I just couldn't hold it in any longer. My very first Gintama fanfic! Enjoy! (There needs to be more Kamui stories dangit!) XD

Summary: What happens when you have 18-year-old Kagura teamed with a new crazy friend who has a knack for spells and dark fairytale writing stuck in a space-school for troubled teens along with a bored Kamui and a conspiring Okita in the same dorm room because the dean is a romantic pervert? …RUN!

Preview:

The door slid. A couple of guys looking bored entered. And that was how Okita Sougo and Kamui Yato found their first day beginning.

"…" the Yato with the orange hair pulled back in a low ponytail grinned cheerfully.

"…" the Shinsegumi brunette pretty-boy smiled sadistically.

The Yato made a small movement while the brunette leaned casually against the doorframe, head almost reaching the top.

Tsuki twitched. The Yato jumped on her desk with barely a thud as he placed his arms on either side of her, head next to her reddening ear as he looked 'innocently' on at Kagura picking up an eel guy who was whimpering. "Man, already my sister gets the place to act just like her… a big crybaby," chirped his whimsical boyish voice.

Then his voice lowered considerably, husky even, to Tsuki's ears as he whispered, "So…Witch of the Moon, find the grudges yet?"

Chapter Two:

Roll of a Die.

Once again, Tsuki Nakahara had to deal with another weirdo. How many weirdoes were there in this part of the universe? Would she ever meet anyone NORMAL?

Those were the thoughts running through her head as she just blinked up stupidly at the young Yato. "Excuse me, sir. But will you please refrain from breathing in my ear. From what I heard, Umibouzo defeated Dark Vador and that means you shouldn't be picking up his habits…unless you secretly want to be an old smelly guy with a fatal dose of impatience?"

She looked every part the demure secretary telling off a pervert subtly. In this case, the perv was practically in her face. All he had to do was make one small misstep and she could -

Crush him.BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Pound his girly boy face in, eat his liver, feed him to my skeletons…Make him regret the day he disrespects me! That cursed Yato, how dare he just breathe in my…ACK! How'd he know my name…? Thisisbadthisisbadthisis – CALM DOWN…ok…just gotta ask…

Tsuki tried to play it cool as she focused on a whimpering eel-man. "A-ano…why did you call me Witch of the Moon?" she asked softly.

"Hm?" Kamui glanced at her sideway. "Isn't that your nickname? Huh. I'm telling my boyfriend you lied to me." At which point he jumped off, grabbed Okita by the collar and threw him at Kagura, who was busing threatening a random human (who has no idea where he came from) for sukonbu.

"Give me my damn sukonbu you little portal-hopping jer – ACK!" Thud. "Why the heck are YOU here?" Kagura started strangling the sleepy-eyed man.

"You lit – ack – tle c-china…" Okita went wild and kicked her up to the ceiling at which she just rebounded and threw a punch back at him. He blocked it with an Aikido technique and the fight began. [Snow spirits started carrying boxes of popcorn and yelling 'Brawl to the Death, get your snacks here! C'mon – before the teacher comes! ON SALE!' at which cheers and taunts exploded and things really got heated.]

Meanwhile on the sidelines, the witch and the rebel space general just watched the couple as they had their own silent battle. Tsuki sweatdropped and drawled, "How did she JUST notice the guy. I mean, come on, he had a stellar bazooka. Who wouldn't notice that beauty?"

She said this so seriously that Kamui was starting to question his choice of company, not that he was one to talk.

Completely forgetting about her own "mission" she started to fantasize about the bazooka and made plans to get her own. It was a limited edition too! No – she shouldn't steal…no…"NOOOOOOO!" she screamed. Then she started shaking her head as the impossibilities of finding that kind of bazooka in her current price range.

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at her. "…"

"…"

"…Sorry your majesty." The classroom bowed and headed back to their seats as if she just punished them mercilessly.

"…" Tsuki sweatdropped again. Wha…? She looked to the side.

Kamui managed to secure a seat right next to her. The Okita also took the seat in front of Kagura and turned his chair around to face them. What was with this set up?

Kagura huffed. Then she suddenly had this traumatized look in her face. "A-a-a-a-a! YOU!" She pointed to Okita. "And YOU!" She pointed to Kamui. Both had innocent looks on their faces. "YOU'RE GOING OUT?"

Okita looked deadpanned. He drawled annoyed, "Why on EARTH would you believe that? And instead of questioning my preferences (and my type for that matter cause who would date someone related to you, shouldn't you be asking why we're even here? And where I got my super nice bazooka?"

At which Tsuki promptly raised her hand and chirped, "I'll ask ~, where did you get that limited edition stellar bazooka, Mr. Pretty Boy?"

"Eh…Swapmeet. Could you please call me Okita-kun? This monster here," he jabbed his thumb at Kagura, who was fuming toxic vapors at the moment, "calls me Sadist. But that's because she can't remember new words."

The china girl barked back, "Why, at least I don't stalk twenty-something year old men you yaoi closet fan!"

"See, even delusional. She sleeps in a twenty-something year old man's closet."

Abruptly, Tsuki got up as tears fell from her eyes dramatically. Sparkles could be seen in the air. "You, come here," she pulled Okita from his seat in one swoop. "And…you," she started to grab Kamui, but hesitated and instead pointed a finger as he got levitated next to Okita.

Both of them had blank looks on their faces.

Tsuki whisked her head to the side, staring off into a far-off horizon (or rather imaginary seeing as the sun was a ball of fire out of the window). "I shall help you on your lives' journey. May you both be honest with your feelings." She snapped her fingers, blushing.

It was too late. Before either of them could react in time, Kamui – most feared warrior in the universe and Okita – most sadistic man in the universe, committed an act of love everywhere – they kissed.

Kagura fainted, her umbrella rolled out of her hand. Tsuki just cried tears of joy as she squatted next to the spirited away girl.

The boys were in a state of shock. And then they punched each other in the face. Finally, with their backs turned away from the two girls, they started shaking. The rest of the class who could see them started running out of the classroom fearing for their lives.

Murderous intent emitted from the two men as Tsuki and Kagura (who finally recovered) cocked their heads in confusion.

The midnight draped woman with fiery eyes glanced at the pure sky blue gaze of the oranged-haired woman with the red chinese kimono (Gin: She had black tights! I'm not a bad father!). They gulped.

The Women's Side:

Red eyes flickered nervously. "H-ha, hi…My name's Tsuki Nakahara. He's not gay, is he?" She scratched the back of her head.

A pout and a serious gaze. "No-aru. If he was, the entire universe would know. Takes a real woman to get a man to do stuff." (Hasegawa: Not THAT kind of stuff! My ex-wife would make me clean, sure, but NOT THAT!) She smiled kindly and said, "Hey, you're not that bad. I'm Kagura – Yorozuya Kabuki-cho Queen at your service!" She did a 'V' sign.

Tsuki grinned. "Nice to meet you. Well, then, shall we run?"

Kagura smiled wide. "Uh-huh. Before we intrude on their privacy-aru." Suddenly she lifted her umbrella in defense as Tsuki spread a barrier around herself. The two men wasted no time in attacking.

Tsuki yelled over the clashes of umbrellas, bazookas, and breaking desks, "Guess they heard! Aluminosfaterumakorasheni…huh?"

Kagura also stopped in mid-punch.

Baffled, they just stared. Kamui and Okita had stopped moving. The guys glanced at each other with smirks and darkened gazes as Kagura and Tsuki started inching toward the exit.

Kamui growled, "Where do you think you're going?" He looked up in a fake smile as he cocked his head to the side. Like a demonic marionette.

Kagura threw a raspberry at him. She spat, "Nowhere you stupid brother! Besides what are you to do doing here? Don't you have lives to destroy?" She's pissed off from the fact he's part of the Space War suppliers.

Okita shook his head. "It's more complicated then that…" his voice was soft, "the planets would get the supplies no matter where they come from. Besides all the people already out there will need the supplies…it's too late for that merciful thinking…" His gaze darkened as he thought about what will happen.

Kamui gazed seriously at his sister then at Tsuki. He slowly walked toward them and slung an arm around Tsuki. Too late, he immobolized her arms. "The war has already begun. It's our job to see it end. I can't deny the thrills the fights give me…but I don't like these wars. Not anymore."

Kagura was too emotional to notice; however, as she glared furiously at her older brother. "Why, then? Why are you here, what's with your sudden change of heart…and why are you here with Okita Sougo of the Shinsegumi?"

While on her rant, Okita snuck up behind the oblivious china girl. He twirled her around and then shut her up –

-with a kiss. Wait. What. Kagura's eyes widened as she tried to talk, but to no avail. Her eyes started drooping as she fell limp in his arms. Stupid bastard had a sleeping drug…

Tsuki started to protest when Kamui pressed her face close to his, close enough that their noses were touching. He whispered, his hot breath making her blush and annoyed at her body's reactions, "There is something going on in this school. You know it, I know it. Heck even that silver-haired samurai told my sister about it. We need you, Madame Witchy. I guess you could say, it was a roll of a die that got me to meet you. So, rest before the real battle begins…" Then he pressed his lips gently to hers and slipped his tongue with the sleeping drug in.

Tsuki squirmed, but she too relented and fell into a deep slumber.

Okita and Kamui, most sadistic and dangerous men that (Otae: Weird, demented -; Sarutobi: Smart Readers love! As long as you stay away from MY Gin-chan ~) …yea what the psychic channel of Gintama characters said. Anyway, they carried their respective sleeping women and walked to their dorm room.

Okita just whistled as he walked. "Too bad we didn't warn them we tied up the teachers and sent him to Earth to be replaced…by some certain people."

Kamui just looked down at the adorable sleeping girl. "Hm…Or that we 'requested' certain room arrangements."

He kicked a door to his right and entered with Okita following suite. "Welcome to your living hell, ladies."

To be Continued…

ME: ACK! I kept diverting between girl to woman to lady… hope it wasn't too mushy for you. Trying to find a good balance. There's a Space War going on and everyone is somehow trying to act undercover at the school. Whether the dean is a good guy or a bad guy will be unveiled. I mean, how's he NOT gonna notice all the new teachers?

I would appreciate any constructive criticism and so on. Any reviews would be wonderful!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Hm, who should the new arrivals be? And why is a Space School so important in this war that a general and an officer are here? And, what will the girls do when they wake up? Stay tuned!

Gin: 18-year old girls are at a tender age…you know with tantrums and compulsive clothes-buying

Me: Shut. Up. Or you will be tied to Hijikata and dumped in Kondo's schemes.

Gin: I…[ran to hide under his table, kicking Kondo out the window first]

Me: Ahem. See you next time! X) P.S. if there's any typos, I suppose I'll get to it after a while. It's pretty late and I still gotta do HW…math…joy…