Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, the fifth book would have been called Harry Potter and the Onset of Puberty.

Author's Note: As always, thanks for the feedback! I was nervous about how the last chapter would go over—I've rewritten it so many times that it's ridiculous. I'm glad that it went over well. Also, if you can spot the tribute to Love, Actually in this chapter, you are probably awesome.

Chapter 12: Bewilderment

I froze like a unicorn in the lamplight. If we were going to have another row, this was the worst possible time for it.

"Sophie?" she said again, somewhat tentatively.

I wanted to respond, but I found myself speechless, my mouth hanging open stupidly. Why does everything have to be so bloody complicated?

"What's wrong?" She had approached me and was now sitting carefully down on the edge of my bed, her brow furrowed in worry. "Is everything all right? Did someone get hurt?"

I cleared my throat and managed to find my words.

"George…er…George kissed me."

She looked mildly taken aback. "Really? But isn't that a good thing?"

"I—er—I'm not sure. Maybe?" I replied, thoroughly confused. "Why are you speaking to me?"

It was Viv's turn to look uncomfortable.

"Right…about that." She chewed her lip for a moment before exhaling sharply. "I…I've been a terrible bitch."

What I said next was probably not terribly sensitive. In my defense, I'd had a very long day and was not exactly thinking properly.

"Well…yes…you have."

There were tears standing in the corners of Viv's eyes and they spilled over as she started laughing and crying at the same time.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," I said immediately. "What I meant…"

"It's true, though," replied Viv.

"No, but what I meant is that I've been a terrible bitch as well. Neither of us have been on our best behavior lately."

"You weren't as awful as I was."

"I'm equally at fault, Viv. You know that."

"But I said all those awful things, I l-lied—"

"Viv, does it really matter?"

"Of course it does!" she exclaimed. "Dan started…questioning the intent of the Ministry after Terry Boot had detention with Umbridge and his hand got cut open. And I…I had some doubts as well. That day in Hogsmeade…Dan wasn't sick. We had a row. He…he wanted me to work things out with you because he could see that I was miserable spending all my time with his friends. And I…I…"

She shut her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. A tear escaped and rolled quickly down her cheek.

"I…I was too bloody proud to apologize. And the worst…the worst part of it is I can't undo any of it. And I might have ruined everything because of that. I…I…I'm just…I'm so sorry, Sophie."

Her voice cracked and several tears rolled down her cheeks.

This may sound stupid, but it was as though a giant invisible weight had been lifted from my chest. I had scarcely been aware that I was carrying it, but its absence was an utter relief. And though Viv's cruelest words still had a sting, I thought that perhaps it would be best to let some things go.

"It's all right, Viv," I said. "I'm sorry, too."

She started crying harder.

"Viv, I said it's all right—"

"B-b-but it shouldn't be," she sobbed.

"Well, I reckon that all the nonsense my mum spouts about the value of friendship must be true then," I stated. Viv gave a hiccupping laugh. "Really, Viv. I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry for the things I said. I'm sorry I wasn't mature enough or brave enough to apologize earlier. I'm sorry that I let this become such an issue."

We looked at each other for a moment, Viv's face streaked with tears and mine most likely bearing the evidence of a recent cry.

"Let's hug and move on," I suggested. Viv broke into a teary smile and quickly embraced me. I hugged her back fiercely, a few tears running down my cheeks and onto her robes.

"Well," said Viv, releasing me. She wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her robes. "I think that's probably the stupidest thing we've ever done."

"Without a doubt," I agreed.

"I'm glad it's over, though," she said. "I've missed you."

"I missed you, too, Viv."

She grinned. "Even if I am a terrible bitch?"

"We're well matched in that respect."

She laughed. She looked utterly relieved. I was utterly relieved.

You know, apart from the whole George situation.

"But now you must tell me precisely what happened," she said, suddenly becoming quite serious and focused.

"With what?"

"With what? With George!"

"Oh…er…right. He kissed me."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I know that. Tell me how it happened."

"There's not much to tell. I was going down to dinner and he and Fred came running through the corridor. I asked what they had done, Fred said I'd find out, and then George stopped running, grabbed my face, and kissed me. Then he said 'See you later' and ran off with Fred."

Viv blinked. "He actually said 'see you later?'"

"Yes."

She sighed. "Well, I suppose I ought not be surprised."

"No, not really."

"And I take it you enjoyed it?"

I frowned. "What?"

"You're not angry about it. You didn't slap him across the face. You've clearly realized that you think of him as more than a friend."

"I'm…honestly, I'm too confused at the moment to really know exactly what I'm feeling."

"I think you know," said Viv. "Perhaps you're not comfortable with the idea yet."

"I dunno…and even if I was, there's a good chance he doesn't think about me…in that way."

"Was the kiss French in origin?"

"Viv! That's—er—hardly—" My cheeks were burning.

"He thinks about you that way."

"Well….maybe it was part of their grand exit. Maybe it was just a stupid impulse. He didn't exactly stay around to talk about it."

"I don't think you honestly believe George would do that to you."

"I can't really help it, can I? Generally, a bloke doesn't snog you and then sprint off in the other direction."

"But he snogged you," Viv pointed out. "Properly, from what it sounds like. The sorts of guys who do that don't overlap with George Weasley."

I sighed heavily.

"Owl him," suggested Viv.

"What would I say?"

"Oh, you know, talk about the weather and then casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies."

"Vivian!"

"Really, you can't expect me to not tease you just a little," she said grinning.

"You're really no help at all."

Just then the door opened and Angelina and Alicia walked in. They both stopped and stared when they caught sight of the two of us sitting together on my bed, clearly not shouting at each other.

"You've made up!" squealed Alicia, sprinting across the room and bouncing onto my bed. "Oh this is wonderful, I'm so glad—" She abruptly cut off, her face pulling into a frown, and smacked us both in the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"You are both so stupid!" she exclaimed. "Honestly! I've been pulling my hair out because of the two of you and I can't believe—oh, but you've made up! This is so wonderful!"

And with that, she promptly burst into tears.

"She's on her rag week," explained Angelina while Alicia wept noisily on Viv's shoulder.

"That explains quite a lot," stated Viv.

And despite the fact that I had been up obscenely late the previous evening and supposedly learned a lesson from it, I stayed up late again that evening. Viv and I had to make our apologies to Angelina and Alicia and then we had quite a lot of catching up to do. Although we spent most of the time talking, I didn't mention what had happened with George. It wasn't something that I felt like sharing just yet.

*

I woke up early the next morning for the sole purpose of composing and posting some sort of letter that adequately expressed the uncomfortable mess of feelings that had developed yesterday afternoon. I dressed quickly and went down to the common room and sat at my usual table, parchment and quill in hand.

George— I wrote.

I paused and thought for a moment. What could I begin to say to him? I chewed on my bottom lip.

I'll be honest—I'm not exactly certain what to write, apart from the fact that you've really confused me. That's not to say I'm angry or anything of the sort, but really, George, you can't do something like that without a proper explanation and expect me not to be at least slightly confused.

I hope you arrived safely. Owl me when you have a moment.

—Sophie

I waited for the ink to dry and folded the parchment quickly and hurried down to the Owlery. I enlisted the help of a large tawny owl who didn't seem particularly pleased to be woken so early.

"Go quickly, all right?" The owl hooted softly and abruptly took off. I sighed heavily and my stomach flipped nervously. I had done my part. All I had to do was wait for a reply. That was fairly simple, right?

Wrong.

Angelina, Alicia, Lee, and I were all summoned to Umbridge's office during our first class. I was suddenly very grateful that I knew nothing of Fred and George's escape plans—I couldn't possibly be in trouble if I wasn't involved. That would be stupid, even for Umbridge.

"It is my understanding that you four were friends with Fred and George Weasley," said Professor Umbridge once the four of us had assembled in her office. "I want to make it absolutely clear that such behavior will not be tolerated; the Weasley twins only managed to flee Hogwarts grounds because of the confusion. Had it been any other situation, myself, Mr. Filch, and the Inquisitorial Squad would have apprehended them."

"Honestly, Professor, we didn't know anything about it," said Alicia.

"Miss Spinnet, did I ask you if you knew anything about it?" asked Umbridge sharply.

"No, Professor," sighed Alicia.

Umbridge gave a smug smirk. "However—"

Alicia and I exchanged a quick glance.

"If the Weasley brothers have any further plans to disrupt the school, I encourage you to report them to me. While such antics may appear to be amusing on the surface, in truth, they are sinister and malicious attacks. I know the Weasley twins hold anti-Ministry sentiments and it would not surprise me to discover that they are using Hogwarts as a venue to attack the Ministry."

We were all silent for a moment. Lee was desperately trying to keep a straight face.

"Please, Professor," said Alicia quietly. "Fred and George aren't like that. They just like to have a laugh…sometimes at someone else's expense, but really, they mean no harm."

"Do you mean to say that turning a school corridor into a swamp is your idea of 'a laugh', Miss Spinnet?" asked Umbridge.

"Well, no, what I—"

"Then I suggest that you not waste your time concocting defenses and excuses for these miscreants."

Alicia looked as though she didn't know what to say. Lee opened his mouth angrily, but Angelina stomped on his foot before he could say anything. Umbridge turned her gaze on me.

"Miss Fletcher, I understand you sent an owl to George Weasley this morning."

My face flushed angrily.

"You read my post?"

"I confiscated it," said Umbridge unapologetically. "It has been burned."

"You can't do that! That was a private correspondence!"

"I'm afraid you'll find that I can, Miss Fletcher. I am well within my rights as Headmistress to examine correspondence to individuals who pose a threat to the school."

"A threat?"

"Professor, please, Fred and George—"

"Did I ask you to speak, Miss Spinnet?"

Alicia fell silent. I was seething.

"All correspondence to and from Fred and George Weasley will be read and confiscated," said Umbridge in a clipped tone. A loud silence followed her declaration. "In the meantime, I suggest you carefully review who you choose to consort with. You are dismissed."

I was too angry to speak for almost the rest of the day. I suspected that Dolores Umbridge enjoyed making life more difficult for students who didn't exactly accept her way of thought. She had really outdone herself this time. The worst part was that I didn't even want to talk to George about the damn swamp or overthrowing the Ministry—I just wanted to send a perfectly benign letter expressing the fact that he had confused me in the most spectacular way imaginable. And I certainly wasn't going to go to Umbridge's office and explain the precise reason why I needed to send an owl to George Weasley.

Umbridge had found the perfect way to get other my skin without having realized it. This did absolutely nothing for my mood. It also made it almost impossible to enjoy the fact that the frequency of pranks and misbehavior had increased dramatically since Fred and George's departure, presumably for the sole purpose of giving Umbridge a difficult time.

"You've been in a temper all day," said Viv that night in the common room. We were back to doing homework together at our usual table. "And you won't say anything. What's going on, Sophie?"

"Umbridge is reading our post," I said quietly. "And she's put a ban on all correspondence to and from Fred and George."

"The owl you sent this morning—?"

"Read and burned by Umbridge herself."

Viv swore quite colorfully.

"I don't know what I'm going to do now. I certainly won't be able to get to a post office by the end of term."

"Well, I'm certain they'll realize that their owls aren't being delivered at some point…"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I was hoping to have this settled before term ended."

"What do you mean by 'settled?'"

"I don't know…that I'd have the opportunity to hear his explanation for why he did what he did…"

"I think he already explained. With his l—"

"Shut up, you know my feelings on this."

Viv rolled her eyes. "Fortunately, that doesn't mean I have to agree with them."

"Look, it just really…really mucks things up."

"I'll give you that," conceded Viv.

"Sophie, could I ask you a question?" asked Alicia, sitting down in one of the unoccupied chairs, Angelina taking a seat next to her.

"You just did."

"Well, I'd like to ask two, then."

"Fine. What is it?"

"Why were you writing to George Weasley?"

Damn.

"What, I can't write him now?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"You were up before all of us and had the owl posted by breakfast," said Angelina, arching an eyebrow.

"Lee hadn't even written to them yet and he's their best mate," added Alicia. They both sounded as though they had spent a fair amount of time discussing this.

I shrugged. "I was up early and I wanted to know how they managed to keep such an excellent secret from all of us."

"But why write to just George? Why not send another owl to Fred?"

I couldn't really think of a proper answer to that question and I also knew that they would have to find out eventually. I cleared my throat.

"George kissed me."

Angelina's eyes went wide and Alicia let out a high-pitched shriek that caused most of the people in the common room to turn and look at her strangely.

"What?"

"He kissed me."

"You understand that we're going to need more detail than that," said Angelina.

"Explain. Please," squeaked Alicia.

"The…er…the evening they left, I was going down to dinner. They both came running through the third floor corridor and I asked what they were doing. Fred said I'd find out and then George slowed down, kissed me, said 'See you later' and ran off."

"Well, that's not terribly romantic," said Alicia after a moment of silence.

"But we were right, weren't we?" said Angelina triumphantly.

"What, your 'secret feelings' theory? I…er…look, it's really complicated, to put it mildly."

"She kissed him back," added Viv. I flushed.

"Viv!"

"You told Viv and not us?" asked Alicia.

"I walked into the dormitory when she was crying about it," explained Viv. "Then we got to talking."

"You were crying?"

"I was overwhelmed!" I said defensively. "It's just…it's really complicated. He took me completely by surprise and it's…it's really confusing. I…I had a slight concern that it was…a joke, a part of the show and—"

"He wouldn't do that," said Angelina.

"Still…it's just…a lot to think about all at once."

"But you do admit it, then?" asked Alicia eagerly.

"Er…no…really, I just want to speak with him at this point and get some things worked out. I don't want to make any decisions before…"

Alicia rolled her eyes. "What's to work out? He kissed you and you kissed him back."

"Properly," added Viv.

"It's a damn sight more complicated than that," I protested. "I'm not doing anything until I have a word with him and with Umbridge reading our post, that won't happen until the end of term."

"You're just avoiding it now," said Angelina.

"I am not." I stood up and picked up my books. "I'm going to bed now. It's been a long day and I don't want to talk about this anymore."

I turned on my heel and went upstairs to the dormitory.

*

I had thought that I would scarcely be able to concentrate on anything other than my personal problems. Luckily for me, the rest of the term was really too stressful to really allow me to spend much time doing non-academic thinking. Most teachers showed no mercy when it came to N. E. W. T. preparation and I soon found myself with piles and piles of work to keep myself occupied. The actual exams were twice as exhausting as I thought they'd be, but not nearly as impossible as I had made them out to be.

Of course, Dolores Umbridge cannot go terribly long without doing something horrid. Hagrid had long been a thorn in her side and she decided the best time to remove it would be right in the midst of O. W. L. and N. E. W. T. exams. She couldn't just sack him, though—no, she had to call in Aurors and try to have him arrested in the middle of the night, probably to make sure that no students realized that she was unfairly sacking another teacher in a decidedly cruel manner. However, the fifth years taking the O. W. L. Astronomy practical exam got a good eyeful of what happened and the entire school knew the next morning. Hagrid got away, but Professor McGonagall was injured by several spells when she tried to intervene. She had been rushed to St. Mungo's for treatment. This was doubly distressing as McGonagall was our greatest advocate and possibly the only teacher that frightened Umbridge on some level. There weren't many days left in the term, but with McGonagall gone, it seemed like Umbridge would finally be running unchecked.

In addition to exams and the departure of McGonagall, my thoughts were also occupied by the fact that approaching end of term. It was my last year as a student at Hogwarts. The school was something that had been familiar to me since I was eleven. Now I was on the other side of my eighteenth birthday and it suddenly seemed as though the time had gone too quickly. It was strange to think I wouldn't be returning the next year and that the rest of the school would move on without me. Brenna had found her niche—she wouldn't need me so much next year. It was enough to make me feel terribly insignificant.

But before I could get terribly upset about leaving Hogwarts, Harry Potter had his little adventure at the Ministry of Magic. My thoughts on growing up seemed quite insignificant and silly when You-Know-Who had just made an appearance too big for even the staunchest disbelievers to ignore. No one could talk of anything else; no one could think of anything else—he was back. Even though I had believed Dumbledore when he made the claim nearly a year ago, it was terribly frightening and also terribly real in a way that it had not been before. Before, you could easily imagine him being back but not necessarily present—maybe as a weak, incorporeal cloud of evil that was floating around somewhere. But now it was very apparent that he was much more substantial and just as dangerous as he'd been years ago.

But there were bright spots in the utterly bleak realization that was gripping the wizarding world. Both Dumbledore and McGonagall returned to Hogwarts shortly after the incident at the Ministry. Although the mood at Hogwarts was grim, Dumbledore's presence provided a very tangible relief. Also cheering was the fact that Umbridge (according to rumor) had been attacked by centaurs in the Forbidden Forest and was unfit to serve as Headmistress. Lee had made a thank you card that had over one hundred signatures before McGonagall confiscated it (though I believe she was secretly pleased by his effort and the wide show of support).

And so the school year ended in an explosion of fear and relief. In fact, in all of the confusion, it was not until I was on the train back home that I remembered I would once again have an open line of communication with George Weasley. I couldn't continue saying "Well, it's complicated" and leave it alone. I would have to do something about it.

Bugger.