The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #7
A Parody of Reality
By: The Battle Network series
Megaman - Parodying reality? Won't that, like, create a hole in the universe that will destroy us all? Including me?
MSX - Quiet! Begin parody!
(An alarm rings and Lan promptly sits up in his bed. He walks outside, inhales deeply, then begins gagging. He runs inside and slams the door shut.)
Lan - Damn pollution.
(Lan walks into the kitchen as the freezer section of the refrigerator slowly melts away.)
Lan - Damn global warming.
(Lan turns on the TV.)
Reporter - Vice President Cheney shot his lawyer friend! In the face! Thinking that it was a quail!
Lan - Damn Cheney.
Reporter - In related news, FEMA still hasn't come to the site of the Hurricane Katrina accident.
Lan - Damn FEMA.
Reporter - In more related news, American Idol is coming back. Again.
Lan - Damn Simon.
Reporter - This just in. Ahnold has declined the offer to be in the fourth Terminator.
Lan - Damn… wait…
(The camera is now outside of the house and it cracks as 'Nooooooooooo…' is heard.)
Lan - Megaman! Megaman!!
Megaman - -sleepily- What?
Lan - ArnoldTerminator4noArnoldno'Hastalavista'!!
Megaman - Slow down. And speak English while you're at it.
Lan - Arnold's not in the fourth Terminator!
(Another 'Nooooooooooo…' is heard.)
Megaman - What do we do?!
Lan - There's only one thing we can do! We must fuse Dick Cheney, FEMA, Simon, and Arnold into one global warming freezing, pollution cleaning robot! I'll call it the Bitchbot 4000!
Megaman - Yea… Good luck with that!
Lan - You're right. Too expensive.
Megaman - What about a petition?
Lan - What?! It's so… so… not violent!
Megaman - That's video games for you these days.
Reporter - More news just in! OJ Simpson is releasing his first novel titled 'I Did It And There's Nothing You Can Do About It: The Origin of 'Neener! Neener!' Likewise, the new movie 'The Da Vinci's Full Of Shit Code' comes out in theatres today. No one is expected to go and see it.
Lan - Wow…
Megaman - You can say that again…
Lan - No! I almost forgot!
(Lan runs into the kitchen and comes out with a rose in his mouth and is wearing a tuxedo.)
Megaman - Let me guess.
(Lan spits the rose into his hand.)
Lan - I'm gonna score with my teacher. Oh yeah! -runs out of front door-
Megaman - I feel lonely…
Hidden Figure - You there!
(Megaman turns around as a navi with hunting gear on walks up with a shotgun.)
Megaman - Who are you?
Hunt Man - I'm Hunt Man.
Megaman - Right…
(A panel with Cheney's face appears above Hunt Man.)
Megaman - Crap…
Cheney - He swore! Rha! Get him!
(Hunt Man blows Megaman's face off and he falls to the ground.)
Cheney - Good job. Now let's go. Rha! I've got to get my sneer fixed!
Narrator - Elsewhere…
Roll - …and then he said 'Stupid nigger. That's not a gun. That's my crutch!'
(Roll begins laughing as Bass looks at the camera without turning his head.)
Guts Man - Hi, guys.
Bass - Hello, fatty.
Guts Man - I'm not fat.
(Bass suddenly becomes enraged and throws his finger in Guts Man's face.)
Bass - If I say you're fat, then you're fat! Got that, motherfucker?!
Guts Man - Temper, temper.
(Glyde skips up to the group wearing a Speedo.)
Glyde - -in homosexual tone- Like, hi, guys. So, what's on the agenda for today. I was thinking about going to mall and going on a shopping spree. They've got a sale on Hello Kitty socks.
(Bass turns and begins to float off.)
Bass - That does it. I've got to go before I get too much homosexual in my system.
Narrator - Elsewhere again…
(Lan is smoking a cigarette outside of the classroom.)
Principal - You can't smoke in here.
Lan - I'll do what I want.
Principal - You're suspended!
(Lan pulls a gun out of his pants and shoots the principal in the head.)
Lan - You're dead. And now…
(Lan goes on a rampage, shooting anyone who mutters the words 'the' or 'fluffernutter'.)
Lan - One more touch. -commits suicide- Hey, I'm not dead. Awesome! -dies-
Reporter - This just in, reality fucking sucks!
Next time: The X series returns to the Matrix.