously. She grinned and a single delicate laugh emitted from her throat. The sight was quite adorably silly.
"Did Vaati send you?" She asked of it. The bird gave a happy little chirp. Before she could say anything else, it hopped back into the air. "Wait!" She reached out. In response, a happy trilling melody filled the air as it began to fly southward. Did it want her to follow it? She didn't waste a second longer thinking about it and urged Trysting back to the field and over the bridge.
It was easy to keep track of it with its glistening white feathers shimmering in the sunlight. It stayed its course, flying far ahead of her. She kept Trysting at a steady pace to keep up with it. The way they were headed, she was thinking it was leading her to Lon Lon Ranch, so when the bird completely passed the entrance, she was a little confused. She had never traversed this far south of Hyrule Field before. She racked her brain to try and recall what else there could be past the Ranch. She thought back to the map Link had shown her during their battle planning to take back the village. That had been her first time seeing a map of Hyrule as the fortress didn't hold any documents about the foreign land. Their main focus was the north where the village and the castle was. She pictured in her head her eyes roving over the map, drinking in its features. She had taken particular notice of the inclusion of the desert. She spotted the valley and the fortress just before it. She followed the gorge in the valley as it flowed all the way into the south and spilling into…
A lake. That was where Vaati was leading her. Just as she was thinking it, she came to the crest of a hilly region and she could see in the distance a fenced area with an opening in the borders beyond it.
Knowing where to go then, she pushed Trysting harder. The tiny bird seemed to pick up on her change of pace. It glowed brightly until it became a tiny ball of white and then shot off, leaving a streak of light in its wake as it soared over the boundaries of the field and disappeared from view.
She was closing in on those fences that she was focused on. They hadn't looked as tall from a distance and she was beginning to doubt her plan to simply have her steed jump them. Trysting however, seemed to be gaining speed on his own and she could feel his confidence.
"Come on, boy," she goaded.
They were past the point of stopping, but as they were both preparing for it, the worries vanished from her. Trysting dug his hooves into the grass and dirt and lunged mightily over the first fence. Keeping the momentum from their landing, she gave one last push and the second fence passed beneath them. Both breathing hard from the exhilaration, they slowed down and made their way through the bends of the path.
"Good boy." She gave him a congratulatory pat on his head and he pressed into her hand.
She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but when she finally rounded the last corner of the entrance, she was met with a breathtaking sight. She knew what a lake was. She knew that it was simply a body of water, naturally created. She never expected something so simple to be so incredibly beautiful and peaceful. There was enough of a breeze to make the surface of the water dance in the high sun's light. She was in complete awe.
It took her a moment to come back to herself and the reason she was there. Tearing her eyes away from the mesmerizing sight, she took a sweeping look at her surroundings. At the eastern part of the shore was a small bit of land across the water with what looked like a wall of a cabin and a door set in the side of the rock face. Moving her gaze past the pristine lake again, there was a very tall, purple accented house sitting out of the water's reach. Beyond it, a bridge stretched out to a couple of islands near the center of the lake.
To the right of her, she saw another opening in the high walls that caged in the area. The sound of running water told her that there was a small waterfall in that direction. A small land bridge passed over the flowing water. That was where she spotted him.
He sat with his legs dangling over the edge of the bridge, his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed. The sight of him like that had her gut twisting, but she wouldn't falter. She dismounted and led Trysting to a patch of grass to graze. Then, swallowing her uncertainties, made her way over to the mage.
He showed no sign that he knew she was there, but she had little doubt that he did know. With that in mind, she quietly took a seat on the bridge, but gave him some space. The way he was hunched over, his hair obscured his entire face and she could not tell what was going through his head. She decided she would go first.
"I got your message," she said quietly.
He didn't respond verbally, only straightened his back and lifted his head. He stared out at the water, looking forlorn. Quiet for many more moments, she was thinking she would have to say something else, just to start the conversation they needed to have. While she was figuring out where to begin, he spoke up.
"Can I ask you something?"
The sound of his voice brought her train of thought to a halt. It took her another few seconds to realize he was asking permission to speak. She blinked.
"Sure." She responded. She believed his question was going to be about what had happened at the house. All she could do was brace herself.
"You have never shown your scars, both visible and not. How do you do it?"
The question confused her. Between how unexpected and vague it was, she didn't fully understand what it was he was asking.
"What do you mean?" She asked cautiously, hoping he wouldn't be impatient with her. He didn't appear so when he spoke his next words.
"How can you be the way you are? With your past... You act as if it did not affect you at all. Do you not hold any resentment for those who mistreated you? Why aren't you like them?" Her lips formed a line as she mulled over his words.
"Why would I let others decide who I am?"
She had countered with another question, but it had been a perfect answer. He was speechless. How did she come to realize this? Despite it being the only thing she knew, she recognized that what was done to her was wrong. She was who she was simply because that's who she wanted to be.
"You don't make sense to me."
"Well, that's flattering." She said sarcastically. He leaned his elbows back on his knees and his hands were folded over his mouth. She feared she had used the wrong tone for the moment.
"I am unlike you, Marickiya. I am weak."
She raised an eyebrow. Why would he say something like that, she wondered.
"You're talking me up like I have some strength you don't have." She said, shrugging. When he didn't say anything she bit her lip before going on. "You don't talk about yours. Your past, I mean." She said softly. "Was it bad?" He made a gruff noise that she thought might had been a laugh, but there was no amount of laughter in his next words.
"I would not say it was the worst." He ran his fingers through his hair, briefly exposing his scarred eye. He had always been careful not to show that side of him. Either he was comfortable enough around her, or he was too frustrated by the memory to care. She noted that it seemed more fresh than the first time she saw it, as if had just happened. She wanted to ask him about it, but she knew he purposely hid that particular side of him so as not to elicit the worry or pity of others. She would respect that and swallowed her words. She listened intently as he went on. "I made what I can now see as terrible choices. I hurt people for my own gain." His brow furrowed. "I am weak because I allowed others' actions decide who I became. Even now, I am unchanged."
She stayed quiet while he confessed. She found herself thinking once again that the two of them had a lot in common. Even more than she initially thought. This was the first time he really opened up to her, and she wanted to show that she was a good listener. She wanted to say one thing, though.
"If you can look back now and see what you did was wrong, then you have changed." He looked over at her and she flashed him a smile. "You're not weak."
A grin spread across his face at her words. She was able to see through every complicated matter and make it simple. He envied that about her.
He knew she was struggling to maintain that disposition, though. She was not going to want to hear his next words.
"I have another question." She remained silent, giving him the go ahead. He gave her a stern look. "I have noticed a change in you. How do you feel now, knowing what's going to happen to you?"
Her lips formed a tight line again. Just when she was beginning to relax, the pain she'd been holding in was washing over her all at once.
The way she had lived her life, she'd always managed to escape, to find a way out of bad situations. Now, she had been dealt a losing hand. She couldn't find a way around it. Out of all the cruel realities she had faced up to that point, this was the worst.
"I've been faced with death many times, whether it was me jumping into danger or someone wanting to kill me. But I never had the time to really think about what death really is." She absently picked at the grass between her and Vaati. "I've been so angry these past few weeks. Was I born for this reason alone?" She took a deep breath. "But I think mostly, I am afraid of an unfulfilled death."
"Would it really be unfulfilled?" Vaati interjected. She gave him an incredulous look. "Sorry. Stupid question. Pretend I did not say it." She smiled a little at his backtracking. His statement got her thinking, though. Her thoughts dwelt on those pages in her journal describing her friends.
"I suppose it wouldn't be." She began slowly. "I lived. I'm alive. I have friends. Sometimes it was fun and sometimes it was sad. But I am glad I'm here now… I just wish I had the time to do more."
He glanced at her as she stared ahead. He could see tears glistening on her lashes. It truly wasn't fair.
"What would you do?" He asked, no longer in a serious tone but a curious one. Her head bowed again, a sad smile graced her features.
"I want to travel. I'd like to see the world outside of Hyrule, how different it is. It just sounds so exciting." She let out a hollow laugh. "I guess this is punishment for my selfishness."
Her words shot through him like an arrow. He couldn't put into words how badly his heart ached. It wasn't just the terrible situation she was in, but that he also felt like it was a sort of punishment for her. She had done nothing to warrant this persecution. If he thought his own retribution was harsh, it was nothing in comparison. He deserved his sentence. All the pain he felt was justice for his crimes. She shouldn't have to share this pain. She should be living on to realize her dreams. He was the one who deserved death and wanted desperately to take her place.
"I won't let you die." He whispered. "Even if I have to kill him myself, you'll be safe." It was an oath.
Marickiya was breathless. Thoughts of how impossible it was for him to keep that promise were drowned out by his sincerity. She wasn't sure how they were going to do it, but she believed in him. His words alone had managed to bring her the hope that she'd been searching for. She found herself crying again, but not from misery. She didn't think she could articulate a good enough 'thank you' for restoring her confidence. She wiped away her tears.
When Marickiya turned to him, she saw his eyes were closed but he held a serious expression. She had a sudden urge she couldn't resist.
She reached out a hand to him, hesitating. Determination overtook her and she stood up. Vaati sensed her movement and watched her as she moved to sit behind him.
"What are you doing?" He asked inquisitively as she sat crossed legged behind him.
"Hush." She demanded. She got into a comfortable position and then started brushing through his hair with her fingers, meticulously separating it into sections. Her voice became softer. "I've wanted to do this for awhile."
He waited patiently as she worked. Despite the breeze, his neck was becoming quite warm. No one had ever dared to touch him like this and he found it quite pleasant. His feet were kicking gently over the edge of the bridge delightedly and he hoped she wouldn't notice.
She took her time with her work, wanting it to be the best she could do. The privilege to braid her own hair had been stripped of her, she wanted to enjoy it. She loved how soft Vaati's hair was, having not been parched by the sun on a daily basis like hers.
"Do you still have that tie I gave you?" Without a word, he reached into his pocket and handed the thin strip of cloth back to her.
She was almost disappointed when she got to the end of the braid, tying it off. One look at her results put a smile back on her face. Then, it faded as she remembered the one thing that was missing from their talk. She took a deep breath.
"Vaati," she said. He turned his head to the side so he could see her face. She looked sad. "I'm sorry for what happened before. I shouldn't have pushed you. I shouldn't have run away. I-" She stopped when he stood up. She looked up to see him holding his hands out to her. She took them and he pulled her up on her feet. There was a strange look on his face that she had never seen him make before. Following his gaze she knew he was looking at the cut on her lip from when she had fallen. She understood that the look he was giving her was guilt and sadness. She had no words and could only look up at him, waiting.
He started to lean close to her, lifting a cupped hand to barely touch her jawline. She remained still, unsure of herself. He placed a delicate kiss below her bottom lip and she lost all of her breath for the second time that day. Coming back up, he pulled her by her shoulders into his arms.
"I am sorry for letting my anger hurt you." The warmth behind his words struck her hard. She couldn't say she was surprised by his actions, but she felt unworthy of his sympathy. Still, she trusted him implicitly. She felt safe. All that was left to do was return the embrace, her arms snaking around his back as she buried her face in his shoulder.
Everything was falling back into place for her. Her objective was becoming clear again. Courage was returning to her. They could do it. They could defeat Ganondorf, the three of them.
The only thing that bothered her at that point was her defenselessness. She didn't want to have to rely on everyone else to protect her simply because she possessed a piece of the Triforce. They could come up with a million different plans of attack, but the truth was, if Ganondorf were to come after her, it would all be for nothing. She was their weak point.
At the very least, she thought it would be best to give up Wisdom to someone who could protect it. Taking it had been a hasty move in the first place, just to remove the Princess from danger. The need for her to keep it had passed.
She felt Vaati stiffen suddenly. She tried to lift her head to ask him if anything was wrong, but found she couldn't move. Panic set in. What was happening?
A gleam of light erupted between them, swallowing everything she could see. She felt it burn within her which only served to frighten her more. She wanted to scream out in alarm but even her voice was silenced by the force.
The light intensified and then all at once, it stopped. Abruptly regaining the ability to move again, Vaati stumbled back a few steps. She stood where he left her, looking stupefied.
She recognized the feeling. She experienced it once before. 'Did I just…'
Vaati also recognized the power that now engulfed him. His breath came in shaking gasps. The distant memory of it was surfacing and he knew exactly what had just transpired. She had given him Wisdom.
This was bad. His mind raced with trepidation. They were alone and as far from the others as they could get. He mentally smacked himself for bringing Marickiya all the way out here. What had he been thinking? He had grown accustomed to Ganondorf's absence and had become careless. Now, he was sure the enemy had been alerted by the exchange of the Triforce piece. They needed to get back to Kakariko. He turned to Marickiya and found her staring at the back of her hands.
"N-No." She was whispering to herself. "I didn't mean..." she was nearly in shock at what she'd done.
"Mari. It's fine," he tried to reassure her. She looked lost. He grabbed her hand and she looked into his hard eyes. "We need to get back to the others."
She could only nod weakly. Glad to have her on the same page, he started to prepare his magic.
"I need you to hold on to me," he began. She realized what he intended to do and tried to back away.
"What about Trysting?" She matched his hardness with her words. She was worried about her horse?
"We can come back for him later." He tried to say. She pulled her hand back.
"I can't leave him," she said defiantly.
He almost swore. They didn't have time to stand there arguing! He didn't think he could convince her otherwise. He tried to keep the anxiety he was feeling out of his voice.
"Fine." He grit his teeth. "But we have to hurry."