The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #14
A Parody of Rocky II
By: The Classic series
MSX - Greetings. Before we get started, I would like to warn you that this chapter is overly-racial and is still purely for comedic content. I mean nothing by it. Now, let's begin…
(During the opening fight, Flashman begins beating on Bass.)
Flashman - KKK strikes again, negro!
Bass - You're going down, cracka!
(At the hospital, it happens again.)
Bass - Get up out of that chair, honky!
Flashman - You're mine, tarbaby!
(A little bit later, a nurse comes in.)
Flashman - What happened?
Nurse - That nigger broke your nose!
(Flashman suddenly becomes violent and the nurse struggles to keep him in the bed. Outside, Flashman and Roll walk away.)
Random Man - What could be more important than this deal?
Flashman - I dunno… The second coming of Jesus. World peace. The extinction of African-Americans. That sort of thing…
(As Flashman and Roll kiss, Neon Tiger scoffs.)
Tiger - Worst proposal ever.
(As they are married, the priest says something, then turns to Rocky.)
Priest - Si?
Flashman - Whatever you say so, wetback…
(In the alleyway, the group begins singing a song 'just for Rocky'.)
Group - We don't want niggers in our schools! Don't care for integration!
Flashman - I'll be leaving now…
(In the bedroom, Roll is laid on the bed, then Flashman begins laughing like a pervert.)
Roll - Sorry, I didn't agree to that. -rolls over-
Flashman - Nooooooooo…
Roll - And this isn't the Star Wars parody yet!
(The next morning, the two get a car.)
Flashman - I'm sorry. This car is black. Do you have anything in a bright white?
(While on their shopping spree, Flashman stops by a gun store.)
Flashman - Excuse me.
Clerk - May I help you?
Flashman - I'm looking for a gun.
Clerk - Any specific type?
Flashman - One that'll down a nigger in a shot or two.
(A long silence follows.)
Clerk - I got just the thing for you.
Roll - Oh no…
(The clerk puts a shotgun on the counter.)
Clerk - Rumor has it that this gun was carved out of wood by the Six Flags guy.
Flashman - Ain't this gun metal?
Clerk - That's the mysterious part.
Roll - I'm gonna wait in the car.
(On a set for an advertisement, Flashman is prepared for filming.)
Random Guy - We just wanted to wait until the swelling went down.
Flashman - I know. Creams work miracles these days, don't they?
Roll - Consider me disgusted. -walks off-
(After filming for a few hours, the director steams off.)
Flashman - Four hours? We've barely wasted four minutes!
(In the meat factory, Flashman laughs out loud.)
Flashman - This will make great practice when I storm Detroit with a machete and two .45s.
(Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at him.)
Flashman - What? Am I thinking out loud again?
Employee - Our boss is black!
Flashman - I'll start with him!
(After Flashman is fired, he walks off.)
Flashman - Nigger.
Boss - What'd you say?
(Flashman puts his face within an inch of his boss' face.)
Flashman - I said 'nig-ger'!
(Downstairs, the two have a conversation.)
Roll - I could… get my job back at the…
Flashman - Corner of Fifth and Madison?
Roll - You know what? You'd better find another job or I'll cut your balls off with a rusty hacksaw.
Flashman - -quietly- Yes, ma'am.
(In the gym, as Iceman slaps Flashman, he punches Iceman back.)
Flashman - Douche.
Roll - By special request by me, the following scenes have been edited out of the parody because things would get just to perverted.
(As Roll comes out of a coma, she is handed Infinity Mijinion.)
Mijinion - Show me dem titties!!
(Roll screams, throws him into the air, and brings the cover over her head.)
Roll - Happy place! Happy place! Happy place!
(After Roll calms down, she pulls Flashman closer.)
Roll - Do something for me. Kick that nigger back to Africa.
Iceman - What are we waitin' for?! Let's go!!
(As the Rocky music starts, Flashman laughs again.)
Flashman - This is my nigger-beating music! Oh yeah!!
(As the match begins, Flashman puts in his mouthguard.)
Bass - -muffled- You're goin' down.
Flashman - -muffled- You're gonna have a cross burned in your front lawn.
(At the beginning of the fifteenth round, Flashman and Bass get in each other's faces again.)
Bass - Prepare to die, ya cracka honky foo!
Flashman - I'm gonna kick your ass not 'cause you're black now, but 'cause you just said that.
(Once Flashman wins, he grabs the microphone.)
Flashman - I did it! I did it! I proved that there is no greater power than white power!!
Jack Thompson - This has to be the work of the evil video games!
(Flashman pauses, then punches him out.)
Flashman - Shut the fuck up! You're worse off than they are!
Next time: The Legends and Battle Network series discover the true horror of feathered fiends.