The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #5
Still Another Family Feud Parody
By: The Legends series
(MSX floats in a yoga stance over to the podium.)
MSX - Welcome to the Family Feud. On my left, we have the Caskets. We have Trigger…
(Trigger waves.)
MSX - Roll…
(Roll flashes her breasts.)
MSX - Barrell…
(Barrell is reading 'Suicide For Dummies'.)
MSX - Data…
(Data readies a flamethrower.)
MSX - …and Empty Space!
(Empty Space looks empty.)
MSX - On my right, we've got the Bonnes. We've got Teasel…
(Teasel cocks an old-fashion musket.)
MSX - Tron…
(Tron is sleeping.)
MSX - Bon Bonne…
(Bon tries to pick his nose, but can't 'cause her doesn't have one.)
MSX - A random Servbot…
(The Servbot waves.)
MSX - And Empty Space's brother, Empty Space!
(Empty Space 2 looks more empty than Empty Space 1. MSX unfolds his legs as Trigger and Teasel walk up.)
Trigger - Good luck.
Teasel - I'm gonna get that turkey.
Trigger - What?
MSX - Never mind. Now… blah blah blah… 100 people… blah blah… most popular answer… blah blah blah… nonexistent cash prizes… blah. Let's get this done, I've got a hooker waiting.
Board:
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
MSX - Okay, top six answers. Most popular answer. Good luck. Name a reason why the Bonnes suck so bad.
(Trigger buzzes in as Teasel gives him the crazy eye.)
Trigger - Uh…
Teasel - Turkey…
Trigger - Yeah… How about 'they just suck'?
MSX - Survey says…
Survey - Hop on one foot.
(Everyone does so.)
MSX - Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
--------- - --
They just suck - 15
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
MSX - Teasel?
Teasel - Turkey…
Trigger - He's looking at me weird.
MSX - Survey says…
Survey - Clap your hands.
(Everyone does so.)
MSX - Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
--------- - --
They just suck - 15
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
Turkey - ??
MSX - Trigger, are you going to pass or play?
Trigger - Play.
(As Trigger returns to his podium, Teasel walks backwards, continuously muttering 'Turkey…')
MSX - Hey, hottie. What's your name?
Roll - It's Roll, stupid. Remember?
MSX - But of course. Name a reason why they… -motions to opposite family- …suck so bad.
Roll - They're stupid. Like you.
MSX - Survey says…
Survey - Become a lion tamer.
(No one moves.)
Survey - Spoil sports.
Ding!
Board:
--------- - --
They just suck - 15
They're stupid - 14
--------- - --
--------- - --
Turkey - ??
MSX - Barrell, name a reason why the Bonnes suck so badly.
Barrell - Back in my day, you could get a six-pack of beer for a quarter! And ya'd drink it, and drive into a tree! Good times!
MSX - Okay… Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
--------- - --
They just suck - 15
They're stupid - 14
--------- - --
Something about beer - ??
Turkey - ??
MSX - Data, name…
Data - -in demonic tone- I am not Data. I am Lucifer, god of the underworld, and you will all perish in eternal hellfire!
(A brief silence follows.)
MSX - Data, name a reason why the Bonnes suck so bad.
Data - -in normal tone- They obviously play with Legos.
Servbot - Do not!
MSX - Do so. Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Too many Legos - 21
They just suck - 15
They're stupid - 14
--------- - --
Something about beer - ??
Turkey - ??
MSX - Empty Space, name a reason the Bonnes suck so bad.
Empty Space - …
(A card reading 'Unoriginality' is placed on the space.)
MSX - Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Too many Legos - 21
They just suck - 15
They're stupid - 14
Unoriginality - Fifty bajillion
Something about beer - ??
Turkey - ??
MSX - Makes no sense, but oh well! Next pair.
Ding!
Board:
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
(Roll and Tron glare at each other.)
MSX - Name a reason why Megaman ZX is the greatest game in the series.
(Roll buzzes in.)
Roll - Something 'bout a girl or something. -goes back to glaring-
MSX - Survey says…
X
MSX - Tron?
Tron - The main character is a female.
MSX - Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Female Lead - 23
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
Roll - I said that!
MSX - No, you said 'something about a female or something'. It's not the same thing you know!
(Roll throws her hands up and takes her seat as MSX and Tron walk over to the Bonnes.)
MSX - Bon, name a reason why Megaman ZX is the best in the series.
Bon - Babubabu.
MSX - Whatever. Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Female Lead - 23
--------- - --
--------- - --
Babubabu - ??
MSX - What's that say?
Tron - Babubabu.
MSX - Right… Freaks… Servbot! Name a reason why Megaman ZX is the best in the series.
Servbot - Isn't that the only game in the series?
MSX - Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Female Lead - 23
Only game in series - Duh!
--------- - --
Babubabu - ??
MSX - Empty Space, why is Megaman ZX the best in the series?
(A blank card is placed on the space.)
X
MSX - Wrong answer. -rolls over to Teasel-
Teasel - Turkey…
MSX - Alright then. Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Female Lead - 23
Only game in series - Duh!
Tell him to stop saying turkey - Or else!
Babubabu - ??
Trigger - Is it just me or is this survey board becoming too smart for its' own good?
Ding!
Board:
Female Lead - 23
Only game in series - Duh!
Tell him to stop saying turkey - Or else!
Babubabu - ??
He's on to me! - Cheese it!
(The board quickly changes itself.)
MSX - Okay. Next pair. -rollerskates up to his podium-
Board:
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
(Barrell and Bon exchange 'Babus'.)
Barrell - Babu! You look like you could enjoy a nice frosty beverage!
(Barrell pulls a beer out of nowhere, chugs it, and crushes the can on his forehead.)
MSX - Right… Name a video game cliché.
(Barrell buzzes in.)
Barrell - Everyone tries killing you! It's the whole point of the game these days. Back in my day…
MSX - That's lovely, geezer. Hurry up and die. Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
--------- - --
Haterism - Oh no!
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
MSX - Bon?
Bon - Babu babu!
MSX - If I hear another 'babu', I swear to God, someone's going to die! Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
--------- - --
Haterism - Oh no!
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
MSX - Nothing new is up there. -raises eyebrow- The hell? Wait! I know what's wrong!
(MSX punches the wall.)
X
MSX - There. Bon, you suck.
(MSX rollerskates up to Data.)
MSX - Data, name a video game cliché.
Data - Invisible barriers.
MSX - That's up there. I'm not even gonna stop. Empty Space, name a video game cliché.
(The space just sits there.)
MSX - Sharp, metal objects don't kill you right away, you say? Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Invisible Barriers - Ah!
Haterism - Oh no!
Invincibility - Haha!
--------- - --
--------- - --
--------- - --
MSX - Trigger, video game cliché. Now. Hurry.
Trigger - Giant pockets.
MSX - What? okay… Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Invisible Barriers - Ah!
Haterism - Oh no!
Invincibility - Haha!
RPG People Carry An Ungodly Amount Of Things In Pockets - Phew!
--------- - --
--------- - --
MSX - Roll. Video Game Cliché. Now!
Roll - Lives.
MSX - Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Invisible Barriers - Ah!
Haterism - Oh no!
Invincibility - Haha!
RPG People Carry An Ungodly Amount Of Things In Pockets - Phew!
--------- - --
Lives - WTF!
MSX - Okay, I'm bored. Yell out a video game cliché.
Trigger - Bitches!
Roll - Damsels in distress!
Barrell - Back in my day…
Data - Death!
Empty Space - …!
MSX - Guess what? You're all idiots!
(MSX rollerskates to the Bonnes' side.)
MSX - Teasel. Cliché. Give me. Now!
Teasel - Turkey!
Tron - You'll have to excuse him. He hasn't gotten over the incident from last Thanksgiving.
Teasel - Turkey…
MSX - Whatever. Survey says…
Ding!
Board:
Invisible Barriers - Ah!
Haterism - Oh no!
Invincibility - Haha!
RPG People Carry An Ungodly Amount Of Things In Pockets - Phew!
Turkey - OMFG!
Lives - WTF!
MSX - Hey, look at that. You win, but you lose.
(The Bonnes fall into a trapdoor.)
MSX - Give me two people to finish this parody with.
(Data and Empty Space are chosen.)
MSX - Data. 200 points. You get. You win. Let's go. Name a Megaman monkey.
Data - Me!
MSX - Name a hot Megaman female.
Data - Roll!
MSX - Which one?
Data - All of them!
MSX - Name a funny Megaman moment.
Data - When he pops!
MSX - Make a noise that mimes make.
(Data screams.)
MSX - Okay, let's have a look. Name a Megaman monkey. You said me. Survey says…
Me - 0
Data - You guys are a bunch of stupid asses.
MSX - Sure we are. Name a hot Megaman female. You said Roll. Survey says…
Me - 0
Roll - 100
MSX - People must like Roll. Anyways, I said 'Which one?' You said all of them. Survey says…
Me - 0
Roll - 100
All of 'em - 98
MSX - And the other two are gay. Name a funny Megaman moment. You said when he pops. Survey says…
Me - 0
Roll - 100
All of 'em - 98
When he 'pops' - 0
MSX - He doesn't pop. He explodes. I said make a noise a mime makes. Mimes don't scream. Thus…
Me - 0
Roll - 100
All of 'em - 98
When he 'pops' - 0
-screams- - 0
MSX - Bring Empty Space on out.
Empty Space - …
MSX - Okay, name a Megaman monkey.
Empty Space - …
MSX - Name a hot Megaman female.
Empty Space - …
MSX - Which one?
Empty Space - …
MSX - Name a funny Megaman moment.
Empty Space - …
MSX - Make a noise that mimes make.
Empty Space - …
MSX - Okay, Megaman monkeys. Number one was Data…
Data - I said that!
MSX - You said '…' Survey says…
… - 0
MSX - Name a hot Megaman female. You said '…' Number one was Roll. Survey says…
… - 0
… - 0
MSX - I said 'Which one?' You said '…' Number one was all of 'em. Survey says…
… - 0
… - 0
… - 0
MSX - Name a funny Megaman moment. You said '…' Number one was when Sigma says you can call him Sigma because he is, in fact, Sigma in X8. Survey says…
… - 0
… - 0
… - 0
… - 0
MSX - I said make a noise mimes make. You said '…' Number one punch one and find out. Survey says.
… - 0
… - 0
… - 0
… - 0
… - 2
MSX - Oh darn. You win a whole nothing.
(MSX throws air into the air.)
MSX - Merry Christmas, asswipes. Survey, let's get a beer.
... - You're
... - Paying
... - This
... - Time,
... - Deadbeat.
MSX - Screw you, Survey. You're a wall. You can't even move. You can't even drink beer. Anything that can't drink beer is gay. You're gay. See ya later, gaywad.
... - You
... - $!#
... - &!#$!!
... - !$()!$&))!!
... - Duck !&# mother-&(!)$ son of a $!(($& &$&! bag$&(#&! presbytarian #(&!&!!!!!
Next time: I make fun of my own show.