White
"Umm, actually Fukazawa-san, you can answer me any time. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He smiles at me, and his smile is genuine.
I try to smile back, but it probably looks like a grimace. He gets up and starts to leave, before turning around to wave. My face is still in the same grimace. He turns away right before he can laugh at my facial expression.
My heart is thump-thump-thumping.
The bell rings, class is about to begin. I slowly get up, and I make my way into my class.
xXxXxXx
Later on during lunchtime, I am sitting at my desk alone, as usual. Kurosaki-san is surrounded by a few guys at his table. He notices me, returns my gaze with a smile. I look away again, focusing on the blue sky instead.
xXxXxXx
I am standing on shady street, nearby plenty of bars and whatnot. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and a man, probably in his late forties, beckons me to a hotel. I tell him my price and he agrees.
I leave the hotel, my wallet heavy.
I look down the street, and to my surprise, I see Kurosaki-san holding a bag of groceries. I hurriedly turn away, my heels tap-tapping along the sidewalk.
I slip into another adjoining street. I'm pretty sure he did not spot me.
When I enter my bedroom, I pause in front of the mirror. My eyeliner is perfect, and my dress fit me just right. Yet I still felt disgusted. I turn away and began to strip off the layers of my work.
xXxXxXx
I am wandering the halls of the school, trying to pass the time. A hand grabs my arm, and pulls me into a janitor's closet. The light goes on, and I see Kurosaki-san standing in front of me.
"Hello Kurosaki-san. If I may ask, why are we in here?" I glance at the spider webs accumulated along the ceiling.
"Fukazawa-san, I saw you come out of a hotel yesterday. Is it… true that you sell yourself?" Kurosaki-san is anxious to hear my answer. I notice he hasn't let go of my arm, but is holding it rather gently.
I fix my eyes on his to watch his reaction. I am beginning to like his eyes. But maybe he won't like me anymore when he sees what I am.
"Yes."
For some peculiar reason, his shoulders relax a little.
"Oh… Okay."
"Do you hate me now?" I am still looking at his eyes, and to my surprise, he is looking at me too. His gaze is strong: unwavering.
"No. I don't think I ever could." His shirt is a crisp white, reminding me of his goodness and honesty.
"Why? Everyone else seems to."
"I like you too much to hate you. Although, of course, I'd like it if you would stop." I like his tone of voice. He doesn't seem to expect me to change anything. But I still hear a hint of hope.
"No. I've got to go." I say and I rush out of the closet, to the nearby courtyard.
I squat down amongst the dead flowers. The wind rushes at me, and chills me from head to toe. But I like it.
"What a waste." I whisper. These flowers could have been beautiful and fragrant, but with no one to bother, they withered away. I pat them, and I think, I can relate.